| Author | Message | ||
| Lydell |
George, I think you have the right idea. Prayer is for our benefit in building relationship with God. HE knows what He wants to do in the situation. Very often the question is are WE willing to open up and allow Him to do that, or will we continue to do our own thing? Unless we ask we don't know what He has in mind and aren't likely to be cooperating with Him. The same goes for praying for others. Why not ask? Why not open up the opportunity for Him to move? If you look in the gospels you find that folks weren't automatically healed. They asked. Where there was rank unbelief, nothing could be done. HIS power was the same. It was the people who weren't willing. And not ALL were always healed when he was present either...look at the story of the pool of Bethsaida. We are encouraged over and over in the scriptures to ask. And we are encouraged to ask more than once! Take a look at Luke 18: 1-8 for instance. Why keep asking? Maybe to keep us focused on listening for the answer? Maybe because He plans to do healing, for example, over a period of time? Maybe because at some point, he wants the person to take some different action to move toward their healing? Evidently He doesn't find it annoying for us to keep talking to him about the problem. I think one problem we have is that we become totally focused on looking at the problem or situation before us, while He is looking at the overall picture. His purpose is to build the kingdom of heaven. Everything He does is for that purpose. Sometimes it means He demonstrates His power and compassion through healing, sometimes it means that He instead changes the person as they go through the situation, sometimes it means that He allows one to die while another lives. For those who lives, it is likely because He hasn't yet finished with them. He still has plans for them for hope and a future. We see it as the end for the ones left behind. He sees it as another step toward good stuff He still has in store for the person. There is more to be had in life for the one left alive.....the question is will they accept the help or become hardened and reject what is offered. We surely aren't going to come up with all the answers here on earth. But seeking the answers is what helps build our relationship with Him. If we only know the historical Christ, then relationship is never going to be built. If we become acquainted with His character, then we aren't going to be shaken from the foundation when troubles come up. We may get angry. We may ask questions. But it will always come back to "Lord I KNOW you, so I KNOW you can be trusted to have a reason for allowing this to happen. Open my eyes to follow your directions." And through whatever happens we have his promise that he does care, and that he will comfort. | ||
| George |
I don't have a lot of time this morning but I will try to answer you. I think for the most part you and I think alike, but it still seems that you are making prayer and the relationship with God more complicated than it needs to be. Sure there has to be reverence toward God, but it does not have to be this miserable, sad, confusing, complicated thing. It should be happy, comfortable and peaceful. What I see most is people that are all torn up inside about things that happen. If God wants us to be happy, and we are all torn up then there must be something wrong. (Remember the square peg). The way I look at it "Christians" in general are not at peace, with themselves or anyone else including God. If God is a God of love and 'Christians" that are supposed to be His people are not happy, what is wrong??? Surly something is wrong. Would you care to take on that question? You can't use any of the pat answers like, we don't know what God has in mind or there are some mysteries we will never understand etc. We have to figure it out if we ever want to be happy and be with God. I talked about being selfactualised some time ago, that is to be at peace with yourself and the world around you. Part of that peace comes when we do what we are supposed to do and let others do what they are supposed to do. If we are always trying to get God to change His mind about things that are none of our business we can never be at peace as He will do what He wants to do no mater what we say. Sure ask for things, ask more than once of you want to, but don't get all torn up about it if He doesn't do what you want. I don't think He wants us to grovel and beg. That would not ge evidence of a loving God would it? After all if we are not to work our way to heaven, why should we have to work so hard for an answer to prayer? Think about it. What do you think.:=)) George | ||
| Billthompson |
I hope I am not repeating anything someone has already said above. I admit to not reading each post in detail. What good is prayer? I see it like this. If my children are worried, concerned, happy, sad, etc. I would really like for them to talk to me about those things, to open their heart to me with their innermost feelings. Now I've raised them from birth and know when something is wrong, right, etc. I can read their emotoins quite often without them saying a word but I still really value their opening up and sharing their heart with me. Will their emotions radically change my mind about things? Not in most situations but that does not mean there is nothing to be gained by "venting" with dad. Many people pay big bucks to therapists and lay on a couch and share their inner most fears and concerns. Therapists vary greatly in their quality, reliabilty and effectiveness. What a blessing to have a heavenly Father to share our heart with, to "vent" our frustrations, etc. Yes, I have had times just like Patti where I have questioned what difference it makes. We usually pray for God to change the situation to our liking and sometimes that is what happens. Others times a more important miracle takes place, WE are changed in the midst of the bad situation. | ||
