| Author | Message | ||
| Chris Registered user Username: Chris Post Number: 305 Registered: 7-2003 |
Jeannette, I went to services on Sunday morning by myself for some time before my wife was comfortable enough to go. We finally transitioned together by compromising and attending Sat. night services together for a while until she was comforatble enough to attend the same church the next morning instead. It helped that there was a more robust kids program on Sunday morning as compared to Sat. night so in some ways switching to Sunday morning for the kids made it easier. She's absolutely fine with it now and very involved with our church. I know four other former SDA couples who transitione exactly the same way (Sat. night first then Sun.). Chris | ||
| Jdpascal Registered user Username: Jdpascal Post Number: 2 Registered: 10-2003 |
Thanks for the warm welcomefrom everyone. I have been lurking here for some time now and this topic finally got me worked up enough to have to say my piece(peace). Now I've got it off my chest it is so easy to see now that I am away from the SYSTEM to see the spin and twist they put on everything. From the reasons for people leaving the sda to the reasoning behind the failure to identify who is sponsoring a series of meetings, the rationalization required to pull it all off seeps into other areas of a persons life and diminishes the chances for a solid relationship with Jesus. | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 210 Registered: 12-2003 |
I love how you said that, Jdpascal: the rationalizaion "diminshes the chances for a solid relationship with Jesus." That is SO TRUE! Jeannette, I am so happy you went and enjoyed church! I'll continue to pray for your husband and also for you! Oh, and thank you for sharing the great song lyrics, Leigh. Colleen | ||
| Pheeki Registered user Username: Pheeki Post Number: 305 Registered: 1-2003 |
The head elder of the local SDA we used to attend has been emailing me appologizing profusely for the "hurt" the church has caused...he wants to make ammends. I keep telling him it wasn't anything they did but the doctrines that the Holy Spirit revealed to me that were anti-Gospel. He still keeps harping on "hurts" done to me. He cannot accept the my answer...go figure. | ||
| Praisegod Registered user Username: Praisegod Post Number: 47 Registered: 3-2004 |
Chris, on my search for a church I've thought a lot about what you said. Yesterday I went to the large Calvary Chapel here. Their praise and worship is always very Spirit-filled and this church is high on my list partially because they have a 6:00 pm Saturday service. Since I'm choosing alone but praying for my husband to join me, I know the Saturday transition may be a very significant feature. In fact, I did get my husband to admit he'd be much more comfortable going on Saturday than on Sunday. Just the fact he'd even answer the question shows the Holy Spirit is working. Praise God... | ||
| Dennisrainwater Registered user Username: Dennisrainwater Post Number: 88 Registered: 8-2000 |
Hi-- I've sent a testimony e-mail to the VOP, It Is Written, Amazing Facts, and Quiet Hour. What am I missing? Are there other SDA ministries I've forgotten who might need to be informed that many of us are leaving because the Holy Spirit has called us out (instead of us being hurt by someone in the church, as seems to be generally assumed)? Welcome JDPascal. You've joined a warm and understanding family here! Amazed by Grace, Den <>< | ||
| Dane Registered user Username: Dane Post Number: 13 Registered: 4-2004 |
Pheeki and Den, Your comments about SDA's not getting it that many leave, not because of hurt, but because of theology is one of the psychological marks of a cultic group. In the late 70's and early 80's as we were transistioning out it was the same way. Most couldn't accept that we had honest differences in belief, so therefore we must have had our feelings hurt. Contrast this to most normal groups/denominations that realize that Christians can disagree on certain concepts and still be in fellowship. Dane | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 27 Registered: 3-2004 |
I have sent in why I left/did not rejoin the SDA church also. Oh, and I have found a wonderful Christian church to attend. It is the Central Christian Church in Henderson. I have seen it from the freeway driving around Las Vegas and last Sunday, God impressed me to visit. I felt right at home as soon as I entered the church and sat down. I am enrolled in two courses, given by the church, that give the pupils the essentials of salvation. Never in all my years as an SDA did I ever hear that phrase, "These are the essentials of salvation". There are all kinds of things to get involved in and because I have studied an untruth for so long, I am studying the Bible and taking two courses to find out what the Bible says. I am also reading the Bible and have just started I Corinthians. I like the way Paul said it in 1 Cor 2:2: "for I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified". That I what I want to do. Colleen, thank you for your letters to me before I started posting here. They were a God send and very encouraging. So far, probably because I am not a member of the SDA church, no one has tried to contact me to ask me back to church. A couple of people called and asked me if I was okay because I had not been at church. I told them that I had found out that EGW was not inspired and had plagiarized. That was before I started reading every thing on the web sites in depth and before I got very far in the Bible. I am amazed that there are so many people who love God and are Christians. One of my patients is a Baptist minister. I can converse with him, knowing he is not an apostate and it feels strange because I am used to doing things the SDA way. That strange feeling will go away eventually. Thanks to all of you I am growing as a Christian. Thanks for your encouragement. | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 214 Registered: 12-2003 |
