| Author |
Message |
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker
Post Number: 245
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Friday, May 21, 2004 - 1:50 pm: |     |
Jonalaska, I will pray for you and your wife; you have taken a beating. Praise God that he has brought you to a place where you can be free in Him and grow in wisdom and truth.
God will not waste this experience, and he will redeem it. He is faithful!
Colleen |
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 64
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Friday, May 21, 2004 - 5:13 pm: | |
Jonalaska,
It has only been since January of this year that I decided not to rejoin the SDA church. It sounds like you and your wife had been to hell and back with this experience. As Colleen so aptly said, God will not waste this experience and he will redeen it. He is very faithful.
God bless you as you began your walk with Christ.
Diana |
Jonalaska
Registered user
Username: Jonalaska
Post Number: 3
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Friday, May 21, 2004 - 8:12 pm: | |
Wow! Five responses in one day!
Thank you TerryK, BusyMom, Susan_2, ColleenTinker, and Flyinglady, for your supportive responses.
May our Lord and Savior bless you. If you ever want to visit Alaska, just let me and Angie know.
Jon |
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 69
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, May 22, 2004 - 5:07 pm: | |
Jonalaska,
I cannot identify with you in how the SDAs treated you. My name was taken off the church books after I got divorced and quit going to church. I was not even given the courtesy of them warning me or telling me. I found out when I say a friend from church at a store and they told me about my name being removed. So the SDA church was not bothered about taking my name off.
I had thought I would rejoin the SDA church this past Nov/Dec,and was told by 2 of the pastors they would come and visit me, presumably to prepare me to rejoin, but they never came or called. I guess I was not important to them. That is okay with me, because I am important to God. It was about that time that God showed me a website about EGW and the plagiarism. I had not really practiced Adventism for a long time, so leaving has not been hard for me. I have forgotten a lot of the doctrine, except the Sabbath. But even that was not hard to give up. I just quite going to church on Saturday and started going on Sunday. At first it felt kind of strange, but it does not now.
I am thankful no big fuss was made by the SDAs. But I wonder how much a potential member meant to them. They also knew I was an ex SDA and why. Oh, well, I am thankful no one got nasty with me.
I used to wonder why God let me go through some horrendous experiences. I know now why. It is so I can empathise with others. That I do not mind. God is good and may he continue to bless you and your wife as you continue your walk with him.
Diana |
Pheeki
Registered user
Username: Pheeki
Post Number: 313
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Monday, May 24, 2004 - 12:39 pm: | |
My husband and I were called disgusting this last Sabbath by the head elder/school board chairman because we chose not to attend the 10-minute marching in and prayer over the graduating 8th graders...of which my daughter is one.
First of all...I have 5 kids to get ready...I do not attend that church anymore and I don't want to have to run the gauntlet of the pastor's wife who is nice (wanting to hug me) to my face but stabs me and others in the back. If it had been a whole service dedicated to the graduates, yes, I might have went. But to march in, get prayed over and then turn the sabbath over to the Pathfinders...God spare me! Pathfinder Sabbath is one of the worst to be endured.
So in the lobby, my friend is talking to some people and she says..."I think it is sad that the grads only got 10 minutes and the pastor didn't even show up to pray over them." To which the head elder and wife say..."One set of parents didn't show up to see their daughter march in...Disgusting." Fortunately, a very nice man was standing there and he had already talked to my daughter and she had told him that my husband was in an all day review for his anesthesia boards and couldn't come. So he, bless his heart, says, "They had extinuating circumstances and couldn't make it." Of course he probably thought he was protecting us from more scorn for breaking the Sabbath by not identifying where my husband was...but nevertheless...bless him.
I always wondered how they thought of us...now I know...we are disgusting. |
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker
Post Number: 252
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Monday, May 24, 2004 - 12:49 pm: | |
So were Jesus and Paul--you're in good company, Pheeki!