| Cas |
Very interesting posts and thought provoking from you all. I just had the most terrifying night of my life early Sun. morn. at 1:38. We were within a few miles of the epicenter of a 5.2 earthquake I have never been so scared in my life waking up out of a sound sleep to the crashing of furniture, and glass breaking etc. We thought the whole house was coming down. After a day or two I found myself wondering why Jesus does not hurry up and come and put an end to all of this mess. I too have a lot of the questions I have read on the post, and I guess that is where faith comes in that we believe in spite of our doubts that we succomb to on occasion. I think Jesus probably taught more on having faith and belief than anything else. For some reason we are not aware of, these horrible things happen and our prayers may not be answered the way we want, but the Lords peace is there and that we can rely on. I will pray for you Patti and your neighbors that you will have the help of the Lord to get you through this hard time. | ||
| Maryann |
Thank you Patti for spawning this discussion:):) Hi Cas, I've thought of you and my SDA friend in the Napa area several times in the last couple days!!!!! I'm so glad you are okay. And...I'm even "gladder" to have met you some weeks ago;-)) Just been soooooooooo busy with my move and all that goes with it. Maryann | ||
| Chyna |
I don't know where I'm coming into this subject, I do remember reading about Patti and prayer though. Luke 18:1 Now He was telling them a parable to show that at all times they ought to pray and not to lose heart, it reminds me of a song I would sing because the verse was always so appropriate for my sadness: "Say to those who are broken hearted, 'Do not lose your faith' The Lord your God is strong With His loving arms, when you call on His name He will come and save ..." the other verse says: "Say to those who are fearful hearted 'Do not be afraid' The Lord your God is strong With His mighty arms, when you call on His name" two stories stuck out in my mind on this topic first the story about the unjust judge whom the widow pestered until he gave her justice. and Jesus said how much more would God the Father grant justice to those who cry out to them i originally thought it was that God would give you the desires of your heart, but no, it didn't say that. then the other one was the verse: Matt 7:11 - "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!" Psalm 20:1b-4 May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble! May the name of the God of Jacob set you securely on high! 2 May He send you help from the sanctuary, And support you from Zion! 3 May He remember all your meal offerings, And find your burnt offering acceptable! Selah. 4 May He grant you your heart's desire, And fulfill all your counsel! Psalm 21:2 Thou hast given him his heart's desire, And Thou hast not withheld the request of his lips. Ps 145:19 - He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He will also hear their cry and will save them. Pr 10:24 - What the wicked fears will come upon him, And the desire of the righteous will be granted. Pr 11:23 - The desire of the righteous is only good, But the expectation of the wicked is wrath. Mark 11:22 And Jesus answered saying to them, "Have faith in God. 23 "Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it shall be granted him. 24 "Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they shall be granted you. 1Th 5:17 - pray without ceasing; Ro 8:26 - And in the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; Jas 5:13 - Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. 13 Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praises. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; 15 and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. 16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. so after a flurry of scriptures that I've tried to go through rather quickly, I always think of Romans 8:28 Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. so... we know that God wants to give us good things, we know that God will grant justice to us. we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him. I'm not going to claim I know what's good in the whole scheme of things. A couple at my church lost their baby girl due to a rapid and severe brain hemorrage, it was totally unexpected and they were bereaved. our church met for an emergency prayer meeting, and we prayed together for her in the hospital. *sigh* I was thinking about Ben. I was thinking about life in general and how to live it. daily I think about how easy it is to die, today a car came at us head on (driving illegally on the wrong side of the road). i am so sorry for your loss, but at the same time i can't help but think of trying to be grateful for the time we did have with loved ones before they went. the others are right. we pray because we benefit the most from prayers. God says that He already knows that we're going to ask for. I think, most of all, we pray for what is good. good for our loved ones. i don't really know how to balance faith and prayer though. I think God is still teaching me on this subject. my only answer is to keep praying, to keep clinging to God and to keep trusting in Him that everything's going to work out for good. I remember that Jesus prayed that the cup would pass from Him the night before His crucifixtion, yet, God did not grant Him that request, and well, it is life saving thing for humanity that God did not grant Him that request, and Jesus was definitely a righteous man. Matt 26:39 - And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as Thou wilt." the cross reference for this verse is in Mark and Luke: Mark 14:36 - And He was saying, "Abba! Father! All things are possible for Thee; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what Thou wilt." Jesus acknowledges that God can do all things, yet He still prays for God's will to be done, and not His. so please don't despair that it was lack of faith that God did not grant your request that Ben be healed. with love, Chyna | ||
