| Author | Message | ||
| Colleentinker |
I thank you all for your prayers. I've had quite a lot of different kinds of thoughts as I've sat beside my dad watching him sleep and interacting with him in the limited but meaningful ways I can. One thought I've pondered is this: a book loaned to our family by the hospice nurse has a paragraph saying that people generally die as they lived. If they're quiet, they die quietly. If they are angry and controlling, they die the same way. If they are care-givers, they try to give care up to their final breath. My dad truly is dying the same way he lived: calmly and peacefully. That realization led to me to a second thought. The reason my dad lived calmly and peacefully is that he lived with integrity. He was loyal to his commitments; he was true to his concvictions. He also lived with openness to growth and truth. If evidence convinced him, in any area of his life, that his beliefs were flawed, he would alter his beliefs. Perhaps the biggest demonstration of this commitment to truth was his leaving the SDA culture later in his life. Another gift my dad had was not holding a grudge. He was always able to forgive even egregious wrongs. That doesn't mean he let people walk on him; he didn't. Rather, he was able to entrust people to God and to let God be their judge. He didn't have to be responsible for their retribution. As an Adventist I never heard people talk about ending well. Since joining a Christian community, however, I've heard ending well mentioned frequently. Watching my dad fade away is showing me how it looks when one ends well. He is not struggling with unresolved guilt or hurts. He knows he belongs to Jesus, and he is content to fade away with us near him. I've heard people in the medical professions say that Adventists do not know how to die. I'm really beginning to understand what they mean. How can one die peacefully if one does not know they are secure in Jesus? How can one die peacefully if they think they are going to be nowhere until Jesus comes and they don't know whether or not they will be judged "ready" when he comes? It's all sometimes unbearably sad, but it's also remarkably hopeful. I am thanking God for everyone who is praying for us. I know it makes a difference in how we are able to deal with this event. Gratefully, Colleen | ||
| Nate |
Colleen, I just checked the site today and noticed the posts. We will be praying for you! May the grace of God give you strength and hope in the midst of the pain. I am so grateful that you have hope to share and rest in with your Dad. What a blessing to know that this is just the beginning of a great advdenture for him and not the end! In Christ, Greg | ||
| Sammi |
OK friends....it's almost time. I've been working on a letter (explaining my decision to leave the SDA church) which I'm planning to send early next week to my closest SDA friends, pastors, and family. It's so scary because I know what the typical reaction will be, as it would have been my reaction a couple of years ago. I've been somewhat secretive on the forum in the past, because I was working at my church (for quite a few years) until recently. I have since quit my job, but am very close to the pastors and have a very close circle of friends in the church. As some of you know, I've been praying about this for quite a few months now, and have seen God open and close doors for me, leading me through this. Please keep me in your prayers this weekend and early next week. I would really appreciate it. Please pray for my mom also. I think this will be particularly hard on her, as she has already lost another child to the "Sunday" keepers. (I hope you all know I joke when I say that, it's just so typical for me to hear SDAs say "Are they a Sunday keeper?" or "Is that a Sunday church?", etc. Anyway, I solicit your prayers, I anticipate next week to be stressful because of this. Thanks so very much, Sammi | ||
| Doug222 |
Sammi, My prayers are with you. Please let us know how things go. I am on your heals--having felt that God has been leading me in this direction for some time. Some events in the last couple of weeks have confirmed the need to make that decision. May God cotinue to bless you! Doug | ||
| In_his_service |
Brother and Sister in Christ. Your decision is one of the most frightening you can ever make. It means leaving a security blanket that is woven so very tightly around you and literally walking into the jaws of the "Roaring lion" that you have always been taught was "out there" waiting to devour you. One word from one who has gone before; Put your eyes totally and ONLY on Jesus. Don't let anyone divert them to laws or doctrines or prophets or special days or anything else but JESUS.....ever again! He has promised that if you will put your complete faith and trust in Him and make Him your Lord and personal Savior, He will never cast you out. You WILL be saved! Don't let anyone cast doubt on that. It's a fact and it is in His book! They love to use guilt and fear....and they are very good at it. But remember, When the Son sets you free, you are free INDEED! Good wishes to you at this time. May God richly bless your step of faith and lead you to His family in Christ. You will be in my prayers and can't wait to hear next of your moment of victory in Jesus! <>< Thomas | ||
| Lydell |
