| Author | Message | ||
| Trippllb (Trippllb) |
Hi guys, I need to ask for your prayer. I'm too tired or just too exhausted to go into all of the details, but I'm overwhelmed with where life is taking me. Something is happening to my husband and he's taken an extended 3 week vacation where he just sits on the couch and takes no responsibility for anything. That includes showing up for work! This isn't a typical wife griping that her husband doesn't help out around the house, this is me freaking out because he's checked out of everything. He agreed to see a councelour because he knows something isn't right, but I'm exhausted. I'm out of work, our financial picture is bleak, he's given up showing up to run his business so I'm having to step in and do it, and home life is tough. I just need your prayers. You know that first part of Amos that talks about the locust, then the creeping locust....well there's my week in a nutshell. Even if Sabbath isn't a requirement anymore, thank God for Friday's! Thanks. | ||
| Sherry2 (Sherry2) |
Trippllb, please find out if in your area there are any clinics that have an inservice with psychiatrists available. Your husband sounds like he might be in clinical depression. I went through it once. Not a picnic, but one step at a time holding God's hands it can be overcome. But professional help (preferably Christian counselors) is a must. Let me know what happens. | ||
| Colleentinker (Colleentinker) |
Trippllb, I echo Sherry's concern. Do try to see if you can find a good Christian mental health professional. Your husband does need intervention. I've noticed that when people begin to deal with Adventism, it usually stirs up a lot of deeply concealed "stuff" from their lives. Somehow the deception of Adventism, even though we didn't know it was a deception, played into self-deception in our families. In A LOT of our lives, really unhealthy family systems hid behind the outer perfection and tight-lipped secrecy supported by Adventism. Since in Adventism there is no grounding in real, objective truth, people can play the same rationalizing games to explain their destructive family relationships that they use to explain their spurious interpretations of scripture. When truth begins to light the darkness, there is often a reflexive resistance to adapting to the light. I'm convinced that spiritual insight is equally necessary in dealing with depression as is objective psychological insight. They must go together. I'll pray that you can find the right person for your husband to see, and you might eventually find that you'll benefit from going with him after a while. I'll also pray that God will be your strength and support. Love, Colleen | ||
| Sabra (Sabra) |
Trippllb, I will pray for you. What is the deal with all of these marital problems? Keep your faith in Jesus and know that He will work it all for good. Sabra | ||
| Sherry2 (Sherry2) |
Satan just sure hates marriage - it echos the "covenant relationship" God has with us, and if he destroys our earthly marriages, what model does the world have of God's unconditonal love and the truthfulness of an everlasting covenant - eternal security....my thoughts on it. We need to lift each other in prayer about that, I think regularly. | ||
| Jtree (Jtree) |
Sherry, your right! Satan also hates your marriage to Christ as well. :-) Recently I listened to an EXCELLENT series called, Fighting the Noble war (against Satan/Spiritual warfare) http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/grace_to_you/Archives.asp Real audio and worth the listening! I want to say, I was "eye opened" to some real truth, that sort of relates to why we are here in this forum. YBIC Joshua | ||
| Trippllb (Trippllb) |
Thanks everyone for your prayers. I hate to wait this long to give you an update. Friday was just one of those 'pile on' days when you feel like your the one at the bottom of the pile trying to hang onto the football. Friday was just a sheer act of desperation after handling all I could handle. Sherry, my husband has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. His mom died about 1.5 years ago and never took the time to grieve. There are family estate issues, business issues, and now unemployment issues. I think he just shut down. He has entered counceling with a woman who is a Christian but is not a 'Christian Councelour' per say. I went with him for his first visit and was pleased with her. He's continuing to see her. Colleen, I agree that depression needs to be faced on the spiritual front as well a the psychological front. His depression isn't about leaving Adventism as he was never an Adventist. In fact, he stood behind me when I was freaking out when the rug got pulled out from under me when I started to realize certain truths about the church. He was born and raised a Lutheran, but was never active other than as a little boy. He believes in Christ, and I firmly believe he is saved, but he's at a different point in his walk with Christ than I am. I do, however, believe that Christ is working in his life to force him to trust him. Sometime it takes being in a pit to appreciate the light at the top. I'm doing much better with everything now. Our marriage is solid and I don't anticipate that changing. Friday was just one of those days when you have nothing left and just have to call for help. Thanks for all your prayers. Keep them coming, because we really do need them. On a lighter note, I know without a doubt that Gods hand is moving in all of this. I don't know exactly what he is doing, or where he is taking me, but he is working in both of our lives. | ||
| Colleentinker (Colleentinker) |
Tripplbb, Thank you for updating us. I'm so glad to hear your husband's seeing a counselor. I really do believe that if we don't run away from the anguish that hits our lives, God redeems it and reveals himself to us in amazing new ways. I'll continue to pray for you and him. I'm also praying for you and your husband, Sabra. In Him, Colleen | ||
| Sabra (Sabra) |
