| Author | Message | ||
| Doug222 |
Hello all. I want to thank each of you for your prayers and support over the last week or so. I am doing fairly well with my decision, however a friend who also is making the transition is having a significantly more difficult time. She has registered and is waiting for an account, but needs support/answers now, so I am allowing her to use my account to post the following question. Doug: Hi, I've been an sda since my conception. My parents and family are "traditional" sda's. My experience with church up to this point has been pretty ritualistic lacking in spiritual significance. For years, I've endured much emptiness, and frustration in my attempts to make my religious experience relevant to my life. Recently, I made a decision to leave the sda church. I realized that my chances of ever getting to know Jesus there was pretty slim due to the very strong legalistic and grace-depraved atmosphere. I've found a nondenominational church who is helping me to connect with Jesus. I,m beginning to feel alive for the first time in my life. Since I've disclosed my decision to leave the sda church with my parents, they have been grief-striken. My father who is almost 80 and blind told me that I've hurt him more than any of his children and that I'm going to send him to an early grave. Today I found my father in tears, he said that he was praying that I would come back to God and back to the church. I've never seen my Dad cry and that was hard. My Mom has been crying for weeks. She said that I am joining up with the "mark of the beast" people and is concerned about my salvation. Seems like they have both aged since my decision. They are both elderly and not in the best of health. I am concenred about the impact my decision will have on them. My brother, who is the pastor of the sda church I attended was mostly non-judgemental however cautioned me this decision could not have come at a worst time in my parents life. Both my brother and another friend have told me that it wouldn't hurt anything for me to continue attending the sda church for my parent's benefit. All along I've felt pretty certain of the choice I've made but today I'm having some doubts and I don't want to hurt my parents anymore. I know if I went back to sda, my parents anxiety and grief would subside tremendously. I don't know what to do. Any thoughts on my delimma (sp)? thanks, gracie | ||
| Colleentinker |
Gracie, Welcome! BTW, Richard will sign you up tomorrow. I recognize and sympathize with the circumstances you're experiencing. First, I'll just say this: it's hard to realize, especially when we're firmly adults and there's no going backwards, that we aren't responsible for our parents' happiness. God asks us to honor them, but nowhere does the Bible say we must (or can!) keep them happy. Just as we are ultimately answerable only to God for our decisions, so are our parents. An implicit part of the command for a man to leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife (or vice-versa) is the expectation that parents will trust God with their adult children. When we are adults, we are accountable to God for our integrity and our decisions. Second, God knows how to comfort them and you. Jesus said he did not come to bring peace but a sword. He said parents and children and in-laws would be turned against each other because of the gospel. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 1:2-7 that we suffer so we will experience God's comfort, and His comfort overflows to each other. When we suffer for the sake of Jesus, He fills us fuller than our loved ones could fill us. Third, everyone I know has experienced these profound pangs of doubt. Those are inevitable attacks from Satan who doesn't want us to embrace the truth. Once you see that Adventism really isn't Biblical and is based on deception, continuing to attend for cultural or social reason has no more appeal. God asks us to trust him. He wants to reveal truth. to us, and he wants to strengthen us to embrace it regardless of the cost. Your parents may or may not get over their grief and weeping. You can ask God to comfort them, and you can ask him to show you how to love them for him. Ask him also to strengthen you against doubt and to establish you in his love. God knows how your parents feel, and he wants to comfort them and reveal himself to them, too. Praise God that he loves you and has chosen you, and praise God for your parents and for what he will do in their lives. Praise God that you are finding freedom in his grace! You will survive, and God will honor your integrity in choosing to follow him when he leads. Again, welcome, and you'll be welcomed officially tomorrow! With prayers for you, Colleen | ||
| In_his_service |
Gracie, Adventism is a religion based on guilt. For this reason, it's no surprise that your parents feel guilt and pain that you have chosen to leave. I am sure that they are being MADE to feel guilty. I remember the pain that my mom, also in her 80's felt when I was no longer part of the SDA organization. Place yourself in the hands of Jesus and the Spirit. Place THEM in His hands, as well. Show them through your actions what the real love of Jesus feels like and looks like. Before my mom's death, she expressed surprise that I really 'seemed to have a real walk with the Lord', even though she never did understand why I left. Shortly before she went home, it was I who introduced her to the real Gospel, not the three Adventist preachers who stood around her and NEVER offered a word of assurance as to her salvation. Gos is in charge of ALL things. He never tells us to understand......only follow Him! May His grace be with you always. Jesus is sufficient for all of us. Enjoy Him. He loves you and He loves your mom and dad, too. If they are elderly and in bad health, they NEED the love of Christ that they will never find in an Adventist situation. Love them to pieces, for Christ's sake! In His Grip Thomas <>< | ||
