| Author | Message | ||
| Denisegilmore (Denisegilmore) |
States Reduce Services, Drop many from Medicaid Rolls USA Today More than 1 million low-income Americans have lost or might lose government-subsidized health care as states try to contain rapidly escalating costs. http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2003-03-11-medicaid-usat_x.htm It's hard to get a ride to Church and it's hard to get proper medical care.....What next? | ||
| Gene (Gene) |
I've read that the gap between the haves and the have-nots is rapidly increasing in this country. Our manufacturing has been sent overseas, and all of us shop at those big stores - WalMart, Kmart, et al - whose products are largely manufactured overseas. A successful professional or businessman isn't going to carry high-interest credit cards, or pay 18% for a mortgage, but guess who does? The have-nots that are trying to keep pace. The payday loan businesses in my state made $42,000,000 last year. How much more did credit card companies and finance companies suck out of the budgets of low income families? I live in a great neighborhood, but across the street is a rescue mission. I've been blessed in getting to hear some stories from some of those guys. At one time, a lot of them had successful lives, but once one gets kicked into the dirt by a business failure, a divorce, or other catastrophe, it's getting harder and harder to get a new start. | ||
| Denisegilmore (Denisegilmore) |
Gene, Not only is this taking from the have nots but this part of that article really is disturbing: "His (meaning Bush's) plan would give governors wide power to restrict benefits, charge new fees, put people in private health plans and add or subtract groups of patients. But the proposals have drawn a cool reaction from some governors who fear the result will be less money in the long run." I'm wondering just what "groups of patients will be subtracted." Somehow, I'm seeing the 3rd Reicht in all of this. Not only Jews were slaughtered without thought but it was the disabled, the un-able to work, the seniors that were "disposed" of during Hitlers reign as well. I recieve Medi-cal and it pays for my life saving medications. Just less than 6 months ago I acquired a Tar that pays for my meds. However, before that, the cost was on me and it exceeded $150.00 per month out of my disability (very low amount) check. Now, I'm on even more meds so this is a frightening and even life endangering idea of our government. One thing that has already been knocked out was the ONLY thing that helps this disorder I have and is progressing, is Botox. In most cases right now, it is still being given, however, the news just came out this week that it will be very limited or may not be available at all to people in low income brackets like myself. That was my only hope next to brain surgery (DBS=deep brain stimulation) and even that may not be covered now.....we'll see. Another thing in that article was this line: "But Massachusetts' Medicaid program stopped covering prosthetic care Jan. 1." I have full length leg braces that require continued adjustments as my body is changing it's structure. If this coverage is eliminated, this is a real tragedy too and considering that these leg braces cost over $6000.00 (you read that right, over six thousand dollars), then what a waste of money if they become useless. And how do I walk when this gets to the point that they are needed just to stand. Yes, I do have my electric wheelchair, but will the life-time warranty on that also be cut? Let's pray not as that is my and many other peoples way of getting just down the hallway. Notice the seniors are also affected and even though that article states that nobody wants to cut the seniors, I wouldn't put it past our government. I know my words are very cynical but having just spent almost 4 years trying to get proper medical care and finally am getting "some" of what was needed a long time ago, I'm a bit set back by 'Hope being pulled right out from under me.' You are right Gene, taking from the 'have nots' is exactly what has been done for years and it's only getting worse. This is where the Church really needs to pay attention to us 'have nots' and perhaps begin thinking in terms of the Christians in the United States FIRST before sending their monies over seas. We are dying right in your back yards. Recently I just lost a friend in her late 40s who was neglected by our government and our Churches. She suffered from what I currently suffer from and lived downstairs from me. That was a sad life to watch and currently I'm living but following in her footsteps. My own great aunt died due to her medication no longer being covered and the cost of it was so high that she could not afford it. Yes, I've seen it and have lived it until recently, but now, my hope is being dismantled day by day. May the Churches in America, see with their eyes. And do not suppose that I'm opposed to helping other countries (infact I wanted to be a missionary overseas), however, I believe this help should begin in the United States of America. Yes, preach the Gospel around the world, that is most of all important. But practical help should begin (not end) here in America. Our Churches are mezmorized by building bigger and better looking buildings, by pay raises for the Pastors and other services such as airplane trips, rather than buses, by hotel rooms, by opening several services in the Churches for 'entertainment,' by the purchasing of new clothing, shoes, and other un-necessary items that they forget that people need medical supplies, whether that be in services or meds or both. This is a truism for I've witnessed too much of this that I'm appalled by it all. Will our 'brothers and sisters' in Christ rise to the call? Or will they remain apathetic and turn a blind eye and a deaf ear. As to the 'payday loan' companies, I have experience in that as well. Just two years ago I had to turn to them for help but was being charged such high interest rates that the Church did help me out of that crunch (thank God!). But the ending of all that was this, because they were literally taking it from my checking account with "added costs" that remain un-named to this day, the bank also decided to jump in on the plunder and began omitting funds that were in my account. Upon calling the bank, they had no answer as to where my funds went. This went on until finally, after much stress and trying to fight this injustice, an attorney was secured for me by someone else and this attorney was very very enraged at what the bank was doing. Turns out that this bank and the payday loan was doing this to many low income people knowing we didn't have the funds nor means to fight them. So, this attorney had me close my account after so many years with this bank. He wanted me to get all the monies back that this bank and the loan company had literally stolen from me but I told him no, that I don't want that, I just want the theft to stop. So I didn't pursue getting back thousands of dollars that they had taken. Number one, because I don't sue, it goes against God's Word as far as my reading of it goes. So I stuck with God's Word. But at least now, the bank is not stealing from me and cannot, plus the payday loan company cannot continue to harrass me with unwarranted fees. Now, looks like I'll be fighting just to get medicine to save my life and medical needs that are much needed. We'll see huh? Gene, pray for all those who are in the category above wherein justice does not seem to reside. Also, pray for God to give to the hearts of His Children, compassion for the poor, sick and elderly--here in America FIRST. But let us always preach the Gospel around the world! For it is the Gospel unto Salvation! Praise God! Peace to your household, Denise Gilmore | ||
| Doug222 (Doug222) |
Denise, It sounds like you have dealt with obstacles that many of us canno even begin to imagine. I am sorry to hear about that. You mentioned the unwillingness of the church to help. Are you saying that you presented ththe specific nature of your problem to them and that they refused to help or are you saying that the church does not have the mechanisms in place to help people like yourself? I know that you are speaking of a topic that Larry Burkett, the Christian Financial Counselor, has strong feelings about. He says that we have abdicated the responsibilities of the church to the government. Some say that the existence of a social welfare system in our country (that is funded by our tax dollars), makes churches feel less responsible for caring for the sick and poor among us because we already "gave at the office." Another thing Larry is big on is letting your church know about your problems. He says that many people "suffer in silence," beliving that the situation is hopeless, but that there are many Christians who would be more than happy to help, if they only knew about the need. The question he frequently asks is, "if you knew someone who was in your situation, and you had the resources to help, wouldn't you?" Of course everyone says that they would. He then says, that there are many people out there who feel the same way, but you have to let your needs be known. I think the thing that disturbs me the most is that you say that you have difficulty even getting a ride to church. That should not be! If you are experiencing that problem (and have made it known to the ladership in the church), then it might be time to start looking for another church. I believe it is important for a church to teach truth, but it is just as important for them to practice truth as well. That is not saying a church needs to be perfect, but they need to have the right trajectory. WHat you describe is anything but that. In His Grace Doug | ||
