| Author | Message | ||
| Princesslondon (Princesslondon) |
Hi there, My name is Sara, I am Joel Londons wife. I am kinda new at this so please bear with me. I guess to break the ice I should probably tell you a little bit about my background in Adventism. When I was 15 years old I moved to California to live with my father and is SDA wife who introduced me to the SDA church. As I was shown things that the SDA church believes such as the sabbath and Ellen White I became more and more convinced that this was the truth. I started keeping the sabbath with my family and even became vegan. While in the church I attended a mission trip in Nicaragua 2 weeks and almost went on a long term mission trip to Elsalvador to work in a orphanage for a year. For the most part my experience in the church was very good. But what i didnt know is taht I was lacking a relationship with Jesus Christ. When I met my husband I convinced him to study about the SDA church and what they believeed and I ALMOST had him convinced that it was the truth. It wasn't until I sat down and read the book of Galatians for myself that I really began questioning their claims. Joel helped me understand the true meaning of the grace of God and that the Christian life is truly about Jesus Christ. He helped me understand the reasons why he does not keep the sabbath or believe Ellen White. I still have some questions and there are still some things that I am trying to understand for the adventist ways are the only ones I have ever known and I truly believed them and it is so hard to lose everything that I have ever believed to be true about my religion. I recently hinted to my step mother that I was questioning SDAism and that I was experiencing the love of God outside of adventism, including attending church on sundays. She blames Joel for "RUINING ME" and wants to move me back to California to REindoctrinate me. She claims that I am just too much of a follower and the only reason I was moved is because I want to make my husband happy. I am still struggling with family issues, but I know in my heart that I could never go back to it or even pretend to be adventist again. I pretended for way to long and IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE FREE! Joel has told me alot about you guys and how helpful you all have been to him in helping him understand the church. I look forward to hearing from all of you and getting to know you better. In Him, Sara London | ||
| Freeatlast (Freeatlast) |
Welcome Sara! I think you will find the folks here to be a fun and informative bunch to discuss any and all of the issues that you struggle with about SDAism. Many of us here have been right where you are now, so rest assured that you are in the company of people who are able sympathize with your struggles. Jesus is too! Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. Bienvenidos! | ||
| Chris (Chris) |
Welcome Sara! I had to chuckle when I saw the comment about your husband "ruining" you. My wife, two-daughters, and myself left Adventism about a year ago. We were both born and raised Adventist (30+ years). However, my in-laws have noted that I started taking this journey first and on top of it all they are very aware that I come from a rather dysfunctional divorced family background. They are fond of saying that their daughter "knows better" because she was "raised right" and that she is only doing this becasue of me and that she should put her "family" (meaning them as opposed to me) first. I believe they would be quite happy to see the marriage desolve if it would allow them to get my wife back into Adventism. No matter that wife has taken this journey in her own way, in her own time, and come to her conclusions in her own mind. No matter that our marriage and our immediate family is better than ever. No matter that we our experiencing true joy in Christ for the first time. No matter that we are actively involved in the life of a well balanced Christian church. In my in-laws eyes we are lost ourside of Adventism and I am the Devil incarnate for taking their daughter to Hell with me. It's really a painful experience for all (especially my wife) and it's hard to see how God can ever heal these divisions given my in-laws stance. I try to trust Him and remember that He didn't tell us it would be easy. In fact, we were told that to truly follow Christ we would have to take up our cross and that even the members of our own family might turn against us. I think one has to leave to truly appreciate the cultish attitudes present in some corners of Adventism. It is sad, but it's also well worth it all when compared to the peace and joy we've found in Jesus alone. May God bless and comfort you as you continue your journey and deal with your family members. Chris Lee Lincoln, NE | ||
| Jerry (Jerry) |
Welcome Sara! It is good to have some "royalty" in our midst. See! That was not so bad, was it? Nothing you said was ìstupidî and nobody will ìjump down your throat.î I know it must be hard to go against everything you knew for all of your life, so take it easy. Some people here have some very strong opinions . . . (HEY, why is everyone looking at me and smirking?!?)  . . . but remember this: We are not the ìauthorityî any more than the SDA church. God is the authority and His Word is the knowledge. God bless you, Sara Jerry | ||
| Colleentinker (Colleentinker) |
Sara, welcome! I'm so glad you're here! It makes me feel emotional when I remember Joel's first posts here and how we have prayed for you and for him for the past couple of years. God is so good and faithful; he absolutely completes what he begins in us! I understand the terrible tension with your parents. You are absolutely right; once you've really experienced Jesus' love and a true relationship with him, you can never go back! Somehow God's love and peace and graciousness makes it possible to live with the anger and hurt and disappointment of one's parents being so misunderstanding. The fact is that they may stay angry. But we can pray for them, and God will work on their hearts in his own way. Meanwhile, our experience has been the astonishing reality that God has brought people into our lives that have helped to fill and comfort the bleeding wounds where our former friends and family have pulled away. Jesus will help you to know how to love them for Him without compromising. What you are experiencing with Jesus is real, and it will not go away. We look forward to talking with you here about anything you wish to bring up! All of us here have either gone through the experience of watching everything we were be stripped away as we left the church and identified with Jesus, or else we are close to someone who is or has been Adventist. Meanwhile, my prayers for you and Joel continue. Colleen | ||