Doug and Sammi, my prayers are with you. Sammi, the answer to your mom's "are you becoming a Sundaykeeper?" should be a resounding "NO!". The only thing you are going to be keeping is Jesus. You are taking a step to truly completely sabbath in Jesus. In a perfect world, you would break the news to your mom and your friends and they would be happy for you and joyfully listen to what you have to say. But you already know that is not likely to happen. Undoubtedly there is going to be a rather heavy guilt trip laid on you. You know Sammi, we are only expected to follow Christ and speak what He lays on our hearts to say. We are not responsible for how our words are received. You wouldn't take credit if things go swimmingly, and you can't take the blame if you end up "making them" angry. It is their choice how they react. I know that won't take the sting away... I'm praying that the Lord surprises you with hearing some positive feedback from some! You are right Thomas, the first steps are scary. But guys, what you are going to find is that you are being set free to truly experience fellowship with the body of Christ. There are so many Christians out here waiting to embrass you and love you. Please allow the Lord to lead you to them quickly! Those of us here on the forum can only help you so far. You need the love and support of Christians right there where you are to keep you moving forward into your new life. Blessings! | ||
| Sammi |
Thank you Doug, Thomas, and Lydell ~ I've prayed and decided this morning I'm sending my letter - there is no longer any reason to wait until the first of the week, and I want to finish this! I so appreciate your kind words of encouragement and prayers. My best friend in another state has already been up for hours now, praying for me. Praise and thank God for friends like her and all of you. God is using His people to help me through this, and I do praise Him! After sending my letter (I'm doing it via e-mail) I'm heading up to the North Georgia mountains this morning to spend the rest of the weekend camping with my husband and some friends. So I'll be away now a couple of days. I'll fill you in in a few days about how it's going. Thanks again to you all! Love and prayers, Sammi (Carol) (P.S. The message from all of you, from my best friend, everywhere I look, from Almighty God Himself, is indeed that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. As long as we stay fixed on Him, we have nothing to fear. Again, I thank Him! and all of you.) | ||
| Sherry2 |
Prayers are with you, Sammi! :) Good job! | ||
| Colleentinker |
Sammi (Carol) and Doug, I am so happy to read of your decisions! I have been praying for you, and I am so happy that you are walking through the doors God is opening. Please let us know the results of your email, Carol! My father died last Monday, and his memorial service was Thursday. I want to thank all of you who have been praying for me and for my family. I have been aware of how the prayers of those who've known about my dad have held us up. God has given us joy and peace in the middle of sorrow. He gave us some wonderful moments with my dad during his last week, even though his ability to communicate was compromised. There were times when the room felt holy; we could feel God's presence with us. I am so GLAD that we know he is with the Lord! What a wonderful certainty. What a comfort it is! I praise God for how he works through and in each of us. He is so good! Praying for us all, Colleen | ||
| Lydell |
Oh Colleen, I'm so sorry for your loss. But so happy for you that you got to spend some time with him those last days. AND most of all, that you know he is safe with His Lord. It just makes you sit back and wonder, with a bit of jealousy, what they are seeing now, what they are doing, doesn't it? How is your mom doing so far? | ||
| Lydell |
Sammi (Carol), how was the trip? Make me drool. How gorgeous were the trees? The last time we went to the Smokies, we discovered, the second morning out that Hurricane Opal had turned and was about to make a dead run over our house, so we had to hurry home. The time before that we attempted to camp in October and nearly FROZE. Gee it was SO cold! I can't convince my husband to go back now. He says the mountains up that way are jinxed! North Georgia is so pretty. You must be in the south then? We are in the far southeastern corner of Alabama. | ||
| Windmotion |
Dear Sammi, please keep us updated as to the responses from your letter. For some reason I was unaware that you were still joined to the sda church. How many people in here are like that? I also wanted to update you who have been praying for my husband David. He has announced (again) that he is leaving the sda church, but this is the first time he has ever left Sabbathkeeping. He is studying Sabbath in Crisis (thank you Joni) and trying to prepare a statement of what he now believes to his sda mother who sadly believes her son is eternally lost. We went to church together Sunday, the first time in a long time. --Hannah | ||
| Colleentinker |
Hannah, I am so happy to read your post! How did your husband respond to church on Sunday? God knows exactly what aspects of truth to reveal in what order to each one of us. It's amazing! I'm thrilled that he's preparing a statement. That alone will clarify his understanding of what he's been learning. I understand about his mom. . . Lydell, my mom is pretty brittle right now. She is relieved that the long decline is over and she doesn't have to watch my dad continue to lose himself in front of her eyes. But I don't think she's begun to digest the reality of being without that focus of her attention. They had been married 50 years. Colleen | ||
| Sammi |