| Denisegilmore (Denisegilmore) |
Dear Doug, Thank you for addressing this issue. When you asked me if the Church is unwilling to help, I need to clarify one point that I did post to Gene. That a few years back, while being robbed blind by the payday loan company and others, plus the bank (which put me in dire straits with my utilities and other such things as personal debts), the Church did indeed help. For that I'm forever grateful as I would be dead right now had they not. And I was not nor am now a member of that Church. God Bless them! However, then and since then, my medical needs posed another problem for me and because I wasn't a "member" of any "denomination," I did not ask nor let that same Church know of this issue of medicines. Somehow I felt as though they had already helped me in such a great way that asking for yet more help would be seen as "taking advantage" of them. So, I, as was mentioned above, "suffered in silence." I don't know who this Larry Burkett is but he is absolutely right. Recently, before I acquired a tar for my meds, my need was made known to some Christians and they told me they could not help. However, they did go to great lengths in telling me that they were trying to raise another $23,000.00 for a new Church building and asked me if there were any items I could shed for some of their "yard sales." Of course I did get out many things for their "yard sale" to help them but they never came by to pick them up. And while they were raising the monies for a "new church" this put me in a terrible position as the meds I need are life saving meds. My choice was to go back to the payday loan companies, wherein I'd be right back in the terrible position I was in a few years back or start barrowing from everyone that I knew, in order to get my meds. I barrowed and came up with enough monies to save my life "that month." The next month, not only was I paying back the monies I had barrowed but again was barrowing from yet more others to obtain my meds for that month! This was an awful situation and I literally went hungry for several days. Not being a "member" of any denomination makes it very hard to acquire help from the Churches. And yet, still I've no desire to be a "member" per sae to any denomination but am already a "member" of God's Universal Church. These days, the trend goes something like this: If you are not a "member" of "their denomination," they, the Christians, do not feel in any way that they should help you. However, should I "join" their "denomination," then it appears (can't say I have experience in this but have only witnessed this part) that they will go out of their way to help. So, being a Christian doesn't constitute "being a member." In other words, it appears that "being a member" hold more weight and you are seen as a Christian "only" if you are a member of their congregation/denomination. The same is true with trying to secure a ride to Church. Because I'm not a "member" of any particular denomination, then I'm the "invisible woman." Even in the beginning of my Church going in 1999, I was baptized but did not wish to become a member. However, my activity in that same Church was very much. I was a "pathfinder" teachers aid for 5th and 6th graders, a member of the "bell choir," attended everyweek for Sunday school and the Worship services, went to the lunches after services, was the "bus captain" as we went from place to place to pick up the unfortunate children who had parents not interested in God nor Church attendance, went to the every Tuesday Bible studies in a persons home and was there every Wednesday night for prayer meeting for the sick. I also helped the seniors in many ways such as the invalid, or simply house cleaning for them and I refused pay. I wasn't doing it for pay but because of the love I felt for them. Also, I was finally allowed to be on the evangelistic team but that was short lived as they said I had "too much zeal." (which is why I started a thread called "can one be overzealous for God?" or something like that). I switched Churches and at the SDA Church, not a member there either, went every Sabbath, had vespur service, went to the potlucks and had many Bible studies, some of which I conducted, became a total vegetarian, got rid of all my jewelry (most of it sentimental), and did "almost" all the other requirements to be a SDA but was refused baptism due to many reasons that are listed on another thread. Since the Bible held sway over their teachings, I left and let God Himself teach me with spirts of going to different Churches in that time. In all these Churches, my difficulty was getting there, with an exception of the SDA Church. The SDA Pastor actually made a personal visit to my home (the first and only pastor to ever do such a kind thing) and he arranged for me a ride. This is how I met Arleta. She was my ride! <grin> Now, I'm sure in all these Churches, that they mean well. However, they are putting "membership" to their "denomination" as the first rule of thumb in counting you worthy of help in any way. With, as mentioned above, an exception of the one Church that helped me out of such a terrible position I was in at that time. Still, getting a ride or medicines (if it comes back to that again when the government deems me unfit to live), is ignored. Even my neighbors go to Church and I've asked them if they'd take me with them the next week and they will not because of my dress style, my smoking and frankly because I do not fit in with their "clique" and will embarass them as I am now a "cripple" to top all that off. Many Christians live in this building, yet to take me to Church is not an option for them and I wouldn't ask them for any help from their Churches if they are representatives of their Church's mindset. I know the answer would be a resounding "no." In your last paragraph Doug, you mentioned that I need to mention this to the leadership. My question to you is "how can I do that without getting to the Church?" FIRST I need to get a ride to Church to present my needs and as it is now, I have my electric wheelchair for transportation. The closest church to me is a Mormon Church and that is out of the question. Also, I cannot take this wheelchair out if it is raining, it will ruin the motors. And summer is coming and the heat is tremendously bad for my ailment. Recently I did fight the city counsel in this area, attending many meetings just to get these roads repaired and sidewalks put in for us in wheelchairs. However, they are also all talk and have not yet repaired nor installed sidewalks in many places. Infact, they've not started at all in the repairs. And I took 80 pictures to the Meyer himself and had an hour with him alone. Alot of talk but no action thus far. So, I did the only thing I knew to do, that is, ride my electric wheelchair everywhere I could, with all my strength (for the pain is unbearable) and was even pulled over by policemen with their spotlights on me and red, blue lights. One time it was 3 police cars at once. The first policeman got out of his car and stood afar off from me, the second policeman stood at his car with his hand on his weapon and the third policeman stayed in his car! We had somewhat of a showdown. The spotlight was blinding me on this road that is very narrow and has no sidewalks, plus it is full of pit holes that were so deep that some of them, my two horse power wheelchair had a heck of a time climbing out of. The showdown was that they were blinding me and out of frustration and anger at what they were doing (which I couldn't believe), I turned my light on the eyes of the first policeman who was blinding me with his spotlight! He relented and turned his off as I was also blinding him. When he got out of his car, you would have thought I was the "unibomber" in the way they acted. So my first line was "That's a fine how do ya do! Blinding a woman in a wheelchair!" Then I went on and looked up into the sky at the stars and said "BEAUTIFUL night for a drive, isn't it officers?" Of course, they didn't know what to make of me. I'm sure they thought I was a real nutcase as my next move was this: because it was such a very cold night and my little pair of gloves were not doing the trick at keeping my hands