| Thomas1 (Thomas1) |
Hi Sara, As I remember you and Joel are from Gaiesville, so welcome from a fellow Gator, just a few miles south in Ocala. The strugles you are having in breaking free of legalism are the same struggles that most of us have had and continue to have, from time to time. Even after decades of being free, the "safe" old ways can raise doubts. Never take your eyes from Jesus and His cross. When your family says you are "ruined" remind them that the Apostle Paul considered himself DEAD, and considerd it a joy. Don't let any church, family, "inspired" writing, or self proclaimed prophet, take your eyes from Jesus and His cross. Never let any doctrine or "new light" take your eyes from Jesus and His cross. Jesus did it for you, and God's grace chose you to come to it. If you have wrapped your arms around it, never let go. You are now free, and if the Son sets you free, you are free "INDEED"! Welcome home. You've come to a place of fellowship and safety. <>< In His Grip Thomas | ||
| Carol_2 (Carol_2) |
Welcome Sara!!!!! Had not yet read down through all the posts when I wrote your husband. I guess what I just wrote to him is not longer applicable (another thread.) Glad you're hear, and will enjoy getting to know you better. Love and prayers, Carol #2 | ||
| Doug222 (Doug222) |
Sara, allow me to add my words of welcome. You and I have met before (sort of - in a cyber way). Its good to see you here. You will find this to be a very safe place to explore the road on which you are traveling. As Colleen said, each of us have been touched in a very personal way by our experience with Adventism and therefore can relate to where you are right now. Feel free to ask questions, express concerns, and even test new ideas here. As Jerry said, we do not necessarily have the answers, but we know someone who does, and we will gladly popint you in that direction. I personally have a close friend who is going through some of the same problems you are experiencing as far as family not accepting the decision to leave Adventism. Its not easy to disappoint those who are so close to you, but as you have found out, once you experience the real thing, it is impossible to return to a poor imitation--and that is exactly what Adventism was for me. It always seemed as though we were trying to be a "real church." When I was in them ilitary, we called it a "suitable substitute," but now that I htink about it, it wasn't even that suitable. I look forward to hearing from you in the future. Welcome again. Doug | ||
| Princesslondon (Princesslondon) |
Thank you all for such a warm welcome... I just had to mention to my husband how I think you all are so loving. It is such a huge blessing to finally have the opportunity to conversate with people who have been through the same things that I am experiencing now. At times it feels like I am the only one going through this. It helps to know that there are others that have too. Agian thank you. You all are too kind. I am looking forward to chatting with you all and learning more about you as I grow stronger in the truth. In Him, Sara | ||
| Colleentinker (Colleentinker) |
Sara, your perception of being the only one going through this one of Satan's most effective weapons in his arsenal. It's the motive behind the "divide and conquer" idea. If satan can make us feel isolated, alone, and helpless, he has a better chance of deceiving us with counterfeit "belonging". Since one of the greatest works of the Holy Spirit among God's people is to bring about unity through the Spirit, satan's counter-attack will attempt to make us doubt such unity and look for the old, familiar ways to "belong". Jesus, on the other hand, meets us in that isolation, and he offers us Himself. If we let him come in, he fills our hearts and releases us to experience truth and freedom. Praise God for the crises that lead us to his love! Colleen | ||
| Sabra (Sabra) |
Hi Sara! I'm so glad to finally see you here! You said some things that are so classic. The parents guilt trip, we've probably all been there. I find the avoidance approach to work best, after learning my lessons about the confrontational approach. LOL The fact that it is hard to leave everything about a religion.... Remember Jesus said He didn't come to bring peace but a sword and that we would be hated by our families for His sake. Religion is nothing compared to relationship! Did you find a good church there? My cousin lives near Gainsville and has considered visiting other churches, she said "even if they are on Sunday". Let me know, maybe I can let her know of a good one. She is in a charismatic SDA church now. Blessings to you and your family, our prayers have been with you and Joel and the baby. Sabra | ||
| Lydell (Lydell) |
Welcome Sara....So glad the Lord led you here. What a blessing that you and your hubby are united in leaving the denomination. As the others have said, DO find a new church home. It will go so far in helping you grow in God. I know there is a good Vineyard church there in Gainesville. (You'll find Vineyard churches to be somewhere between traditional and charismatic.) I have met the pastor and his wife. And Chris, welcome to you too. | ||
| Doug222 (Doug222) |
Sabra, isn't a "charismatic SDA" church an oxymoron? What is your definition of charismatic? Doug | ||
| Chris (Chris) |
Doug, FWIW, Celebration SDA church in Redlands, CA is about as charismatic as they come....at least in form of worship. Sat. morning services feature a full praise rock band, organized praise dancing, spontaneous dancing, flags, banners, some people kneeling while others stand with arms outstrectched, while others dance. I've been there for Sat. services, but my sister (who attends regularly) also tells me that at midweek services there are sometimes healings, visions, tongues, and people slain in the Spirit. Many of my sister's friends travel around the country to attend various Renewal conferences and Toronto and Gainsville are favorite destinations as well (those familiar with the Renewal movement will recognize these hubs of activity). They would definately consider themselves charismatic, but then I would tend to question how Adventist they really are.........so perhaps it is an oxymoron after all....... Chris | ||
