| Author |
Message |
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 1511
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 7:22 pm: |     |
It is so good to laugh at the things we do. Each of you wrote something I really enjoyed.
Like I said when I first wrote, we talk about serious things that affect our salvation and our relationship with Jesus, but we are human and do things that are really funny. God, in my opinion, wants us to share those with each other also.
Tdf, I hope you wife does not mind you telling us about her cooking disaster.
Thanks for sharing your disasters and funny moments.
Carol 2, I have that story some where on my computer. I really laughed when I received it and laughed again as I read it here.
It is good to acknowledge our humanity and to know that God can make us the type of person He wants because of Jesus. I think He likes to laugh and wants us to laugh with each other. Cannot find a Bible verse for it, but it just sounds like Him.
And yes I burn chicken and burn rubber, though that is not what I got the ticket for. I really like to drive fast. Give me a car in good condition, no traffic, a sunny day and no traffic and before I know it the speedometer is almost to 90. That is when I notice it and back off.
I took driving lessons from the man that taught my mother and two older sisters. When I got my drivers license the instructor told me, your mom is a good driver and I taught her, Your sister V is a good driver and I taught her, I taught G and she is a good driver. Then he looked at me and shook his head, and said, "but Diana have a lead foot." That lead foot is still with me. I just like to drive, especially long distances.
Diana |
Gmatt
Registered user
Username: Gmatt
Post Number: 4
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 7:23 pm: | |
Carol_2, What a great story. I'm still smiling. |
Foreverscout
Registered user
Username: Foreverscout
Post Number: 40
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 11:42 pm: | |
These stories are so hilarious! :o) Dd, we have had so many hamsters, and at least two were sincere escape artists. I can easily imagine this happening, only the fact that our furnace ducts are above us have saved the little beasts I suppose; and Thank God we have no cats! Carol_2, I absolutely love this story!; I have never heard it before. And Diana, I am glad that you understand my leadfoot. I didn't get my license to drive until I was 40, so I am still making up for those teenage years. Everyone will be glad to know that I save it,(mostly), for late nights on quiet roads and freeways.
We should keep the smiles coming! I betcha Jesus laughs!
Foreverscout |
Sabra
Registered user
Username: Sabra
Post Number: 354
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, May 19, 2005 - 5:23 am: | |
OK then.........
A couple of years ago I had the most horrible smell in my car! I cleaned it out, put carpet fresh in it, everything I could think of and the smell got worse everyday.
This went on for a few days, and seriously, we had to put the windows down to drive in the car.
Finally, I was taking some stuff out of the trunk and grabbed a lunch box that had been in there for about a week---the kids rarely took their lunch to school so I hadn't needed to take it out, so I thought.
When I shut the trunk I noticed the smell was stronger..........opening the box I found a semi-recognizable resemblance of a bologna sandwich half eaten.
UGH!!!!!!
I opened the truck to let it air out and went in for the night.
About 3 am the next morning my doorbell was ringing. I hate to be disturbed in my sleep and I begrudgingly stumbled to the door, hair a mess, pajamas...
It was the police. (I figured they were looking for my husband since that wouldn't be the first time)
He said, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you but your trunk is open.
I mumbled something about rotten bologna and he laughed, apologized and that's my smell story. |
Melissa
Registered user
Username: Melissa
Post Number: 888
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, May 19, 2005 - 7:09 am: | |
You know, Sabra...I didn't know the police would stop until one night they rang the doorbell in the middle of the night at my house to tell me the dome light had been left on in the car. I about had a heart attack having them come to the door that late, though I suspect they thought they were doing a good deed.
My ex forgot a bag of potatoes in the trunk once. When I took his car somewhere I mentioned the stink ... he hadn't noticed.... |
Sabra
Registered user
Username: Sabra
Post Number: 355
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, May 19, 2005 - 8:34 am: | |
eeeew.
I spilled bleach in there once, yuck for months!
