Post Number: 1
|Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2017 - 12:54 pm: || |
I have read several things on this website and some other resources that have been and will continue to be helpful to me.
I have also spoken with Cindy over the phone last year and I appreciated her praying with me.
My husband, Frank, is seventh day adventist and so is his aunt and uncle. I am not, but I am a christian. Last year at this time, I saw nothing really wrong with the SDA church (I thought the differences were minor) and enjoyed fellowship with them. After longing to be a member of a church with my husband (and still long for that), I mentioned it to his aunt. Then, her husband (Frank's uncle) asked if he could do a bible study with me. It's a really long bible study from the Amazing Facts org. As I began learning, I've become convinced that the SDA is wrong and I can't ever join.
I'm a busy Mom with small kids and I work from home. So, studying all the wrongs of the SDA church seems daunting. I haven't challenged his uncle much, because he is several generations SDA and is ready for the challenge. I've just been like a spunge, but letting him know that I will be doing further study and haven't adopted the SDA doctrines yet (although, I know I never will). I am nervous, that if I engage him, a debate could go on forever. I would love your feedback and prayer for me. I meet with him every Monday. We have 5-6 sessions left.
My biggest concern is my husband. I don't know how to bring up all of our differences and why I will not become a member. He does support me as I go to church on Sunday. I think mainly it's because he is Spanish speaking and goes to a Spanish SDA church. I don't speak Spanish, so when I go with him on Saturday I don't understand anything. He thinks the church I go to on Sundays is good for me and our kids since it's in English. He also said he believes SDA not to be the only christian church (although, I know that is not the belief of his uncle and aunt and the "bible" study). Frank will say that the church I attend on Sundays is great, but needs to worship on Saturdays, but other than that, it's a good church.
I'm so grateful for my husband's support of worshiping on Sundays. I do still attend with him on Saturdays, but I can't understand anything since it's in Spanish. It's hard for me to go, though, as I feel like it's WRONG and I don't want us to be apart of that church.
My plan is to PRAY for my husband and our family. I plan to review the bible study and list all the issues/doctrine I think is wrong with bible references, so that I can have it when the conversation with my husband happens. He will know that I took time to study and I went through a study with his uncle. Hopefully that will give me some credibility with my husband.
I would appreciate your thoughts, encouragement, or challenge on my situation. But mostly, please pray for me.
Post Number: 2
|Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2017 - 1:06 pm: || |
I also wanted to add. Cindy recommended me and my husband do the Covenants bible study together from I think the Life Assurance ministry.
Pray for me about that too.
I receive a lot of respect and encouragement from my husband right now. He hasn't always responded well when I've challenged him. I hate stirring the pot if the Lord is not in it. Pray that I would be sensitive to the Holy Spirit in what I do and say and how I approach all of this with Frank. I don't want him running to his church or aunt and uncle for further indoctrination. I want the Lord to open his eyes to the truth.
Post Number: 3
|Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2017 - 4:08 pm: || |
OH my, I meant Colleen, not CINDY. Sorry Colleen. I see your picture pop up with your name in posts and you look like my neighbor Cindy and it doesn't help that both your names begin with the letter, "C".
Post Number: 2200
|Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2017 - 7:06 pm: || |
Hi Katie! Welcome!
Like you, I am also a "never-been" who married a 4th generation SDA. I have gone to the same Lutheran church all my life, and my husband went to his SDA church occasionally. We were married for 10 years before I really started delving into the "unique" teachings of Ellen White and the SDA church. Their teachings are sometimes confusing and while my in-laws are very sincere in their faith, I found some of their doctrines very disturbing. Once I found this site I learned so much ~ it gave me a lot of relief to know I wasn't crazy!
I think you're doing the right thing by having the list of issues and have Bible references along with it. Hopefully it will plant some good seeds with your husband!
If you haven't already, check out some of the wonderful witness stories here in the web site. They are really helpful, powerful stories.
Post Number: 4
|Posted on Friday, May 26, 2017 - 8:17 am: || |
Thank you Leigh Anne! I know the feeling of "crazy" up against the SDA doctrine when so many close to you are convinced it's true. It's also hard when they look at me as one who needs a conversion to the truth. I'm a mission opportunity. I anticipate a great disappointment when I don't convert and could be blamed for leading my husband astray if he leaves the church one day.
