| Author | Message | ||
| Randyg Registered user Username: Randyg Post Number: 1 Registered: 12-2004 |
As I anticipate my upcoming "membership removal letter" to my local Pastor and church board,I am in a quandray. Should it be brief and to the point,or should I itemize my list of irreconcilable differences. These people are my friends and family and I will continued to be interacting with many of them over the long haul.I have come to value the opinions of many of you over the last many months, and am seeking your input on this delicate matter. Living in challenging times,Randy. | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 1334 Registered: 11-2002 |
Randy, welcome. I don't believe we've met before now. I'll let others advise about the letter. When I wrote mine the first time it was 35 years ago, very blunt and to the point. Basicially I said, "take my name off your list". Then I heard they hadn't followed through with my request so over the years I have sent more of those types of letters. Basicialy saying, "if you got my name on any SDA list then take it off". So, I'm not one to advise. Good luck with choosing the right words for your needs. | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 918 Registered: 3-2004 |
Randy, I, too, wish I could help you, but my name got taken off the church books without my knowing it. That happened when I stopped going to church on a regular basis. So I will pray for you, that you will find the right words to put in your letter. God bless and welcome to FAF. Diana | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 1222 Registered: 12-2003 |
Randy, welcome to the forum! So glad to see you here! I don't mean this to sound trite--I mean it sincerely; ask God to guide you as you write it. Some of us have written very brief letters; others have written explicit letters. Sometimes it depends upon who will read the letter and how much you want to say to them. I don't know about your church, but in many, only the board or membership committee sees the letters. Some see their letters as a chance to share the gospel and speak the truth. Others see the letter as almost anti-clamactic compared to other ways their SDA friends/family are able to hear their views. Whatever the case, many of us have found the act of writing for whatever venue to be extremely cathartic and affirming of God's leading. We're looking forward to hearing more of your story, and I'll pray that you'll know what to write. Colleen | ||
| Ric_b Registered user Username: Ric_b Post Number: 169 Registered: 7-2004 |
Randy, Welcome. My wife and I went through that difficult process not that long ago. Nothing replaces prayer and honesty. We felt the need to both affirm the warmth of the congregation and friendships there, AND make clear that we were not making a rash decision. Much of what we wrote down never made it into the final letter, but the process of writing it down was cathartic in itself. | ||
| Esther Registered user Username: Esther Post Number: 110 Registered: 5-2004 |
Randy, I've been in that same process for the last month. I've actually writing both letters  ...and am now flopping daily between which to send. My quandary is that I had a detailed letter to send, knowing that it would be our only chance to communicate why we're leaving to some people. However, the way our pastor has reacted lately (avoiding us tremendously so that he DOESN"T have to talk to us), I'm thinking maybe a shorter letter will somehow force his hand into actually addressing the issue with us. He's a huge EGW fan who annually takes pilgrimages to Battle Creek. The minute he had a report from our head elder about where we were, he has steered clear of us. Anyway, I understand the quandary completely, and have to say that it's best to just leave it in God's hands and wait for His timing. Something I've learned is that when God is leading, there's no mistaking it and you KNOW He's in control. | ||
| Chris Registered user Username: Chris Post Number: 545 Registered: 7-2003 |
Welcome RandyG! I pray that the Spirit will give you the very mind of Christ as you prepare your letter. My letter was a very brief one page letter that basically reaffirmed my relationship with Christ and my desire to follow where he was leading. I spoke of the freedom and peace I found in Him and listed a few key texts that had been important to me on my journey. I tried to keep it very very Christ focused so it was clear I was leaving for my love of Jesus and no other reason such as "being hurt" or any of the other cliches. Some, like Clay Peck, have written letters that our full scale studies of the Covenants. Both approaches can be effective depending on the writer and the audience. May the Lord lead and guide you! Chris | ||
| Chris Registered user Username: Chris Post Number: 546 Registered: 7-2003 |
Esther, I had to laugh about your reference to pilgrimages to Battle Creek. We did that. I can remember feeling as if I was on Holy ground as I stood in EGW's old house and then later beside her grave. I had such reverence for Sister White it bordered on worship. Chris | ||
| Randyg Registered user Username: Randyg Post Number: 3 Registered: 12-2004 |
I would like to thank-you all for your encouraging words.Like many of you I have tried to document my journey(Samsung laser printer + nearly full file cabinet) however I seem to have barely scratched to surface. As I explained my situation to a wonderful Baptist Minister I have come to know, he suggested that I have been presented with an "exciting challenge".If he only knew. The thought of writing a long detailed letter is becoming less attractive.Ever since I dozed thought Bev Beem's 8:00am Freshman Comp class in 1978 I have come to realized writing was not one of my gifts.I think my letter will be brief with interested parties allowed access to my file cabinet if couriosity and/or the Holy Spirit moves them. My gut feeling is that most will shy away in fear of what they would find. Seeking solace whilst maintaining sanity. Randy | ||
| Tdf Registered user Username: Tdf Post Number: 33 Registered: 11-2004 |
Randyg-- My wife and I are right now in the process of writing our letter. Our current draft is five pages. Because our journey began with an understanding of salvation by faith, the majority of our letter deals with our belief that the SDA church teaches salvation by works. We are considering including a few quotes from EGW to document this and including scriptures that teach salvation by faith. Because we believe that salvation is a foundational issue, we decided not to go farther to discuss other doctrinal points with which we differ. I agree with what others have written. You know who you're audience is and that will impact greatly what God leads you to write. Take your time--sometimes God reveals His will slowly. We definitely haven't reached the point that we're ready to send the letter, but we know that God will make His perfect timing clear to us. | ||
| Pheeki Registered user Username: Pheeki Post Number: 451 Registered: 1-2003 |