Trunks are just smell collectors! ;)
BTW, Diana, the 'already cooked' rotisserie chicken at the grocery store is great! |
Marcell
Registered user
Username: Marcell
Post Number: 30
Registered: 4-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, May 19, 2005 - 9:46 am: | |
the funniest part of this to me is 'and ONLINE driving lesson'. how ironic is that???? that cracks me up! |
Pw
Registered user
Username: Pw
Post Number: 444
Registered: 6-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, May 19, 2005 - 11:28 am: | |
What's so funny about an online driving lesson? Have you never heard of a HARD DRIVE? :-) |
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker
Post Number: 1996
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, May 19, 2005 - 3:08 pm: | |
You never miss a beat, Pw...
When the boys were in early elementary school, we had an ancient Scirroco. The day came when the power window on the passenger side stopped rolling up and down--and it stuck permanently in a "down" position. We actually had to drive it for a few months before we finally got a new car.
Meanwhile, a neghbor's cat jumped in one night... Well, you can imagine the outcome. Have you ever tried to get the smell of cat urine out of upholstery and carpet? Yep--it never went away.
The boys were slightly shocked but delighted when I called it the PeeMobile. The name stuck.
Colleen |
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 1519
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, May 19, 2005 - 6:39 pm: | |
Marcell, it is not "online driving lesson", it is online "driving school". DO NOT EVER TRY IT. From my experience it is very frustrating.
Colleen, I like that PeeMobile.
Yes, I believe God likes humor or why has He given us the capacity to laugh and see the absurd in life to laugh at.
Keep sharing your stories. Humor and laughter is good for the body.
Diana |
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 1533
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Friday, May 20, 2005 - 5:52 pm: | |
I have burned pinto beans, made a pineapple upside down cake that did not cook because I put too much liquid in it and have had other disasters. Oh, one of my favorites was making coffee and putting too much coffee in the filter. That was strong stuff.
I have burned pancakes and my son survived them all.
Thanks for sharing and when you think of another story about yourself, so we can laugh with you, share it.
Diana |
Dd
Registered user
Username: Dd
Post Number: 457
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, May 20, 2005 - 11:32 pm: | |
Speaking of cooking diasters...I remember a Thanksgiving pumpkin pie that was baked and baked that would not set (it stayed liquid) because the cooks forgot to add the eggs...
Should I name names, Colleen?  |
Belvalew
Registered user
Username: Belvalew
Post Number: 458
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 12:35 pm: | |
This is a funny that is not about cooking! My son is a computer technician for Electronic Arts (the gaming company), and yesterday being the last day of the big electronics show in LA he decided to fly down there for the day. Some of you who are from Northern California will remember that a young man was arrested for starting fires in new homes that were being built because he was a member of ELF. Please don't ask me to tell you what ELF stands for because I don't recall. Anyway, that young man's name was Ryan Daniel Lewis, and that puts him on the terrorist list. When my son, Ryan Daniel Lewis, checked in for his flight yesterday he was held back because he (his name) was on the "no fly" list. He had to prove that he was not the terrorist, and it came down to him just proving that if he were the terrorist he would be locked up in jail.
It all worked out because they held his flight an extra 10 minutes while they reasoned things out. His EA buddies had a wonderful time teasing him once he was on-board. |
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker
Post Number: 2011
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 2:26 pm: | |
Ha! I had completely forgotten that, Denise! Talk about suppressing embarrassing moments! (What did we do about that, anyway?!)
Colleen
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Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 1537
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 3:28 pm: | |
Belva,
That story reminds me of a story about my son. I had moved back to Va from Tx summer of 1993. That summer there had been a series of rapes done by a young man about my son's age and had a white car similar to his. My son got stopped by the Mannassas police because of the similarity in looks and car model. He proved he was not the person for whom they were looking. I have forgotten all the details. We were just thankful it was a mistaken identity. Another "whoa" moment. God's hand was over my son and me.
Diana |
Belvalew
Registered user
Username: Belvalew
Post Number: 463
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 4:29 pm: | |
It will be interesting to see if the air carriers keep the fact that he is not the terrorist in their data base. We are planning a short trip to Vegas next month (maybe we'll see you there, Diana) and so we are already planning to get to the airport extra early in case he has to go through all that rigmarole again. |
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 1542
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 8:45 pm: | |
Belva,
Get my e-mail address from Colleen and let me know when you are coming and I can send you my phone number. I would really like to meet you and anyone else from FAF.
I will be praying for you and your son.