| Allenette |
My last thought on this subject (to many's relief): It is a real pity that somewhere in the Bible, amongst all those "truths", in some interpretation down thru the ages, somebody in power didnt utter the Earthly Ultimately Inevitably TRUE words, "S*** happens". | ||
| Terry |
Allenette, Great thought! Chyna, Your post is so refreshing...using those Scriptures...We need more of that...thank-you Cas, Hi, We haven't met. I live in St. Helena. My mother lives in Napa, and felt the earthquake...broken things, but not too much damage. I slept through the whole thing! Go figure!*Smiles* Terry | ||
| Lydell |
Um, actually Allennette, that observation is voiced many times in the scriptures. Along with the statement of where it came from.....satan. We are never told that we will be immune from the stuff. We are told though that as believers we have Someone to walk through the stuff with us. We are told that the Lord intends to take the stuff and re-interpret it so that it turns into hope and a future. Chyna, thanks for taking the time to post all the scriptures. All of scripture really comes down to the teachings that satan's plan is to take us out, while God's plan is to give us hope and a future. It doesn't matter what happens along the way. If we have thrown our lot in with the Lord then the stuff that comes up is just a step in the process. We will not be derailed by satans attacks if we can get that thought fixed firmly in our minds, "but God meant it for God." Last night my husband and I were discussing a situation we saw a couple weeks ago at our church. A lady who came to visit at the church for the first time ended up at the altar weeping. Her husband was killed 3 weeks ago in a tragic accident. She has 7 children. In talking with her during ministry she told me that one of her children is dealing with a load of anger toward God right now. But when I looked in her eyes I saw a quiet determinationk and her words were, "I KNOW my Lord loves me and this is NOT the end of my life." My husbands observation was that no matter what happens in his life, he can say with certainty that the Lord has already kept his promise to give him joy and a life of meaning because of his children and his wife. And if either of those things were to come to an end, it would not change the fact that the Lord intends to continue to keep the promise of a life of meaning and purpose. Like I said, how we interpret the events of our lives depends to a great extent on what we put in our minds now. What is our choice now. Who do we see the Lord to be now. Shoooooo weee, I gotta get off this computer. I don't know if it was the early mornign wake up (and me not a morning person!) to go to an early morning prayer session, or having high test coffee after laying off caffeen for a month but do I have the jitttttters. whoooooaaaaaa | ||
| Christianbiker |
Clayton Stanwick I'm new to the forum and I enjoyed reading the comments on prayer. I have had a struggle understanding how God relates to our prayers. Let me explain. About 10 years ago my wife had a near fatal car accident. She was in intensive care for weeks. Naturally I was in an extreme crisis. Since I was a SDA pastor, her situation was known all accross Canada and many were praying for her. One person called me and stated that God just had to heal her as there were hundreds of people praying for her. As I thought of her comment, I became very upset. What kind of a God did I serve that the more people who pray the better chance I would have that God would step in and heal her. It sounded more like a politicion who needed enough votes to win. I believe God does not require numbers of prayers before he moves to act.. its not a number game. Yes I am very grateful that my wife survived, but the answer to my prayer was that God gave her a deep peace and assurance of His presence and love for her and a certain confidence that if she would die she would most assuredly be in the Kingdom at her resurrection. That was exactly what I prayed for. Yes I wanted her to live but more importantly that she be at peace and sence His presence with her and have the certainty of salvation. I think many times we really don't know what to pray for and God understands our confusion and we can be absolutely open and honest with Him about what we are feeling. Prayer to me is like the deepest, most intimate conversation with a friend that you know and trust and that you can say whatever is on your heart. Does God always answer our prayers as we want? No! The day of the accident my wife and I prayed that morning that God would protect us and keep us safe that day. I think most importantly, prayer helps to center us on walking with Him and staying open to the Holy Spirit's moving in our life. | ||
| Lydell |
Welcome Clayton. Hope you post more often. Are you still in the church? | ||
| Maryann |
Hi Clayton/Christianbiker, Now that is a most interesting handle!? Can you tell more about yourself and what your story is? Are you still an SDA pastor? What part of Canada do you hail from and so on? My parents are Canadians. Hope to hear more from you.........Maryann | ||
| Maryann |
Hi Allenette, I HAVEN'T forgotten about you! I'll get back to the chat chat when I have my 'puter moved and set up;-)) I really have enjoyed your last few post's!:):) You and George have similar brain waves;-)) or :-((?? Maryann:):) | ||
| Lydell |