Chances are, that whatever you write will not be read to the board for fear of tweaking someone else's conscience or as the SDA would put it causeing someone else to be "discouraged". The church I left had an assistant pastor who only stayed a pastor a few weeks after graduation and then the head pastor made some excuses about how he had decided being a pastor wasn't for them (he and his wife)...turns out they quit SDAism all together and he and his wife's request to be dropped from all SDA membership was read at the same meeting as mine. Of course they didn't read his rather long letter. (I know all this because I had a friend on the board at the time.) I wrote: Please remove my name from SDA membership as I have decided to become a member in the Body of Christ. Thanks. Short and to the point! Oh, BTW: Babylon is the SDA term for Body of Christ. | ||
| Randyg Registered user Username: Randyg Post Number: 4 Registered: 12-2004 |
Tdf, Thank-you for your shared experience.My situation like all others presents its own unique set of perameters.I believe on an intellectual level my wife and I are in the same book on this, however not on the same page or even chapter. Emotionally her ties are stronger due to children's ministries in our local church and employment considerations and complications. May there be peace at last on that heavenly shore, Randy | ||
| Helovesme2 Registered user Username: Helovesme2 Post Number: 94 Registered: 8-2004 |
Hi RandyG, I would thoroughly agree with the advice others have given to let God lead you. I wrote a long letter - it helped me to see the differences that were clearly there. But when I finally submitted a letter it ended up being a very short, to the point letter saying basically. "After prayer and consideration, due to the fact that the [ ] church and I disagree doctrinally and practically, I request my name be removed from your membership rolls. I no longer consider myself a member of your church" God knows what is best for you with your letter and He is more than willing to help you with it! helovesme2 | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 1230 Registered: 12-2003 |
Esther, are you referring to your senior pastor in your post above? I find his avoidance so interesting--if he were really a thoroughly deceived devotee of EGW, I suspect he would blunder right into a conversation with you. His avoidance suggests to me that he knows there's no intellectually and biblically sound way to discuss this issue with you. His devotion is clearly based on something other than facts and Biblical evidence. With prayers for all of you in the throes of writing your letters, Colleen | ||
| Randyg Registered user Username: Randyg Post Number: 5 Registered: 12-2004 |
Thank-you Pheeki,I have thought about your point regarding a long letter not being given due justice or consideration at the board level.This is a possibility. However I would have the more detailed letter photocopied to share with anyone interested(friends and family) if the situation became clouded or less than transparent. I have to remember to let the Holy Spirit convict their hearts,I can only plant to seed. And with God's help present and example of a Christ filled life. Coming up for air,Randy | ||
| Bob Registered user Username: Bob Post Number: 27 Registered: 7-2000 |
Randyg, I wrote a very brief resigntion letter to the large SDA church of which I had been a member for many years. In retrospect, I am glad that I didn't waste a lot of words, because no one from the church responded to my letter for two full years, and then I received what was essentially a form letter, signed by some pastor I did not know! In that two years, not one person phoned or visited me to ask about my spiritual condition, or to invite me back. So much for how the "true church" treats its wandering sheep. When one voluntarily CHOOSES to leave the SDA fold, the members and pastors are so frightened by the spiritual implications for themselves that avoidance is usually the standard reaction. | ||
| Jeremy Registered user Username: Jeremy Post Number: 247 Registered: 10-2004 |
Wow Pheeki, did they really read that letter to all the board members? I'm surprised! Randy, if you would like some ideas in writing a letter, you could check out Robert Sanders' Sample Form Letter. Jeremy | ||
| Esther Registered user Username: Esther Post Number: 111 Registered: 5-2004 |
Colleen, Yes, our senior pastor has been basically refusing to acknowledge to us that he know he needs to talk to us. Try to follow that Actually, I try very hard not to read too much of it, except we keep hearing from others that he will mention us and that we're "in trouble". So he obviously knows... and yet even when we've been directly in front of him, he won't even acknowledge us. Anyway, I'm two weeks past my goal of having our letter turned in, so maybe soon I'll actually get it there, and then we'll see what happens | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 1236 Registered: 12-2003 |
Well, Esther--how interesting. I believe his avoidance means he knows your basic reasoning, and he knows he will not be able to counter it. He is not a stupid man, and I suspect he has read at least some of the books re: the new covenant and EGW all of us have read. He would have a lot to lose if he acknowledged any of this "stuff"--He has quite a lot of prestige and clout within the system. I just realized that he's one I need to pray for specifically during our "Adventist prayer" times. Colleen | ||
| Lydell Registered user Username: Lydell Post Number: 665 Registered: 7-2000 |
Randy, have you considered writing a short letter to the church. But then sending a longer letter to those who are closer to you? | ||
| Ric_b Registered user Username: Ric_b Post Number: 171 Registered: 7-2004 |
Funny, Just the opposite of what we did. We sent a detailed letter the the church and a brief note to our friends. I guess that shows the many different ways to accomplish the same goal. | ||
| Dennis Registered user Username: Dennis Post Number: 283 Registered: 4-2000 |
Rather than merely asking them to take your name off their rolls, simply state that you are no longer a Seventh-day Adventist already due to purely theological considerations. Suggested concluding lines of a resignation letter could be as follows: "Having anchored my life in the New Covenant teachings of Jesus Christ, I no longer consider myself to be a Seventh-day Adventist. Therefore, for solely theological considerations, I hereby request that my name be immediately removed from your membership records. Futhermore, I request that my name be removed from all your mailing lists. Thank you for your prompt confirmaton, by mail, that my request was fully honored." It is best not to ask them, but rather to tell them what you want done. They have a legal obligation to honor your request. Also, you could state (if you so desire) that phone calls and/or pastoral visits are not wanted--your decision is final. Dennis J. Fischer |
