| Author | Message | ||
| Marcell Registered user Username: Marcell Post Number: 2 Registered: 4-2004 |
How do you deal with no longer being 'part' of the community of SDA? We have a small group at our current church (non-SDa) and it's great. However, maybe some of you 'get' what I mean when the church is the center of your whole life growing up, everyone you knew was SDA, SDA schools, etc. Then you leave 'the truth' and are looked upon with suspicion or 'pity'. There are a couple of family members who are open to us, they seem to accept that we really have a good relationship with Jesus, and in fact ask the prayer warriors from OUR church to pray for them. I consider them to be part of the same 'body of Christ', even though many, many SDA's no longer consider US to still be part of the body. It is something I miss, however I don't really feel all that comfortable at SDA gatherings anymore, I feel the spirit of oppression all around me and just feel so sad for them. How do you handle this conflict? Any ideas or experiences you can share? Marcell | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 1650 Registered: 11-2002 |
Marcell, It sounds to me like what you are experiencing are going through the stages of greif. I don't recall the order or the exact stages but maybe someone else on here can list them in order. It seems also that those sorts of things just take time. The more you associate with your new Christian friends and the less you associate with the SDA's I think you will find the transistion taking place. I do kind-of understand what you mean. At gatherings where there are a lot of SDA's I feel like I'm the cat looking into the fishtank. It doesn't help any when the relatives are talking about this and that all involving something connected to Adventism. I don't comment, nor do they ask for my imput. | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 1163 Registered: 3-2004  |
Marcell, There is a grieving process you will go through. My suggestion is do not go to an SDA church at this time. Get involved in studying the Bible and praying and find a Chrisian church that God directs you to attend. Pray, a lot and then some more. God will lead you where he wants you. He did not bring you this far to drop you. He has you in His awesome hands. Diana | ||
| Dd Registered user Username: Dd Post Number: 373 Registered: 7-2004 |
Marcell, I am beginning to understand "leaving Adventism" is not something that is ever going to happen 100%. It is part of who I am whether I like it or not. I know that God has led me this far in my journey away from the bondage of my first 43 years of life and so I trust that He will supply all I need in replacing the different voids and healing the pain of leaving Adventism , as I live the next 43 years. Being a part of FAF has been a huge part of the healing that God has provided for me thus far.  | ||
| Bob Registered user Username: Bob Post Number: 116 Registered: 7-2000  |
In addition to the support I gained from FAF, I also found it important to stop going to SDA church services, even occasionally. The only time I go now, out of respect, is for a wedding, a funeral, or a graduation. Voluntarily continuing to expose oneself to the teaching and preaching of error only serves to confuse and frustrate! | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 1551 Registered: 12-2003  |
I agree with Susan, Diana, Dd, and Bob, Marcell. You are experiencing grief, and time is the only antidote. But, as Dd said, in some ways you will never "get over" it. I'll tell you the thing that was the most powerful event that stopped the emotional longing and anxiety I felt re: my Adventist friends and family. We had decided we were going to leave, but one day, through a conversation I won't go into here, I realized that if Adventism was founded on a lie, then Satan had a claim on Adventism. Lies only come from one place, and it's not God. They are not spiritually neutral. Richard and I discussed this idea for about a month, and we finally decided that we had to renounce the spirit of Adventism--much as we would have to renounce the spirit of Mormonism if we were leaving that church. Consequently, one night we and our boys knelt together, and Richard prayed that God would take the spirit of Adventism from our hearts and place the Holy Spirit where it had been instead. Richard said that was the moment he experienced being born again. For me, I "felt" nothing, but from that moment on, all my emotional ties to the church were completely gone. God gave me Himself in the place Adventism had held in my heart. He is so faithful! Colleen | ||
| Esther Registered user Username: Esther Post Number: 161 Registered: 5-2004  |
As expressed above, I don't think the cultural side of Adventism is something that ever fully disappears. We will all still have family that are bound, and friends who don't understand. And after being raised in such a "complete" system, how can you help but feel lost when leaving that "other world". However, Colleen tells us many times...and each time is a blessing...that God always redeems what we submit to Him. He will always make up for what we give up in coming to Him. I have found on this journey, that God is so much more than I ever could have imagined or known in Adventism. He is so great, and with Him, any hardship or sacrifice becomes a blessing! He truly is ALL we need! | ||
| Marcell Registered user Username: Marcell Post Number: 3 Registered: 4-2004 |
Thanks for all the encouragement. I haven't attended an Adventist church for over 5 years. I have found a great expression of the body of Christ in my present church, check it out here if you want - www.whchurch.org. I think much of the grief comes from the fact that my parents and grandmothers were SDA and passed away long, long before I could see the light and minister to them. I have one sister still an SDA, although she is a beautiful Christian, and very dissapointed in her church and EGW, etc., can't yet concieve of going to another church because they go on the "wrong" day. The other sister is no longer a believer at all - she was very wounded after working and teaching at an SDA college for several years and is very angry at God. I experience the joy and freedom that other true believers have, and wish I could help them towards that - and of course I pray for them and wait on God. The blessing is that my daughter and grandkids are NOT being raised SDA, my daughter is graduating from a Baptist college and planning to attend Bethel seminary to study for the ministry - wants to teach apologetics at the college level. Actually, she has been the most pro-active in confronting my SDA sister - she gets away with being pretty blunt about EGW in ways that I could not. That has been the biggest blessing, seeing that God has broken the generational 'curse' of adventism off of my family!! I still struggle with wishing I could please my SDA family members - and feeling that my parents would have been dissapointed. BUT, they loved Jesus, and I believe they know the truth NOW. ;-) | ||
| Madelia Registered user Username: Madelia Post Number: 132 Registered: 2-2003 |
Dear Marcell, Welcome to the forum! I am so excited, because reading your above post, I realized you must be in the same state and maybe even city that I am!! I've been praying to be able to connect with another "former" in person. I could send my email address to Colleen | ||
| Marcell Registered user Username: Marcell Post Number: 5 Registered: 4-2004 |
Madelia, I posted my email here, but don't see it so maybe that isn't allowed? I am in the St. Paul area and attend and work at Woodland Hills Church in Maplewood. So you can go to the website and find my email address if you like. I am not 'hiding' from anybody or anything now that I am free!! the church website is www.whchurch.org I would love to connect with other 'formers' in person and have been praying that God will lead me into some sort of ministry to/with former sda's or even current sda's who are searching. God bless, Marcell |