Chyna, I'm following our lead here in looking up some stuff on prayer, it occurs to me that we should look to Christ and the early church for our example and understanding of the subject. I noticed some things that Christ prayed for: besides His praying for some to be healed, I also found this: John 17:15 He is praying that the lord will keep them from evil And He commanded his followers: Luke 10:42 Pray that He would send laborers into HIs harvest. Luke 21:36 prayer for themselves And of course, he asked the disciples to pray with Him in the garden We find some interesting things that are being prayed for in the NT: Col. 1:9 that his readers be "filled with the knowledge of his will" II Thess. 1:11 that God "may count you worthy of his calling, and by his power may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith" so that "the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you" II Thess. 3:1 prayers are requested "that the message of the lord may spread rapidly and be honored" All of the above would certainly be things that God, in His sovereignty and goodness would already be willing to do, and probably be intending to do. This indicates to me that Christ and the apostles felt that it was still an important thing for them to be in prayer with the Lord about these matters. I find in Acts 1:14 and 2:42 that the early church was devoted and constant in prayer. In Col 1:3, and 4:12 they were laboring in prayers for others And in I Thess 3:10 prayers were going up night and day for one particular request So, George, it appears that we have much example in the scriptures that others before us have not just viewed prayer as being a one time request being made and then move on to praying about something else. Or resting in the thought that if it is the will of God it will happen and so I don't need to continue to pray about it. I think we have abundant examples as well of the church coming together to pray about things, such as when Paul and Silas were in prison. Why do that when they could have prayed individually at home and been safer as well? I do know from our personal experience that there seems to be a corporate annointing that comes when the people are together in unity in prayer. I can't explain why it should be this way, or how it could work. I can't explain why it should be that someone who wasn't there during a time of prayer, when no one who was in the prayer meeting speaks to them or speaks publicly during the meeting, that the one who wasn't in prayer, who comes through the doors of the church not particularly seeking a blessing or looking for anything remarkable to happen or for that matter even believing that it is possible for anything to happen, will quite suddenly in a service feel a touch of God that radically changes their heart. It just seems to happen with great regularity when we pray before a service and happens only rarely when there is no meeting for prayer before a service begins. I'm not surprised when those of us who were in a prayer meeting are more receptive to a move of God coming afterward during the service that follows. But, someone who wasn't present at all? I'd be interested in hearing if others have noticed this as well. | ||
| Lydell |
Chyna, I'm following our lead here in looking up some stuff on prayer, it occurs to me that we should look to Christ and the early church for our example and understanding of the subject. I noticed some things that Christ prayed for: besides His praying for some to be healed, I also found this: John 17:15 He is praying that the lord will keep them from evil And He commanded his followers: Luke 10:42 Pray that He would send laborers into HIs harvest. Luke 21:36 prayer for themselves And of course, he asked the disciples to pray with Him in the garden We find some interesting things that are being prayed for in the NT: Col. 1:9 that his readers be "filled with the knowledge of his will" II Thess. 1:11 that God "may count you worthy of his calling, and by his power may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith" so that "the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you" II Thess. 3:1 prayers are requested "that the message of the lord may spread rapidly and be honored" All of the above would certainly be things that God, in His sovereignty and goodness would already be willing to do, and probably be intending to do. This indicates to me that Christ and the apostles felt that it was still an important thing for them to be in prayer with the Lord about these matters. I find in Acts 1:14 and 2:42 that the early church was devoted and constant in prayer. In Col 1:3, and 4:12 they were laboring in prayers for others And in I Thess 3:10 prayers were going up night and day for one particular request So, George, it appears that we have much example in the scriptures that others before us have not just viewed prayer as being a one time request being made and then move on to praying about something else. Or resting in the thought that if it is the will of God it will happen and so I don't need to continue to pray about it. I think we have abundant examples as well of the church coming together to pray about things, such as when Paul and Silas were in prison. Why do that when they could have prayed individually at home and been safer as well? I do know from our personal experience that there seems to be a corporate annointing that comes when the people are together in unity in prayer. I can't explain why it should be this way, or how it could work. I can't explain why it should be that someone who wasn't there during a time of prayer, when no one who was in the prayer meeting speaks to them or speaks publicly during the meeting, that the one who wasn't in prayer, who comes through the doors of the church not particularly seeking a blessing or looking for anything remarkable to happen or for that matter even believing that it is possible for anything to happen, will quite suddenly in a service feel a touch of God that radically changes their heart. It just seems to happen with great regularity when we pray before a service and happens only rarely when there is no meeting for prayer before a service begins. I'm not surprised when those of us who were in a prayer meeting are more receptive to a move of God coming afterward during the service that follows. But, someone who wasn't present at all? I'd be interested in hearing if others have noticed this as well. | ||