| Sabra |
Gracie, I had the same experience with my mom. She told me that I have broken her heart and that she worked 2 and 3 jobs to put me through Adventist schools and that I have been deceived etc, etc... Now she is seeing that my life is changed, she commented that I am closer to God than I've ever been and at first said that my Bible study would lead me to the truth of the Sabbath. When she was here for Christmas she said that she is no longer praying for me to find the Sabbath but the TRUTH whatever it is. This is evidence that I have had an influence in her thinking of truth. Try to explain to your parents that you are searching for a meaningful relationship with Jesus that you haven't had and that you are trusting in the Holy Spirit to show you truth. If they can see that your desire to follow Jesus is genuine at least they may be able to have faith that your studies will lead you in the right direction-even though you know what direction they think it will lead- All we can dois show them that we love them and that our decision has nothing to do with our love for them and try to be a light to them. Keep praying and God will give you strenghth. I sympathize with you, know that you are being led by the Spirit and your decision is a result of that. Best to you, Sabra | ||
| Lydell |
Hi Gracie! Thrilled for you to have found truth. And saddened that you are having this trouble. Will be praying for you. Colleen's and Thomas' answers to you were absolutely right on the mark. You cannot chose happiness for another, no matter how much you love them. You know, your reply to your brother should be, "oh, so what you are saying is God WANTS me to bear false witness while supposedly keeping the commandment to honor our parents your way? So I'm right in my understanding that it is impossible for man to perfectly keep the law of God and I need a Saviour." Well, stop and think about it, isn't that what he has just told you? You should take that as comfirmation of your decision Gracie! Really Gracie, stop and think about what you would be testifying if you followed thru on his idea. You would be testifying to your family, those who know them, your neighbors, and others that God DOES require man to keep the sabbath day to be saved. Is that what you want to accomplish? My advise to you will be to flatly, but kindly refuse to be involved in arguments about "keeping the sabbath day" or "keeping the commandments" or any of the SDA hot buttons. You know their minds aren't open, so there is no use in even going there. It will only add to the turmoil. Stick instead to the topics that SHOULD be common ground for all believers. "Hey dad, when you pray for people, how do you pray for everyone? Do you pick one day to pray just for family, then another day to pray just for your friends and neighbors? or do you just pray for people having a particular type of problem all at once? Or do you just pray as God brings them to mind?" Or, "hey mom, you know what the Lord has been showing me this week? It's the number of ways that I can demonstrate His love each day! Like, being patient with that new cashier at the grocery and telling her before I leave that I'll be praying the Lord gives her an easy adjustment to the new job. Or telling the lady at the bank that the Lord has given her a lovely family after noticing the picture of her kids." Share with them the insights about God's love you are getting from the scriptures. What is He showing you it means when we are told He is our shepherd? These are things that shouldn't annoy them. And if they do, well, then you will be tipped off that your battleground of prayer for them should involve their receiving Christ, not just receiving your decision. Jesus tells us that the gospel is the treasure in the the abandon, neglected field. He tells us that His gospel is the pearl of great price. In relating these parables to us, Christ firmly challenges those who would be His disciples to commit their all to the gospel of salvation. Remember that He also assures us that joy will be the result. For some, it is very difficult for them to liquidate their attachments to family and the world so as lay claim to the priceless treasures. But we have the assurance that even Jesus had to make the same choices when these areas of His life came into conflict with His high calling. Isn't that comforting? "For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin." Hebrews 4:15 Jesus tells us "Whoever loves father, mother, son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of me." Keep your perspective. If the angels of heaven rejoice and party when one sinner comes home, how much more should you be rejoicing if you are a that sinner? One more point Gracie. What you are facing is not an unusual thing that applies only for an SDA leaving the church. My husband was raised in a family of unbelievers. When he announced that he had accepted Christ as His saviour, his mom's reply was to burst into tears and sob, "what do you need Jesus for? Haven't we always given you all the love you need?" The atmosphere was way beyond ugly at his house for a long time. |