Oh Hannah - I'm so happy about your husband! So glad he's studying that book. Something else I recommend is Dale Ratzlaff's tape series "Whatever Happened to the Law?" - That helped me a lot, my husband (who is Baptist) listened to those about four times, he's been so great about trying to understand where I'm coming from, what I'm experiencing, etc. We're actually attending a church now with Methodist roots, a church that left the Methodist denomination due to their stand on homosexuality. Anyway, very side-tracked here, but I'VE DONE IT!!!!!! So far responses have not been terribly negative, but I know some are guarded at this point. My biggest concern is still my mother and how she's taking it, I wrote her and have not heard anything yet. Please pray for her. Hannah, like your mother-in-law, my mom will believe I'm "deceived" and "lost" also. So sad. Anyway, the mountains were wonderful, we were north of Dahlonega a ways. Perfect weekend for camping. (And yes Lydell, I remember Opal, came right over our house it seemed, I slept downstairs while the house shook. We were without power for 3 days, that was the worst of it.) I live in the Atlanta area (Mableton). We're taking our kids (older teens) to Gatlinburg this coming weekend for a 3-day weekend. Will spend the weekend in a hot tub overlooking the mountains, while the kids run around in town. Getting back to the responses, my senior pastor assured me (I had worked with him for eight years - church secretary) that I could become a Buddhist and he'd still love me. I've mentioned before, the particular church I belonged to (Marietta, Georgia) is much more open-minded, Christ-centered and not the typical SDA church. Anyway, he just cautioned me to stayed fixed on Jesus and I've assured him that's what I'm doing. Another one of the pastors was incredibly positive too, mostly just doesn't want our friendship to suffer. Haven't heard from the other pastors, our friends are shocked, but insist they also value our friendship - and won't let this come between us. I know at this point they're holding back, but so far it's not been too bad. They had noticed I'd been distancing myself for some months, and knew something wasn't right, so were actually kind of relieved that I've "come clean." The people I expect to react the most negatively are people I never had much in common with/never agreed with anyway, the real legalistic ones, I'm not too worried about those friendships suffering anyway (does that sound terrible?) Well, I tend to ramble. Doug, God bless you and good luck as you continue on your journey. Colleen, my prayers are with you and your family. My best friend's mother passed away a few weeks ago, she was practically a mother to me also, and knowing they are safe with Jesus gives us such incredible peace, doesn't it? Lydell, if ever in Atlanta let me know, ok? Thanks again to all of you, Sherri thanks for the friend you've been to me. I do feel like I need you all now more than ever. We love the church we've been attending, but the pastors there don't seem to know much about my background or about Adventism, I've been needing a "pastor" who understands. I don't know if this is the church where we will stay, we're letting God lead us, but for now we're being fed spiritually, the youth are numerous and "on fire" big time which I love for our kids, and it's a contemporary worship style which I love. Better run, love and prayers to you all. Carol ("Sammi") | ||
| Sammi |
P.S. Nate/Greg - you also have been very helpful, encouraging, and I've appreciated your prayers and support. As I mentioned above, I rcvd a very kind, sensitive response from my sr. pastor, which was nice. I expected him to be understanding, he's pretty open-minded, but it went better than I'd imagined. Lydell, I remember you saying you'd pray the Lord would bless me with some positive feedback, and He has done that - He is so faithful and awesome! One response I can't really go into was shockingly positive! Thomas, thanks for your prayers too, your advice to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, and not let myself be diverted by laws, traditions, etc., is a message that has kept coming at me throughout the past few days, in a number of ways. It's so cool when you so clearly hear Him and know He's leading. Praise Him! And bye again (I'm a little hyper, sorry.) | ||
| Sherry2 |
Windmotion, Praise the Lord!! I'm so excited and happy for you! That's wonderful that he's reading "Sabbath in Crisis"! How amazing! I'm thrilled for you too, Sammi! You might find that the responses change over time abit when they realize you're in this for the long haul. Friends expected me to come back in a month or two. My husband bided his time, expecting it to be just something I needed to get out of my system. Now that we're down the road, it's clearer to see who is still a friend and doesn't think I'm lost, and those who might "love" me but most assuradly feel I'm deceived. So just be cautious. Praise God for your hubby too! That's got to be wonderful. Love ya all! Sherry | ||
| Jay |
Collen, I am so sorry to hear that your dad is gone. I know that you and your mom will miss him greatly, especially because he was such a kind man. Thanks be to God for comforting you with His presence. Peace to you and to all of your family. Your friend in Christ, Jay. | ||
| Doug222 |
Colleen, Allow me to add my condolences. My father passed away a little over three years ago under similar circumstances. Your Mom will definitely need your support during this period. Just keep encouraging her. My mom was pretty much a mess for that first year. She had never imagined life without her husband. However, God is faithful, and he has taken her to new heights spiritually through the experience. As trying as it may be at times, just be patient with her and what she is going through. Also, make sure you take care of yourself during this time as well. God Bless. Doug | ||
| Joni |
Dear Colleen, So sorry about your loss. We will continue to pray for you and your loved ones. I know how it is to loose a parent. My Mother passed away 3 years ago and my Father who is 86 still misses her dearly. They were married for 67 years. We also had her in my home with Hospice. The neat thing is that now my Dad is reading his Bible and talking to me about God. May you be blessed and a strong tower for your family. In Christ Jesus who brings love and healing. Joni | ||
| Colleentinker |
Thank you, Joni, Doug, and Carol! I can tell people have been praying; I can't explain the peace that we and my mom have been experiencing any other way. Thank you for your insight, Doug, about the first year and being patient. I needed to read that right now. I am so thankful for everyone here! Praise God for how he loves us through each other! Thank you all for allowing his love to flow through you. Colleen |
