| Author | Message | ||
| Brianglass |
Hello all. I live in Onsted Michigan. Onsted is kinda in the middle of Jackson, Ann Arbor, and Toledo. Currently, I and my wife attend the Adrian SDA church. I have rejected most of Adventism's distinctive teachings, but continue to attend there for my wife's sake. However, I think she would be willing to attend another church if it were to meet on Saturdays. I am looking for other "former" SDA's in my area who would be interested in meeting together for a weekly study or ad hoc church. If you wish to contact me directly, my email is brian@glassbrian.com. Thanks. Brian Glass | ||
| Lydell |
Brian, can't encourage you enough to do what you can to get your wife out there in direct contact with Christians from other churches. Look to concerts, community Bible studies, coffee shops, volunteer work, talks by visiting missionaries,or whatever. Getting to know some of "them" will help her come to understand that it is safe to fellowship with them. And gradually help her come to see that they just may have a thing or two to teach her. | ||
| Doug222 |
Brian, When I first began having doubts about some of the SDA teachings, a friend and I entertained the idea of starting our own ad hoc church. Now, a year later, I see that would have been the worse possible move I could have made. I have been attending a non-denominational church and have been amazed as I worship with others who have not been indoctrinated in the same manner that I have. Now I see that to have formed our own little group would have beeen like the blind leading the blind. I needed a fresh perspective. Now two other quasi former Adventists are attending church with me. We are attending a "Christianity 101" class once a week. Brian, I have never heard the gospel shared like this. Its like water to my soul. Last night, one of the friends remarked, "I feel like I am a new Christian." I couldn't agree more. If you want to grow, I think it is absolutely essential to place yourself in the midst of those who have not had the same experiences as you. I know I will probably get blasted by those who attend the FOrmer Adventist Fellowship in Redlands (sorry Coleen), but those are just my thoughts. In His Grace Doug | ||
| In_his_service |
Brian, I know your problem. I am from the same general area, so understand the Adventist culture there. I also have a wife who is decidedly into Seventh day Sabatarianism, although she can't show reasons for it. It's "the way it is" and that's THAT! I have joined a great church that teaches the Gospel, and ONLY the gospel. The difference is unbelievable in my soul. Leaving Adventism is not just about NOT believing certain things they believe. The difference is finding the peace and joy and freedom of the gospel, opposed to the bondage and guilt of legalism. The difference is LIFE! Now, all I can do is try to show through love, patience, ane prayer, what she has missed all these years. In time, the Spirit will show her the way. Follow your faith, not the traditions of the past. It's hard, but Jesus promised to be with you every step of the way. Nearly all of my family are still in Adventism. Some in churches very close to you. I pray for them each day. I really grieve for them. They have missed so much. May God's Spirit bring you to the truth as it is, not the way you think it should be, or have been taught it is. <>< | ||
| Brianglass |
Thank you all for your advice. Here's a little more of my story for background. I have considered myself to be a "former" Adventist for the last 2-3 years. My wife has known this and was the principle of the local school. I had repeatedly expressed my frustration and desire to have my membership dropped. She told me to go ahead that it didn't make any difference to her. Her mother was an SDA teacher with a non-Adventist husband and she didn't see why me dropping my membership would have any impact on her career. I told her that I would remain closeted while she was employed by the conference - for her job's sake. Last year we decided that she should quit her job to stay home with the kids (the second one's due in November). When she quit, I went public and set up my webpage (www.glassbrian.com) focused on my study of the Bible vs SDAism. She had intended to continue volunteer help at the school, but she has now been ostracized by those running the school. They no longer even want her to be seen at the school. This after she was principle there for 4 years. She had expected that my beliefs would not impact her job, but she is now finding that such is not true (I hate to say it, but "I told her so"). It is very frustrating to her. Actually, we're not sure if it's my beliefs which have gotten her ostracized or her recent ear piercing. We're still trying to figure that out. We attended a new church this past Sunday. The service style is similar to the style of the Willow Creek church (we have attended Willow Creek 3 times now) and she loved the service (as did I). The music was great and the sermon was exactly what we needed. She has decided that she would like to continue attending there. However, she is still concerned about keeping the Sabbath. And does not want to abandon our current SDA church friends and duties (She is pathfinder director. I am the youth class director (I'm still trying to figure out why they let me do that)). I feel no need to keep the Sabbath anymore, but I don't want to be like an Adventist and insist that she has to believe the same as I do in order to be right. She needs to do what her conscience tells her to do. Currently she is reading some of my papers on the Sabbath and such (which she had not done before) in an effort to understand what she is being ostracized for. For the time being, we need something to make the transition smooth. She wants to continue keeping the Sabbath at this point in time so we will continue to do that. I think it would be beneficial for her to associate with transitioning or former Adventists right now. Meanwhile we will continue to attend our new non-SDA church. I think you are correct Doug. It would be a mistake to start a church made of former SDAs. However, I do believe it would be beneficial for recovering SDAs to meet together to support each other (while concurrently attending a non-SDA church). | ||
| Sherry2 |