from freezing, I had remembered a pair of white tube socks that I carried around for a spare pair. I had put those over my little clothe gloves to help warm my freezing hands. So, with all the flare I could muster I raised my hands up and exclaimed "Don't ya just love this new look!? I know it's nothing pretty to look at but it sure does the trick!" Well, as you can imagine, these policemen really didn't quite know what to think of me but my humor had calmed them down and now the first one approached me. He said "Ma'am, it's dangerous out here!" I said "I know! What in the world are you doing out here?" See, I happened to be on reservation land and the policemen are afraid of the Indians. <grin> Anyhow, we talked and my humor came shining through enough for them to laugh and even give me safe passage to continue my voyage by stopping all traffic for me to continue on. The next time was a lone policeman who was NOT nice telling me to get on the other side of the road. I asked him if he was crazy as that side of the road is the side I got hit on when I could walk! It's more dangerous I told him and that this side, at least I can see the cars coming at me and veer off the road if need be. He wasn't sure what to do because I also told him that there is no way I can abide his order and that he would just have to arrest me but what must this look like to the judge when we appear before him? Needless to say, he didn't arrest me and let me be on the safest side I chose. The next day, I called the police station to report these incidences and 3 weeks later had to have the sheriff called as I was attacked by two Rotteweillers (sp?) and that was enough! The roads were tarred on the reservation, however, in this city, the roads remain in their tattered and torn conditions, without sidewalks in most places. This makes going to Church on my wheelchair a tad bit wearisome and dangerous. So, I've asked and asked and even stated that I have leg braces to walk to their car so they don't need to worry about lifting several hundreds of pounds of wheelchair. To no avail. So Doug, as you can see, in my 4 year experience of being a Christian, I had help by one Church with financial assistance, had help by another with a ride to the SDA Church and now am up a creek without a paddle. The medicines and the need of financial help there we have yet to see, because so far, thank God, the government has not yet discontinued my tar and I have today another day to live. But if or when the government cuts me out, as they have done before, I'm in serious trouble. In the meanwhile, I'd really like to have a Church "family" that would call from time to time or come by and enjoy some time together. At least this much if they cannot or will not give me a ride to the Church. Please forgive me for my ramblings but my brain went on overdrive and here it is, the best of my memory, which isn't saying much these days ::chuckle::. Blessings to you Doug and pray for God to put in the hearts of all His children, hearts of compassion and hearts of mercy to help people like me and infact, to take notice that we are not dead.....yet. Sincerely, Denise Gilmore | ||
| Doug222 (Doug222) |
Denise, I can hear the frustration in your typing. I wish I lived in your area so I could help. I guess the thing I would say is to not give up on all churches based on your experiences with a few. There are many Christian men and women who would not hesitate to assist you if they knew about your situation. Doesn't the city in which you live in have a transportation service? In the city where I live, the city provides free transportation (in hadicap accessible vans)to people with disabilities and to the elderly for doctor's appointments, jobs, shopping, etc. At the SDA church I used to attend, there was even a lady who got regular rides to church from them (the city service). Having said that, I find it hard to believe that if you spoke to any pastor and told them that you wanted to come to their church, but were physically unable, that they wouldn't see to it that you got a ride there. It is sad, but churches are wary of extending help to people who are not "members." Once again, I can only speak about the SDA church I used to belong to. We had a fairly active benevolent program. I can't even count the number of times that we had people take advantage of our generosity. The benevolence committee had to learn to be "wise as serpents, but harmless as doves." The sad part of it is that many people who may have needed our help may not have received it because of the abuse of a few people. Something that comes out in your post is that you seem to be yearning for Christian fellowship (i.e. having other Christians come visit you periodically), but you seem to have an aversion to associating yourself with a fellowship of Christians, for fear of being hurt or rejected again. Isn't this somewhat of a dichotomy? I'd encourage you to cautiously expose yourself to som different congregations. I am sure there are some out there that would love you with a Godly love. Your post has inspired me to look for more opportunities to be a "good neighbor" to people who are in need. Currently, there is an older lady in the SDA Church that I used to attend who I have "adopted" as a grandmother. I still give her rides to church each week, and she occasionally calls me during the week asking me to take her to various places to tun errands. However, I know that I can do more. I wish there was a mechanism to connect me with people like yourself who have challenges that make the routine tasks of life more difficult. If you're aware of something like that, let me know--of course if you were aware of something like that, we wouldn't be having this conversation. It sounds trite, but I will continue to pray for your situation. Please do not give up hope. If nothing else, please know that you have a community of friends (and fellow believers) right here that cares for you very much. In His Grace Doug | ||
| Gene (Gene) |
Wow. I had no idea, Denice, that life was so tough for you. Your story has inspired me, like it did Doug, to open my eyes for more opportunities to reach out in my own neighborhood. The church does, I believe, have every responsibility to assist those in need - a responsibility that the church has shirked for too long. But let's see - if I'm part of the body, and the body needs to become more aware and more concerned, then I guess it's up to me to get off my duff and do something myself. Huh. Exactly what I heard at Promise Keepers several years ago. | ||
| Denisegilmore (Denisegilmore) |
Hello Doug, I need to address something that is being misunderstood in my postings, it is this: "Something that comes out in your post is that you seem to be yearning for Christian fellowship (i.e. having other Christians come visit you periodically), but you seem to have an aversion to associating yourself with a fellowship of Christians, for fear of being hurt or rejected again." Oh no, I hope this is not the message I'm portraying. Allow me to clear this mis understanding. Yes, I absolutely desire fellowship with Christians. But am hoping that because I've no desire to be a "member" of a "denominational" name, that this is not giving the impression of "you seem to have an aversion to associating yourself with a fellowship of Christians, for fear of being hurt or rejected again." I have no aversion of associating myself with Christians period. Now if this means I must take on a name of a denomination, I find that silly. I'm a Christian plain and simple. I've not found any denominational name in the Bible when it comes to being a Christian and do not feel it necessary to take one on now as my status is already 'a member of the body of Christ'. No other name is required. Do I fear being hurt? Hmmmm, that's a good question Doug. There is a part of me that says "there's nothing that will surprise me anymore." Then there is this other thought "Oh God, please put into my life, honest to goodness, real people that love You and what You stand for. No more pretenders." Does that help in understanding me? I desire Christian friends and fellowship and while it is true that I've been hurt many times over, this gives me a spirit of "nothing will surprise me." At the same time because I truly do desire Christian friends and fellowship, my prayer to God is that He will put into my life His Genuine People. Not psuedo christians who call themselves God's children but live according to this world. I'm terrible at trying to state this in words, as you can see. But hopefully this helps a bit more. As to not giving up. I thought I had until this past year it hit me that I'm still trying to find a place within the Christian community wherein I'm accepted for who I am and where God is esteemed above all and any traditions of men. So, I've not given up and my public posting should show that much. When you mentioned transportation services, I had to chuckle a bit as this is where I'm having a heck of a