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River
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Username: River

Post Number: 6038
Registered: 9-2006


Posted on Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - 2:23 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I think I would like to take up the challenge of writing a short story about a 14 year old boy who observes the day of Pentecost and is forever changed, when one day he loses his father and mother to murderous Roman soldiers and is plunged into the melee of Pentecost, and is forever changed by it. His broken heart of bitterness is healed, and he is betrothed to Gabi as he is forced into manhood, it all comes together on the day of Pentecost.
I would like to have a co-writer. How about it Sondra?
Here is my start.

Unnamed Title


Since Adin’s father had moved the family to Jerusalem his life seemed mundane. There was not nearly as much to do as there was when they lived in the hills, but father had said they must move, so they moved.

His father Kalman has chosen the trade of a tanner, and he said Jerusalem was where the business was.
Adin was 14, and his father had told him it was time to take his place in the process of tanning goat’s hides.

He hated the mornings of school in the temple, but he hated even worse the stinking vats where the hides were soaked to take off the meat and hair, but he wanted to help his father make a living.

That was where he spent his afternoon’s, laying out the hides and scraping the stinking things, then taking the hides from the day before out of the vat.
The only bright spot in his day was when he got a chance to talk with Gabi, the girl whose fathers shop was next door. It smelled better over there, her father was a baker.

“Get up Adin, you have to help your father all day today.” His mother shook his shoulder just as a rooster was trying his best to wake up the world.

“Someday, I will have the roosters gizzard!”

“No you won’t Adin, you are prone to exaggerate, but your father will work that out of you today. Get your morning meal now.”

His mother looked at him fondly; he knew her stern words were softened with love for her only child. Something had happened when he was born, and she was not able to bear more children.

After eating he stumbled sleepily out to the court yard of their Jerusalem home, which was next to the hide and tallow business they extracted their living from.
The sun was just peeping over the mountains to the east, turning the sky a rosy red and pink.

He heard the rattle of Roman soldier’s horses as they made their way through the narrow streets, heading out for patrol in places he only dreamed of visiting.
Jerusalem had seen its share of excitement lately, as the soldiers had crucified three men, a man called Jesus and two others, they had been found guilty of some crime or other.

He had wanted to go and see but, “These things are not for your eyes boy, goat’s hides are better for you eyes, than such goings on.” His father had said sternly. He had scraped more hides that day.
Gabi and her father had stayed in the bakery that day also, and the day had seemed oppressing as tales filtered back of the suffering of the men the Romans had killed.

Adin walked to the back gate and let himself through to the back of the hide and tallow shop, which was next door to the two story temple, with its outbuildings.


Do you think the story could have interest? Comments anyone?
River
Bb
Registered user
Username: Bb

Post Number: 645
Registered: 7-2004
Posted on Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - 4:39 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

It would be interesting, River! I don't know much about how life was in those times! Go for it! I'm enjoying reading the books you sent me!
River
Registered user
Username: River

Post Number: 6039
Registered: 9-2006


Posted on Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - 7:13 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I don't know zilch myself about life in those times, I guess that is the Advantage of fiction.
The disadvantage in a story like this (or in fact) any of the stories that I have attempted to write, is that you have to get inside the head of a character that never existed, up until the time you catch a vision of the character, the place, and the time.

Then the writer has to become emotionally involved with a character he/she has never met, what do they feel? What do they see? Not from your eyes, but their eyes.

The big difference in this story is that I would like to enlist a co-writer, I have written by myself, writing a story on your own is easy.

Writing with a co-writer should be doable.

I think the idea for this story has been floating around the edges of my desire for some time.

I understand that Adventist think God is against fiction, that is sad.
Philharris
Registered user
Username: Philharris

Post Number: 2019
Registered: 5-2007


Posted on Sunday, February 28, 2010 - 12:42 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Well River,

Unless somebody has contacted you directly, it would appear that none of us have taken up your challenge to work with you on this project.

As for myself, I would have no idea how to come up with "Christian fiction" because I am thinking it would require being morally true and set within an accurate environment. Put another way, I intuitively know when something is beautiful but have no idea how to describe it.

Knowing I could never become one, I admire those who do so. When I tell a story it is within context of something I have really seen, learned or experienced.

Challenge me with an actual event or person or something I can research or have witnessed.

Fearless Phil
8thday
Registered user
Username: 8thday

Post Number: 1477
Registered: 11-2007


Posted on Thursday, March 04, 2010 - 11:57 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi River, been gone awhile.. sorry! I am no fiction writer, but I love the premise of this story! I would love to see you finish it, and I think you are very capable!! I can offer you some Jewish flavor - but beyond that.... not much help in the fiction department. Pointless satire.. yes. I can do that. ha.

Sondra
River
Registered user
Username: River

Post Number: 6057
Registered: 9-2006


Posted on Thursday, March 04, 2010 - 12:24 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hey Sondra, I've missed you. Well...if you're chicken, :-) my problem has been time and will to stick with it lately.
I'm tempted at times to just throw a cover on the stories I have, and call it good, but I also know to wait upon the Lord, I know if I get huffy he's liable to kick my writers butt. So I will keep waiting awhile longer.
River

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