When we are Christ-followers, the personal barbs we receive for the sake of conviction are really the arrows we take for Christ. We are His body here, for now. Thinking of my taking the arrows for Christ usually helps me handle the barbs with a bit more equanimity.
I'm sorry for what happened, Pheeki--but it does sound as if your husband is on a trajectory away from Adventism. God's not done with your family yet!
Colleen |
Susan_2
Registered user
Username: Susan_2
Post Number: 569
Registered: 11-2002
| | Posted on Monday, May 24, 2004 - 5:34 pm: | |
Pheeki, all I can say to that is that the lady has extremely poor manners and is downright rude. I will be going to my granddaughters end of year school program and kindergarten graduation at the SDA school she attends on Thurdsday. I haven't been to a SDA graduation since my cousin graduated from Newbury Park Academy in around 1966, or so. It was a boarding school then but it is no longer there. I think the property is still being used by the SDA though in Thousand Oaks. I think this is where the SDA Media Center is located. And, The Voice of Prophecy, I'm not sure. Pheeki, when I was a kid growing up SDA at the start of every Sabbath School service the people were to tell of the good works they had done during the previous week. Like a brag fest. They would try to find out who gave away the most pieces of SDA literature, who held the most Bible studies, etc. Me and my family never got sucked into this. Finilly one week when I was around 17 a lady who was a super-SDA took me aside and told me she'd noticed my family never partisipated in this part of the service and she was personally challenging me to do something for Jesus during the next week. So with my own money I went and bought a can of Folgers and took it to the rescue mission the next week because I had been admonished by this bitty to do something for Jesus. So, the next Sabbath at the start of Sabbath school they did the brag fest thing again and the lady publically, in front of the congreation asked me if I'd done something special for Jesus during the previous week. I told the congreation that I'd done a good deed to help the less fortunate. The lady asked me to pubically state what my good deed had been. I said I'd bought a can of coffee and took it to the rescue mission. No one said anything either for against me and that ended my public statement and Sabbath school continued. But, after the service was over this woman sought me out and told me I'd embarrassed her because people knew that she had been the one to give me that challenge. Then she huffed and puffed and said, "Well, I guess coffee is better than what those bums are used to drinking". I remember thinking "What a stupid b**ch" and then deciding once more that when I finilly grew up and didn't have to do what my parents told me to do I wouldn't go to their religion anymore. |
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 75
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Monday, May 24, 2004 - 8:56 pm: | |
I have never had any SDA say to my face what they thought of me and my actions.
When I was attending the Manassas SDA church in VA I made friends with a lovely couple. I would also ask people at the church to pray for me with my chronic fatigue, my work, and for my son who was overseas with the Air Force. This was part of the church service when one offered their praise and prayer requests. One of the women, who was nice to my face, told my friends, to tell me to quit complaining. And all I was asking for was for prayers.
I wish now I had her e-mail address, because i would write to her nicely and ask her about it, maybe. It probably would not do anything except make her more hostile.
She knew I had been SDA and had told me she considered me a member of the church.
Oh, well, It does no good to let it bother me.
I pray for her and all SDAs.
Diana |
Hoytster
Registered user
Username: Hoytster
Post Number: 94
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 09, 2004 - 8:05 am: | |
Here is a pretty entertaining collection of denominational light bulb jokes:
http://www.wilk4.com/humor/humorc8.htm
One of the two Methodist entrries:
How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved --you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
HOWEVER, THERE IS NO SDA LIGHT BULB JOKE!
You are hereby challenged to come with the SDA version.
How many SDAs does it take to change a light bulb?
EGW said 3, one to change the bulb, another to judge the first person as a sinner, and a third to make sure that it isn't changed on the Sabbath... but she plagiarized that joke.
Feeble. Your turn!