time. See, there are buses here (not free but inexpensive), yet it never fails that I am the easiest person to get lost in this entire world. True story. Once, while trying to make my way to Church on a bus, somehow I ended up in a competely different city! Now, the ride was very nice, although I had no clue where we were headed. Then the thought occurred to me "what if we are leaving the state of California! How will I get back?!" At this, I panicked and asked the driver in a whisper, where we were headed. He promptly and loudly told me and having never heard of these two cities we were headed for, I asked him if they were still in California. He started laughing (as did all the rest of the passengers) and said yes. So, I explained to him where my destination was and he calmed me by telling me that he would take me back to where he picked me up and from there give me instructions on how to get to my desired destination. Of course, this took about two hours and Church service was now over and I made it home about two hours after that due to taking yet another wrong bus! This disorder I have causes some confusion, needless to say and catching buses is not as easy for me as for "normal" folks. I have had some people tell me that they would personally give me an all day teaching lesson and we could ride the buses here and there so I'd be better acquainted with the routes. But those were just words and my lessons have never taken place. When I could walk, my feet took me to Church many times. That's no longer an option for me. Now when you said this: "Having said that, I find it hard to believe that if you spoke to any pastor and told them that you wanted to come to their church, but were physically unable, that they wouldn't see to it that you got a ride there." I have a question. Do I just call Churches out of the phone book and ask to talk to the Pastor? See, I have virtually no clue how one is to talk to the Pastor unless I get to the Church. But if phone calls work, I didn't know that and now there's some good news! That gives me an avenue to try. Thank you Doug. And yes, I've seen and heard people who take advantage of Churches. Infact, they almost brag about this! This is appalling to me and I make that clear to them. Course, I'm not well liked after that but it's wrong what they do. Churches have a hard enough time, from what I've seen, just staying afloat with the overhead, let alone having people using them for services provided out of love. To me, this is a crime when people take advantage of Churches and like I've said, with my own ears, I heard people bragging about this or speaking of doing such a thing without any sort of thought that it might be wrong. There are many peoples that were my friends (or so I thought), that are not now because I spoke up about them robbing or using the Churches. And they do not just do this to one, they go to many different Churches in the same month to get this or get that. I'm opposed to that behavior. And really amazing is that the majority of people doing this are Christians! That's what I've witnessed. We need to pray for those type of Christians who feel that doing such a thing is just fine.....it isn't. I'll close this posting by saying thank you for your heart of kindness and ideas. Also, please know that you praying for me does NOT, in any way, sound trite to me. Infact, I'm very grateful that God gave to you a heart to pray for me and others. Praise God and thank you Doug. Blessings to you and yours, in Christ's Name, Jesus. This I pray. amen. your sister in Christ. Denise Gilmore | ||
| Denisegilmore (Denisegilmore) |
Hello Gene, I just posted a post to Doug, then saw yours. Yes, we ARE the "members of the body of Christ" and that is why I really want to get to the Churches if possible, to keep relaying this message over and over if need be. Now that I'm leg brace bound or Wheelchair bound, depending on my day, I've met so many peoples, other than just seniors, who have no one to help. And they have given up. Some have committed suicide and I knew them. It is so important that WE, as God's children, take an active part to reach out, not just to the un-believers but, to our fellow brothers and sisters who are being dismissed by the Church. As one has said above, it's the "out of sight, out of mind" problem. And this is a hugh problem, and growing by the day. We, the unseen, the un-heard and the un-sung, need our brothers and sisters to help us in our plight. Silence is Death. May God grant you boldness, Wisdom and Peace. In Christ Jesus Name, this I pray. amen. your sister in Christ. Denise Gilmore | ||
| Denisegilmore (Denisegilmore) |
I spotted this article elsewhere and find that it applies to "the Body of Christ" in general. Praying that some will actually never forget what this article says from God's Word. This article represents my thoughts and has lost me many so called friends due to my stand on this issue. Including this past 6 months in trying to defend, speak up for and find justice for those who cannot or don't know how to speak up for themselves. Prayerfully (and I know it has) my stand on this and my words to those that have cast me out, are pricked in the heart by God Himself for their APATHY in matters for which I've been fighting. They are hypocrits and I've lost nothing in losing them from my life. It is actually a relief as I was more than wearied in hearing their lame excuses. None of you reading this know what "exactly" I've been fighting and there is no need to post it now as those, who live around me, were SILENT or even SPITEFUL regarding me bringing to the forefront their sickening attitude, have now killed more than a few of those I loved and have also "put away" into "facilities" (out of sight, out of mind was the remedy of these hypocrits) the others that I still love very deeply. Yes, I am hated by a good deal of "Christians" for their own shame. Shame on them. http://www.adventistreview.org/2002-1545/story2.html Denise Gilmore P.S. Hopefully not ALL hearts will wax cold. This is posted while grief stricken. | ||
| Susan_2 (Susan_2) |
Denise, I don't get the last fw lettes, numbers and/e symbols of that web address on my screne. So, I went to the Review and decided to look up all the 2002 Reviews and try to guess which article you were referring to. I did not now before now that they print four Reviews per month! WOW! Those Adventists must not have much time to read their Bibles with all that other stuff the orginazition has for them to read and listen to on the radio and watch on t.v.! So, please let me know which issue it is that you would like us to read. I doid glance through an article about law and grace where the auther says that now that SDA's understand grace they (the sda's) are getting too lazy about abiding by the law. What balogna! When someone truly has an understanding opf grace just the opposite is true, a person delights in doing God's will. It says something like, "and by this you will know that they are mine, that they have love for one another". I didn't read too much of the Reviews because when I read trash I get a stomach ache and feel like throwing up.So, please let me know which article to read and in what issue of what month. Thanks. | ||
| Denisegilmore (Denisegilmore) |
Hello Susan, Yeah, they print articles on all kinds of stuff, most of which I find useless. But every once in a while, there is a decent article that does have it's place within Christianity today. The title and author is: "Why should the poor concern us?" by "ZDRAVKO PLANTAK" I don't know "what" article that was and can't find the number of it either but if you would like, email me at mygodismystrength@hotmail.com and I'll be glad to forward this article to you. I'd be more than happy to post the entire article here but I do believe that is against forum policy. So just email me and I'll send you the article. And you spoke of law. Well, it appears that the longer time goes by the more zealous they are about the law. That's sad that they truly do not understand the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Let's pray for them. You stated in part (Scripture): "It says something like, "and by this you will know that they are mine, that they have love for one another". From my experiences in the SDA church, there wasn't much love shown, to be honest. However, the ones that did show it, sure outshined most anyone I had ever met in my life. One of them, of course, being Arleta, my very beloved friend. However, now in all fairness, I must also add this. That same love spoken of through Scripture is rapidly disappearing from many Christians from just about every denomination I can think of off hand. This is a really sad statement huh. But then again, I have to give Glory to God Almighty for these new converts that are far outshining most of the weathered Christians I've ever met in my entire life. Amazing, truly amazing. Infact, these new converts are showing more love than I do and more fruit than I do! Now that could be an embarassing statement, however, God in His Infinite Wisdom, knows what's best and because of these new converts, I'm being taught by them! What a God we have! His Ways are beyond our knowing and understanding. Well, I'm online for a few more hours anyhow tonight, so just drop an email and oh yes, please put in the subject line "adventist review" or something like that so I know not to delete it. Thanks and Blessings, In Christ, to you and your household Susan! Denise Gilmore | ||
