| Author | Message | ||
| Jtree (Jtree) |
GLOSSARY OF NORTH-AMERICAN SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTISTS Compiled by Max Gordon Phillips ADDVENTISTS Add Egwhite rules and regs to denom life. Example: After church you may take a Sabbath dayís journey to a lake, river, or ocean and wade -- but not swim BADVENTISTS Eat burgers, clam chowder seasoned with black pepper, hot dogs with yellow mustard. Wear rings (ear, eyebrow, finger, nipple, nose, toe, or tongue), necklaces, bracelets, makeup. Drink coffee, tea, cola, white wine. Play checkers, chess and real cards instead of Rook. Ride bicycles. Dance line-, square-, contra-, or ballroom. Attend opera, movies, rock concerts, live stage theater. You name it. CADVENTISTS Believe, preach and teach, but donít live Adventism CLADVENTISTS Have ìput on the whole armor ofî Egwhite (see Eph. 6:11) COCOADVENTISTS Think chocolateís less sinful than coffee since it boasts less caffein COMRADVENTISTS Aging former Pathfinders who date back to the ìgood oldî days before the Soviet Socialist revolution in Russia created the C-word CURADVENTISTS Put band-aids on cancers CYCADVENTISTS Have retired to Palm Springs DADVENTISTS Full of ìheadship theologyî and patriarchy, they raise Ladventists DYADVENTISTS Marrieds whoíve managed to remain so for forty years or more EGADVENTISTS Use ìGuy!î "tinkled-off," ìscared witless,î ìBullspit!î and other euphemisms FADVENTISTS Frequently switch from one health (hell?) food -- such as Phony Baloney or Mock Turkey -- to another. Have switched allegiance from Morrie Venden (the SDA ìMartin Lutherî) to Doug Batchelor (of ìAmazing Fiction!î fame). Carry the NIV instead of the KJV. Attend celebration church where they engage in Psalm 150:4 dancing . . . . GADVENTISTS As part of the Advent Movement, they scuttle about among various local congregations GLADVENTISTS Apparently masochists, since they seem to enjoy the lifelong pain of carrying the heavy load they refuse to let Jesus Christ lift. GRADVENTISTS SDA Church alumni who hold the RA degree. They have learned, for instance, that the Clear Word Bible is 100% Egwhite. GRRRADVENTISTS Hadventists, Jihadventists, Kickadventists, Madventists, Schmadventists, Vladventists, and whatnot. Unusually vocal, theyíre the ones who put the VENT in AdVENTism HADVENTISTS Have had it with Adventism. Many hold the RA (Recovering Adventist) degree. JIHADVENTISTS ìHoly warriorsî who want Jesus to come soon and destroy all their enemies KICKADVENTISTS A type of Grrradventist, they kick anybody within leg reach -- whether Adventist or not LADVENTISTS FDAs (Future Dadventists of America) MADVENTISTS Envy Badventists MCADVENTISTS Plaidventists MECCADVENTISTS PIs (Pilgrim Immigrants) to Loma Linda, Silver Spring, College Place, Berrien Springs, St. Helena, Collegedale, La Sierra, and the like MICADVENTISTS Wear cheap jewelry thinking if itís not as expensive as the real thing must not be as evil MOCHADVENTSTS Believe caffeine at Starbucks is less sinful than caffeine at home NASDADVENTISTS National Association of SDA Dentists (NASDAD-VENTISTS), all-SDA dentists who meet after the annual ADA (American Dental Association) meeting for a prayer breakfast and a dentistry-update class permitting the entire trip to be written off their taxable incomes PACKADVENTISTS Fill convention centers to hear Doug Batchelor tell his cave conversion story PADVENTISTS Committed to Sabbath-afternoon "lay activitiesî PAPADVENTISTS Push for the SDA ìFirst Ministerî (GC Pres) to come out of the closet and proclaim himself Pope of the emerging SDA Papacy PLAIDVENTISTS McAdventists RADVENTISTS Liberal Adventists, often confused with Badventists ROCCADVENTISTS Ignore Egwhiteís anti-sugar counsel SADVENTISTS Non-Gladventists SCADVENTISTS As HAís (Historical/Hysterical Adventists), they burden themselves down with Egwhite ìscads of addsî (see Addventists) SCHMADVENTISTS Fed-up formers or jumpy-grumpys who label as ìAdventist Schmadventist!î anything even remotely connected with Adventism TADVENTISTS Dabble or toy with Adventism TOSCADVENTISTS Hold season tickets to the opera TRIADVENTISTS Such as Ben Trying of Battle Creek, Michigan, theyíre still hoping to stand perfect and sinless before God ó on the merit of their own good works and utterly without Christ VLADVENTISTS As in Vlad the Impaler, Egwhite vampires who take the lifeblood out of all other Adventists | ||
| Denisegilmore (Denisegilmore) |
Now, that is the newest and final revision it seems. I was very happy to see this in the works getting ready for publishing! Sure says it all, doesn't it?  Good for you Max!! It's a masterpiece! Love in Christ, your sister always and forever, Denise aka DtB | ||
| Jtree (Jtree) |
I was looking at Askjeeves.com the other day, someone suggested long ago just type in SDA cult..and low and behold my long time no see on here friend, Jude wrote a response to something I stated requarding the Adventist..and this was a reply to me earlier this year...I really miss my friend Max. Joshua of the Rock! | ||
| Bob (Bob) |
I must disagree with you about the effect of Max's essay, posted above. While it is a clever play on words, the overall effect of it is to heap hostile ridicule on SDAs. The purpose of this website is to share Biblical truth and our personal experience in following truth as it led us out of Adventist doctrinal error. I think we hurt our cause when we give sincere, searching SDAs a reason to think our intention is sarcasm and anger! | ||
| Jtree (Jtree) |
You just don't know Jude the Obscure.... He pulls no punches... | ||
| Denisegilmore (Denisegilmore) |
JTree, I miss Max too....  |