Flyinglady, I am so glad you've found a church! Isn't it amazing how your conversations with people change? It was fun to read your description of your talks with the Baptist minister; I understand that stange new feeling, and you're right: it will go away eventually. You will also find, though, that you will have a deep understanding of certain kinds of issues you'll see in many Christians. That insight will come in part from your experience with the deception and the blindness and the longings of Adventism. God is so good to redeem all of our past! Praising God for being sovereign and Savior, Colleen | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 29 Registered: 3-2004 |
I have a question for all of you. I do not know where to post it, so I am posting it here. I have been asking God, because I am divorced, if I can remarry. Now I know the Bible teaches that adultery is the only reason one can divorce. Then yesterday I found the following text as I read I Cor. 7:15 in the Berkely modern language Bible. "In case the unbeliever wants to separate, let here be separation; the brother of the sister is under such circumstances not tied down. But God has called you to enjoy peace". My ex is the one who applied for the divorce. He was not an SDA and I was. It is a loooooong story. The KJV says "But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases; but God hath called us to peace." I do not have any Bible commentaries or Bible dictionaries or anything else from which to study, so will you please tell me what this is saying?? Thanks. Diana | ||
| Melissa Registered user Username: Melissa Post Number: 303 Registered: 7-2003 |
As one who is divorced, and initiated the divorce, I too have struggled with that. I can't really explain the specifics of the scriptures very well, but I have listened to a wonderful pastor talk about this passage and others and came across with one general understanding...if God leads someone in my life for me to marry, it's okay to marry him. Though my ex didn't do any of the paperwork, he basically abandoned me emotionally, psychologically and physically, though we still shared the same house. He had taken his ring off and had gone about staying out all night, being gone for days at a time sometimes, leaving me alone with the kids....yet in the end, he accused me of being unfaithful because I filed for divorce. Go figure.... I've met few people who divorced for simple reasons. Most of the situations are very complex and involve a variety of circumstances and nuances. Unless you feel particularly burdened that you could reconcile your marriage, the rest of that passage seems to be saying to start where you are today and look forward...the passage is confusing because Paul seems to be negative towards marriage because it gets in the way of serving God, yet God himself said it is not good for man to be alone. So, there has to have been something going on in that church that brought these statements from Paul because I'm sure he wasn't contradicting God. I may have heard, may be dreaming, that newly saved people were divorcing their unsaved spouses because they weren't saved etc. and it was creating problems and that is the issue being addressed. Just reading through the context, however, it seems that God is saying that when we come to Christ, he starts with us where we are. If unsaved spouses leave, let them go. I don't know the circumstances of your situation, and it really seems irrelevant on some level if you're seeking God's direction in your life. I don't know why some people get married and others are left to singleness, but I have learned that trying to force something with the wrong person is going from the frying pan to the fire. Elsewhere we are told to learn to be content in whatever circumstances ... and whether or not it is "okay" to marry seems secondary based upon what God's direction for my life may be. If it's okay, but God has other ideas, then I hopefully will submit my will to God's. I personally don't enjoy being a single parent and carrying all of the burden of a family alone. But I have learned a contentment with singleness I never thought I would have had. I have a peace with God even though there are many circumstances which are less than optimal and I occasionally gripe at God about it. I have chosen to TRY to not let my circumstances rule me ... some days better than others. I still have hopes and dreams and struggle daily to say "thy will be done". I know there are people who take the passages against divorce and say a person should never marry again unless it was for immorality, etc. but that seems to say divorce is the only sin you can't bounce back from...and maybe that's my take on it because I hope to eventually find someone. But I know that if I follow God, he won't lead me wrong. So, I hope it's okay to get married again some day, but I am trying diligently to wait for the situation God has for me, rather than trying to create one myself...again, easier some days than others. Much of this is opinion and not necessarily an explanation of scripture. There are others here who i believe have struggled with that question, so hopefully they'll chime in from their learnings.... | ||