- Hoytster |
Susan_2
Registered user
Username: Susan_2
Post Number: 591
Registered: 11-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 09, 2004 - 8:53 am: | |
There was a rabbi, a Catholic preist and a Baptist minister. They were visiting one day and decided they each needed a new car. So the three of them went together to the auto dealership and they each bought a new car. Then later in the day the Baptist minister and the preist ran into each ther and they decided they should concencrate their new cars to God, to be used to His glory and His purpose. The Catholc preist got out his garden hose and sprayed the car while saying the Baptism words. The Baptist ,inister drove his car out to the end of the pier and hd a crane dunk it immerssion while saying the words Baptists say. Then the preist and the Baptist go tell the rabbi he needs to concencrate his car to God, too. The rabbi goes into his garage and comes out with a hacksaw and immediatelly saws off three inches of the tailpipe. |
Dennisrainwater
Registered user
Username: Dennisrainwater
Post Number: 94
Registered: 8-2000
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 09, 2004 - 3:22 pm: | |
Here's one from back in Dec of 2002... How's this??
Adventists: Just for such emergencies, we have had a "Lesser Light bulb" installed just in front of the "Greater Light bulb". Over the years, we have grown so accustomed to the light from the "Lesser Light bulb" that we might not really miss the light from the "Greater Light bulb", should it ever burn out. Therefore, replacement has fundamentally already been accomplished... |
Jerry
Registered user
Username: Jerry
Post Number: 422
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 09, 2004 - 5:38 pm: | |
How many Adventists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. If the light bulb would just stop sinning (burning out), it would be able to change itself and could decide to do so.
. . . wait . . . then it would be an Adventist, so: One.
|
Jerry
Registered user
Username: Jerry
Post Number: 423
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 09, 2004 - 6:46 pm: | |
How many Adventists does it take to change a light bulb?
2 Timothy 1:18, Acts 20:8, Job 17:12, Revelations 11:13
(Message edited by Jerry on June 09, 2004) |
Susan_2
Registered user
Username: Susan_2
Post Number: 595
Registered: 11-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, June 10, 2004 - 9:16 am: | |
I found this on another website under its humor section. "Quit complaining about your church; if it was perfect you couldn't be there". |
Tealeaves
Registered user
Username: Tealeaves
Post Number: 37
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Friday, June 11, 2004 - 8:48 am: | |
Pheeki, Susan, and FlyingLady,
I just read your stories from earlier about the attitudes you have encountered in the SDA church, and I have to say how sad they make me. it is so sad that people have so little peace and hope in God that they feel it necessary to grind people into the ground to feel better themselves.
A similar thread was posted on an SDA site O was on yesterday, by a person who was an SDA herself. She quoted the verse "they will know we are Christians by our love." Basically she was asking why she hadn't experienced unconditional love in the church and wasn't love what God called us to?
The answer she got was this -- "blessed is he who has not seen and yet believes." Basically, their answer was "believe based on the doctrines alone, we shouldn't have to love you for you to know we are Christian.
So sad. So very sad.
|
Kme
Registered user
Username: Kme
Post Number: 50
Registered: 7-2000
| | Posted on Friday, June 11, 2004 - 11:38 am: | |
Susan your post about the coffee tickled me in light of what I JUST did before I read it. You might get a laugh out of this. I just sent my 14 year old son out the door with a can of Deviled Ham to give to an 80 year old neighbor man who is somewhat needy. I guess according to an SDA it might better than something else he might be eating like squirrels! Ha. (I live in the country). Just had to tell you that.
Kme |
Tealeaves
Registered user
Username: Tealeaves
Post Number: 38
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Friday, June 11, 2004 - 12:25 pm: | |
I have a true story, not SDA in origin, and not a joke, but still kind of funny.
I was talking to a Mormon guy the other day who was telling me about how he was going to be a god someday, and it reminded me of a Mormon guy I met during nursing school. I was checking him into the Psych ward, he was arrested for trying to evangelize naked at a local car dealership, telling people that he was present with God at the creation of the world.