Glad to hear that Tripplbb, Best to you both. Thank you for all of your prayers, unfortunately, I don't have any good news at this time. My husband is "out there" for whatever reason. Strangely enough, it is so peaceful in my house and I count it as a blessing that he isn't here right now. Still praying for wisdom in what to do, I feel like God has told me that I should have asked Him what He thought before I just went and remarried him. My best friend has had to buy us groceries and she pretty much told me that God has sent me plenty of people to help me from the trouble that my husband brings and I still continue to stay in a mess. I just wanted all along to do the best for the children, but I'm not so sure he is having a good influence on them when he can't seem to stick to any commitments, responsibilities or promises. I'm trusting in God for whatever He has in store for me and I feel an enormous sense of confidence that I can face whatever results from this and that I am a stronger person for my faith in Him. If any of you feels a word, please speak it! Basically, the whole relationship has been dysfunctional from the beginning and my prior co-dependency made me feel responsible. I no longer feel responsible or culpable for my husbands actions. That is a wonderful feeling. I finally don't feel "guilty" if he screws up his life, which he is doing a great job of. Praising God for strength!! Sabra | ||
| Lydell (Lydell) |
Sabra, it strikes me that perhaps the one thing you should do is make sure that you are protected legally from any of his screwups, whatever that may entail. Lydell | ||
| Colleentinker (Colleentinker) |
Praise God for your strength! Without knowing any details, I tend to agree with Lydell about being sure you are legally protected. I'll pray that God will help you to know what you should do and that he will send people into your life that you need. Colleen | ||
| Sabra (Sabra) |
Funny you should mention thath! I have been praying for some good christian friends, most of my friends live an hour or two away, and just last week a lady from my Sunday School class came up out of the blue and asked if I needed a friend to call her anytime (I haven't said much about my husband except that he travels a lot and hasn't wanted to come to church for the past few weeks) and then just last night another girl, about my age called and asked if I wanted to have lunch Friday. God is surely in charge in my life!  Thank you all for your prayers! | ||
| Sherry2 (Sherry2) |
That is great news, Sabra. You are trusting Him and He is supplying your needs. Praise the Lord for that. God bless. | ||
| Trippllb (Trippllb) |
I have an unusual prayer request. A good friend of mine invited me to attend a prayer/worship service at the local SDA church one Friday night about 6 months ago. She is a member of the choir, and they gather together before practice to share the things that touched them that week, read scripture, and pray as a group. I was completely against attending, but I felt so impressed to attend that I decided to check it out one evening. I have been consistently praying for a church home and asking Christ to put me where he wanted me, and this opportunity kept coming up over and over. My only ground rules for attending were that it was Christ only, traditional SDA beliefs were not preached, nobody mentions EGW, we stay centered on Christ, and I'm in. Well, so far, so good. The group ranges from 3 to 15 people each week. I am not the only 'non-Adventist' in the group. There is also a wonderful spirit filled man who is a Baptist who attends. But other than the two of us, everybody else is Adventist. There is something interesting happening in the group though. It's been getting smaller and smaller each week as the church experiences some sort of internal turmoil. The folks who are sticking it out seem to be so filled with the holy spirit and overflowing with their love for Christ. Last night there were 5 people in the group and it was one of the most wonderful experiences I have ever had. I felt the spirit moving in the room. The neat thing about it was it was a 3/2 SDA to non-SDA ratio. There are no doctrinal debates, occasionally I hear something like 'Thank you for the start of your Sabbath' during someone's prayers, but I don't see that as preaching. They are just saying what is in their heart to their Lord. Well, I feel like I am there for a reason. About 2 months ago the term 'non-Adventist' was used. I told the friend who originally invited me how offensive the term is. I actually wrote her a letter because I was so affected by hearing it. She returned my letter by saying that she had never thought about the term that way. That everyone in that group was struggling with casting off many of the stigmas related with being a legalistic SDA and that many are still learning grace. The told me she had never thought about it but that although she was not the offending party, she would try to remember next time she was tempted to use the term. I think she went back and told the lady who leads the group, because something seems to have changed. Next Friday night, the Baptist man in the group is going to be in a Good Friday choral performance at his church. The members have been invited to attend, and I'm hearing wispers that many are planning on attending. I truly see the hand of God moving in this group and the people that attend are very Christ-centered and spirit filled individuals. I think neat things are happening there. I don't know exactly what my role is. I put it before God each week before I go, and just keep attending. My criteria is the same, no EGW, no preaching, and nothing but the Bible. So far so good. Please pray that if there is some way for me to spread the truth of the gospel message to these folks that the holy spirit will impress upon me when the opportunity is in front of me. I am so dense sometimes that I don't see the opportunity to speak his name boldly until it has passed me by. Pray for the folks in the group as well. That the Lords will is what will prevail in each of their lives. | ||
| Snowdove (Snowdove) |
Trippllb I have to praise the Lord for putting you where you are, for He has a great plan for that small group. I will keep you and the group in my prayers. I know He will guide you in all that you do and you will speak Boldly His Name. May His Spirit continue to guide you to all His truth Love Sherri | ||
