| Author | Message | ||
| Bob Holland |
I think it would be spiritually helpful to those who are currently in transition from Seventh-day Adventism for this forum to entertain discussion about the horrific and crippling fears that inevitably arise when an SDA seriously contemplates leaving the denomination. This fear is an outgrowth of the indoctrination that all SDA members have had in what equates to salvation by virtue of their membership in the denomination, the so-called "remnant church." I know many SDAs, some in positions of pastoral or lay leadership, who privately have admitted to me that they do not believe in some of the "key" SDA doctrines, yet their obvious fear of leaving the SDA church leads them to live an intellectual and spiritual lie before their parishioners and fellow church members! Such dishonesty alone is enough to erode the spiritual life of a church. It is not surprising that there is so little spiritual vitality evident in most SDA congregations which(although they may not know it!) are relying upon such compromised church leaders. I was an SDA member for over thirty years. When I left the denomination, I myself felt this fear so strongly that for the next ten years, I could not bring myself to attend a non-SDA church. I still "hung around the edges" of Adventism, even though I was clearly convinced by Scripture that Adventism was full of doctrinal and spiritual error! I experienced "flashbacks" and the disturbing replaying of the old familiar SDA "tapes" in my mind. Immobilizing fear! 2 Tim. 1:7 says in part, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity [the KJV says "spirit of fear"],but a spirit of power. . ." If God is not the One who imparts the fear of believing and obeying the clear teachings of the New Testament -- regardless of the social, religious and employment consequences -- then from what source may we conclude such fear comes? | ||
| maggieb |
Bob, I'm very glad you brought up this topic! It's very difficult to talk about the psychological effects Adventism had on me, but I think I am probably not an isolated case. Your terms, "horrific and crippling fears", tell me that I am not alone. I wonder how many others are in a closet of fear and shame? Another problem for me was that is seemed that Adventism "owned" the Bible--it seemed like an SDA manifesto for many years to me. I was told that by rejecting the Testimonies, I had given my mind over to Satan. There seemed to be no ground left to stand on, socially or spiritually. (For a time, I even had to concentrate on walking physically, so shaky was the ground under my feet.) I imagine my case is extreme on the bell curve. I hope so. Maggie | ||
| maggieb |
Bob--one more thing--you mentioned "flashbacks" and "immobilizing fear". Wow. Does anyone else think they may have some form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from leaving Adventism? I sure do. Maggie | ||
| nancy |
I've been scrolling through the different subjects and I'm sitting at my computer with my mouth opened and dropped. I thought me and my husband were the only ones on planet earth (especially me) that experienced the guilt, flashbacks, anger, resentment and wondering about the what if's or have I made a mistake. My husband is totally and 100% ok with his feelings but I still have a hard time even though I have been shown differently and have such a relief. We've been married for 28 years and he came into the church through me because most of my family are SDA's so it was not big deal with him. He was searching himself and I knew there would be no way I could venture out and study elsewhere. 4 years ago about, we left knowing what the results would be and we are still getting the cold shoulder from my two older brothers whom will not have anything to do with my husband because he told them to their face that we were in a cult among other things. Real christians, uh!! My mother is 83 and I lost my 89 year old father last November and it has been very hard but I will never go back. The events leading up to our leaving was we were so tired of the back-biting, being called on the carpet about any little thing and mostly EGWhite. And we talk about the Catholics. She is their idol. My mother always seem to talk about the "sabbath" so she can plant her little seed but I totally ignore her. I hate the feeling that has been left to me. Not one person called to at least say Hey, we love you guys and we'll be praying for you. No we were shunned like you wouldn't believe and that's ok. It just makes me more determined to not get sucked back into that spiritual abuse. They think we are totally lost!! My husband was head elder and I played the organ in the church and they treated us like we were lepers. My husband got ahold of The White Lie, Sabbath in Crisis and many other books because he wanted to be sure in his mind about the Sabbath and other issues that he had been trained himself to attach other people with. He was so mad when he found out the truth about EGWhite and her plagerism. I could go on and on but sounds like everything I've read is basically what we have been through and more. I'm still growing and reading even though fear still creeps into my life everyday. I just have this fear of being lost because of the sabbath issue and trying to live up to something I can't. I guess that's why I have such a horror of death because I'm afraid of being lost. I want to study into depth on that. Someone maybe can help me other than my husband because I need to hear it from others. I guess I just need to be reasured. Thank You everyone for your testimonials. I'm not alone!! Nancy | ||
| maggieb |
Nancy, good to hear from you. I especially noted your words, "spiritual abuse" and "shunning", which I identify with, as well. God knows how many families this corrupt organization has torn apart. Maggie | ||
| maggieb |