-True story! (well, my meeting him was true, I can't vouch for the part about his presence at creation.) |
Freeatlast
Registered user
Username: Freeatlast
Post Number: 179
Registered: 5-2002
| | Posted on Friday, June 11, 2004 - 1:46 pm: | |
Before answering "how many Seventh-day Adventists does it take to change a light bulb?", some things must first be considered very seriously:
1. Is the light bulb the problem, or has God removed the light from your bulb because you have not been perfectly obedient to all ten commandments, especially the 4th? Or, perhaps you did not pay your full tithe this week. Perhaps God has not blessed your light bulb, but instead cursed it because of your sins. Perhaps it does not need to be changed at all, but what needs to be changed is your attitude towards the light the bulb has already given you in the past, and it will re-light when you do that. Perhaps you have not been worthy of the bulb's light...
2. Is it the "lesser" light bulb that is refusing to give light? If so, then you have several issues to consider. If you are using Historic Brand light bulbs in your lesser light, then it must only be replaced with the appropriate, pure white bulb, none other is acceptable. If you even consider using any other brand bulb, your light will be permanently broken. If you have been using Contemporary Brand lesser light bulbs, then you can replace it with any bulb of your choosing, so long as you are personally comfortable with the bulb you chose. If you use Evangelical Brand light bulbs then it is not really necessary to replace it at all. The "greater" light bulb is still burning brightly and there is plenty of light in the room!
3. Be certain that you do not replace the bulb during Sabbath hours, that you purchase the bulb from an authorized bulb distribution center (don't trust those "cheap grace" brand light bulbs that you see advertised all over the place - those bulbs don't really have any light, it is just an optical illusion that their bulbs are shining), and that you pay with money AFTER tithe has been taken out (at the full 23% rate the GC recommends!)
4. Be sure that every other bulb user you encounter knows how much better your light bulb is than theirs, because it contains the highest amount of "pure light" among all the bulbs available on the market. If they refuse to accept your position on light bulbs, condemn them because they really don't want light at all.
I could go on all day long, but you probably get the point by now... ;>)
|
Doc
Registered user
Username: Doc
Post Number: 79
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, June 12, 2004 - 2:43 am: | |
How about a Mormon one?
Who needs a light bulb when you have your own personal "burning in the bosom" to light your way?
Doc
|
Debbie
Registered user
Username: Debbie
Post Number: 70
Registered: 7-2000
| | Posted on Saturday, June 12, 2004 - 11:04 am: | |
What do you think the SDA would say to this:
In-n-out, who is Christian owned and operated, and who is famous for their double-double burger (double cheese, double meat), puts one of three bible verses on all of their beverage and french fry containers: (?)
John 3:16; Isaiah 53; Proverbs 3:5-6
Debbie |
Debbie
Registered user
Username: Debbie
Post Number: 71
Registered: 7-2000
| | Posted on Saturday, June 12, 2004 - 11:08 am: | |
This one is just plain funny
The preacher's wife was in an exotic pet store and she discovered a sign on a cage that said, "Parrot for Sale, $9.95 ... includes cage."
She just could not pass up such a bargain, but she asked the clerk why the parrot was so cheap.
"This parrot used to use the foulest language. We have been retraining him, but we can't guarantee anything. That is why he is so cheap.
The preacher's wife still thought it was a good deal, so she bought the parrot and the cage, took him home, and hung the cage in the kitchen.
She said, "Polly want a cracker?" The parrot started using some of the foulest language she had ever heard ... some words she had never even heard before.
She opened the cage, grabbed the parrot by the throat, stuffed him into the freezer and slammed the door. In a few minutes, she opened the freezer door. The parrot's feathers were ruffled from the cold, but he was okay otherwise.
"You use those words around me again, and I'll give you more of the same!" The bird nodded but said nothing.
The next day she had a group of widows over for a prayer meeting. Convinced the parrot had learned his lesson, she brought his cage into the living room to show him off.
During prayer time, the parrot cut loose again. The ladies were so embarrassed. The preacher's wife opened the cage, grabbed the parrot by the throat, and stuffed him into the freezer again.
