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Pray4rain
Registered user
Username: Pray4rain

Post Number: 1
Registered: 5-2004
Posted on Saturday, May 08, 2004 - 4:56 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi to all on this web sight,my wife and I left the SDA church 3 years ago and we are looking for others to talk with.I may have been on this sight when we first left but im not sure.Anyhow we have lost most of our friends and quite a bit of family over this and are quite down about it,not that we would ever consider going back to that madness, jsut missing some of our friends and we are hoping to make a few here as we journey on towards eternity.
pray4rain
Thomas1
Registered user
Username: Thomas1

Post Number: 112
Registered: 4-2002
Posted on Saturday, May 08, 2004 - 6:26 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Welcome home, friend.

You will find your story repeated many times over here, among friends. Leaving can leave a whole lot of holes in your family life, especially if you have most of your family still left behind. Please remember what Jesus said, that if we loose family, or houses or lands, we will receive much more in this life, and eternal life, in the next.

Welcome. You have come to a very welcome place!

In His grace
<><
Thomas
Praisegod
Registered user
Username: Praisegod

Post Number: 50
Registered: 3-2004
Posted on Saturday, May 08, 2004 - 7:18 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Welcome! You will find a supportive atmosphere in this forum. I wonder what it is about three years? I, too, have been processing out about three years when I felt a need for something like this.

Praise God...
Lydell
Registered user
Username: Lydell

Post Number: 592
Registered: 7-2000
Posted on Saturday, May 08, 2004 - 7:20 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Welcome Pray4rain. So have you and your wife found a church home? That will go so far i aking you feel connected and back in balance.
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 34
Registered: 3-2004
Posted on Saturday, May 08, 2004 - 10:00 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Welcome Pray4rain. You can be sure that the people here will help you and pray for you. They are very supportive. It was just this January that I did not rejoin the SDA church and I could not get better support. Have you found a church home yet?? That will help so much.
Thank God He got you out.
Diana
Dennis
Registered user
Username: Dennis

Post Number: 69
Registered: 4-2000
Posted on Sunday, May 09, 2004 - 5:43 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

WELCOME to this forum, Pray4rain. God has great plans for your life.
Jonalaska
Registered user
Username: Jonalaska

Post Number: 1
Registered: 5-2004
Posted on Sunday, May 09, 2004 - 5:56 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Dear Pray4rain,

My wife and I just left the church a week ago. We have loved every congregation we had been in before this one we just left. The hypocrisy we were witnessing here was just too much. Maybe in 3 years we'll be looking back as you are, but for now we are smiling as we feel a big burden has been lifted. May God grant you peace and understanding as you find a palce within the larger Body of Christ.
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker

Post Number: 221
Registered: 12-2003
Posted on Sunday, May 09, 2004 - 10:06 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Welcome, Pray4rain and Jonalaska! You certainly have come to a place where people understand your experience. We'd love to hear more of your stories.

Although the details of everyone's journeys out are different, still there does seem to be an overarching pattern that we hold in common. When we finally get around to leaving (or deciding that we will leave soon), we all seem to cycle back and forth through the classic stages of grief. Some of us experience certain emotions more intenesely than others, but we all experience the bargaining (I'll just stay and work for change from within), the denial (my Adventist family and friends will still love me--after all, it's ME, not the religion that they like---), the anger (I've been deceived, and I'd like to expose them and get my money back), the depression (Who am I without my SDA identity? I've lost myself and my life and my culture and my community. I have nothing left.), and finally resolution (God has redeemed even my Adventism and has made me His child; the only identity I have or need to have is daughter/son of God).

On top of the grief experience, we also experience the fear that EGW was right, that we are losing our salvation by leaving. One thing we know for sure: fear is not from God. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18)

God will continue to guide you and redeem everything you bring to Him. He wastes nothing that happens in your life! Freedom is His will for us! (Gal. 5;1)

Colleen
Esther
Registered user
Username: Esther

Post Number: 1
Registered: 5-2004
Posted on Monday, May 10, 2004 - 5:43 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi all. This seems like an appropriate spot to pop in. I want to thank everyone on this forum, especially Colleen for the above post. I have been shadowing in and following your threads for a little over a month. Just three months ago I set out to disprove an allegation against EGW, and it set me, of course, into a whole new world.

As I've grappled with the emotional/logical roller coaster, and studied day and night, every time that I felt that this was so wrong/crazy...one of you would post something (a note or a text) that perfectly unveiled the truth a little more, or brought me to my knees before God...but has always been just the thing that I needed to give me peace.