| Cindy (Cindy) |
Sara, You have come fairly far out of the Adventist mindset to be able to now say "...but I know in my heart that I could never go back to it....". The Holy Spirit will give you more and more confidence and courage to speak up for the FREEDOM and REST you now have in CHRIST. This leaving the Adventist church voluntarily is something they can not understand! Sure, one can leave over disagreements with personalities or the politics of the system...but never truely over the core doctrines--especially the Sabbath! The belief is that you would always be led into the "truth"...studying your way IN. Not OUT! The last I remember, the three options for dropping a persons' name were: 1)TRANSFER to another ADVENTIST church... 2)DEATH... 3)APOSTACY. (and "apostacy" was meant to be a turning AWAY from the "Truth") Is this still true? If so,it really says a lot, doesn't it? Welcome also, Sara :>) Grace always, Cindy | ||
| Chris (Chris) |
Cindy, My wife was the secretary for a SDA plant church we did a couple of years ago. The quarterly report she had to file contained data on membership activity. They have now added a category called "By Letter". I assume this is for people like me who sent in a letter saying, "Please remove my name", but one wonders how they would differentiate this with apostacy given SDA attititudes towards leaving "The Truth". Chris | ||
| Cindy (Cindy) |
Chris, That is interesting. It does at least sound better than "Apostacy". My husband thinks there was also the designation "Missing"... when the person could not be located anywhere and the local church was trying to update its' membership list. What church do you attend in Lincoln? Have you joined in "membership" there? We have attended the same church for 2 and a half years but do not plan on signing on as "members" since there are a couple of its' beliefs that we don't agree with. But on the whole, it is the best place to worship that we've found here so far. And it has been a good place to be in... recovering from the effects of the past few years of insanity... I know coming from Adventism we are very cautious; could only join a local church where we believed in all of its' "statement of beliefs". I guess that is why I am just grateful to REST in the assurance that I BELONG to, and am aleady a "member" of, Christs' "church". Grace always, Cindy | ||
| Sabra (Sabra) |
Quote"Sabra, isn't a "charismatic SDA" church an oxymoron? What is your definition of charismatic? Doug "End Quote LOL!!! Well, they speak in tongues, had a man that was quadrapalegic (sp) for 20 some years healed and walking, they sing, praise and raise hands, what can I say? Seventh day Costals? IMO, God is doing a work there. They are studying Romans verse by verse right now and we need to pray for them.They know they may be out of the conference soon but say they will just have to go. Very interesting. | ||
| Freeatlast (Freeatlast) |
Adventecostal? | ||
| Chris (Chris) |
Cindy, Yes my wife and I are official members of CrossBridge Christian Church. CrossBridge in a new church plant affiliated with the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). We are actually quite involved as we are members of the core team that founded the church this last year. My wife is the worship coordinator and I am the lay pastor for teaching and discipleship.....in fact I'm preaching the sermon this Sunday. This involvement not withstanding, I can honestly say I fully understand your reluctance to officially join with any organization where you can't endorse all the beliefs 100%. Those from other backgrounds may not understand this reluctance, but I wrestle with these feelings frequently. The Disciples were a fairly easy step in that they claim "No Creed, but Christ" as a primary motto and the second most stated motto is, "In essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, in all things charity." The procedure for joining the congregation involves the pastor asking you in front of the congregation if you have excepted Jesus Christ as Lord and saviour and if you have acknowledged this acceptance through baptism. If you reply in the affirmative he will extend the right hand of Christian Fellowship to you. That's it! The disciples really strive to stay close to the simplicity they perceive was present in the church of Acts. My only concern about this is that the "essentials" are not particularly well defined. As a result some DOC churches are extrememly liberal. Our pastor is from a Baptist background and considers himself evangelical so the flavor of our congregation is more conservative since all control and direction is at a local level (we don't even have to send any funds to the DOC association if we don't want to....it's our choice). However, I do feel some qualms from time to time about being associated with (however loosely) an organization that does also allow for liberal extremes within it. So I do completely understand your feelings. Chris Lee Lincoln, NE | ||
| Colleentinker (Colleentinker) |
Chris and Cindy, I also understand your wrestling with joing churches where you don't embrace all the doctrines or implications. In fact, Chris, I was interested to read your description of your congregation, because I know of Disciples of Christ churches which have had quite a liberal bent. Ultimately, though, God puts us in congregations where he knows we can grow. Membership on paper is probably of secondary importance--although it's wonderful to be able to have the freedom to participate fully in local ministry, etc., which membership sometimes facilitates. Probably because of our backgrounds here, we worry more than the average person about what our membership signifies. And even in that concern, I believe God leads us where he wants us, and sometimes our reasons for belonging might not be clear to others while they're clear at that moment between us and God. The most important thing is to be able to stay open to Jesus and to grow or change or move or do as he leads us. Colleen |
