| Author | Message | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 1963 Registered: 11-2002 |
I want each of you to know I keep your special needs in my prayers. And, there is no prayer request that God doesn't care about. Now I am asking once again for your prayers. My 19 year old son has Tourette Syndrome and paroind schetzpherena. One mental health worker says he sociopath but I don't believe that because I do see caring and empathy in him once in awhile. However, it was just getting too stressful at home with him so I brought him out here 3,000 miles away planning to get him set up and then ditch him and go home. If he comes home at least he'll be in jail for a few months to a year because he has warrents out on him at home. Now he says he'd rather be in jail at home than have his freedom and a good life here. I just am not up to the stress of him being at home anymore. He's a slob and every rifraf between 15 and 25 he lets in. I'll come home and the house is packed in malcontents. I tell him and his friends no smoking in the house. If I'm not there they smoke in the house. They'll use my good dishes for ash trays. I tell them they can smoke on the balcony but to use the ash tray I have on the table out there. They put their butts on the floor. He's bulemic. He can make himself throw up on mental command. He thinks that proves he has greater mental disaplin than anyone because no one else we know can do that. He throws up numerous times per day. I'm tried of it and I'm weary of it. For 18 years now I've worked my life around meeting his appointments and trying to supervise him at home. For an entire year every week except for missing two weeks I made a 500 mile trip to the mental health facility he was in for our family therapy. I was making the trip in one day but then the mental health lady told me mental health would pay for a motel for two times per month. That was alot better. As a minor he was in and out of juvenile hall and group homes numerous times. Since age 18 he's been in jail four times. Now he has an opportunity to make a good life for himself and he says he's coming home, he'd rather be in jail at home than have his freedom here. I was up nearly all night having an anxiety attack thinking about him coming home. My heart pounded, I was sweating profusly and my thoughts were racing. Please, help us wqith your prayers. When he gets out of jail and comes home I'll probably leave and I won't come back. I'm weary and I'm worn down. I don't want to schedule my life around the meetings of a 20 year old (he'll be 20 soon). I'm tired of going to jail to see him. I'm tired of cleaning up after him. I'm tired of him visiting nearly daily with invisable people. The only time he is pleasant to be around is when he's on weed. I hope he can get a weed perscription when he gets out and then just stay high all day and all night but I think county probation doesn't acknowledge the medical use of weed so once again it'll be a miserable time being with him. Occassionally I see a delightful persom emerging and I get my hopes up. So far those times have been in short duration. There's not much I can do about it on my own We need Divine intervention 100%. Thank-you all so much. BTW, it is was worse than I've mentioned. I've only scratched the service in this post. Thanks. | ||
| Melissa Registered user Username: Melissa Post Number: 1094 Registered: 7-2003  |
Susan, you've endured more than I did, longer than I did, but I made the choice several years ago Rachel couldn't live at home. I had other kids to consider and I just couldn't deal with all of it. You are not a bad mother or anything else if you let your son live with the consequences of his choices. Rachel's retarded. I know about the capacity thing, but you have to take care of you too. You give of yourself for you sons, for your mom...don't feel bad to say "enough". I will most definately pray for you. You have made sacrifices for your son I could never imagine having to make for my daughter. That says a lot about your love for him. But it sounds as though he's beyond your control. You must be an incredible woman to have endured all the heartache and hard times you have, yet still keep giving and even enjoying a sense of humor too. Please be open to the idea that God can handle it. My daughter's foster family is an incredible God-send. And it took a long time to completely let go. Take care of yourself. | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 1966 Registered: 11-2002 |
Thank-you so much Melissa. Your prayers and kind words mean a lot to me. I cannot make him move. My parents own the house we live in and they were well aware many years ago that I have children with special needs and the idea of them having that house built for us was so their grandchildren would always have a home to come home to. So, if I need to escapt the chaos then I'm the one who wil have to leave. | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 2670 Registered: 12-2003  |
Susan, I will pray that God will give you the strength to allow your son to reap the consequences of his own choices and for you to set appropriate boundaries. Melissa's advice above comes from a heart that has hurt in many ways as yours has, and her words are wise. Your son is mentally ill. If he is not willing to participate in his own recovery by taking his meds, etc., you should not allow him in your home. If he would rather be in prison than independent in Hawaii, that desire is probably born out of the fact that he KNOWS his condition is beyond his control. Left alone, he will decompnsate. He would not eat, he would not medicate himself, he would not hold a job--and he knows it. I think his words indicate a desire for some power bigger than himself to manage his life. Unfortuantely, you cannot force him to get help. You can only set boundaries around yourself and your home. Although it feels unbelievably painful, you must let him reap the consequences of his choices, and part of those consequences are that he cannot bring his life into your home. His only hope of ever getting his mental illness under control is for him to hit bottom. God does not expect you to destroy yourself by enabling him to live destructively. As Melissa said, "God can handle it." He knows what your son needs, and you can trust Him with him. God is caring for both of youóand He wants you to surrender your son to Him and to surrender your own efforts to Him. He is in control! Praying for you. Colleen | ||
| Patrickfoy Registered user Username: Patrickfoy Post Number: 28 Registered: 3-2004  |
