| Author | Message | ||
| Korinna |
I hope i am typing this in the right spot. My hubby and i were baptized SDA over a year ago. At the time i felt it was what GOD wanted us to do, as prior to our marriage we had both fallen away from faith and wanted GOD to be part of our marriage. We attended the Doug Batchelor series and we both felt we were learning so much!! I remember getting a couple books..one was health and the other the great controversy by ellen white. No one at the church really said much about her. I was there for Jesus and wanted to be baptized. (was "baptized" into the lutheran church as a infant but my family never had regular attendance there) Well the pastor stops over one afternoon with baptismal certificates to sign and i was taken back. I said i wasn't entirely ready and he said that now that i knew "the truth" i shouldn't wait. My husband was ready and so i agreed. I felt something was wrong, yet i learned so much in the seminar and the people were so friendly. Imagine my shock when standing there after the baptism i am asked to agree that Ellen White exercised the spirit of prophecy!! I was trapped! I had serious doubts about her, my husband read more about her than I, but i gave in and agreed, as i was up there in front of everyone. After this i felt ok, everyone was so friendly and kind and soon they gave us positions in the church and i started hearing more and more about ellen white in sabbath school class. I didn't understand why she was neccessary. After about 6 months, i started to realize just how much the church was about works, about having to be perfect and the "rules" were getting more overbearing by the day. I grew up in an alcoholic home and quite honestly i felt like i was back in a similar situation. The post bible studies were a joke to put it honestly, they were the profiles from the 70's and it was all about how hard we had to work for our faith that we should NEVER say we are saved. I said what happened to grace? The SDA's teach grace but i am no longer sure if they believe in grace or not. It took my hubby awhile longer to see Ellen White as being false but through reading on line he can see things in a different light. We have decided to leave. I want to turn in my membership right away but hubby has concerns about that..not wanting to hurt anyones feelings. I already miss the church people. I have fears about the sabbath too. I never "got" the sabbath. I read and read the bible listened to others, prayed about it...ect but i kept coming back to WHYY? why is the physical action of keeping a sabbath neccessary to our salvation? The argument from SDA is you dont keep it to be saved, you keep it because you love GOD. so does that mean if i dont keep one i hate GOD. I know a year isnt long compared to some of you guys, but a lot of this stuff is in my head. I fear if i dont continue to try and keep a sabbath i am doomed. I know thats not true intellectually but emotionally i worry. so then i think well i might as well just do it to be on the safe side, but of course GOD will know my heart about it anyways so to keep it out of fear is futile right? Its not like i felt as if i broke the sabbath all the time, but it never felt restful to me, more stress and aggravation than anything else...a weekely reminder that i wasnt getting things right. Sorry this is so long but i thought i would introduce myself and give a little background. I have been reading here and i am so glad this forum exists!:) I am Korinna and I live in NJ with my hubby and my almost 9 year old son. thanks for listening to me rattle on, will be back in soon. GOD bless!:):) | ||
| Valm |
God Bless you Korinna and you gave a wonderful introduction and did not rattle on a bit. There are many people here who do a much better job than I do at explaining the scriptures and I know that they will be of tremedous help to you on these matters, exspecially the Sabbath issue. Two must read books are written by Ratzlaff and he is in the links of this site. One is the Cultic Doctrine of the SDA Church and the other is THE SABBATH in CRISIS. The later in particular will help you. You are so correct about SDAism having common behaviours as those found in an alcoholic family. There is a book called TOXIC FAITH that really helped me understand this. Have you browsed the Grace Place site found in the links? I have been studying the book on line on New Covenant Christians and am really jazzed about it. Even a short exsposure to an abusive and addictive faith leaves its hooks and scars in people. It will take time to detox and I wish and pray that this site will be helpful to you. It is very common for folks to have varying degrees of grief response when leaving SDAism. Allow yourself the right to grieve just as you would if someone you cared for died. It might seem silly, but it will really help. Read books on grief and daily devotionals written for people undergoing grieve. Have a ceromony of closure if it helps you. We all carry on a bit here at FAF. Try to not let that bother you. I think we all mean well but are all at different places in our journey and with different excess baggage. My husband is from South Amboy. I lived a year in Highland Park and then two in Sayreville before we moved to Bucks Cty PA I currently reside in WA state. I still miss the Jersey shore in the summer particularly the board walks at towns like Pt Pleasant. I also miss the old homes of Princeton and surrounding as well as in Bucks County. So next time you have a slice of real pizza or a cheese steak or walk the board walk, think of me. Valerie | ||