| Sabra (Sabra) |
Denise, Those are preterist and I don't understand them either but they are growing. I guess they think we are in the millinium already. If you think you will be here for all of that junk at the end and you get raptured early...what a wonderful surprise!! Right? Guess since I think I'll be raptured, if I end up here during all of that junk I'll just pray a lot and trust Him! Either way, we're outta here, sooner...or later!! Can't wait! | ||
| Sabra (Sabra) |
sorry, I posted that on the wrong thread. :0 | ||
| Denisegilmore (Denisegilmore) |
Dear everyone, Today, my friend Laura, a senior citizen, died in my arms. About a month or less ago I had asked for an attorney in this case and did not recieve any help. Tonight Laura is not with us. Laura was the epitomy of innocence and love. Never had I heard a bad word regarding anyone from her lips. Never did she get angry with a soul. She has been my friend for almost 3 years and lived in this building. Her family were not there for her, nor anyone else for that matter and this includes all these "acclaimed" Christians in this building. Tonight as I type this, after grieving in great pain all by myself, I still sit here and type and cry.........all at the same time. It was terrible enough that she didn't get the help she needed, even though I did all I could and more. But now........well, now, here I sit typing and crying. With nobody, as nobody cares and is apathetic about her death, so nobody cares nor wants to care nor hear of my grief. I'll miss my friend Laura. I'll miss her daily visits. I'll miss her sweet smiles. I'll miss her shining face on Mondays when she got her hair done and she would wear her pretty flowered blouse, knowing that I'd tell her how beautiful she looks. I'll miss her more than these words will ever tell. I'll miss her hugs and kisses each and every time she visited. God knows how my heart is broken and the hospital staff knew that a power greater than themselves was at work today at the hospital. For if I ventured more than 5 feet from her bedside, her heart would literally stop. 2 times this happened as I had to relieve myself in the restroom just across the hall. Finally, our God was recognized by the staff as they asked me to be right there and hold her as they did all they could to save her life. She exhaled her last breath in my arms after her heart gave out for the last time at approximately 5:20pm today. The staff came right out and said that there is something about our hearts being so connected that she was aware when I left her side for even 3 minutes. See, she was comatose except for an instance wherein she fought death and I returned to her side. She hung on until I sang "Amazing Grace" and that was a song her mother used to sing to her she told me about 5 days ago. Here, a woman who barely could keep up on a conversation, slow in her thinking, non judgemental, loved everybody, Glorified our Father in Heaven. Last week was when she remembered her mother sang the song "Amazing Grace" and last week she proclaimed Jesus Christ as her God while lying in bed. It truly was something to behold last week when this took place as it was unexpected by me. Now today, as she lay dying, God of Creation, Jesus Christ, was recognized by the hospital staff. They had no other explanation for such an odd phenomenom. I told them it was not just "heart connection" but it was the "love that Jesus Christ put in both of us" that brought us to be so close. The hopital staff were very diligent to do their best and my thanks goes to them forever. Also, their beautiful kindness and mercy shown to me after Laura's demise will never be forgotten. Truly this day, God was at work and was Glorified. Tonight, I find myself thanking God that this was a short suffering time but at the same time crying at the terribleness of this world and the death that breaks our hearts. I asked God, "why." Immediately I was reminded that "Jesus Wept" and that one great day, death will reign no more and there will be Eternal life with Peace everlasting. My sadness is great but my hope has been heightened. The Hope to see her again and never ever ever having to say "good-bye." Glory to God forevermore! amen. Denise Gilmore For one day, this corruptible will put on incorruptible. | ||
| Susan_2 (Susan_2) |
My pyayers are for your peace and comfort. It's hard, I know. Susan | ||
| Denisegilmore (Denisegilmore) |
I thank you Susan. That is a kind word and a much needed one this night. As I'm very enraged and saddened. (NOT AT YOU). My prayer is that God Himself will bring to justice those who chose to ignore this beautiful soul and infact, took advantage of her helplessness. She is a recent widow, I am the fatherless and we were both the outcasts of this wicked generation. I'm still in disbelief that Laura won't come by tomorrow. Everytime I'm reading something on the internet, my thoughts are interrupted with the cold reality that Laura is gone. Those that chose to ignore her, or put her on hold, have been hearing from me loud and clear. I'm hated by many many Christians for rebuking them. These "so-called" Christians go around making a big to-do about what they do in their Churches, how wonderful their service was Sunday, what monies they are raising to fund over seas missionaries, and more. Yet all the while, they looked down upon my friend and just don't get why I have such a passion for people like Laura. Make no bones about it, my words are not politically correct, nor nice. Infact, they are calling a spade a spade and people hate that. They are guilty and this includes that damned Social Services "adult protective" program that I had to keep hounding just to get her some basic necessities out of her own monies that they are in charge of. She died with toe nails that were over an inch long, had grown into bird like claws so tough that it was impossible to cut (I tried) and there was a fungus under her toenails. This called for a specialist and I told them about this months ago. Also, I told them that she needs a regular family physician to make sure her blood pressure was okay and other things like that. They made many promises but failed to keep their word. If they had taken her to the doctors, she would not have had the stroke last Tuesday and the subsequent heart attack today. She would have been on medications and could have lived past the age of 74. She just turned 74. Instead, what did they do? They sent her to a psychiatrist!! Like Loma Linda did to me when my legs started giving out. Laura was found to be normal and so was I, much to the dismay of Loma Linda Hospital and 'THEIR SPECIALTISTS.' Should I name names of the doctors here for you all?? I'm thinking of doing that very thing since it's because of their neglect that I'm in a wheelchair today or leg braces. Loma Linda said it was all in my head. Guess what? They're full of *&%%! I have a real physical crippling disease. Laura needed a real physical doctor not some shrink! What in the world? Has everyone gone mad?? What happened to this thing of long ago called "COMMON SENSE?" It is missing in these equations. They claim to be Christian. Also, I asked for an accounting of Laura's monies as they have had 6 months to get her a phone and never did nor would they give me an accounting of her monies. I know her income and infact, it was me that they had to contact for her account information as the bank would not give them the information. Only me. So I know her income and outgoing monies and yet they had the audacity to try to tell me of how far in debt she was?!?! This woman was NOT in debt and they know I know that. I posted a post on THIS forum for an attorney. And with thousands of readers, not one person contacted me. How many of you readers are Attorneys??? I can bet there are more than a dozen. But because I had asked for a pro bono attorney, nobody but nobody came to help. For you attorneys out there that claim Christianity and who had read that post. Shame on you! Laura is dead. Let's hope we never meet in person as you will hear my words in person as I fear NO ONE. Especially money-mongers and hypocrits. Poor little Laura, ignored by most people. Well, now that she is dead. This ought to relieve many of the sight of her. God tells me to love. Yet, in all honesty, I'm beginning to hate and even shun people now. Laura is not the first person I've seen this with. But with God on my side, she will be one of the last. We are commanded to hate the evil and I hate the evil. Those that know me