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Jude the Obscure
Posted on Sunday, May 07, 2000 - 4:21 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Debbie, you sound like a person who knows what she's talking about.
Jude the Obscure
Posted on Sunday, May 07, 2000 - 4:31 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Maryann, you asked, What's the speed of darkness? The speed of light in a vacuum equals seven times around the world in less than a second. But it travels slower through air or water or glass or clear plastic or olive oil than through a vacuum. I would guess that the speed of darkness is the same. What's important to me is that darkness is also God's creation:

"I am the Lord, and there is no other. I form the light and create darkness. I bring prosperity and cause disaster; I, the Lord [Yaweh], do all these things." Isaiah 45:7.
Maryann
Posted on Sunday, May 07, 2000 - 6:01 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi Jude,

I love giving you trivial questions and some bordering on the absurd. I can most times count on an answer that is scientific or at least thought out, then tied to the Bible. :-) You see, I'm in a mode of "up-dating" the brain, and all these little seemingly trivial things I blast away with all add to the up-dating process. Keep it up.

BTW, you never answered why sheep don't shrink when they get rained on? ;-(

Maryann
Jude the Obscure
Posted on Sunday, May 07, 2000 - 6:08 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Sorry, but I'm clueless.
Steve
Posted on Sunday, May 07, 2000 - 9:09 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Why did God create time?

So that everything wouldn't happen at the same time.
Steve
Posted on Sunday, May 07, 2000 - 9:11 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

A recent Want Ad:

For sale: Complete Encyclopedia Britannica. Used once, no longer needed. Just married. Wife knows everything.
Steve
Posted on Monday, May 08, 2000 - 10:15 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

To keep busy for a few minutes (I could only last a few seconds) click on the link below.

Joke

Enjoy
Maryann
Posted on Tuesday, May 09, 2000 - 9:01 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Ha Ha! I'm a happy idiot. Last night the stupid thing inluded me. This morning, I nailed it immediately. Accidently found the secret.

Happy chasing....Maryann
Richard, Jr.
Posted on Tuesday, May 09, 2000 - 3:24 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Maryann, I have found the answer to your question concerning why sheep don't shrink when rained upon. Many people believe sheep are not very smart. In reality they are very intelligent. The sheep are aware of the law and the sheep are afraid of the law. The law says in Duet. 22:11, "Do not wear clothes of wool and linen woven together."
Plain Patti
Posted on Tuesday, May 09, 2000 - 4:31 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

No, Jude, Texas is NOT the state of the dead!
Jude the Obscure
Posted on Tuesday, May 09, 2000 - 4:55 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Patti,

"Broken dreams, empty words unknown, still live in my heart all alone, for that moonlit path by the Alamo and Rose, my Rose, of San Antone!"

Jude
Steve
Posted on Tuesday, May 09, 2000 - 7:23 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Three stages of faith in Santa Claus:

1. You believe in Santa Claus
2. You no longer believe in Santa Claus
3. You are Santa Claus
________________________________________________

Three types of faith:

1. You believe in God (Christian)
2. You no longer believe in God (Atheist)
3. You are God (New Ager)

________________________________________________

Theology of Dogs and Cats:

A dog says:

1. They bring me food
2. They give me love and affection
3. They must be gods

A cat says:

1. They bring me food
2. They give me love and affection
3. I must be god
Maryann
Posted on Wednesday, May 10, 2000 - 2:35 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Webmsater,

You are funny.
Steve
Posted on Friday, May 19, 2000 - 5:57 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

For the philosophically inclined (or challenged):

Karl Barth, Paul Tillich, Reinhold Niebuhr and James Cone found themselves all at the same time at Caesarea Philippi. Who should come along but Jesus, and
he asked the four the same Christological question, "Who do you say that I, the Son of Man, am?"

Karl Barth stands up and says: You are the totaliter aliter, the vestigious trinitatum who speaks to us in the modality of Christo-monism.

Not prepared for Barth's brevity, Paul Tillich stumbles out: You are he who heals our ambiguities and overcomes the split of angst and existential estrangement;
you are he who speaks of the theonomous viewpoint of the analogy of our being and the ground of all possibilities.

Reinhold Niebuhr gives a cough for effect and says, in one breath: You are the impossible possibility who brings to us children of light and children of darkness,
the overwhelming oughtness in the midst of our fraught condition of estrangement and brokenness in the contiguity and existential anxieties of our ontological
relationships.

Finally James Cone gets up, and raises his voice: You are my Oppressed One, my soul's shalom, the One who was, who is, and who shall be, who has never
left us alone in the struggle, the event of liberation in the lives of the oppressed struggling for freedom, and whose blackness is both literal and symbolic.

And Jesus writes in the sand, "Huh?"
________________________

I've always enjoyed that joke. It underlines an important point: We can make Christianity so complex, that it is no longer relevant to those we need to relate to in the world. Jesus said, "Let the little children come unto me . . ."
Maryann
Posted on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 10:01 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi Guys,

In my going's on my trip, I got caught without "Sharon", my voice box. I had to write something out to communicate with this guy. He then took my pen and paper and wrote my answer! He assumed that if I was "DUMB" I was also "DEAF"!

Seeeeee, I told you guys I was "DUMB" ;-)

Humbly, Dumbly........Maryann
Maryann
Posted on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 10:05 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi Colleen and Richard,

I found a reason for the "SCOOP" on the side of my truck!

Less wind resistance, better gas milage! ;-)

Still smiling......Maryann
Maryann
Posted on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 10:24 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Maryann

Sheep don't shrink because they have not been carded, spun or woven into something they are not.


They are the real thing.

George
George
Posted on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 10:28 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Well now I did it too, possted under my sisters name.

George
Maryann
Posted on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 10:30 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi George,

Good observation on the sheep! Best answer yet!

Also, it reminds me that we are sometimes trying to spin or weave other into something they are NOT!

GUILTY!

Maryann
Lynn W
Posted on Thursday, June 01, 2000 - 10:28 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

While working on a lesson in world religions, a kindergarten teacher asked her students to bring something related to their family's faith to class.
At the appropriate time she asked the students to come forward and share with the rest of the students.

The first child said, "I am Muslim and this is my prayer rug."

The second child said, "I am Jewish and this is my Star of David."

The third child said, "I am Catholic and this is my rosary."

The final child said, "I am Seventh-day Adventist and this is my casserole dish."

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