This Is Becoming Hilarious Log Out | Topics | Search
Moderators | Edit Profile

Former Adventist Fellowship Forum » ARCHIVED DISCUSSIONS 3 » Interesting Websites » This Is Becoming Hilarious « Previous Next »

  Thread Last Poster Posts Pages Last Post
  Start New Thread        

Author Message
Hrobinsonw
Registered user
Username: Hrobinsonw

Post Number: 68
Registered: 7-2004
Posted on Tuesday, November 02, 2004 - 11:50 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

For the past few weeks my fiance's has been skipping her sabbath service and going to church with me. Now, about 2 months ago, her parents met with us so her mother could try breaking us up. She told me how much my fiance had issues, etc. Basically she figured that she would befriend me. Then speak negatively of her daughter so that I would get scared and leave her. I mean her mother swore that it wasn't because I was non-adventist.

Now this past weekend my parents came in to town to look at the wedding site. They met us at Dreamland Barbecue (a pork Rib joint) for dinner. That was classic. But back to the story. After her mother nitpicked the site, which is the Botanical Gardens here, she asked could she meet with my parents alone. She gave the exact same argument but harder to my parents. She told them how my fiance comes from a messed up background, and how she isn't ready to be married because she has issues. My parents told me that basically she tried to make her own daughter look very bad to them. So after my parents tell her that they love Davonna, and we seem perfect for each other. Then the mother just flat told them that they aren't paying for a wedding. So now that my parents didn't seem to buy it. She is now wanting to meet with my fiance one on one. She wants her to meet with the local SDA pastor at her church so he can convince her to not marry me. My fiance' always told me that her mother is very manipulative and vindictive. I never believed her until now. It is actually quite hilarious. I haven't had a biblical discussion with my fiance' in months. She wanting to explore on her own. And I love it. And I love her all the more for it. Thanks for your ear guys.
Lydell
Registered user
Username: Lydell

Post Number: 644
Registered: 7-2000
Posted on Tuesday, November 02, 2004 - 1:57 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hmmm, you know, that little discussion mama wants to have just could be the tiebreaker for your fiance. Maybe it is something twisted in my personality, but if someone tries to badmouth something that I am seeing is a good thing, it just drives me to examine it all again to see if it really is as great as I think it is. After all, they have already told me rotten stuff about it....I've heard that side...so I have to examine on my own to make sure it really is good. And then it truly becomes MINE and can't be taken away. ummmm....stubbornness?
Susan_2
Registered user
Username: Susan_2

Post Number: 1065
Registered: 11-2002
Posted on Tuesday, November 02, 2004 - 8:35 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

WOW! What a story. I hope after you and your lady get married you plan on living at least 100 miles from your mother-in-law. Your lady sounds like she's beginning to question some of her upbringing. And, I think you are in for a big adventure. My prayers of best wishes are with you.
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 701
Registered: 3-2004
Posted on Tuesday, November 02, 2004 - 9:21 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hrob,
PLEASE, do not marry until she has left the SDA church and developed a relationship with Jesus on her own. It would be nice if she moved away from her parents also so she can think without her Mom trying to manipulate her and guilt trip her back into the SDA church. I continue to pray for the both of you. I pray she has the Biblical background to withstand her Mom's assault, as that is what it is. God loves both of you and i know He wants both of you to have only Jesus as your focus.
He is awesome.
Diana
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker

Post Number: 894
Registered: 12-2003
Posted on Wednesday, November 03, 2004 - 10:08 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hrob, I'm also continuing to pray for you and your fiancee. I'm afraid I have to agree with Diana--while it's clear that your fiancee is being brought to a crisis where she has to make some decisions about her mother's role in her life (a good thing!), she's not out of the woods, and her mother is not close to being done trying to tell her what to do.

Whatever conflicts you see now will become part of your marriage. If your fiancee hasn't taken a firm stand and drawn secure boundaries around herself and you--and if she hasn't surrendered to Jesus and to the life and worship changes that surrender would bring, your life will be a continual battleground. You'll feel like you're in competition with her mother and even the target of attack at times.

But, Hrob, we'll love you whatever happens!

With prayers for you,
Colleen
Hrobinsonw
Registered user
Username: Hrobinsonw

Post Number: 70
Registered: 7-2004
Posted on Wednesday, November 03, 2004 - 11:46 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

The meeting never happened. Something came up. This morning on the way to work, she pulled some paper work that I had lost out of her bag. It was a print out of the SDA history with William Miller, EGW, Joseph Bates. At first I got a little bothered because she had to have taken it from me without me knowing because I keep my research into the Bible in a separate manilla folder. Then she started telling how growing up as an Adventist, she was never taught about the begining. She just thought that her religion was a direct influence of the Bible and that everyone else was lost. The she quoted, "no man knows the day nor the hour." Now I am begining to see where this confession is going. She was asking about why someone would try and predict the coming of Christ, and then basically start a religion off of that. She was like, "my religion was founded on something false." Then she continued about how know one else would believe her. Soooooo many things that she must have been raised to believe began coming out of her mouth. She said how she always questioned her belief. Now she is wanting to read the books that I have coming from Life Assurance. It will be a long process but I think she may be on her way out. I am leaving my church. She wants to go with me on Sundays to try other churches out. She told me how she like the feeling of going to Sunday churches.
Melissa
Registered user
Username: Melissa

Post Number: 571
Registered: 7-2003
Posted on Wednesday, November 03, 2004 - 2:41 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hrob, I would have given gold to hear such words at one point, but this has to be a confusing time for her. I truly hope for you and her that she has had the veil removed. I suspect gentleness with definite boundaries before proceeding into happily every after is still recommended. Much love in Christ, my friend.
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 703
Registered: 3-2004
Posted on Wednesday, November 03, 2004 - 4:51 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hrob, I am so glad she is questioning and reading the books from LAM. I will continue to pray for the both of you. Just do not do anything rash.
God loves you.
Diana
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker

Post Number: 901
Registered: 12-2003
Posted on Thursday, November 04, 2004 - 9:53 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Praise God for her "opening eyes". I'll also continue to pray for you and her--but take your time. If she's serious about knowing the reality, she'll be angry and depressed and exhilarated alternatingly. Waking up from Adventism is truly waking up from a cult. It takes at least two years to become more or less centered and stable. If she comes to truly know Jesus as her own Savior, He will give her a Rock to anchor herself to while she "debriefs" and deals with what is bound to be uhbelievable anger and manipulation from her family.

Take it slowly, Hrob--and if the wedding needs to be postponed, that's OK. You'll have a FAR happier and more solid marriage if you begin with your beliefs and values and boundaries in complete agreement. If she's really responding to truth, time is on your side. Take plenty of it!

Colleen

Add Your Message Here
Posting is currently disabled in this topic. Contact your discussion moderator for more information.

Topics | Last Day | Last Week | Tree View | Search | Help/Instructions | Program Credits Administration