| Max |
Hi Korinna, and welcome, Grace and courage to you and your family. ^^The argument from SDA is you dont keep it to be saved, you keep it because you love GOD. so does that mean if i dont keep one i hate GOD.^^ Two points of response: 1. Do they offer so much as ONE New Testament text to substantiate the claim that the believer keeps the Sabbath because s/he loves God? I am aware of no such text. [I don't want to hear, if ye love me keep my command- ments, since the commandments at issue here are contextually Christ's New Testament Commandments, such as those found in the Sermon on Mt. Blessings. The New Testament repeats only Nine of the Ten and it is only the Fourth that is omitted.] 2. This SDA idea of telling Christians they have to keep the Sabbath because they love God clearly violates Paul's Scripture in Romans 14:4-6 NIV: "Who are you [SDA] to judge someone else's [God's] servant [Korinna]. To [her] own master [God s/he] stands or falls. And [she] will stand, for the Lord is able to make [her] stand. One [Christian] considers one day [e.g., Sabbath] more sacred than another [e.g., Sunday]; another [Christian, e.g., Max] considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his [her] own mind. [S]He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord." Max of the Cross | ||
| Cindy |
Korinna, I'm so glad you came here! Your story was very interesting; thanks for posting it. Hope to here more from you. I know the emotional guilt and fear that Adventism brings when you find yourself questioning, and then disagreeing, with its' belief that it is the True Remnant church ("the Truth"!), having its' own latter-day Prophet and, of course, having the "correct" day to worship on... As you mentioned the Sabbath issue is a big one! I pray you will continue to prayerfully study and find the assurance and confidence that will give you peace over this. I know it took me a number of years! Fortunately, you have not been indoctrinated in that thinking for too long! I am impressed with your courage to question; the Holy Spirit has been and will continue to be with you and guide you in to all Truth! Remember Truth has a wonderful NAME--JESUS!! "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life"... The Sabbath really is a main thing in Adventism; more than Jesus, since they say it will be the "final Test". It is unfathomable to them to see the Sabbath as a SHADOW that found its' FULFILLMENT in the TRUE REST, JESUS CHRIST. Valerie brought up some very good suggestions. A study of the Old and New covenants was very helpful to me, also. Keep posting! Grace always, Cindy | ||
| Dan_2 |
Korinna, welcome and thank you for sharing you faith story. This is a good place for you and your husband to find not only some answers to your questions, but most important, support and encouragement to live with your growing convictions. Please know (as I'm a former SDA pastor who God used to lead his family and extended family with now 4 former SDA pastors, out of Adventism) that the leaving is a process. And that it will take time to "leave the Sabbath." I remember how strange it was to go to the mall, etc. on Saturday at first (and by the way, most and I mean most Adventist's to really "keep the Sabbath." I see them at the mall, movies, etc. all the time). I just received an email last night from an Adventist trying to lay guilt and fear upon me for "leaving the fold" as he put it. Anyway, listen and interact with us here. Valm had some good advice. Finally, there is a video on Adventism (my father and I have a "part" in it) that would be helpful. Please keep in touch! --Dan Snyder | ||
| Colleentinker |
Korinna--Welcome! I understabnd your fear and confusion. I agree with the posts above; it might really help for you and your husband to read Ratzlaff's The Cultic Doctrine of Seventh-day Adventists and The Sabbath in Crisis. (You can get them from him at www.ratzlaf.com) You can also get the video Dan mentioned from Dale. I will pray for you and your husband. The Holy Spirit is leading and teaching you, and please know that you are not alone. Your experience is not strange. We are here to talk to you and to support you! Colleen | ||