Yep, agree with you Doug. You do grow with being with those who don't have this baggage. My friends here where I go are just shocked about some of the stuff. They can't fathom it. And I hear your concerns as well Brian. There is a sabbatarian ring that lists churches in different areas that are sabbatarian. That may be helpful in the transition. I'll go see what I can come up with. Me and mine are from Grand Rapids. We were just down to see the Cascades in Jackson. Beautiful. Anyhow, I'll see what I can find. You might also find some big churches in your area that have a Sat. night program. My husband did that with me for a while when he was very uncomfortable with going on Sundays. It was great. So try calling around to your bigger undenominations and asking if they have a Sat. night program (you know, it sort-of feels like vespers for us formers :) ), or if they know a church that does. | ||
| Colleentinker |
I agree with you too, Doug. Our Friday night fellowship is not church, and it doesn't take the place of church for anyone who attends. It is, truly, strictly a weekly Bible study, and our purpose is to provide a safe place where people who are leaving or who have left but have not found themselves established in a church can come and find Bible study and ask questions of people who have already walked the road out. This forum is a classic example of the kinds of issues people struggle with as they leave. Our Friday meetings address these struggles as they emerge in the context of Bible study but do not focus on those struggles. We are studying complete books of the Bible systematically and inductively, and as we study, almost everyone who has attended has found that the Bible is pointing out errors they've held in their minds. We encourage those who attend our fellowship to find a local Bible-based church and to become actively involved in Bible study there. Our Friday evening meetings are a transitional place; almost everyone who attends eventually moves on as they become established in a church. Think of our Friday meetings as an expansion of this forum with even more of an emphasis on Bible study than we have here. (Our weekly studies are posted on this site.) I would never encourage someone to leave Adventism and begin worshiping with former Adventists exclusively. Those of us who provide the core group of our study are all actively involved in a local church (not all in the same one, either), and actively involved in small Bible study groups at church. Leaving Adventism is much like leaving a classic cult. It takes two to five years (more or less) to debrief and to become stabilized and established in a Christian community. Our Friday night group is for people who are in that transitional period and need the support of those who understand. The truly interesting thing about our group is that it has taught us so much about the body of Christ. The idea of everyone having distinct jobs and gifts, of everyone rejoicing and suffering with each other has been an amazing revelation to us. But it is not church. I absolutely believe that anyone who has decided to leave Adventism must find a Bible-teaching church and become an active attender. Sherry's suggestion, Brian, about finding a Saturday night service is a good one. It is an amazing experience to find people you don't know with backgrounds you haven't had who hold you in prayer and with whom you experience unity in the Spirit. The Bible and Christianity become even more real! Colleen | ||
| Dennis |
EARTHQUAKE IN NEBRASKA! My wife and I will soon celebrate our first anniversary of FREEDOM DAY(the day our SDA membership was officially removed). This has truly been the most wonderful year in our lives. We are active in a large Evangelical Free Church. Every week we enjoy Sunday School, small group ministries, and the worship services. Yes, we have even learned to appreciate contemporary praise music--being we have something worth celebrating now. Our personal library contained dozens (even hundreds) of Adventist books. Without doubt, our book collection had a distinct aura of literary imbalance, not to mention the obvious spiritual implications. Being I have an online ministry geared toward Adventists, I reasoned that I must keep them for research purposes. Oftentimes, however, visitors to our home, wondered why we still have all those SDA books. Some friends even suggested we place "warning labels" inside each Adventist book and/or place them in boxes in the furnace room. All these plans, excuses, and ideas changed abruptly, when we learned that SDA relatives are planning to visit us soon. It took two days to sort them out. We finally arrived at the point in our Christian journey, when we no longer wanted these books to remind us of our past deception. We could not, in good conscience, give them to anyone else either. Furthermore, many of these books I used to sell and promote as a publishing department leader. We greatly love books, so to depart with any printed page was almost unthinkable. Yes, you guessed it! We threw them all into our trash dumpster. We don't have a fireplace, and outdoor burning is illegal in our community. The trash dumpster was so heavy, I could hardly push it to our curb for pickup the next morning. So, at around 8 AM, as we were scurrying around to eat breakfast and get to work, we heard this intense, LOUD CRASH outside our home as we bid farewell to our Adventist library. I was somewhat concerned the dumpster would crack from the excessive weight as it was mechanically-hoisted into the garbage truck. It all ended well. The curbside "earthquake" was over! Thank God, we are free at last! Free in Christ, Dennis J. Fischer | ||
| Colleentinker |
Dennis, I am grinning as I remember the amazing freedom we felt when we burned--yes, burned--our EGW books in the fireplace a couple years ago! Like you, we were keeping them for "reference". One day Richard said, "We don't need those. If we believe they were inspired by a false prophet, we just don't need them in our house." It took us two days to get rid of them in the fireplace (also like you, we didn't want anyone else to get ahold of them), and what a sense of freedom we experienced! You'll always remember that LOUD CRASH! Praise God! Colleen | ||
| Windmotion |
