| Author | Message | ||
| Raven Registered user Username: Raven Post Number: 217 Registered: 7-2004  |
We've finally settled on a church to regularly attend, although we're not addressing membership at this point. After signing up for a small group fellowship (5 couples), we just got the e-mail about our first fellowship, which will be a potluck. We're being asked what we plan to bring to go with the main thing--which is--barbecued pork sandwiches! So far, we haven't told any one at that church our background, and it will be awkward if we don't participate. Be honest now, can a lifetime vegetarian, who only recently has become accustomed to chicken and fish, stomach pork? To me, pigs belong in the same category as slugs--they're both dirty and gross! I could bring another entree dish, but that seems rude. All of us are specifically being asked to bring a salad, vegetable, or dessert to go along with the main dish the hostess is providing. | ||
| Dennisrainwater Registered user Username: Dennisrainwater Post Number: 112 Registered: 8-2000 |
Oh, Raven -- I feel your discomfort! I quit being a vegetarian not too long before leaving SDAism, but I still have some discomfort sometimes confronting meat straight. And Pork has certainly been on the last of list to be addressed! Having said that, we recently moved to North Carolina, and Barbecue here is a staple food! And, when Carolinians say "Barbecue", they ain't talking about some beef thrown on a grill in the back yard, Sugar -- they are speaking of it as a FOOD GROUP! And Barbecue IS pork -- usually served as a sandwich! And you know what? I've learned to LOVE IT! But, that's taken me some time to adjust to -- and it may very well take you quite some time yet, too! And that's okay... We spent many 'covered dishes' and potlucks early on in our experience with non-sda churches picking over the various potato and macaroni salads and breads, etc... In your shoes, I'd take something not overtly "entree-ish", but substantial enough that it could serve as our main course for the meal... Perhaps someone else will have better advice -- but that's what I'd have done... But, it IS the fellowship you are going for, right? ;-) I hope you have a WONDERFUL time -- regardless of how the food part goes! Feast on freedom and fellowship, Den <>< | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 1188 Registered: 3-2004  |
Raven, When I was a practicing vegetarian I could always find something to eat where ever I went and never said a word about it to anyone. Did not want to hurt the Host's feelings. You can do the same. Just talk to God about it before you go. You might take half a sandwich taste it and leave it. Just talk to God about it. It is only with in the last couple months that I have eaten pork and Friday I ate crab cakes. I was told these were good ones, but it was a protein and that was what I wanted. But, it is for the fellowship you are going for, right?? So, enjoy the company and as Den said, Feast on freedom and fellowship. Have a really good time, meet lots of people and enjoy the freedom you have. Let us know how it goes. Diana | ||
| Thomas1 Registered user Username: Thomas1 Post Number: 170 Registered: 4-2002  |
Raven, One thing I've learned about my brothers and sisters in Christ is that they aren't as "thin skinned" as the group I left. If it was me, (and it often has been), I would simply say that I came from a background that ate "kosher" and I still haven't moved a whole lot beyond that. You'll probably get a few curious questions but they will be in the right spirit. Trust me, you will feel a whole lot more "uneasy" about it than they will. Enjoy the fellowship! Thomas | ||
| Belvalew Registered user Username: Belvalew Post Number: 207 Registered: 7-2004 |
What I recommend is that you bring a nice casserole, enjoy the fellowship, and nobody will even notice if you don't take the pork. I've been around that bend several times. Belva | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 1679 Registered: 11-2002 |
Raven, if I was in your situtation I would just bring something good toshare. You do not have to eat the yucky piggy sandwitches. There will be plenty of other food available. I have noticed over at the Lutheran where I attend a lot of pork is served. I've never said anything to anyone, I just don't take it. You could bring a small Tupperware with shredded vegemeat in it and then once at the potluck just ask for the bun and fix yourself a vegeburger. I just don't think I could bring myself to eat Miss Piggy. | ||
| Raven Registered user Username: Raven Post Number: 218 Registered: 7-2004 |
Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. It would be easier if it were a big church potluck. The hard part is, we'll be one of five couples at someone's home and there's only one main dish. That makes it more difficult to be discreet about it. I'll let you know how it goes (it's a few weeks from now)--at this point, I agree with Susan, that I couldn't bring myself to eat Miss Piggy either! | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 1681 Registered: 11-2002 |
You could bring your vegemeat and if anyone asks just politely say, "I don't eat pork." That's enuf. One of my best frends over here is Catholic. She will not eat pork for anything. In fact she eats hardly any meat at all and will not eat pork. It just grosses her out. I've notcd in my 54 years that everyone has their quirks. It's what makes us each unique individuals. | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 1587 Registered: 12-2003  |
Raven, Richard has just been laughing out loud as he read this thread. He still can't bring himself to eat meat--you're a step ahead of him in being able to stomach chicken and fish. He said he's still hoping to be able to break through this barrier! (I am praying for him and Nathanael [18 yrs old] to be released from this bondage of antipathy to meat. Nathanael, especially, has a lifetime ahead of him, and the odds are not in his favor of marrying a girl who is vegetarian!) Here are a couple of comments: you could take a salad that has shredded chicken or boiled eggs in it--then you could have a protein source. When Richard attends events like the one you're describing, he takes the bread but not the meat and makes a veggie sandwich. People will be quite OK with it. I remember Carolyn Ratzlaff saying that the first time she had a meal with meat-eaters, she prayed that she would be able to eat it without gagging. She said they served chicken salad, which was easier to eat than a hunk of meat might have been, and she ate it and found it quite tasty. Welcome to Christian fellowship, Raven--you'll find that you'll have a wonderful time whether or not you can eat the meat! And I suspect that, like Dennis Rainwater, you'll learn to love barbecue , too! Colleen | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 1198 Registered: 3-2004 |
