| Author |
Message |
Esther
Registered user
Username: Esther
Post Number: 90
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, December 02, 2004 - 5:27 am: |     |
Hrob,
Congradulations! I am so happy for you and your new wife! As a wife myself, I must encourage you to always remember how much a spiritual leader will mean to her. Especially for her being the one having to cut the "unbiblical" cords (thanks Dd).
Also, don't feel bad about the quick marriage either. My husband and I got married with some tension between our families...and quite frankly, the wedding planning was a nightmare. Sometimes, we talk about wishing we just done the JP. So, sometimes that's a blessing 
I pray that God will bless you and your wife richly with a home filled with love for Him and for each other...and for the new little one who will join you this next year!
Esther |
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker
Post Number: 1021
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, December 02, 2004 - 8:42 am: | |
Yes, Hrob, encourage your wife to join us when the time is right, as helovesme2 said. She really needs you to be her spiritual and emotional protection right now. Ask God to show you how to love her for Him.
Colleen |
Melissa
Registered user
Username: Melissa
Post Number: 605
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, December 02, 2004 - 11:17 am: | |
Hrob, double congratulations. I did not make the choice you did (to marry), but I know the mixed bag of emotions. My prayer for you both is unity and strength in the Lord.
The best thing you can do for your to-be-child is find a spiritual unity for his parents. As gently and steadfastly as possible, try to find a church where you can welcome this little bundle as a family together. Children are a complete joy. Your whole life is about to change in a way you can't even imagine. Get some sleep....you'll need it
Many blessings to you. |
Dd
Registered user
Username: Dd
Post Number: 233
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, December 02, 2004 - 11:30 am: | |
Rob my friend...I just did a week's study on Hebrews 5 and 6. The author is quite strong in telling the Jews to "Grow Up!" It is not enough to know Jesus and believe in Him. The author says that is just "milk" or "elementary teachings".
That is what most SDAs live on...they have not moved on to "solid food" or a continued understanding of God and righteousness through daily study of God's Word. Oh, yes, they "study" all right...The Review, their Sabbath School quarterly, the daily R&H devotional book, EGW books, Signs of the Times, 3 ABN...I KNOW these things because I lived it for almost 40 years!
But the Hebrews author (who I personally believe was a woman because of the blarring openness followed by warm encouragement ) says that we should "press on to maturity" which is living by the Word of God daily. In 6:4-6 we are told that it is impossible to be enlightened, partake of the Holy Spirit and taste the good Word of God and not want to repent of our "immaturity". It is then that we truly understand how we crucify the Son of God and put Him to open shame when we refuse to repent and move on to "solid food".
SO...more motherly advice...whatever it takes, feed her SOLID FOOD...show her the difference EVERYDAY. No matter how busy your days get - don't give in to it. God has put you in her life to help her reach the potential that He knows she is capable of. BUT...it won't happen unless you are stubborn and keep the busyness of life from stealing time away from family worship and time together with Him!
ROCK ON -- FATHER ROB!! |
Magpie
Registered user
Username: Magpie
Post Number: 13
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, December 02, 2004 - 6:50 pm: | |
congrats Rob. I just checked out that website!!
Stay as far away from that as you possibly can. No way Jose'. He is reinterpreting the Bible.
You don't need that! Hope all the best for you and your wife and your new baby next year!!
Peace,
Magpie |
Lydell
Registered user
Username: Lydell
Post Number: 654
Registered: 7-2000
| | Posted on Thursday, December 02, 2004 - 7:47 pm: | |
Blessings Rob! I pray the two of you will have a joyfilled life together, with Jesus as the center of your home. And blessings on the little one as well. |
Hoytster
Registered user
Username: Hoytster
Post Number: 115
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Friday, December 03, 2004 - 5:16 am: | |
When baby is six months old, you lovely new wife is going to be beset by deep-grained impulses to enroll your child in the cradle roll at the Adventist church. Think of Adventism as similar to herpes, a virus you cannot cure or get rid of, which breaks out painfully at intervals (so I'm told ). You need to gird your loins for that battle. She may not be able to help it, given her life-long acculturation. You have to be absolutely firm.