| Sabra (Sabra) |
Trippllb, I believe you have a divine appointment! Glory! I will pray for the power and knowledge of the Holy Spirit to guide the study group. I got invited to a study group tonight too. It is a church start that has grown from 8 to 30 people in 9 weeks. They study one chapter at a time and are in Luke 13. I knew the Lord wanted me there and when we got to the parable of the fig tree, where the vineyard owner wanted to cut down the tree that had not beared fruit in three years and the keeper said,please, leave it alone one more year, let me fertilize it and then if it doesn't produce fruit you can cut it down, I felt like He wanted me to let Him work on my husband a little more before I give up on him. I don't know for sure but another friend told me if you don't get a direct answer from God, the answer is wait. Keep praying for the situation to reveal God's will. Thanks, Sabra | ||
| Trippllb (Trippllb) |
Wow! A divine appointment? I had never thought of it like that before. Then again 2 years ago I wouldn't have told you I was saved with any confidence and I wouldn't have told you that he would come to this earth to save me if I was the only one either. Sometimes you want to run back to that litle corner from a few years ago when I was so insignificant that I was just a little piece of the big picture instead of being an active part of painting the big picture. Thanks for the reminder. I think you may be right Sabra. Many times we tend to want to run ahead of God doing things in his name when he never sent us to do to begin with. I don't know the particulars of your marriage or the struggles you face each day. But I do know the strong words that the Bible has on protecting it the bonds of marriage. Unless you feel you've received an absolute answer from the Lord, the answer probably is wait. I think that he puts us (LOL...or allows us to put ourselves) into tough situations to strengthen us. While he is teaching your husband to just look at him, he may be teaching you to listen to his voice before going ahead and trust him for the answers. My poor husband is worrying himself silly over our financial problems, but through the grace of God I am calm in the process. If my husband wonders even once 'how' I can be so calm in this storm, then the Lord can take that tiny opportunity that I had a small part in creating and run with it. I think that's a big part of us being his tools on this earth. It's easy to submerge yourself in the word and understand what your reading, but the tough part comes when you have to come back out into the world and become an example of what you've learned. It's the tough lessons like not lashing back when someone hurts you, or not running ahead when the Lord hasn't told you to move yet, and trusting him to handle the situation when you see no way to fix it that make the words you read each morning come alive and gives the holy spirit another opening to work in your life. I think that our weakness in being those examples in the real world is where the spirit helps to take up the slack, doing damage control and gently guiding us in ways we can improve. | ||
| Colleentinker (Colleentinker) |
You are so right, Tripplbb! The problem is living with real people and putting into practice the truths we receive with such joy when we study alone! I'll pray for your study group, Tripplbb, and Sabra, I think you also received an answer from God for right now. I continue to pray for you and your husband as well. In Jesus, Colleen | ||
| Lucias (Lucias) |
When it rains it pours. I work in a standard secular office environment. I had a very amazing day today. I was rather surprised when a co-worker announced she hoped this pizza served at work tomorrow, Friday, was either cheese or veggie and not pepperoni or meatlovers. I said why you don't observe lent and she said she had started. She is not Christian much less Catholic and I was somewhat amused at this. She said she started doing it a while back and it is the only thing religious that she does. She doesn't know why she does it. Over the past couple years we have had maybe 3 conversations about the spiritual realities of life. She wonders what comes next after we pass. She is seeking. In her way observing lent is a little step. Putting your foot in the water, if you will, to see how it is. In our discussion she said she often wondered if Jesus was alive today would he still teach the same things and believe the same things as he used to. Given that so much has changed. She is reacting to things like silly behaviorial rules, eat this, don't eat that, birth control is ok or is it bad, all the things of Christian, not SDA, controversy. I said one sentence "I think he would but I don't think many of these things are what he taught at all." As I said that another fellow walked up and our conversation immediately died. I believe in giving an answer to him who asks but not in bludgeoning unsuspecting people. His question was work related. I answered it and then the Friday pizza/lent topic came back up somehow. This fellow then said he was thinking of breaking his silence and going to church this weekend. His parents call him every Sunday morning at 6:00 am to ask him if he would please come to church. They have done this for years, every week, every Sunday morning. He said he was thinking about going this year. I was able to encourage him that he should do this, to make his parents happy. It would be a really nice thing to do. Please pray for this fellow, that he will go back to church if only to please his parents. Please pray for his parents that they will never give up. Please pray for my coworker that she will continue to seek. Please pray for me that I will always be prepared to give an answer to him who asks. And thank God that something as simple as a pizza lunch while we meet our new department leader was able to provide opportunity for Christianity. | ||
| Carol_2 (Carol_2) |
amen! i will keep these matters in prayer this weekend. love and prayers to all, carol |