| Chyna |
power in prayer. well, i think personally prayer is a way for us to be actively conscious of God in our lives. there is evidence that corporate prayer has a benefit unlike any other. "whenever two or three are gathered, I will be in their midst" (paraphrase). like the Paul and Silas being released etc. that's why i really desire for us all to pray for our adventist friends together. come to think of it, prayer is also an acknowledgement of our powerlessness in the situation. Prayer acknowledges that God is in charge. it makes me wonder though, there were many times when those that were close to God asked for healing for people, or resurrection. yet, I wonder at the same time whether it was because they were so close to God's will, that they knew what they prayed was in God's will. still, reading over the Bible about prayer answers me certainly regarding one thing, that we should always pray for God's will to be done. also the other thing I took from it was pray and believe. so in this instance I'm believing that my ex and his family will become spiritually seeing :). in Him, Chyna | ||
| George |
Lydell, Yes, there are many examples of praying over and over again for something. But did they become so consumed with it that they lost faith in it when nothing happened? That is the point I am trying to make. I don't care who ya are if ya try to put a square peg in a round hole long enough you will get discouraged after a while and give up. At the risk of sounding insensitave this is what happened to Patti. After years of praying for people that didn't make it she is questioning a very large part of her spiritual experience. Surly this is not what God intended to happen when we pray! But, when this does happen, it isn't God that is at fault, it isn't prayer that is at fault. So what is it? It must be our perseption of what prayer is suposed to do that is at fault. Right? If our perseption of prayer is wrong, the only way we will ever figure out what is wrong about it, is to question what what prayer is to do. Come on now, if it don't work dosn't it only make sence to do a little investigating and try something different? Who knows it just might work, ya never know till ya try.:=) George | ||
| Allenette |
Lydell, as I thought about my last night's post today, I decided the same thing: that the BIBLE DOES SAY "YOU KNOW WHAT". But...rather than leaving it at that, a very pragmatic conclusion, which us moderns and maybe post-moderns have noticed, that the promise of some way to out-fox the inevitable, is always added. (The light at the end of the tunnel? The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? The paradise after the seige? etc etc etc) But... down here on earth, very few of those "miracles" ever happen, and as Patti has lived to tell about, mostly the human body is subject to fatal pelting if done right. :-( I guess my lot on this forum is to be the eternal fatalistic. Dern, I could just about handle being the token agnostic :-))))) | ||
| George |
To all, This has been a very interesting subject, though ti was started by a very tragic event. It seems that the general opinion is that we should pray to further our own relationship God more than to try to get Him to change His mind about things, what ever they may be. For most of my life I have not thought much of God or religion in general. I just couldn't stand to hear any of it. I don't know if I would say I hated God, but I did hate the way I was made to feel in the name of God. I still hate that. In one way or another I was taught I was not a worth while person, I had no value. It was, I think, mostly this confusion over my value as a person that caused the end of two marriages, and untold trouble at some of the jobs I have had. (I had been conditioned to believe I was of no value so when things went wrong I 'knew" it was my fault so after a while I would give up, I would stick with the job or marriage but my heart was not in it.) I would pray for understanding, for belief, for faith and about anything anyone told me to pray for but I got nothing, not one thing. All I wanted was inner peace, not money not nice things just peace. Still nothing. So you can see why I have the views I have on prayer, it never worked. Remember the square peg and the round hole? Well I never found the square hole. That is until a few months ago. I guess you could say that all this and a few other things were eating away at me for years and I started to get angry. It was just little things at first and the anger would go away after a while. Then it would start to build, and it would build and build until I would explode. Then it would start all over again, and this would happen again and again over the years until there was this under current of anger in me that was just waiting for a chance to get out. Early this year it happened, some little thing set me off in the morning and by that night it all let loose. I knew I was out of control but I could do nothing to stop it, I also knew that I must never let this happen again or I might do something I would regret the rest of my life. I left for a while and when I came back after a few hours, I was told by a wonderful person that I was a very angry person, which I could finally see. I said I would get