Jim Moyers is a former SDA, now a psychotherapist practicing in the Berkeley area. Following are links to two articles on his web site: Resources for Members & Former Members of Restrictive Religious Groups Leaving the Garden: On Becoming An Ex-Adventist Maggie | ||
| David |
What I have found about most SDA who have had the misfortune to have been raised in the denomination is the great FEAR they have in leaving when they discover the contradictions of the SDA position and the Bible position. Our beliefs truly do root themselves in our subconscious, the result of which is a "spiritual vertigo" when we find them to be false beliefs. As a flight instructor, I can tell you that if a person does not believe what the flight instruments are telling him, then your mind will be confused by the sensations of the aircraft attitude and the result will be an uncontrolled castastrophe like the JFK jr. crash. So it is in the spiritual realm. When we focus exclusively on what we previously held to be truth and lose faith in it, the result can be an uncommand spinning out of control and out of the presence of God. Unfortuately, many SDA have no other spiritual frame of reference apart from the views of the SDA denomination. What this means is that a generational SDA is closer to spinning out of control than a Christian who entered the denomination from outside, but who realizes that God was working in His life before he was an SDA. Such persons, like myself, eventually come to our senses, backtrack to where we were prior to our error, repent, and then move forward with Jesus. Sometimes you have to go backwards to go forwards. What all of this means is that as a SDA who desires to move on with God, you must start where you are. There is no backtracking for you, so to speak. The good news is that God is waiting for you right now, where you are. He is waiting for you to repent of your errors and to claim the salvation that He has freely offered to you with no strings attached. He wants to be your Teacher and for you to throw yourself upon His mercy with the assurance that He can and will lift the cloud of confusion that you have be flying in. As you trust Him day by day, the personal relationship that you desire to have with Him will supercede the "just so" EGW explanations of what you need to believe and do which contradict the Scriptures. "Perfect love casts out fear." God is faithful as we put our trust in Him to cast out our fears. It can be as hard or as easy as we want to make the re-education process, but the point is that without a relationship with Jesus, it doesn't matter how much of the Scriptures or prophesy or sabbathkeeping we understand or do, we will be lost. What matters is recognizing our error, repenting of that error and enthroning Jesus Christ upon the throne of our heart. Once this is accomplished "the gates of hell cannot prevail against us." | ||
| Colleentinker (Colleentinker) |
David, thank you for your post. I also had an identity crisis when I knew I had to leave. Everything I was professionally, socially, and personally had been defined by Adventism. I remember how depressed I felt, and how deeply sad, when I knew I would have to leave. One night when I was very sad the words of the Shaker hymn Simple Gifts came to my mind. They include: "Öand when we find ourselves in that place just right, ítwill be in the valley of love and delight. To turn, turn, will be our delight, till by turning, turning we come round right." I realized that God was helping me to turn around, and that when I turned away from Adventism I would find myself in the place of His love and delight. I realized that I would "come round right." It was a profound moment for me because I realized that God wanted me to identify only with him, not with any group or church or specific system of theology. Only him. The abusive nature of the spiritual hold on Adventists is not of God. And David is right: it is something from which we must repent, even though we might have been unwittingly seduced by it. But this spiritual stronghold is one of the things Jesus came to forgive and from which he'll set us free. Praise God! Truly "the gates of hell cannot prevail against us." | ||
| Pat Darnell |
Bob and Nancy: They say it takes two years to de-program one who has been in a cult. My lovin' husband says it took me longer. If you've come up from childhood, in SDA schools from first grade through college, it is a difficult thing to leave it. I was "in the work" for years, too, so it was hard. Sometimes, just as a cobra might rear it's ugly head as you turn the corner on a path, the memorized portions of the SOP may jump out at you. I've been out nearly 20 years and it still happens - I think it always will, for I was incredibly indoctrinated, having had a fanatical mother and husband. But y'know, that's the time for an uprising of praise that you've been rescued from it! And you will forget it and go on! Yes, the guilt is terrible at first, But Jesus died for our guilt, just as He died for our sins! Stay with Jesus - so many leave Him altogether at times like this. And don't rush to another church unless you feel the need. I strongly suggest taking as long as you like to do some "church shopping". I was especially blest, because, as a professional church musician, I was offered a job at a Reformed church where I began to hear the real Gospel of Grace! I dragged my husband in, and we have never been happier...I wrote out my life story, which you can read at Janet Brown's web site: http://members.tripod.com/~Help_for_SDAs/index. html. Or if you'd rather read a condensed version, go to www.ex-sda.com, and to Archive #4. Gent condensed it to just the parts which deal with the church...Please feel free to e-mail me at pinedar@hsnp.com if you'd like to "talk"...I've been there, and no one can sympathize, or give a leg up, like someone who has traveled the road! All blessings! Pat Darnell |