and live near me, should have come to help. To know to do good and not do it, it is sin. Am I angry? You bet your <bleeps> I'm angry!! God's Word says to love my enemies but He does not say enable them nor does He say do not rebuke them. Nor does He say not to get angry. Scripture tells us "do not sin in your anger." Jesus Christ Himself got angry and He despised hypocrits! There is a building full of psuedo Christians here. One by one, they are hearing rebuking words from me. Scripture is for correction, exhortation, rebuking, teaching and so on. So, I'm not leaving off the "rebuke" part. Yet today, Christians think that another Christian has no right to do exactly what God's Word teaches us to do. I say "take that thought and cram it!" I'm so sick of Christians only sticking to their own little clicks and only their types of peoples that anymore I'm not even sure I'm considered a Christian. At least by peoples standards. But what in this world do I care for "peoples" standards for? Do I obey men or God? I'll obey God even if the whole world hate me. ESPECIALLY when it comes to the elderly and the handicapped (like myself). And I too, am ignored or "not a part of" because I dare to think for myself "outside" of any click or group. I dare to be me, in all my sinfulness, my shortcomings and fallings...but this I can say: I am NOT a hypocrit. Those around me have their shortcomings, sinfulness, and fallings too, yet they will pretend they don't. To hell with that type of Christian! Brood of vipers! Hypocrits!! Go ahead, throw all you have at me pastors here on this forum...you moderators who run this forum. I don't care. For one month I dare any of you to come and live in my world and see if you will keep silent. I know for a fact, that you would do your best to "be as Christian as possible in all situations" and to be "patient, loving, caring and forthright" but you won't be able to contain that show for long. Believe me. You can only put on that show as long as you have your vehicles, your clicks and your outings to get away from this. But live as I live. Homebound, here, no fellowship, no clicks, no family but the seniors that live around you. And THEN show me your soft loving mannerisms with your pretty little smiles. You wouldn't be able to do it, I know this for a fact because ten to one, just reading this post is too real for you and you are already getting angry. Ooopppps! Did I call it like it is?? Dear me, what do we do now? Pretend your not angry? Pretend this post doesn't just get to you?? Well, if this post isn't getting to you, good. If it is getting to you, then UNDERSTAND where I'm coming from and don't be so hasty to judge me UNLESS you live in my world. And please, no better than thou speeches to Denise, nor telling me what or how I ought to feel. FIRST come live in my world........THEN AND ONLY THEN do you have a right to tell me what or how to feel. God says: HATE THE EVIL. I'm obeying God not you. My friend Laura is DEAD. No taking that back. No making that right. NOTHING will undo what has been done. She is DEAD. She won't eat her breakfast nor see the sunrise. You will. Poor Laura, like Lazarus, ignored. You were not there holding her body as it died. You were not there to see that haunting gaze of your friend for whom you had been fighting for months that justice be done in her behalf. You were not there weeping with me. You won't miss her as you read this post. I hate this world. God forbid I should stay here that much longer. And Praise God that I won't!! Poor Laura, God help those who ignored her plight. For they will give an account to God. God forbid this post should be deleted, that's calling down upon your heads the same guilt as those who ignored Laura. Christians, if you take on the name, then live like a child of God. This world is not your home. Read Matthew 25. Let God's name be Glorified not slandered like it has been done with Laura. And God forgive me for sinning against HIM and HIM only. Give me no more grief, you who wish to point out the mote in my eye. You are not me nor do you know the entire set of circumstances but only those I chose to give you. So do not be hasty in chastising me UNLESS you dare to come and look me in the eye. Then I'll call you courageous, otherwise I will consider you cowards. If you want my addresss, email me at: mygodismystrength@hotmail.com I'll be more than happy to give you my address and you can come and tell me off as you see fit, AFTER you hear the full story and meet some real life cases, yet to be taken care of by none other than us Christians. When you lend your hand into helping, then you have a right to say it like it is and I'll be more than happy to listen. Otherwise, keep silent unless it is for "weeping with me." Sincerely, Denise Gilmore P.S. Whoever this doesn't apply to, then realize it doesn't apply to you and don't take it personally. In other words, be mature and think. | ||
| Carol_2 (Carol_2) |
Denise, I'm very sorry you are in such pain, and I'm so sorry you have lost your dear friend. I know I don't really understand what you are feeling, but you have caused me to think, and to take a good look at myself. I pray that others, especially those that need to be awakened, will hear what you are saying. Again, I'm so sorry about your friend, but then again, we rejoice for her homecoming celebration! With love and prayers for all, Carol | ||
| Janice (Janice) |
Denise, I am now crying after reading your post. It brought back those memories of a year ago when I witnessed my very first death. Praise God that it was a sweet passing, we did not sing but our Uncle (a Baptist minister) prayed Eddie on over to the other side, oh sweet Jesus, what a bitter-sweet moment that was. I was so glad that Eddie didn't linger long after his cancer was detected, it was hard enough on the family as it was. Denise, I tell you the truth, I have the dearest inlaws that anyone would ever hope to have and this last year has been very hard on my family/inlaws, and I can tell you that I do thank God that I didn't have to go through it alone like you did today. Everyone for miles and miles visited my brother-in-law and all spoke only good things about him and over 300 people showed up at the church for the funeral service. He was a simple man that didn't have a mean bone in his body, sounds like your dear friend, huh? I have outlived my daddy, all four grandparents, and many aunts and uncles but will end this post by saying this Denise, "take heart in the fact that our dear savior took notice, he was holding out his hand to take her home, so, allow God to send you peace and know that I will have you in my prayers." Janice | ||
| Thomas1 (Thomas1) |
Sister Denise, Your friend Laura did not die ignored. She had the most precious possession anyone could ever have. She had you. Too finish this life with one real, true blue honest to gosh friend, is a gift greater than any other! To give what you gave today is very special. You must be very special. I am sure Laura appreciated you more than she could have possibly expressed. I would imagine she is telling some real stories about you, to her new best friend, Jesus. I can just see Him smile and nod His approval. So you hang on to your memories and be mad as hell about the unfairness of this life. Your friend Laura is OK now. She will never be ignored again. Your Brother in His Grace <>< Thomas | ||
| Sabra (Sabra) |
Denise, You are right where you are supposed to be. God has put you there. He depends on us to take care of the Laura's and you have been a faithful servant. Now she is home and will receive the rewards from her Father that will last forever and never fade. Just imagine how happy she is now! We have trials and troubles here but we count it all joy because none of it goes unnoticed and it will be made right. This little vapor of a life will seem like a vague dream when we spend eternity with Jesus. Keep up the good work, you are truly a blessing, Sabra | ||
| Another_Carol (Another_Carol) |