some help and a few days later joined an anger management group. During one meeting in which we were shown the relationship between what we learned as children and the personality we had as adults and I was stunned. How did they know all about me, they described me to a "T". The next week I asked if the way I was taught to view myself and the rest on the would in the name of God and the resultant feelings I had, could cause some of the feelings I was having that were so close to what combat veterans felt. I didn't want to say that I could be diagnosed with PTSD but there were many very striking similarities. He didn't want to answer the question at that moment but walked me through the cause and effect of my upbringing and that is when I learned for the first time that I had been taught by the adults and "God" that I had no value. What a revelation!! I had had this conflict going on in me all my life, on the one hand I knew that I was an OK person and on the other I was believing that I had no value! If you don't think that will mess up your head just try it for 40 some years, and see what happens. Often it has been just the knowledge of what was wrong that relieved much of the confusion and started the healing. It was about this time that Lori said something on this forum that brought about my understanding of salvation. These too together have given me peace for the first time in my life. I am happy most of the time and I have this sense of inner peace I have been looking for as long as I can remember. The reason I wrote all this is to say that with this sense of peace and knowledge of salvation I can't think of anything else to ask Him for. I know why I was a confused amd hurt person and have put that away, and I know that salvation is there for the taking. Knowing these two things, and the joy they bring, what else could I possibly want or need? Anyone have an answer? Happy at last-----George | ||
| Colleentinker |
Lydell and Chyna, great posts. Actually, I've also enjoyed George's and Clayton's and Allenette's, too. I've been trying to define how prayer has changed for me since I began praying with born-again Christians. I know the change has been profound, but I have a hard time explaining it. I'll try, though. First, the biggest change for me is that I now pray BELIEVING that God is listening. This belief is not just a decision or a self-hypnotic act that makes me feel good. This belief springs from the certainty that the Holy Spirit is now living in me. That certainty is as definite as the certainty that the sun rises in the east. But my certainty about the Holy Spirit is something I know spiritually; it's not something I can explain logically. I know, the agnosticsóor those who want to be!ówill say I'm living in a rosy self-deception. But the spiritual reality of the presence of God is as real as is the presence of my husband. I just perceive it differently. I know it's real, because I can see ways in which my trust in him is changing life-long self-protective but destructive habits and emotional reactions. I am beginning to experience the phenomenon of literally giving God my fears about certain situations and about certain people and asking him to take care of them. And I see those situations resolving constructively and without the conflict I would have experienced in the past. They are also resolving in ways they probably wouldn't if I were not praying. Perhaps the most life-changing effect of prayer for me within the past two years is the growing peace I have. I am beginning to understand that God is sovereign, and when I give him the situations for which I feel concern, I can trust him to work them out according to his will. I don't have to manipulate or fret about outcomes. This peace is not like the Buddhist peace that comes from dissociating oneself from life's struggles and pain. Quite the contrary; this peace goes hand-in-hand with facing reality and walking head-on into the difficult situations life brings me. But now, instead of experiencing overwhelming pain with no hope of relief except escape, I now know that God is literally in the pain with me. His strength keeps me from "checking out", but his strength also carries the weight of death that previously made me want to dissociate. In the middle of doubt and uncertainty, there is now hope. I believe that none of these effects makes sense apart from being born from above. The "dead souls" we are born with are disconnected from God, and they can't perceive the reality of his presence. But when we accept him, when we take the risk of committing ourselves to abandoning our control and accepting his overwhelming love, we are never the same again. To experience being loved with the constancy and intensity of God is to become alive. To have the God of the universe indwelling me is the most inexplicable paradigm shift I've ever experienced. Prayer seems less and less a plea for God to work out my problems the way it seems best. More and more it becomes my asking God to give me trust and peace, my asking God to do his will in the situations of my life and to reveal his wisdom and will to me. Increasingly prayer becomes my asking God to bless and minister to other people according to his will. No, I do not understand why God alllows dreadful, inexplicable things to happen. But I am beginning to trust him more. I'm beginning to know that what happens fits into a big picture I simply cannot see. But it's not important that I see it now. What matters is that I experience God. I know the joy of being secure in the eternity of his limitless love. This joy does not negate the gut-wrenching pain and sadness of this life. But it does give it purpose, eventually. And I know I can trust God. I know, because I love God, and He knows me. Praying that God will glorify himself through my life, Colleen |