| Conniegodenick Registered user Username: Conniegodenick Post Number: 16 Registered: 3-2004 |
Ditto what Melissa said. I believe that there is no sin/situation that God cannot work through and He doesn't condemn us forever for our mistakes. I'm also divorced and would like to meet that someone special but perhaps right now I need to focus on my 3 daughters. At the moment I've not met anyone so I'm accepting singleness right now as God's will for my life. That doesn't mean that I don't struggle with loneliness or look with secret longing at the happiness of other couples. It's a daily thing to surrender myself to this state of being and I try to make the best of each day. But I agree completely with Melissa's explanation of what Paul says. | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 35 Registered: 3-2004 |
Thank you ladies for your responses. I have been single 24 years and am happy where I am in life right now, thanks to God. But I do get tired of coming home to an empty house with no one to share my day and listen to some one else. I belong to a couple of dating web sites. I met one man, who was very compatible with me. But it turned out he had some interests that were not Biblical, such as reincarnation and astrology and something called Avatar. When I looked up Avatar on the internet it was connected with the occult. This man had been to visit me. I wrote to him and told him it would be in my best interests if he did not visit again. I started writing to him about the time I found out about EGW and her plagiarism. So I was going through a lot of changes when it came to my spiritual beliefs. I want a Christian man, if that is what God wants for me. My son is grown and married and I am a grandmother. Just today, after reading my Bible, I decided to do as the Bible says: Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you. So I turned over all the men in my life, my job, my extracurricular activities to God and am focusing on seeking God's kingdom first. Everything will fall into place, God's way, when I do that. Diana | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 222 Registered: 12-2003 |
I agree. When we seek God and his kingdom, he brings to us what we need. God's forgiveness covers every sin; God also gives us His mind and the His patience so we can wait on Him instead of pursuing our own interests first. The fact is that God's Spirit is Who gives us completion and meaning and fulfillment, and whatever He places before us, He equips us to embrace. He is completely faithful. Colleen | ||
| Debbie Registered user Username: Debbie Post Number: 42 Registered: 7-2000 |
I have been in a similar situation to that of Melissa, in that I got to the point where I felt I had to initiate my own divorce due to "marital unfaithfulness." Though my ex-husband was technically unfaithful in the biblical sense. He was unfaithful in many other ways as well--ways that standardly are not recognized by most churches. But the main thing was that he was not willing to repent--he would not fully do what was necessary to remain faithful to his marriage vows, and he claimed to be a Christian. Before I made the decision to leave, I remember seeing a bible verse in a new light. This bible verse really helped me along in my decision. It is from Matthew 19:6: "Therefore, what GOD has joined together let not MAN separate." I received courage from this verse. I believe it is saying that there are times when God says it is time to leave. Before I left I also sought biblical counseling from my church about my decision. I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing. I also knew I would need the strength due the fact that I expected my ex to try to use the bible against me and to try to convince the church (and everyone else who would listen) that I didn't have biblical grounds for divorce after I left (which he did--but my church, and most of my friends, didn't buy his manipulation techniques). As some of you already, know I've never been SDA, but my ex was raised Adventist, and his family is mostly Adventist (His father is a "former adventist" although he's one of those scary types). I discovered the long, hard way that though he was no longer going to SDA church, he was still an SDA through and through (though he would not and did not recognize it. At any rate, I did not handle the divorce situation perfectly, of course, and who does?? A divorce is a terribly emotional ordeal. Not something I would recommend to anyone unless they are ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE it is God leading them in that direction. No matter what, I don't think the scars of divorce ever completely heal. Which is why I think it is so important that God warns us to be careful before we marry, that we are marrying the right person. And I also believe that's why God hates divorce (and so do I after experiencing it, for that matter). I stand firm in my belief, however, that there are times when it is necessary. I am very thankful that I have no children, and that I am now married to a loving Christian man, who is humble, accepting and supportive, and who also has no children. Considering our age, that is a miracle in itself.  