Denise, Being a person who wants to help others I understand what you have gone thru. Like you I do not understand how people can sit back and do nothing. I have lived with this kind of thing for all my married life. My husband has 3 brothers, he being the youngest and it was left to me to take care of my father-in-laws illness in regard to Doctor visits since my mother-in-law did not drive and then later taking care of finances, helping with medicare and all that goes with that. I was the only one who ever made plans for my mother-in-laws birthday. I was only 22 when this all started married 3 years and struggling with all that goes with it. I did this until my mother-in-law passed away 3 years ago. In 1979 my brother-in-law was diagnosed with MS and a few years later he was dumped at my mother-in-laws since his wife did not want to be bothered with him anymore. One day when she had asked my sister-in-law if she could come and be with him while she attended a family reunion she had him sign papers which as we were to find out thru the newspaper it was divorce papers he signed. After that I was put in charge of his affairs and do to this day. After being told he could keep his insurance policies we now have been told they must be spent down so we have been in that process for the last 6 months. We are now at the point of going back to assistance and when I go I pray that they will just let me take up where we left off instead of going thru all the red tape. I have said that if they do say this I will just say then you do it. But you know what I probably won't because that is not the humane way to treat a person who when he was able worked very hard for his family which now has deserted him. I have done all this without an ounce of recompense, matter of fact it has cost me money but the hardest thing is seeing him be left sitting in a nursing home thru no fault of his own while his family goes on with their lives. I will agree with you life is not fair but I don't live for this life I live for the one my Lord and Saviour has prepared for me. While I am waiting for that day I will try and live the life my Lord and Saviour expects of me. My heart goes out to you that you have lost a most dear friend. I also can totally understand that having lost our daughter-in-law. There is a time that healing must come thru you and your trust in God. I do not say this to say that you are not doing that what I do say is there are times when all we have is our Lord and Saviour and then just like the footprints in the sand poem says it is then that He carries us. I pray for comfort and strength for you in the next few days and months. I also pray that God will send you another precious soul who needs your wonderful companionship such as you gave to dear Laura. As my son told another husband who lost his wife some years after our daughter in law: LEAN ON GOD AND LEAN ON HIM HARD IN THIS TIME OF TRIAL. As a sister in Christ,let go and let God, Carol | ||
| Susan_2 (Susan_2) |
Dear Denise, I realize you are hurting and in great emotional pain right now. However, I would like to tell you that medical care in this country is terrible for just about everyone, at least everyone who is of middle/modest means or poorer. I really believe when a person gets around 70 years old the medical profession has an unspoken code of providing the least amount of medical care that they possibly can get by with. I know this sounds like a conspiricy theory and honest, I am not one prone to believing conspiricy theories, but I do believe this because I personally have seen it happen to too many people in recent years. To give you an example-My mother is 82. TIA's are small strokes and often are a prelude to a big stroke. My mom and me and a lot of other folks we know honestly believe she has been having a series of TIA's. Yet, she will go to the doctor and she will go to emergency when she gets the symptoms and all they do is tell her to lay down, stay still and the symptoms will pass. And, it's true the symptoms do pass. Now my mom cannot remember proper nouns at all, which is a common result of strokes. Often, too her heart rate will be really super fast when she is in an upright position. And, do you know what the doctors tell her? They tell her if her heart races when she is in an upright position then she should just stay laying down. Now that is about the stupidest advice I can think of. No doctor yet has tried to figure out what the cause of these symptoms is and then try to figure out what to do about it. And, my mom spent nearly 30 years as a public school teacher at a local elementary school. Before that she worked as a nurse. She has gotten terrible medical care. In this country good medical care is for the already healthy who only need what is routine, like glasses and false teath and physicals and whatever is easy and cheep and any two-bit physician can help with without doing any real work or putting out any real effort. I have a cousin who pays $300 per month for her insurance and that is just for her and she also gets terrible service. Please, I hope you realize that proper medical care in this country, especially here in California is zilch for most everyone. I realize these words won't help with your greif. I do hope they help you realize that it is not just you and those you love that gets crummy care. | ||
| Another_Carol (Another_Carol) |
Susan 2, I do not want to start a big controversery here but I would like to take issue with the fact we do not have good medical help. When my husband had his heartattack I could not have asked for better paramedics, better doctors, better nurses. Granted the outcome was good but it was not good just because it happened, it took much work on the part especially of the paramedic who worked on my husband relentlessly shocking him numerous times (a total of at least 14 and possibly 22 some of which could have been done after arriving at emergency). I think many forces were at work and please don't anyone believe that I think because of what I am about to say that I had anything to do with it, but after it was all over the paramedic being a Christian himself said he knew I was praying(as I type I am crying because of the special feeling I got from him as I felt he must do whatever it took to bring him back). This all happened just a few months before my son-in-law went on this adventure with SDA and had it not been for the fact I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God was with me(if you don't know the story please either look back in posts or ask me about it as it takes some time for me to go thru what acutally happened that day) I would not have been able to survive what was ahead of me. God places us in situtations so that we will know that He is in control just like in Exodus 9:12 But the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart and he would not listen to Moses and Aaron, just as the LORD had said to Moses. And then the answer in Exodus 11: 9 why God harded Pharoah's heart And the LORD said unto Moses, Pharaoh shall not hearken unto you; that my wonders may be multiplied in the land of Egypt. Thus Romans 8:28 All things work together for good to them that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. We should not dwell on the negative but rather the positive and that is for me Jesus. He never said it would be an easy road but just like I have said in earlier posts child birth is not easy either but the results are so magnificent. I never think about the pain I went thru with my 3 live births but rather remember and think on the joy of that blessed new life. Jesus gave us new life and said we should walk in it.Ephesians 6:4 Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. I believe that new life starts when we receive the gift of eternal life he gave us the day the tomb was empty and continues for eternity. Death of someone special is hard as I have testified to my experience with that but my hope goes beyond that and just as the little things we must leave behind and surrender daily, such as our babies to toddlers,our toddlers to preschool, our preschool to elementary, high school, college, marriage, leaving home, starting their own families, becoming old, becoming non-productive and finally leaving this earth for that blessed hope that we all are striving for, I pray. Philippians 3 13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. 2 Cor. 5:4For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 1 Corinthians 15 54 So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. 55 O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? I pray your victory is not in the this life or the grave but rather 57 But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. I think the problem lies with status and the medical insurance card you are holding in your hand. And saying that I say it is appaling. What to do about it, I am not sure. I have thought much about socialized medicine and wondered if that would be the answer but there again I think that would also be a status and age thing. I have no status but I do have a medical insurance thru my work which has paid my husband's $100,000.00 with no questions asked. I do not think it is right by the same token I do not think it is right to keep people alive just for the sake of being alive. I would never want medical intervention just for the sake of keeping me alive but would rather want that someone else who could benefit more to take up my portion. We live in a corrupt world that some day will be replaced with incorruption. I think we are here to prepare for our future home and let's all work to that end or should I say beginning, Carol | ||
| Another_Carol (Another_Carol) |