| Korinna |
Thanks so much to everyone for your responses!! Leaving the church has been such a tough issue, especially when we recieved "guilt" christmas cards in the mail saying "don't stray to far from the truth because Jesus is coming soon." What kind of card is that? grrr and i havent strayed from Jesus, just church doctrine and Ellen White. I feel disillusioned and somewhat angry. Foolish too. I believed with all my heart those bible studies we took had shown us the true light. But all along i never believed in Ellen White, though maybe she had "some" good ideas about health. And i can't say i didnt learn anything from becoming SDA...but i never realized til being inside the church every sabbath just how much Ellen Whites ideas prevail. It was so subtle and give in "nice words" that until i really looked into her books and the sites on line and most importantly the bible that i saw that maybe one time the SDA's had the truth...thats its been perhaps forever spoiled.:( I am soo glad to be here and to be able to talk about this. I miss the ladies group on sunday evenings. I miss singing duets with a wonderful lady friend in church and how good it made me feel. Sometimes i think.. can't i just ignore Ellen White and all the messed up doctrine and be an SDA? I can't because i am a christian because i believe and worship Jesus, and the SDA's have been doing things the same way for so long theres little hope they would get rid Of Ellen White. Again just glad to be here and be able to share that. I look forward to getting to know you all and my hubby is going to try and post soon as well. take care and GOD bless!:) Korinna | ||
| Valm |
Dear Korinna, Wishing you a future full of NEW opportunities with new ladies groups, choirs, traditions and fellowships. The are out there waiting for you when you are ready. Valerie | ||
| Colleentinker |
Dear Korinna, you will find new groups and new outlets for your talents and praise. God is so faithful to bring us to fellowship when we follow him! Colleen | ||
| Chyna |
dear korinna, thank you so much for introducing yourself and telling your story. it reminds me that God is fully capable of bringing people out of Adventism without any help or prodding from me (down here, hello God, what about my ex-boyfriend and family). you can read my testimony at: www.geocities.com/donotloseyourfaith "do not lose your faith" is from one of my favorite songs, which became particularly poignant in my heartbreak. "Say to those who are fearful hearted, do not be afraid, the Lord your God is strong with His mighty arms when you call on His name. "Say to those who are broken hearted, do not lose your faith the Lord your God is strong with His loving arms when you call on His name. He will come and save ... He will come and save you say to the fearful one, Your God will surely come He will come and save you." tonight driving home, lost in my thoughts, as I often am, driving back from Los Angeles to my home, my thoughts grew sad thinking of the ones I loved and cared about still in SDAism, I asked God to show me, just a little bit something that He was working in my ex-b/f's life. and i think your testimony is it. my heart feels 100% lighter hearing how you were able to come out of SDAism. praise God. there is a whole bunch of stuff on my webpage, and it is quite fun (even for me) to pop around on it, reading on various things. love, Chyna | ||
| Nelda_church |
HI, I, too, am new to this forum. We came out of adventism last year after being members for 20+ years. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. When I learned that a new church member had withdrawn from our small sda church, I was shocked. I called her and asked her why. She said that she didn't want to lose my friendship and I assured her she would not. She then told me that she had been on the internet and found out that the sda religion was based on lies. Talk about being hit in the head with a 2x4. Of course, I asked her what site the hearsy was being taught>LOL I then proceeded to Truthorfables.com so that I could see what was being said and could save my friend from her folly of leaving the sda church. What and eye opener. I stayed on the computer for DAYS. I read everything printed. I then stunned my little world by withdrawing from the church as well. My children thought I had lost my mind as I had been a sda of the sda's. to almost quote Paul. My little female pope, idol, egw had fallen to the ground and I felt the weight of the world fall off my shoulders. While I was reading the info, in the back of my mind a still small voice was saying"for by grace are you saved through faith" Anyway, it has taken months of prayer to find a new church home. It has all been worth it. I give all the praise to GOD through our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen...Nelda | ||