I am laughing as I think of eating Miss Piggy. If I think of pork as Miss Piggy, I could not eat it either. She is such a lovable character. Be that as it may, just pray about it and God will take care of you. He always does. He is so awesome with what ever He does for us. Diana | ||
| Melissa Registered user Username: Melissa Post Number: 794 Registered: 7-2003  |
As the non-SDA in the bunch, most of "us" would never think a thing about meat choices. It's not in our "training". I would suggest, if this is going to be an on-going issue each time there is a meal together, that you talk to each host individually as you are comfortable and the time comes. If you would like to bring your own, I can't imagine any host objecting. I know I would not intentionally want to offer something that someone would not eat (especially if it's an ongoing thing), and whether you learn to eat it in time is irrelevant for today. The group probably wouldn't have a problem serving chicken or something else you are comfortable with if they KNOW there is an issue. (Most would view it as any personal preference, not really understanding the importance in adventism.) I personally wouldn't feel comfortable addressing a whole group, but depending upon the relationship with the hosts, I may say something privately or eat a sandwich before I went and eat what I liked while there. We had a potluck with our small group a few months ago, and one of the ladies mentioned she was vegetarian when we were deciding the theme, and not a single person had an issue picking something that wouldn't require meat (we did build your own burritos). | ||
| Pw Registered user Username: Pw Post Number: 340 Registered: 6-2004 |
You'll be surprised that people really won't make a big deal of the fact if you say you don't eat meat. They usually will go out of their way to try and accomodate you with another entree. They are a lot more flexible than if you were to drink a cup of coffee or tea at an SDA function and get the evil eye. | ||
| Raven Registered user Username: Raven Post Number: 219 Registered: 7-2004 |
Since this will probably not be a one time thing, I'm sure it will have to come up sooner or later--I just hate being the difficult one. When we had our first get acquainted meeting, they asked if anyone was allergic to anything and we're not, so I said nothing. I figured it couldn't be too difficult, because chicken is a common meat and I can handle that. When we got the e-mail that barbecued pork sandwiches will be served, I just burst out laughing! There's nothing like facing up to the worst case scenario first thing. A salad with hard-boiled eggs sounds great to me, especially since our older daughter won't even do chicken. (Message edited by Raven on March 14, 2005) | ||
| Chris Registered user Username: Chris Post Number: 715 Registered: 7-2003  |
Raven, for what it's worth, I was a rabid anti-meat guy. It would nauseate me. Both the sight and smell of meat would make we want to vomit (quite literally). In particular the thought of pork would send me over the edge and I imagined that it must taste just like a pig-lot smells. I would rail against eating any form of meat. I would become angry if I found out my wife had eaten some meat (Yes, I'm embarrased about this controlling behaviour). For whatever reason, this has completely changed for me. I don't really feel like I've had a real meal if there isn't some meat involved. And believe it or not, there are few things I enjoy more than some good BBQ baby back ribs....mmmm...mmmmm....mmmmm! I just bought a new grill yesterday and I'm ready to BBQ baby! You may be suprised to find out that some of the dietary hang ups fade or vanish over time. Then again, you may always choose to obstain from some foods. Either way, it's a personal choice (not a holiness issue) and your Christian brother's and sister are not likely to be bothered by such a personal choice that is based purely on taste. Chris | ||
| Tracey Registered user Username: Tracey Post Number: 255 Registered: 9-2004 |
I will put this plainly... Food isn't everyone's issue like in SDA. People won't even notice what's on your plate. Most people looove to eat and are only concerned with what's on theirs. To be frank, no one will be paying attention to you in that way, my dear Sheryl. For most people, food is so normal and fun to have, we really are interested in getting ours into our own mouth! lol! | ||
| Tracey Registered user Username: Tracey Post Number: 256 Registered: 9-2004 |
I really hate what this religion has done. Magnified the most insignificant part of daily life. | ||
| Pw Registered user Username: Pw Post Number: 343 Registered: 6-2004 |
You can always say you're on a diet. That seems to be a good excuse if you don't want to expose your eating habits to anyone as of yet. | ||
| Madelia Registered user Username: Madelia Post Number: 137 Registered: 2-2003 |
With all of the different diets people are on these days, I don't think anyone would think too much of it if you didn't eat the barbequed pork. | ||
| Melissa Registered user Username: Melissa Post Number: 796 Registered: 7-2003 |
It seems deceptive to say you're on a diet if you're not...be honest if you say anything at all. Tracey is right...most non-SDAs will not pay a bit of attention to what you're eating or not eating, as the case may be. I certainly never consider anyone else's plate when filling my own (other than to make sure there is enough for everyone!)  | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 1593 Registered: 12-2003 |
I agree with Melissa and Tracey. Be honest, and don't worry! No one will be concerned! Chris--early in our marriage Richard would get upset with me if I ate meat, too. That reaction is long gone! You're also right that many of these food issues gradually disappear with time. I've mentioned before that not too many months ago, Richard "discovered" black pepper. He used to be upset if he found some in scrambled eggs or other food--and for reasons I don't think he could completely explain. Somehow he connected the idea that if he likes jalapenos and other hot peppers, black pepper can't be worse for him than those. Now it's pass the pepper to Richard! Similarly, he had a head understanding--and even argued in favor of--the positive benefits of coffee for a long time. He drank Mt. Dew, and he brews a wonderful pot of coffee. But he really didn't like to drink it. I began popping into his office once a week or so with a latte--which he liked, and now he's discovered the pleasure of taking a travel mug of coffee from home in the AM. All of this is not so much a KNOWING that has changed; it's a slow change in the pre-conscious emotional taboo that had been built in from a rigid upbringing. Raven--pork may even become acceptable over time. (I've found I actually like ham!) Colleen |