This time she left him in there about twice as long as before. When she opened the freezer, this time there was frost on his beak. She pulled him out of the freezer and returned him to his cage. The parrot said nothing until all of the ladies had gone.
"Can I ask you a question, ma'am?" the parrot asked.
"What is it?" the preacher's wife answered.
"What did that turkey in there say?"
Debbie
|
Susan_2
Registered user
Username: Susan_2
Post Number: 625
Registered: 11-2002
| | Posted on Sunday, June 20, 2004 - 9:56 pm: | |
Is this funny or what? Go to www.watchthetower.com (org?) and scroll down a bit and you will get to a heading that says, Watchtower Steals Artwork. Click it on. The JW's stole Arthur Maxwell's artwork from the SDA Bible Story books and plagerized it in the JW childrens book. You can see this for yourself. Then go back to the main page of Watch the Tower and log on to the section called Comments and Questins and you can read my comments. Basically I said it's no big deal for the JW to steal from SDA books because at least 90% of what EGW wrote was stolen so it's just one cult stealing from another cult. Is kind of funny though. |
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 153
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 22, 2004 - 7:57 am: | |
Here is one. I am sure it is not true. There was an ecumenical conference somewhere and many religious leaders attended. It was in the country and a lake with an island was nearby. A priest, minister and rabbi decided to go to the island and pray where they would be free of distractions. They took a boat over.
After praying a while the priest said he had to use the toilet. So he goes to the edge of the water and steps out and walks across on the top of the water. After a while he returns. Later the minister has to use the toilet. He walks to the edge of the water, steps out on top of the water and walks across. He returns after a while.
Finally the rabbi has to use the toilet. So he goes to the edge of the water and puts his foot on the top of the water and falls face first into the water. The priest turns to the minister and said, "shall we tell him where the rocks are?"
I laughed and laughed about the parrot and the light bulb jokes.
Diana |
Helovesme2
Registered user
Username: Helovesme2
Post Number: 100
Registered: 8-2004
| | Posted on Monday, January 17, 2005 - 6:01 pm: | |
This was emailed to me today. Hope it brings you a smile!
Helovesme2
Religion as Baseball
Calvinists believe the game is fixed.
Lutherans believe they can't win, but trust the Scorekeeper.
Quakers won't swing.
Unitarians can catch anything.
Amish walk a lot.
Pagans sacrifice.
Jehovah's Witnesses are thrown out often.
Televangelists get caught stealing.
Episcopalians pass the plate.
Evangelicals make effective pitches.
Fundamentalists balk.
Adventists have a seventh-inning stretch.
Atheists refuse to have an Umpire.
Baptists want to play hardball.
Premillenialists expect the game to be called soon on account of darkness.
The Pope claims never to have committed an error. |
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker
Post Number: 1270
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 11:34 am: | |
How funny! Thanks, Helovesme2! |
Praisegod
Registered user
Username: Praisegod
Post Number: 220
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Friday, January 28, 2005 - 2:41 pm: | |
I just happened to read this on the beliefnet forum on a thread about tithing. Maybe it's been around and I'm just behind the times but I enjoyed it:
A 20$ bill and a 1$ bill are in the bank vault at night. The 20 turns to the 1 and says, "Wow, am I ever tired! I've been to so many places, I can't tell you how exhaused I am!" The 1$ bill says to the 20, "Yeah, I know what you mean. Where have you been?". The 20 replies, "Oh, I've been in 100 fancy restaurants all over the country, I've been to several glamourous casinos, two beautiful spas, several boutiques on Rodeo Drive, many country clubs, I tell you, I'm pooped! How about you? Where have you been?" The 1$ bill answers, "Well, I'm tired, too. I've been to the Methodist Church, the Presbyterian Church, the Episcopal Church, the Baptist Church, the Roman Catholic Church, the Seventh-day Adventist Church, the Lutheran Church." To which the 20$ bill replies, "What's a church?". ;)
Praise God... |
|