I'm still struggling between peace and the fear that "what if EGW's right", but God continues to love and reassure me. Anyway, thank you for sharing your thoughts and emotions with me and helping me to get where I am.
Tealeaves
Registered user
Username: Tealeaves

Post Number: 4
Registered: 5-2004
Posted on Monday, May 10, 2004 - 9:43 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Esther,
we'll be praying for you! Someone here said something appropos this last week. They said when you are on this journey of discovery, and you hear a voice nagging and shouting at you in your head to shape up and get "back in line", filling you with doubt... remember that God doesn't shout at us, He doesn't nag us (because He doesn't goad us into anything). He offers guidance, He reassures us, He is our Peace!

Continue to trust Him, He is indeed all we need, not only for salvation, but for a blessed life here on earth. -- He can fill the holes you feel with something even better, He wants to do just that!

Praisegod
Registered user
Username: Praisegod

Post Number: 52
Registered: 3-2004
Posted on Monday, May 10, 2004 - 10:56 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Wow! I love all the new people popping in. Are there any other lurkers out there who would like to identify themselves?

Esther, I can relate to what happened to you with that ìHoly Ghost set-upî. With me, someone had asked me to study out the New Covenant to help clarify some points, knowing full well what I would find. Then the doctrines start to fall like dominoes.

Praise God...
Pray4rain
Registered user
Username: Pray4rain

Post Number: 2
Registered: 5-2004
Posted on Monday, May 10, 2004 - 1:43 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Thanks to everyone for the welcome,it is nice to know we are welcome somewhere. We have found a nondenom. church that is nearby and we love the people there but unfortunately they are an older crowd without children we have 2 and sometimes they are the only kids there so we are going to start again the long process of finding a church.
I think the best way to describe things for us is just being bone tired,when we came home(after my career in the military came to an end) we kind of assumed that we would be able to just kind of slip right back into our old neck of the woods without any problems,instead we lost most of our friends(there is one family that is barely SDA that does thins with us)and my sister has dropped us after trying to convince us that they were right.So we have literally found ourselves in a completely new world and it has been a bit of a shock. Ithink it has been hard too because in a mlitary community you become close to people so even though you might believe diffrently you hang together and all is good.
Now please dont take me wrong,we have NO plans to ever go back to that kind of life living in constant fear and slavery,we are just kind of dealing with alot of culture shock.
The good part of all this ,besides the fact that Jesus has set us free, is that our children will never have to deal with all of it.
Any how thanks for being here and for all the messages.
pray4rain
Chris
Registered user
Username: Chris

Post Number: 316
Registered: 7-2003
Posted on Monday, May 10, 2004 - 2:21 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

"Bone tired".......that's a great description of what it feels like sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I will never be completely free of the net of Adventism because of all the pressures that constantly come from family and friends who are still in Adventism. I just feel exhausted sometimes after yet another round of being attacked for having left "The Truth". If it weren't for the church family God has led us to and the wonderful friends we have made there I think it would be pretty unbearable. As it is, I believe the Lord has blessed us in so many ways that I just need to be thankful for what He's done and simply accept the burdens. The burdens don't compare to the riches of His blessings. But I sure do identify with your fatigue.

Chris
Steve
Registered user
Username: Steve

Post Number: 31
Registered: 7-2000
Posted on Monday, May 10, 2004 - 2:21 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi Pray4rain,

I physically left the church in 2000 (musta been the Y2K bug!) I met with Richard and Colleen and a number of other formers on New Year's Eve, 12/31/99.

Although I've attended several churches, it has been difficult to find a church near home that I can be involved with on a regular basis. Finally, last Sunday (5/2/04) I attended a church near my home. The preacher is going through the book of Hebrews, and definitely fed me the word. The Sunday school class is going through the book (not sure of the title) How to Become a Contagious Christian, by Hybels, Strobel and Mittleberg.

They're evangelical and doctrinally orthodox conservative Christian.

I've attended once. I finally feel like I've found a church that not only has orthodox Biblical doctrines, but also preaches and teaches in line with those beliefs.

I've struggled with attendance at other churches as they have orthodox Biblical doctrines but contradict some of those statements in their practice and preaching.

It may take you one visit or several to various churches to find the church into which God is leading you.

Follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

Steve
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker

Post Number: 224
Registered: 12-2003
Posted on Monday, May 10, 2004 - 3:25 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Esther, Welcome! We're glad you're here. The Holy Spirit will comfort and reassure you as you continue to discover truth. Knowing Jesus is more than worth the trauma of leaving!