I praise God that I am his sheep and I can't be plucked out of Jesus' hand. He is the good shepherd!
Post Number: 2201
|Posted on Friday, May 26, 2017 - 11:45 am: || |
My husband and I met when we were teenagers. There was so much frustration on his family's part with him dating a "Sunday keeper". What a rude, condescending term. Anyway, I went to church both Saturday and Sunday for a long time but the Saturday services were like a funeral (it is a very traditional conservative SDA church) and so much of what they said either made me confused, shocked or angry. There was a constant reference to EGW (I got to where I would count how often she was mentioned!) and the pastor telling the congregation how lost and dangerous mainstream churches were, as well as how bad meat was. I rarely heard the gospel and finally realized their main objective was not to lead people to Jesus, but to lead people (particularly Christians) to the SDA church. So I quit that business!
Over the years I have just decided to love my family and let Jesus shine through me. They've gotten used to me and my faith as well as how active our kids are at our Lutheran church. I think they finally just gave up on converting me, LOL! We all get along wonderfully and I love them all very much.
Let your light shine, Girl!
Post Number: 15499
|Posted on Tuesday, May 30, 2017 - 10:19 pm: || |
Welcome, Katie! I'm so glad you've joined us. I will definitely pray for you and for your husband. God is faithful; He never tricks us, and His word is living and judged the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Because you believe the Lord and His word, He is giving you discernment. He will help you with this.
So glad you're here!
Post Number: 3242
|Posted on Wednesday, May 31, 2017 - 5:59 am: || |
Welcome to the forum. Sounds like the Lord has blessed you with the gospel message and much wisdom in not engaging 'hard core' Adventist in an ongoing 'bible study' of theirs as that can go on forever. I was a fourth generation SDA but dropped out sixty years ago because I realized I could never become perfect and decided to become a "happy sinner" instead...of course there is no such thing. After ten years of doing that when I had finally heard the real gospel I realized I had given my life to the Lord at age six when both my brother and I had accepted Jesus as our Savior. Never give up praying for your husband. A Christian couple loved and prayed for me for two years without seeing the battle going on within my heart before the truth of Romans 8:39 became real for me.
Post Number: 7
|Posted on Sunday, June 04, 2017 - 2:23 pm: || |
Thank you Colleen for your encouraging words and prayer for me and Frank. Thank you, Phil for the welcome and encouragement. Yes, I will continue praying!
Post Number: 1263
|Posted on Friday, July 07, 2017 - 5:22 pm: || |
I haven't posted in a VERY long time, because I've been busy with the nightmare of having two sons in prison. I could write a book! Some day, I will.
But for now, I wanted to share that I'm in my 27th year of marriage to a devoted SDA husband. After spending 16 years in the SDA organization as a member, I had to quit and renounce my membership. I just could not continue to portray to all the dear SDA people that I supported their doctrines and practices, when I finally came to realize they actually create a false Jesus and try to proselytize Christians into their false doctrines.
My husband eventually gave up on trying to convince me, because I became pretty good at using Scripture to refute the false doctrine.
One example is when I showed my husband page 75 of Early Writings, by Ellen White, where she predicts that Jerusalem would never be rebuilt. That was obviously a false prophecy, because we can all see with our own eyes that Jerusalem is a vital and bustling city.
Hubby refused to discuss this with me and pretty much gave up on ever trying to discuss anything else about Adventism with me.
As you know, there is a verse in Deuteronomy (someone here will tell us the specific verse, I'm sure) that states you can know a false prophet by observing whether any of their prophecies turn out to be false. Well, the Jerusalem prophecy has definitely turned out to be false.
Post Number: 1264
|Posted on Friday, July 07, 2017 - 5:30 pm: || |
So, now that hubby's children from his first marriage and my children from my first marriage are all grown and have children of their own, we find there is less and less that we have in common.
Hubby lives in Kansas City with his sister, who is single and needs help with her several-acre homestead. Hubby is fulfilled by taking care of the huge lawn, the house, and the few outbuildings. His sister is very grateful for his help, because there is no way she could handle the place on her own. She's not SDA, by the way, and they never discuss religion.
