| Author | Message | ||
| David |
After reading many of the postings here, I think that it is time for us to step back and appraise the most appropriate courses of action that people need to pursue in order to get back into step with God and His wonderful plan for their lives. I acknowledge that I was not a generational SDA, and therefore cannot feel the depth of condemnation that many of you were raised in. I can only say that I had two young sons of my own who had no choice as to what church they attended. The inconsistencies of the SDA position couple with its antagonism to the gospel and leading of the Holy Spirit led us out after only a short period of exposure, if you can call 8 years short. There but for the grace of God go I. What I would like to address is the attitude that I see in many of the postings here. The first is the attitude of betrayal, be it by parents, or the church in general. This attitude causes the individual to question everything that he or she believes and then to choose a course of action. For many this course is to withdraw, (it was for us) and to buy the cruelest lie of the SDA church; "If you quit keeping the sabbath, you will fall away from God because you know the truth and you will never be happy apart from keeping the true sabbath of God." I fear that this lie is the number one reason may ex SDA fail to progress to the next step of the healing process. Like a timebomb planted in our psyches, this cruel lie is dormant until the reappraisal process is initiated by the individual when he or she is confronted by the lie of the SDA church. Every other lie of the denomination may be swept clean from the life of the individual, but this one, lurking quietly under the surface awaits its opportunity to strike at us when we are least prepared and to carry us down the road of self condemnation. Jesus used an illustration that is similar to this when He was talking about demon possession. He said that when the demon has been cast out, it goes through waterless places and then determines to check out its former house. Jesus describes that house as being swept and put in order which seems to suit the demon just fine because he then goes and invites seven other demons to join him in a party of destruction. Many exSDA are being pillaged by the devil because they swept out the lies except for this one. They get it in their head that their house is in Biblical order but then fail immerse themselve in Jesus by repenting, calling upon Him for His Divine protection and then getting on with Him as the focal point of their new walk. The first step to healing then, is for us to realize that we have sinned by believing a false doctrine, repent of ALL of our involvement in it and then ask Jesus to cleanse us so that we can receive all that He has to offer us. When we understand where the enemy will attack us, it will be easier for us to defeat him, and that is precisely why it is so necessary for the ex-SDA to recognize that the sabbath lie is the most potent weapon in his arsenal. We cannot difuse it by ourselves. But knowledge is power!! The only way us to defuse the timebomb is for us to join ourselves to fellowship and teaching in a Christian body of believers. As the oil of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God and His grace permeate our lives afresh, the timebomb is smothered by the love of God and we are delivered from it. For those who do not see it for what it is, the path is discouragement, fear, condemnation, isolation and finally a total hatred and rejection for the things of God. So, a quick review. Step one; repentance. Step two; Seek Christian fellowship. Step three: Forgive, Forgive and FORGIVE everybody in the SDA church who made your life miserable. It is the only way to really move on in the healing process. After some time the pain of your woundings will wear off as you focus upon our wonderful Savior and how He delivered you from your bondage to the false gospel of SDAism. Do not constantly revisit these abuses as they can never heal if you do. Step four: Pray and Pray for God to continue to guide you. Remember that Jesus came to a nation of legalists. In Isaiah 53 we are told that He came to set the captives free. Free from what? False religion. So He has fought and won this battle for you and He can make you a participant in that victory. Step five: When you see your old SDA aquaintances and family members, take the initiative and tell them what God is doing for you apart from the sabbath and the SDA church. Provoke them to jealousy with the way God is moving in your life. Do not give them the opportunity to say "I told you so" if they see you barracaded in your house from fear. Remind them that Jesus was the perfect sacrifice for the law and that you are now living the true new covenant relationship with God and that you are living above the "elementary principles of the law" because you have found Jesus and His promised Holy Spirit. Be willing share with them how you have found the true gospel of grace and how God has delivered you from false religion. They will not be able to refute you because of the working of the Holy Spirit in you life. If they continue in their abuse of you, forgive them and move out of their circle entirely. They can only drag you down. I hope that these steps are helpful. Others probably have better insights that myself. Let's hear them all and God bless everybody on this site. | ||
| Susan |
David, Thanks for your post. I agree with you that healing is essential if we are to grow in the Lord. And I know in my heart that I must be content with the FINISHED work of the cross. But I think we need to realize, with sensitivty, the damage that many of us face when leaving a cult like this (same problems are similar to ex-mormons, JW etc.). Some of us totally agree with all that you've said, but the hurts still linger. Yes, Jesus can heal us. He is our only hope. But I think the reason this site is so helpful is that it's a place we can vent our frustrations and struggles. I've received so much love and support from others. You all are the only ones who can share what I've been through. Also, aren't we called to give the comfort that we've received from Christ? Please understand, I don't want to downplay anything you've said. You're points are certainly critical to the healing process. I just fear, that some may feel like their pain should just be over, now