Brian, my family attends the Bedford Christian and Missionary Alliance Church on Jackman Road, which is just a few minutes off of US 23 in Lambertville not too far from the Ohio border. I don't know how close you are to this church, but I can tell you it is a very alive, growing, welcoming church. I don't know if you are looking for another church, but this one is worth checking out!! The Holy Spirit is present in this church. If you are interested, e-mail me at bardmusic.cs.com. My dad was an elder in the church recently, but I don't think he is now. Anyways, I know they would love to have you!! --Hannah | ||
| Lydell |
Congrats Dennis! I know that was an incredibly freeing crash that you heard.....hm, maybe it was so loud because there were some heavenly cymbals clashing in celebration as well. Sorry you couldn't do the burning thing, tho. It was fun! | ||
| Sherry2 |
Amen and Halleluiaj! Congrats on your first year anniversary. It is an awesome feeling, isn't it? :) To be free indeed in the arms of Jesus! | ||
| Bmorgan |
Dennis, I remember the day-a little over a year ago- that we cleaned out our bookshelves_book, tapes, magazines, memory verse cards, everything that had an Adventist "scent" on it. My husband looked at the pile and said, "Wow, I am sure we've spent thousands of dollars on those." However, he proceeded to "throw" them out of the house. We felt a deep peace and a burden lifted from us the day threw those things out of our home. Throwing away and or burning books, is so unthinkable, yet, we do it with pleasure. We have not done the burning yet. They are stored away as far from the house as possible. We wait for the county's burn ban to be lifted. I look forward to start the bonfire. Like the Ephesians, our reverence for God so compels us, that we can burn the books with no regard for the monies we spent buying them. Way to go, Dennis! | ||
| Windmotion |
Please pray for my husband, as some of you may remember, he is borderline adventist, wanting to leave but not knowing where to go if he does. He has "left" many times before but has slipped into agonsticism and has ended up going back to the sda church. The main issue for him has always been the sabbath, which is odd since he hasn't even made an attempt to keep the sabbath for about a year. Anyway, he is working with a Christian individual who is being a positive witness, and he is thinking he wants to give Christianity another try. He works Sunday mornings now, so if he could have those off, it would really help. I feel like I have screwed things up so often as far as trying to point him in the right direction and i so don't want to mess up now. He has been confused about adventism for about three years. Please pray for me and for him. His name is David. --Hannah | ||
| Colleentinker |
Hannah, of course we'll pray. I've been praying for you and him anyway, but thank you for giving us something specific to pray about. Colleen | ||
| Lydell |
Well Hannah, until his work schedule changes, maybe you can get him into a service on Sunday evening or Wednesday evening. He certainly shouldn't be able to come up with the "sabbath" excuse when it is on Wednesday! Besides, the numbers in attendance are always smaller in a mid-week service. You will find that the folks there are usually even more friendly and usually are the ones in the church who are most on fire for God. | ||
| In_his_service |
Hannah, I know your problem. I've been dealing with the same one, with my wife for nearly two decades. The best that ever can be done is to pray, and let the spirit move. I'll pray for you, if you'll pray for me. Heck, I'll pray for you even if you DON'T pray for me. <>< | ||
| Lynnw |
Hannah, You might pray that the LORD will lead you to a good Biblical church that meets both Sat. eve and Sun. morning. They are getting ever more common and many a wavering SDA will attend on Sat. night. He will hear the straight Gospel without all that Eg White attached. Could be a step in the right direction. Lord Bless you. | ||
| Brianglass |
I'm now struggling with making the decision to have my name dropped from SDA church membership. I'd like to hear other people's opinions on this. There is an issue that is still holding me back. Currently, I am the youth teacher at the SDA church I attend. The pastor and several others know my position on SDA teachings, but have not done anything to remove me from this position. As of now, I have this position for another 9 months. Should I drop my membership now and explain it to them (the youth)? Or should I continue teaching for the remainder of my term? Should I even tell the youth? I don't want to turn them off to Christianity in general. Should I finish out my year and quietly drop my membership, or should I make it widely known? Or should I just not even bother dropping my membership and attempt to minister to these SDAs. I want to be a witness here, but I don't want to destroy somebody's Christian walk either. Neither do I want to make life hard for my wife. But I just don't feel right maintaining a membership there. - Brian Glass | ||
| Doug222 |
Brian, You ask some difficult questions. They are questions that no one else can answer for you. I am in a similar situation. I guess the main question you have to ask yourself is "am I being used of God here?" You mention that you do not want to turn the youth off to Christianity or to "destroy somebody's Christian walk." How would your staying or leaving do that? My experience is that the SDA message is so institutionalized, that it is almost impossible (nothing is impossible with God) for a person to make a difference corporately, however you might be making a difference individually. If you are teaching the youth, and you are actually introducing them to a relationship with Jesus, and helping them to understand their standing in Christ, then I would encourage you to stay as involved as you can. God obviously has a great work for you to do. If you leave, they will be left to fend for themselves--with the aid of a few well meaning (but misdirected) new teachers. On the other hand, if you find yourself simply perpetuating the Adventist myth, then by your presence you are giving assent to your belief in "the lie" and this is not serving anyone's interests. Give it much thought and prayer. I will pray that God gives you foresight and direction. Keep us posted on your decision and what happend. In His Grace, Doug |
