| Author | Message | ||
| Valm |
Dear Denise, I love bathroom support groups!! You dissappoint me :) Also you better not sit next to me at a ballgame, I'd drive you nuts with my yaking. :) This was a truely funny chuckle. And Denise you are who you are and thats true the beauty of you!!!!!! Valerie | ||
| Valm |
I hope my sense of humor is not too jaded. I received this last night and just had a great laugh over it. Finally a Barbie I can relate to! At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic... 1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living. 2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes withhand-held fan and tiny tissues. 3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror. 4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too-muumuus with tummy-support panels are included. 5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules. 6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics. 7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch. 8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer)is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac.They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do." 9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat. 10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke. 11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included. | ||
| Maryann |
He he he!, #2, 9 and 11 are really funny!;-)) I had a good funny a couple dayz ago but forgot it! Maybe #12 aught to be Slipped Mind Barbie complete with a Rosemary kit? | ||
| Maryann |
After Adam ate the apple, God asked Adam to explain why he ate the apple. Adam looked down at Eve and said, "This woman made me do it!" God looked at Eve and she looked down at the serpent and said, "This snake made me do it!" The snake looked down and said, "I don't have a leg to stand on!" | ||
| Denisegilmore |
HarHarHarHarHarHarHehehehehehehehawwwwwww! :)) I liked that one. Denise | ||
| Denisegilmore |
My Dear Valerie, I Hate Barbie!!!!!!!!! :)) Aannnndddd, that 'bathroom support' bit, I cannot, to save my life, understand women and this inate need for that. I truly am an oddball aren't I? :( But thank you for liking me just the same (even if you haven't emailed today)..just joking! bout the email bit,,I know you are a busy lady. God Bless your household, Hugs to them all (again from the nutty lady online) your sister in Christ Jesus, Denise | ||
| Valm |
Dear Denise, The thing that relieved me the most about not having girls is that I wouldn't have to deal either with Barbie dolls or cheerleading or watch my teenager endure unsensible shoes. But I love Barbie jokes because I think that woman has almost single handily destroyed the image of what true femininity is. Denise, if we ever visit a bathroom at the same time just remind me not to talk!!! And try not to moan when I redo my lipstick or mess with my hair!!! I have been on the road with my man and boys. We dropped Joseph off in Vancouver BC with some friends so he could go to a sailboat race clinic and then the three of us headed up to Whistler for a day and a half of skiing. We headed back down to find Joseph inside the club with a fever and looking pretty sick, probably the flu. So tomorrow is unpack, wash clothes and take care of all of his sailing gear since he will be sick and take care of all the ski stuff. Sailing invovles alot of stuff that needs the saltwater removed. He had a great day of sailing on Saturday per his coach but he is moaning too much to tell us about it. Look forward to joining the conversations tomorrow. Valerie | ||
| Maryann |
Yeh!, That bathroom stuff is JUST beyond my comprehension too!;-(( Am I missing out on something? If so, WHAT!!!? As far as adjustments and fixings....All I can imagine doing is adjusting the bag on my head!:-) | ||
| Valm |
MaryAnn, That is really funny, the bag thing. My visual picture of you is wholesomely feminine and beautiful. Once when my husband was upset at something I did to my hair. (OK, I died it one of those dark purples. It was Mardi Grau and we were going to Taos.) I told him he was the one who had to wear the bag, because I was perfectly fine with my appearance. You are not missing out on anything unless you think you are. Denise, Are you feeling better? Valerie | ||
| Maryann |
Hi Val!!!!!!!!!;-)))))), My spectacle's are still fogged up from roaring from laughter at your "visual" of me! He he he! Hey, I've been wanting to e-write you. What's your e-dress;-)) Maryann | ||
| Valm |
MaryAnn, Ask Denise. My husband would be totally wigged if I posted it. Valerie | ||
| Maryann |
Yes Mam:-)) ;-))) Well, actually, it might be funny to see him "wigged!" :-)) | ||
| Valm |
Since he has male patterned baldness that would be funny. Valerie | ||
| Maryann |
Hey Val, Since Denise is most likely sawing logs at this time, here's my new e-dress christyoureternallife@hotmail.com Wigged with a wig would be an option? :):):).....Maryann | ||
| Maryann |
Subject: BAD FOOD A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago." "Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said: "WEDDING CAKE!" He he he he.....that's really funny;-))) | ||
| Max |
Scripture does not prohibit alcohol in moderation, but it does get rather testy about drunkness. Here's why: THE ALCOFLUENCE OF INCOHOL by Oshifer Sold Cober Starkle, starkle, little twink, Just who the bleep you are I think? I'm no more under what they call The alcofluence of incohol. I'm not drunk as thinkle peep, I'm just a little slort of sheep. Tee martoonis make a guy Fool so feelish, don't know why. Don't really know who is me yet. The drunker I sit here the longer I get. So one more gin to full my cup, I've all day sober to Sunday up. | ||
| Valm |
Did I ever share with you all the last time I had communion in an Adventist church. My son Joseph then about 3 went boldly for his little cup of "wine". Knocked it back and said, in a rather loud voice, That is not wine, that is APPLE JUICE!!! So much for blending in. | ||
| Denisegilmore |
I used to have a hat that said: "TAKE ME DRUNK, I'M HOME AGAIN" In those days, that truly represented me too. Come March 5th of 2001, I will have 5, count them 5 YEARS of sobriety! God's Grace. God did it and to this day, my family sill have a hard time believing that I don't drink. I was the family drunk. God Bless all, Denise the redeemed P.S. is this boasting? If so, then give God the credit cause I couldn't have done this. | ||
| Denisegilmore |
Valerie, It sounds like your son blended in as much as I did...hehehe My grandmother who raised us children, used to get blasted at Church! It was the World Wide Church of God, headed of course by Herbert W. Armstrong and Ted Garner Armstrong. They always seemed to have a reason to have booze during our feasts. We kept all the feasts, not just Sabbath. Of course we did NOT have booze during 'unleavened bread' days...no yeast even in the house. Seemed like that week lasted forever, while trying to feast on 'Rye Crisp.' Anyway, thought I would share. God Bless, Denise the Berean | ||
| Max |
Denise, In my opinion you've written one of the most important posts in a long time. Specifically: ^^Come March 5th of 2001, I will have 5, count them 5 YEARS of sobriety! God's Grace. God did it and to this day, my family sill have a hard time believing that I don't drink. I was the family drunk. God Bless all, Denise the redeemed P.S. is this boasting? If so, then give God the credit cause I couldn't have done this.^^ It is so important not to have this transforming life-change pounded out of you with false teaching. Especially when it comes to those who've known you well, such as your family. Here's scriptural support: Jesus speaks on Mt. Blessings: ^^YOU are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light A LAMP and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it GIVES LIGHT to everyone in the house. In the same way, LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE BEFORE MEN, that they may SEE YOUR GOOD DEEDS and PRAISE [not you, but] YOUR FATHER IN HEAVEN.^^ NIV Matthew 5:14-16. |