that they know the truth. Recovery from a cult/abusive church takes time. One must go through the same steps as when a death occurs. We are all at different stages in our journey. A forum like this is so theraputic! I think it's a vital step for many in their healing process. All I've read on recovery says that, talking to others in a similar situation is one of the best things you can do. Even the bible says "we are to bear one another's burdens." When you say repent I understand how that applies. Perhaps my situation is a bit unique. I never chose to believe in adventism. It was forced on me from birth. Yes, much damage was done, but I didn't dileberatly accept the religion over anything else, (is this making sense?)I wasn't allowed to. Once I was able to chose,(as a teen)I refused the lie of the SDA church. It took some time for me to find "THE TRUTH". I know I need to repent of my bitterness and anger towards those who've hurt me. But I'm not sure about needing to repent for buying into the lies, since I never embraced their teachings as biblical truth. In fact, most of my childhood was spent in opposition to their doctrines. Any thoughts? I'm just curious. Your friend in Christ,Susan | ||
| maggieb |
David and others, regarding: If they continue in their abuse of you, forgive them and move out of their circle entirely. They can only drag you down.David you touched on the most tender nerve of all for me, and I thank you for the opportunity to talk about it. My youngest son is a Traditional Adventist still, and has many fears and misgivings about my freedom of thinking. In my most recent conversation with him I told him I loved him with all my heart and believed that our belief in Christ was the most important thing, and made us one in spirit. He was horrified at this, and expressed suspicion that I was an advocate of the ecumenical movement, and had been influenced by "infiltrators". Need I say, this is heartbreaking? In no sense do I hold him responsible for these ideas. It just makes me love him more to know that he has fallen prey, because of his upbringing, to this unhealthy system. Love is stronger than death, and I would let him drag me down to death, if necessary, to set him free. His wife is expecting their first child (my first grandchild) this fall. It is not in me to walk away, though it is almost always excruciating to talk with him, because he wants to examine my beliefs in minute detail. It was said of Jesus, "Having loved His own, which were in the world, He loved them to the end". I am going to ride this out, by God's grace, if it kills me. Nothing else matters. Maggie | ||
| Lynn |
Maggie, Your post nearly brought me to tears. I just had to stop & pray for your son. I pray that he will begin to ask himself the same questions I have been asking of Adventists for a long time. "Why is simple, open love so frightening? Why is a simple belief in Christ and the Gospel so offensive?" Whenever I encounter this paranoia, which is so common among Adventists, I can't help but feel sorrow. | ||
| maggieb |
Lynn, thank you for your prayer and for sitting with me for a moment with this. I can't tell you how much this means to me. Now you're making me cry. I invite anyone with a loved one trapped in Adventism to join me in prayer for God to pull this stronghold down and set its victims free. Maggie | ||
| Morgan |
Maggie, I just prayed for you and your son, also. It's so hard to grow up with the amount of pain you've spoken of and now to be in a relationship of love mixed with pain in a whole new context. Lynn and Susan, you are such wonderful supports! I want to comment on one of Susan's statements about not being responsible for her being born into Adventism and for not being responsible for the deceptions and lies. I completely agree. I also think, though, that even when we are the victims of abuse of any kind, the time comes when we have to confess and repent of its presence in our lives. Even when we didn't choose it, the results of the abuse, whatever it is, damages us so that we are weak or vulnerable and likely to unwittingly pass our own hurts on to others, including our children, in ways we don't even mean to. We are tainted by the sin even though we didn't choose the sin, and we have to repent of it even though we might not have voluntarily chosen it. In the case of Adventism, it is founded on deception. I absolutely did not know I was deceived for many years. But deception is not from God. The father of lies generated the deception, and he has a claim on the church because of it. So, when God finally revealed to me that I had been deceived, I knew I had to renounce it. I had to acknowledge that I had been deceived and give that part of my experience to Jesus so his forgiveness could heal that part of me. In this sense I believe we do have to repent of our involvement in Adventism. It's not because we had been participants by choice but because we were actually participating in and supporting and perpetuating the sins of deception even though we didn't know it. And that deception made us vulnerable to other kinds of deception and abuse. It put a mark on our hearts that Jesus can heal and turn into unexpected strength. But none of this is to generate guilt. We are forgiven! Praise God, he has brought us into freedom, and we are in his heart forever! | ||
| Rayna |
I have been reading your messages about how to heal our wounds after leaving the SDA Church. As Iook back, I have begun to realize that if I had not had this experience in life, I would not appreciate the gospel as I know it today. SDA's have a doctrine of the law and obedience to it for salvation. They deny this, but we all know it is true. We have the wonderful truth that our salvation is not of works but by faith only in Jesus. The Adventist church is like a schoolmaster that drives us to truly appreciate the gospel, when we learn of it. I remember the wonderful relief I felt when I learned that our salvation is not by keeping the 10 commandments, but by faith in Jesus alone. I only look at the SDA experience as a hard taskmaster that I escaped from and now I am free. Adventists are trapped by the keeping of the law. I can only thank God that I have this wonderful truth today. I attend church nowhere at the present, but am so glad to have found this site. I walk daily with Jesus and just cannot thank God enough for teaching me the true gospel. |