My husband's heartattack for those who have not seen it. I was going along minding my own business after my husband had a heartattack in July 1998 of which he was for all intents and purposes gone. He was 54 years of age and never had any signs of any impending attack. The day it happened he was out tearing down our garage. I came home from work a little after 12 and he was already eating and I sat down to eat with him. He then went in to take a bath and I thought it a little strange that he was quitting that early as we went to another job at 4:30 and he usually worked until about 2 but I said to myself it is hot and thought no more of it. I went in to wash his back like I have for 30+ years and noticed nothing. I went back to the kitchen to clean up and when he came into the family room right off the kitchen I heard him as he sat down in the recliner sigh quite heavily and I thought he sure sounds tired and then thought I will check and when I went to look around the corner I noticed he was in distress and asked him what was wrong and he said I have this awful pain and showed me that it was in his shoulder and left chest area. I went to him and as I touched him I knew immediately what was wrong and started to walk down the hall to get my stethoscope but thought no I do not have time and called 911. As I was speaking to 911 he had gotten up and was pacing the floor trying to get away from the pain. They asked me to tell him to sit down and he did. When I got off the phone with 911 I realized that it would be hard for them to come in with the pram since they would need to go to the back of the house and I asked him if he could walk to the living room which was right at the front door and he did. He laid on the couch and I waited impatiently for the ambulance to get there and they are only 5 blocks away. When they came it was very difficult for them to get the leads on since he was perspiring so badly. He said he was in such pain and they said they would give him something for it, Morphine. When I heard that I thought that when it started to take effect he might think he was going out so I told him what would happen and not to worry. I also started to pray that Jesus would help him. The paramedic asked if I could call someone so I started calling my church and our kids. Our youngest son was just a few blocks away and he was there very shortly. When he got there he took me and we started to go to the back of the house. As we got almost to the end of the dining room I heard something and turned to look and my husbands head was blood red purple and twice its size and I screamed he's going and my son took ahold of me and shook me and said "NO Mom". We proceeded to the back sunroom and started to pray. At first it was keep him calm and we need you etc, etc, and all the time we are hearing the paramedics yelling at my husband since he was fighting them. We also heard them say we have a rhythm and I am smart enough and have enough medical knowledge to know that if they had a rhythm they in fact had lost a rhythm. When we didn't know what to pray any longer I started to pray the Lord's prayer and when we got to thy will be done I said 'No Lord I do not want your will" in my own mind but a hand touched me on the shoulder and I heard these words "I'll be with you" and I said yes Lord and continued on in the prayer never breaking stride with my son. I surrendered to the Lord God Almighty, not to heal my husband but to believe that He in fact was going to do what He just said, be with me. Quite frankly at that point and time I thought it was over. As we finished the prayer the police officer came in to the room and said they are going transport him and I was totally shocked since I know that to transport you must be somewhat stable and all I remember hearing is the trouble they were having with him and the fact they kept talking about rhythm. I told people later that they must have shocked him at least 3 times and I thought that was alot. Turns out he was shocked for sure 14, there was another count of 22 but I am sure I heard 14 form the Doctor and the other was from a nurse which my daughter-in-law told me about. 10 days later and 3 days in an induced coma and a stint put in a clogged artery we went home. The only reminders today are the pacemaker/defibulator implanted in his chest and pictures of the burns on his chest from the shocks. As of his last sonogram of the heart it is almost back to normal of which they said it would never be. God is so awesome, not because I beleived He saved my husband, that was a wonderful byproduct but because I because of Him trusted my circumstances totally in Him. When we look at the positive rather than the negative there is only one way and that is forward and up, Carol | ||
| Janice (Janice) |
Carol, What you said here "We live in a corrupt world that some day will be replaced with incorruption. I think we are here to prepare for our future home and let's all work to that end or should I say beginning" is so true. I once read a book written by one of the Rockefellers and can't remember the name of it, but it was telling all about how communism begins. The most profound statement that I remember reading was "communism does not begin with a dictator that says 'I am going to rule over you' but comes as a result of a dire need to survive" and went on to say that in all countries where dictators have come to power and the government truly rules, it is a direct result of the people BEGGING for it. Every time I see the injustices done in the medical field, I get furious and say to myself, to others who will listen to me as well, why doesn't the government do something or else I will state that the government is going to have to do something. My point is this: Eph 6:12 says "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places]." These high places mentioned here are nothing more than government places. He is setting this entire thing up to fall and as America moves on towards it downward spiral of moral decay, it paves the way for the antichrist to set things up in a society that will not be able to buy or sell without taking the mark of the beast. I don't have time to make a long post on the rapture here but thought I would mention that this mess with medical aid is getting to the point that the common man just simply cannot survive and God forbid that we get some horrid disease like some of you that post do have, it takes everything to survive. I have got to go to Alabama now, so, I will be getting back to the forum over the weekend. God bless you all, Janice | ||
| Lydell (Lydell) |
Denise, I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your friend Laura. It must have been a tremendous comfort to her to have you there. I pray He comforts you with the peace of His presence. It sounds like you have a ministry right there in the building where you live. | ||
| Colleentinker (Colleentinker) |
Denise, I'm also sorry to read of Laura's death. Praise God that He has you where you are a blessing to so many peopleóHe has not left you alone! And he has not left all those people to whom you minister alone, either. He is good! Colleen | ||
| Denisegilmore (Denisegilmore) |
Colleen, You and everyone here have held me up in these last days. I've read all the posts and am awestruck feeling I get when Christians come together and "weep with those who weep" and also to add added comfort to my soul about Laura being with Jesus right now. This is another lost day without her and I've had most of my neighbors close their doors in my face and I'm not knowing why with most of them. Probably gossip and infact, I know that is the case. I HATE gossip. It sure can ruin Christians witness, and I'm not completely guilty, so don't think that. But I do own up to it and repent when it comes flying out of my mouth or fingers on this keyboard. Gossip ruins lives. I'm living testimony to this fact that gossip has many against me that I'm left clueless as to why. They are not the ones who heard my anger or tears. Oh, I sure miss Laura today and last night and the day before that. If only I could get beyond this mortal existance! But that is easier said than done, isn't it. Colleen, you have known me for more than a few years. And you also know how I love these seniors. Sometimes, I want to de-tach myself so this pain will never come again. But I just can't do that. That's another one of those 'easier said than done thing' isn't it? My heart still grieving. Seems like this death really took me to the edge. There have been so many and yet this one, of all the deaths, really really has me spiraling downward in great depression. Actually wishing for death myself. Crazy huh? Heck, maybe I am but then they say if you think you are crazy, then ten to one, you are not. That's my only consolation that I'm not so crazy as grief stricken. I want to thank everyone on this forum who came to my side to say so many nice things and grieved with me, and also of the many things we Christians have for hope. May God Bless you all and May God put a heart in you all for the elderly. In Jesus Christ Name, this I pray. amen. Denise, your afflicted yet affectionate sister in Christ Jesus-- even the one we wait for. Laura was so special and she truly was my friend. And not occasionally, but every day. |