Look around for a church that has Sunday School for little ones, as a substitute for cradle roll. VERY little ones. The SDAs will literally have a toddler who has just learned to walk, toddling around the room following the mission plane. Having the habit of another church in place, is your best defense against her latent SDA-ness reasserting itself because of the baby.
Fortunately, there is a cure: Jesus! It's not clear that she's there yet, however. Get her to this forum!
Babies are blessings from God, Rob! Congrats! Remember to make more babies! More blessings! If you have your second baby asap, then the two of them will be great companions for each other, which is great for them, and easier for mom and dad. ;)
- Hoytster |
Ric_b
Registered user
Username: Ric_b
Post Number: 93
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, December 03, 2004 - 5:48 am: | |
I pray for many blessing for you and your bride.
Hoytster is "dead on" in the description. Children do make a difference. Unless someone is fully committed to their new ideas, the pull of making sure you are doing the right thing for your kid is strong. Much of the hold of SDAism is based on fear, the fear that being in any other church might place you outside of God's love and protection. Many of us could easily live with that fear for ourselves much better than we could live with it for our children. Becoming firmly grounded together in your faith soon is critical with a child on the way. |
Madelia
Registered user
Username: Madelia
Post Number: 104
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Friday, December 03, 2004 - 7:21 am: | |
I also want to congratulate you and your wife.
But Hoyster really hit the nail on the head. I hate to be a wet blanket, that is my concern for you, that your wife will want to take the baby to cradle roll and start the indoctrination.
I am praying for you |
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker
Post Number: 1028
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Friday, December 03, 2004 - 9:07 am: | |
Hrob, another "amen" to Hoytster's caution above. Babies bring all one's spiritual biases to the fore. The two of you really do need to become involved in a healthy church ASAP, and you both need to be studying the Bible.
I'm also praying for you.
Colleen |
Vchowdhury1
Registered user
Username: Vchowdhury1
Post Number: 91
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, December 03, 2004 - 9:36 am: | |
Hrob, my son is 11 years old and has been raised in the sda church since he was born. He even attended sda school from K-5th grades. So therefore, I have to stand very very firm in my new found beliefs regarding the new covenant. When your child is still a toddler, talk to him about the love of Jesus and how Jesus wants to save him without all of these sda rules and regulations (and false prophets). Starting this coming Sunday, my son is going to start attending Sunday school for the first time at the Presbyterian church that we have now been attending for the past few Sundays. And Hrob, be on your guard, especially when you still have relatives that the baby will be associated with that still attend the sda church. They are going to say things to your child (when they are alone with him)that will be contrary to you and your wife's new beliefs. And whats worst, when your child grows up and is around them on Friday nights, and Saturdays, the poor child won't be able to do anything because he will be told that its "the Sabbath", so therefore he can't do this, or he can't do that, and bla, bla, bla. Thats one of the problems that I am still up against today. I will be praying for you and your new family. God Bless. |
Hrobinsonw
Registered user
Username: Hrobinsonw
Post Number: 105
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, December 03, 2004 - 1:07 pm: | |
I am trying to move to get away for her family. They are making her life miserable right now. She doesn't need that. I will take almost any job to get me out of Huntsville. I was going to get a house here. But when my lease is up, I think that I might move back home and look for a job from there. I don't normally function like that but I have the shelter my child from these people. We had our first full Dr. Appointment today. Nothing really happened except she got checked with the stethescope, and she gave us a prescription for pre-natal vitamins. I could have stayed in the car for that. I was just kidding. But thanks for your support guys. |
Belvalew
Registered user
Username: Belvalew
Post Number: 68
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, December 03, 2004 - 5:21 pm: | |
Just another confirmation of what others have already said. Your wife's relatives may try to slip around behind your back and reach you through your child or children. They are thinking that if they can't save the parents they can at least save the children. You must be aware that this WILL, not might, WILL happen. There are so many good books available through Life Assurance Ministries, and I recommend that you and your wife read as many as you can together so that she can have to opportunity of experiencing release for the errors built into her former way of life. Adventism is so all-encompassing that you will have to be alert for the signs that your wife is beginning to self-doubt. I pray that you will find a safe harbor church, and that you connect well with a spiritual advisor within that church. Of course, getting her involved with discussions on this website will also be an assist. Be prepared for this process to take a couple of years, so the pull to take her new child to learn of Jesus from the SDA's will be strong at some point or another. Sink your roots deep into Christ and hold on for dear life! |
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 796
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Friday, December 03, 2004 - 7:38 pm: | |
I have to agree with what everyone else has said about latent SDA beliefs once a child is born. She will want to take the little one to cradle roll. So MOVE AWAY FROM HER FAMILY ASAP. Get her and the baby away from them as her family will tell the baby things you would not want them to. Get your wife involved in FAF. Of course, she should want to do it because she wants to know Jesus and the truth about Adventism. Get involved with a church that has a class for babies. I agree with all that. God will care for you and will help you because He is an awesome God.