Father God, we pray today that you will bring the peace of the Spirit into Shontay's life. That she will feel His work in her life and know that she is not alone. We pray that she hear your voice and know that you are with her and that the problems that she faces today are the victories that you will bring her tomorrow. In you Lord, we have the peace and the love and your light to guide us through anything. We know that pain, sorrow and hurting is not of you. Father walk with our friend Shontay, give her strength.We ask these things in Jesus' wonderful name -Amen Shontay- The stress that you are experiencing can be danerous and should be dealt with through professional means.I have felt the way you are feeling! I hope that you will follow Stan's advise. Remember that you are never alone. All of the beautiful people here are with you in prayer and support, so am I and so is the Lord, always. John 16:33 Praying for you everyday Patrick | ||
| Patrickfoy Registered user Username: Patrickfoy Post Number: 29 Registered: 3-2004 |
Lord God- please touch this family. Father we ask that if it be Your will, that You will help Susan find a solution as to what to do with her son. We know that You are able and that if we have faith, that You will intervene and guide us in Your way. Father we give you thanks and all the glory. In Jesus' name we pray-Amen Susan- what you have wrote about is more them most could stand. I could not imagine having to endure more then that. I have added you to my prayer list and pray that the Lord will guide you in the way that would best help you solve your crisis. It is so heart breaking. I have a son that is in prison. He also has mental problems and that is what put him where he is at. I feel for you and know that the Lord will help you do what you need to do. If you ever need to talk, I am here. God Bless Patrick | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 1967 Registered: 11-2002 |
Here's what it like: We are camping out in the wqilderness. He's been insisting there are cameras in the trees in the forrest. At home he put blankets over all the windows so the governmant agents can't spy on us. I took the blankets right down and told him he could go into his bedroom and put a blanket over that window but nowhere in the house are we not going to let the sun shine in. Our local phone company is SBC, I think that stands for Souteran Bell Cooperation. He insists it stands for Spy Battalian Crew and when we're on the phone they are the agency that spys on us through the phone. He takes a particular psycharactic medicine. I won't name it because I don't want to give anyone ideas. Anyway, I probably know at least 20 people who take this particular medicine, crush it and snort it. They all insist they get the same effects from it as cocaine but when their probation agents test them of course they don't test positive for illegial drugs. It just sometimes wears on my emotions. We are going to the zoo for the day. That should be a nice diversion. Thanks for the prayers, I appriciate it. | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 1889 Registered: 3-2004  |
Susan, I agree with Colleen. Your son needs to see what happens when he is on his own without Mom to fall back on. Have you ever checked out the "Tough Love" program. It is very good. It sounds to me like you could use it. Of course I continue to pray for you and your sons. God is holding you in His arms at this moment. He is so awesome. Diana | ||
| Patrickfoy Registered user Username: Patrickfoy Post Number: 30 Registered: 3-2004 |
Susan, there is only one way that you are going to be able to deal with this and that is to get help through an orgainzation that will treat him, state or otherwise. There is no other way and no easy way as you already know. You have to do what is best for you and him.I agree with everyone here and it is time to make some difficult choices. Remember that you have good friends and a great God behind you. Patrick | ||
| Melinda Registered user Username: Melinda Post Number: 34 Registered: 2-2005 |
Susan, you are in my thoughts and prayers! Melinda | ||
| Jeremy Registered user Username: Jeremy Post Number: 1000 Registered: 10-2004  |
I have another prayer request for Tiny, the sweet (formerly feral) kitten.  He's supposed to get neutered tomorrow, but he's had problems, we think respiratory (might be from the mold in this house), and so they're going to examine him first and see if they think he can handle the anesthesia/neutering. Please pray that he'll be able to handle it, or if he can't that they'll know that he shouldn't undergo it. Thanks, Jeremy | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 1908 Registered: 3-2004 |
Your cat is in my prayers, Jeremy. God loves our animals also. Diana | ||
| Pheeki Registered user Username: Pheeki Post Number: 665 Registered: 1-2003 |
I have an urgent prayer request. I can't tell you what it is at this moment...just know that my family is in "big time" crisis (no one is dying or anything...) and we need prayers TODAY...for all to be well. I will explain later. | ||
| Mrsbrian3 Registered user Username: Mrsbrian3 Post Number: 14 Registered: 8-2005 |
Done. Hang in there. God will lead, provide, accomplish all that we ask in His name! | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 2696 Registered: 12-2003 |
Praying, Pheeki--- Praise God the Holy Spirit intercedes for us! Colleen | ||
| Helovesme2 Registered user Username: Helovesme2 Post Number: 305 Registered: 8-2004  |
Praying Pheeki! Mary | ||
| Riverfonz Registered user Username: Riverfonz Post Number: 903 Registered: 3-2005 |
Father, I just pray right now that your Spirit will intercede for Pheeki's family, and that in any storm, you are our Anchor. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen Stan | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 1911 Registered: 3-2004 |
God, You know what is needed by Pheeki's family. As Stan said, may you be the Anchor in any storm. Thank you God. You are awesome. Diana | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 1989 Registered: 11-2002 |
Pheeki, I trust whatever was wrong has been set on the right track. Jeremy, I hope Tiny can get nutered. If he can't then you might end up with kittens in a year or so. Patrick, Thanks for the care as well as the advice. Diana, I will never get involved in the Tough Love Program. I personally know two families who did the Tough Love Program and ended up losing their adult children to sucide. The whole concept of that program seems so wrong to me. Now for a prayer request. For me for safe travel. I bought my ticket home. I'll be leaving Thursday. And, please keep in your prayers the two sons that I'm leaving here. Thanks so much. | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 1913 Registered: 3-2004 |
Susan, You and your family are in my prayers every day. God is holding you and all your family in his hands. Call me when you return. Diana |