Colleen
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 38
Registered: 3-2004
Posted on Monday, May 10, 2004 - 6:00 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Esther,
Thanks for identifying yourself and for popping in. When I discovered EGW's plagiarism I wrote to Dale Ratzlaff. He wrote back "first you must determine once and for all about EGW. If she is a true prophet then you must be an SDA. If she is not and her writings conflict with the Bible then you can forget about her". That did it for me. I had read so much about her plagiarism, then she said she had been inspired by God. I read about the test of a true prophet on one of the web sites I have bookmarked. Then and there I told God I could not be SDA anymore. It was after that I bought a Stong's Bible concordance and decided to study SDA doctrine for myself. I had never done that with a concordance. I wanted to know what the Bible really taught. I also did a lot of reading from the various websites. I had my Bible there to see if the writer was quoting the Bible correctly. That is when I discovered that the SDA church is misleading the people in the Sabbath, tithing, the covenants and I finally learned what the Gospel is. I did not learn that in SDA schools. The Holy Spirit led me through all this.
God will lead you through all you are going through, just like he did each of us here at this web site.
Ask any questions you want and some one will answer you.
I like and agree with Colleen's statement above: "Knowing Jesus is more than worth the trauma of leaving!" Amen, amen, amen!!
Diana

I will pray for you, as I am sure the others are doing.
Esther
Registered user
Username: Esther

Post Number: 2
Registered: 5-2004
Posted on Tuesday, May 11, 2004 - 5:48 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Thank you everyone, for the warm welcome! And Jesus is worth it all! I can't tell you how emotional I've been the last few weeks as Iíve been letting go of the "legalism" and learning to really lean on Christ.

Diana, I had to go through the "falling" of EGW first too. I ran across Dirk Andersonís web site and set out to disprove himÖlol :-) After she fell, I went through a week of terror, in wondering what was left to believe in. But God has been near me, and led me back through all the stages of grief, etc. and then I was able to take a closer look at the other doctrines. And I too, wrote Dale Ratzlaff and Greg Taylor.

The hardest part now that I've made the decision to break away, is actually going about it. I know most of you have already done or at least started thisÖand for awhile, after I knew the truth, I decided to study to see if I couldnít justify it. I read all of Bacchiocci's stuff, but he was never able to answer my questions. So, here I am. How did some of you tell your families? My father and my father-in-law are SDA pastors. My grandparents are devout EGW supporting SDAís and 3rd generation missionaries. It's like, if I try to tell them what they've believed and taught for their lifetimes isn't truth, it will disvalidate them. And not that I want to convince them that they are wrongÖ the Holy Spirit will do that when they're ready, but, when I have to tell them that I don't believe that way any more, I will have to give an explanation. Talk about trembling in my boots :-)

I don't know if any of you know, but I'm in the AU areaÖand was wondering anyone knows any formers here? My husband and I are looking for fellowship, and will continue attending our SDA church until we have a "new church family". My husband is a little reluctant to just start going and visiting churches (especially the whole Sunday thing) as heís following God's lead, but at a slower pace than I went through it because of the time I was able to invest in devouring all the information I was able to find.

Anyway. Sorry for the long windedness!
God's blessings and peace to everyone!
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 42
Registered: 3-2004
Posted on Tuesday, May 11, 2004 - 6:45 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Esther,
I guess I have had it easier than a lot of you. My parents are dead. Although all my brothers and sisters were raised SDA, none of us have practiced the SDA beliefs for a long time. So when I told my oldest sister, she was very understanding. Another sister (she works part time at La Sierra College) said she would send me information, probably about SDAs and I told her not to bother. She was visiting a couple of weeks ago. When I came home from church I told her about my new church and she was encouraging. My youngest sister just listens to me and I can tell by the look on her face when I need to stop talking. Two of my younger brothers are very encouraging and so is my son. I have another sister and brother to tell, but I think it will be no problem to them. Thank you God. Now my problem is to tell them in such a way as they will get curious and start studying the Bible for themselves. I will leave that up to God.
So I have no family disappointed in me and my decision.
I am praying for you right now as I write this, that you and your family will find a church where you will be fed the Word of God and His gospel.
God bless you and keep writing to us. We care for you and love you very much.
Diana
Melissa
Registered user
Username: Melissa

Post Number: 308
Registered: 7-2003
Posted on Tuesday, May 11, 2004 - 9:09 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Esther, I'm curious, do/did you go to the church where Bruce/Dorthy Hayward are (he's a pastor/she's a counsellor?? or something) in BSprings, MI?
Esther
Registered user
Username: Esther

Post Number: 3
Registered: 5-2004
Posted on Tuesday, May 11, 2004 - 11:13 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Melissa, I do not attend the same church as they do, but have had several experiences with them as I've worked in the community, etc. Dorothy is in counseling, and does help many people, I took a great class from her several years ago when I was attending AU as a student. But other than that I don't know them all that well.

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