| Valm |
Nelda, Welcome to FAF. I hope you find the support you need as a former as well as discussion that uplifts you. There are many fine people here to get to know. Did you entire household become formers? If so or if not, how has that been. What type of new church home did you end up in? I am the pokey sort and love to here people's journey. Once again, welcome. Valerie | ||
| Lydell |
Nelda, welcome! Isn't freedom sweet? Aren't you glad that lady was willing to speak with boldness. It's always fun to hear how God moved to get someone's attention. Hope you will post more. | ||
| Violet |
Dear Nelda, I as so glad you found us. Isn't is amazing how much you grow in such a short time when you allow the Holy Spirit to guide your studying instead of "your little pope". I like that. You are like me in that after 22 years as an SDA, born and raised, it all came together in the last few months. I am rejoycing today as last night I went through my mother's Bible, devout SDA died 3 years ago, and found verse after verse underlined about grace and she had hand written in "are the rightous judged--no" My heart lept with joy. She knew! it just confirms my commitment all the more that Jesus is in control and loves us so much that He allowed me to read those wonderful versed she underlined. Violet | ||
| Nelda_church |
Dear Violet, Isn't God good to lift your heart like that? I KNOW He loves us and cares about things that are important to us. We have attended many different churches in the past year. Baptist with my mom and friend. Methodist with someone else. Nothing was working and I'll admit, I began to despair. We watched televangelists and tapes. We had attended a Messianic Jewish church when we first came out of the sda church but I felt that they were too radical for me. After all, we had been in a very sedate literally dead) sda church, where if anyone had a differance of opinion the fight was on. SSoooooo, after months of praying, we attended it once more. Something clicked. The message the minister gave really spoke to my almost stone cold heart. Also, attending were ex-sda's who had been a principal and another (his wife) had been a school teacher in the sda school. To make a long story short, we began attending and now really look forward to church every week. No, I don't necessarially agree with everything. However, I don't find the judgemental, our way or the highway, mentality there. I praise God for the path He has led us in. It has been tough in some areas. Thankfully, all our children are out of the sda church. Although, some of them have not found a church and I don't know that they are looking, so I would covet prayers for them and us Thank you. Nelda | ||
| Chyna |
Dear Nelda, Thank you so much for posting and sharing your story with us. I was really blessed hearing it, and hope you continue to share with us what's going on in your life :), and I hope we can be a blessing to you too! in Him, Chyna | ||
| Therese |
Nelda, Welcome! I too was SDA 20 years. I'm still sorting it all out. Currently not attending any SDA church. Sporadically attending two non-denominational churches Not quite sure where to turn. Do you have any teenagers? I have a 17 year old son. Not quite sure what impact all this will have on him. All his life we drilled into him that SDA was the truth. Now do we say it was wrong? We still keep the sabbath and are requiring him to also. He has gotten quite involved in a non-denominational youth group. Any one with advise on dealing with teens in this situation? Thanks. Therese | ||
| Valm |
Messianic!! They are a lively group!!! Quite honestly if they were within my husbands comfort level, I'd be there every Friday night. Cool. Valerie | ||
| Chyna |
Dear Therese, As one not too too far off from being a teenager myself, my advice is to honestly talk to him about what you believed before point by point, and what you believe now, and what exactly has caused you to change. It's great that he's involved with a church group, many of his questions can be answered there. It's important that he understand why leaving Adventism is best. Ask him how he feels about leaving Adventism etc. I guess the important part is to stress that you're trying to follow God's word, and that has been consistent for you and your family your entire lives. Yes, being in the Adventist church conflicts directly with many parts of God's Word, as well as God's spirit of unconditional love. Something I heard on TV made sense to me. You can't just move away from something, but you also have to move towards something, in your case grace-based living :). in Hm, Chyna | ||
| Colleentinker |
Welcome, Nelda! It's really good to see you here! I'm glad you have found a place to worship. I've been praying for you and your husband. I look forward to participating with you on this forum (when I'm able to get here!) Colleen |