Diana |
Hoytster
Registered user
Username: Hoytster
Post Number: 116
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Friday, December 03, 2004 - 10:48 pm: | |
Regarding the sneaky influence of SDA family:
My 11-year-old son has been a vegetarian from age 5 because his fanatical Adventist-convert vegan grandma convinced him that meat was evil. It isn't the end of the world, because he consumes milk and cheese, which makes it possible for him to function in the world and get vitamin B-12. I hate that he has even a glimmer of the idea that meat-eating is a salvation issue.
MOVE AWAY. DON'T ENCOURAGE VISITS. MONITOR CLOSELY DURING VISITS.
That kind of message may only require a single enunciation, to take hold of your child for years or forever.
Prepare your child when relatives are coming.
"Hoytster (hey, great choice for a name, HRob!), your Aunt Phoebe is going to be visiting us. She is cracked in the head and says a lot of dumb things about God. Jesus wants us to be patient with her, so just nod and smile, if she starts saying wacky things to you, then run and tell me everything she said!"
That may be over doing it. Probably not.
Here's a question:
How many salvation issues ARE there for an Adventist?
My impression is hundreds, most of them because Ellen White didn't get paid unless she kept cranking out those testimonials. How sad.
I have only one salvation issue, and his name is Jesus.
- Hoytster |
Tdf
Registered user
Username: Tdf
Post Number: 12
Registered: 11-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 07, 2004 - 8:25 am: | |
I am definitely not disagreeing with anything that anyone has posted in this thread. Rob, you need to be able to positively influence your child as you raise it to love and honor the God of grace. From my own experience, I know well the damage that can be caused by well-intentioned grandparents--it IS real.
Sadly, I also know the damage that can be caused if you try to come between your wife and her parents. In such a young marriage, the last thing that you want to do is to alienate your wife. One of your top priorities right now should be to honor her, to love her unconditionally and to let her know that you truly have her back.
Certainly, you need to look for positive ways to protect your child from error. However, I would encourage you to be careful not to take this concept to an extreme. Remember that your wife's parents are her "mommy" and her "daddy" and you don't want her to perceive that she has to choose between you and them. This will only destroy the relationship you are in the early stages of building.
Absolutely I agree that it is very important for you to find many positive outlets in which your baby can learn about Jesus' love and His grace without all of the confusing works-based teachings that accompany the SDA church. I definitely think that it is great advice to seek out a good Sunday School in which your child can build a healthy understanding of God.
However, try to make certain that all of your efforts are headed in a positive direction. If the focus of your marriage becomes an effort to protect your child (or your wife) from your in-laws, you may be headed for some big trouble. Take it from one who has been down that road and is, right now, paying a price.
TDF |
Lydell
Registered user
Username: Lydell
Post Number: 658
Registered: 7-2000
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 07, 2004 - 4:54 pm: | |
Yes Rob, DO find a solid church for your family...but don't settle for just attending! Hang around and develop relationship (hint, most churches have a handful of folks who enjoy having dinner after the service together, either in their homes or in a restaurant).
Engage in conversation with the others attending Sunday School before the service(meaning, you have to get there a bit early ya know....a class is far more important for you and your wife right now than for your child, by the way).
Go to the social stuff at church. Your wife has had relationship in the church she grew up in....it was a warped one, filled with plenty of rules and regulations. Now you both need to get real well acquainted with what real Christian fellowship is like. Once she develops the friendships, it should be an automatic innoculation against the drivel about how "sunday keepers" aren't Christian and are dangerous. |
|