I, on the other hand, live in the Denver area right now, hoping to provide a home to my son, who may be getting out of prison soon. Hubby and I communicate by text, email, and infrequent phone calls. We still love each other, but we're more like friends, instead of marriage partners. We're both perfectly happy with this arrangement.
Hubby still faithfully attends the SDA church near him and I have just started attending a PCA church near me after having been out of the church habit for the past 6 years.
I'm liking the church, but they won't let me partake of communion until and unless I am a member in good standing of any Bible-believing church.
As a former Adventist, I have great hesitancy imagining myself coming under the authority of the elders of any church. The Lord will have to do some major convincing in my mind and heart, before I'm ready to do that.
Post Number: 563
|Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2017 - 1:37 pm: || |
Nice to have you back again. I have wondered about you, & cared about you, knowing you had mentioned your sons situations previously. I am glad you are content with your arrangement. Not being on the same page spiritually with a life partner does leave a gaping hole in a relationship -- I can attest to that. For me this has occurred in the last decade; now I am 70. It's a hard change at a hard time of life's transitions.
Just wanted you to know that you have been remembered (prayerfully), & missed.
Post Number: 433
|Posted on Thursday, July 13, 2017 - 3:41 pm: || |
It's nice to hear from you, Honestwitness.
I'm happy to hear that your son may be home soon. How is he?
I'm out of the church habit myself. I like to read books, and listen to sermons by Tim Keller. He's a Presbyterian minister in NYC. I don't know if he is PCA, or if their is another branch of the Presbyterian Church.
Don't be a stranger.
Post Number: 15513
|Posted on Friday, July 14, 2017 - 10:55 am: || |
Honestwitness, it's good to hear from you and to see you again! I'm so sorry about the heartache and losses in your life.
I understand the reluctance to join a church. I'm glad you are enjoying the fellowship; God will guide you as to membership. If the doctrinal statement os sound and the teaching is biblical and the fellowship is good, membership is not a horrible thing. But as you said, God deals with us regarding these things.
Thank you for telling us what has happened in your life. I pray the Lord will protect and provide for you as you deal with your sons and put down some roots in a local church. God is faithful, and I'm so glad you've checked back with us! I look forward to "seeing" you more!
Post Number: 1265
|Posted on Friday, July 14, 2017 - 9:06 pm: || |
Rita, Carol, and Colleen,
Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate you for responding.
Carol, I looked up Tim Keller and he is PCA.
Colleen, thanks for the encouragement about church membership. I guess I need to think about it that way.
Post Number: 3248
|Posted on Saturday, July 15, 2017 - 6:05 am: || |
Throughout the past several years I've wondered about how you're doing and prayed for your best.
Your friend always,
Post Number: 1267
|Posted on Monday, July 17, 2017 - 6:01 pm: || |
Thank you for reaching out, Phil. I appreciate your prayers and thoughts.
Post Number: 15
|Posted on Tuesday, July 18, 2017 - 12:14 pm: || |
Hi Honestwitness, Thank you for sharing. I attend a PCA church too. Being under the care of a local bible believing/evangelical church is so important. I've spent the last several months in a so called "bible" study with my husband's uncle (SDA) so I can learn about the SDA church.....it has driven me to be more serious about church and how I need a body of believers to walk alongside me. We also need to hear the preaching of God's word.
Post Number: 3542
|Posted on Wednesday, July 19, 2017 - 11:14 am: || |
Kcaicedo; welcome to the forum
Post Number: 1268
|Posted on Wednesday, July 19, 2017 - 4:19 pm: || |
Kcaicedo, thanks for responding.
Do you have a problem with the subject of drinking alcohol? I am having a harder time with that than I am with the "fenced" communion table.
I'm a teetotaler from way back, even before I joined Adventism. I just have some strong feelings about this topic. That's the one thing I miss about fellowshipping with Adventists...there is never any alcohol at any of their events or homes.
I can't say that about my PCA friends. In fact, at my PCA church the men are planning a retreat in which one of the events is being held at a brewery.
I have seen alcohol destroy so many lives and I don't think it's right for Christians to expect those with addictions to just buck up and get over it at their fellowship events.
What does everyone else think?