Despite the fact that I've never been SDA, however, I do still struggle with the issues of the sublety of the deception, the psychological damage it causes those caught in its clutches (whether raised in it or enculterated into it through marriage, etc.). But I also know that God doesn't allow into our lives more than we can handle and that when we are trusting in Him, he works out all things for good. (Rom 8:28) Trusting in His Faithfulness, Debbie | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 527 Registered: 11-2002 |
Who do you send in to how come you are no longer SDA? The Review? Do I need to call and ask for a particular mailing from the denomination and then write my statement out on it or can I just send one in. Please, print the address here on this topic that I can send my statement to. I'm sure my relatives won't order me the Welcome Back packet because they know me so well that they know I'd really like getting one so they won't do it. Thanks. | ||
| Debbie Registered user Username: Debbie Post Number: 45 Registered: 7-2000 |
Susan_2 I don't think there is a specific place, based on two letters posted on this site (that of Steve Pitcher and Cora Holder, listed under "stories"). It appears that they just sent their letter of resignation to the place where they were attending regularly. In other words, as far as I know, you should just be able to write you statement and send it in to the church you are attending. You probably already know which district/conference your church belongs to, right? At any rate, Steve's and Cora's letters are available for sample/model purposes to help you in your writing, if you need it. I'm close with Cora, So I can also call her to find out for sure, in case you don't find out before that from other members on the forum. She's working today, so I'll catch her later. God Bless You Debbie | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 541 Registered: 11-2002 |
I had thought that the General Conference was doing a project sending out packets inviting the wayword back and in these packets was some sort of offical paperwork to fill out requesting the local SDA pastor to come and give an offical invite to bring the lost back into their fold. That's kind of what I was looking for. Actually my name was not on the offical SDA membership very long. I was raised SDA. Then at age 17 I decided I wanted to be bapitized. I asked the local SDA mimister to bapitize me on Profession of the Christian Faith. He refused, telling me that it was his policy that whenever he bapitized someone they had to become an offical member of the Adventist church. Then he went on to telk me if I did not want to be a member of the Adventist church that as soon as I got home after I was bapitized I could send in a letter asking my name be removed from the SDA church. I did this. I never got an acknowledgement from the church that they actually removed my name so I wrote another letter to the conference when I was 22 years old. Over the years I've written the SDA church telling them if my name is on any church membership list I want it removed. I have never gotten a reply. That is what is frustrating to me that I have never recived a reply. Finilly I found out that the SDA ministers have quotas of the # of people they are to bapitize per year and make members of the greater SDA church body and this probably is how come that minister had the policy he did. Then around 5 years age I started attending a local Lutheran church and I wanted the pastor there to bapitize me. He really was reluctant to do so because they believe in one bapitism. I explained the situtation of the first time with him and I told him how looney the SDA church is. He kept insisting the only real difference between SDA and mainstream prostatent is Saturday vs. Sunday worship, not eating the unclean meats and a few other things. I told him there is a lot more to it than that and ordered him Cultic Doctrines from Dale R.. Then the pastor bapitzed me on Profession of Christian Faith around 3 years ago and a year later I requested membership in the Lutheran tradition. | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 237 Registered: 12-2003 |
Susan, Voice of Prophecy is conducting a campaign "For people not currently active in church." (Read that "in an Adventist church"--I presume.) They have asked for stories of why people have left. You can email your story to editor Mike Jones at mjones@packlink.com, or you can write to Voice of Prophecy, 101 W. Cochran St., Simi Valley, CA 93065. Colleen | ||
| Pheeki Registered user Username: Pheeki Post Number: 310 Registered: 1-2003 |
Hey, I just wanted to tell you all that I finally got around to requesting my membership be dropped from the SDA church. I must tell you I had a little twinge...it seems so permanent and yet I know I will never belong to them again. But I guess it is like letting go of a part of your identity...so it hurts a little. They will bring it before the board tonight and I will be talked about...that makes me a little uncomfortable but oh well. |