Diana |
Tisha
Registered user
Username: Tisha
Post Number: 71
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 23, 2005 - 1:02 pm: | |
One time we had a kidnapping here of a young boy. They put out an APB on the make, model and color of the car seen leaving the area. My husband goes to work in the wee hours of the morning and he was stopped because is car fit the description. He had not heard about the kidnappping yet and so was surprised at being stopped and questioned. He was let go because he wasn't thought to be the kidnapper. But the amazing thing was that when they later caught the guy (and rescued the child), his name was the same as my husband's name! How wierd is that? At least they have the guy behind bars now!
-tisha |
Belvalew
Registered user
Username: Belvalew
Post Number: 474
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Monday, May 23, 2005 - 5:10 pm: | |
It feels like a close call when someone who just happens to share your moniker chooses to be Public Enemy #1. During that period of time when the arsonist in Sacramento was all over the news I would be walking through the living room and hear my son's name associated with all of those evil deeds and my blood would run cold. It is said that we all share our name (on average) with 20,000 other individuals. Here all this time I've thought I was so unique! I'd dare say there aren't 20,000 walking around with my personal names (first, middle) because my mom wanted to be certain this kid wouldn't get lost in the crowd. My name is Belva Cleoane. Everywhere I go I have to repeat it twice, then spell it for them, and they still get it wrong. When I was a kid in school I hated my name--I wished I had been named Debbie--but with maturity, even though I still have to jump through hoops to get people to understand what I've said (what kind of name is that?!!!!!!) I'm very happy to know that I'm the only one in the room with my name.
When we get to heaven we will all have a new name. I believe that each and every individual will have a unique name, even with the numberless crowd of the redeemed. I totally believe that once we know the name that Jesus knows us by we will each be proud to wear that one-of-a-kind, never-to-be-confused-with-anyone-else name. Until then, I'm glad my mother insisted on giving me a very uncommon name.
Give me Jesus!
Belva |
Foreverscout
Registered user
Username: Foreverscout
Post Number: 49
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 3:18 pm: | |
Hi everyone, I have a new LAUGH for you, it was sent to me a while back and I came across it while cleaning out my Inbox. This one had all my family in stitches.
Love and Laughter to you all,
Foreverscout
HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER! (You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one... )
Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course
of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how
beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was.
Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship
between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, she started
to
wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what
you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just
roommates."
About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever
since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the
beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail
just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mom: I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from
the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle.
But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here
for dinner. Love, Brian
Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie, I'm
not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains
that if Stephanie was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found
the gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY ... NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER
:o) she knows anyway
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Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 1562
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 4:08 pm: | |
That is funny. Thanks.
Diana |
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 1563
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 4:17 pm: | |
To all of my new friends here on FAF.
<http://www.castlemountains.net/flashmar/A_Cup_Of_Joy.swf>.
Enjoy.
Diana |
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker
Post Number: 2046
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 9:16 pm: | |
OK, I have a joke a friend emailed me earlier this week. An old biker dressed in clean but ragged denim and leather made his way into church one Sunday. It was a very large church, beautifully appointed, with amazing stained glass windows, etc.
The man found himself sitting pretty much alone, and people cast sideways glances at him. On his way out of church, the pastor spoke to him . "Go home this week," the pastor said, "and ask God what he would like you to wear to church next Sunday."
The biker agreed, and the next Sunday he came back dressed exactly as he had been the Sunday before. On the way out the pastor spoke to him again.
"Did you ask God what you should wear here to church?" he inquired.
"I sure did," the biker replied.
"Well, what did He say?"
"He said He didn't know," the biker replied; "He's never been here."
Colleen |
Bob
Registered user
Username: Bob
Post Number: 282
Registered: 7-2000
| | Posted on Thursday, May 26, 2005 - 3:28 pm: | |
Here is a story with a good point!
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like Mother of Pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.
He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered. "Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir, come right in, and I'll have some iced water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in too?" the traveler asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside,
leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there."
The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."
"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump."
They went through the gate and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, and then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.
"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is Heaven," was the answer.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use heaven's name like that?"
"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who are willing to leave their friends behind."
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Helovesme2
Registered user
Username: Helovesme2
Post Number: 205
Registered: 8-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, May 26, 2005 - 7:07 pm: | |
Wow! That story has lots of food for thought Bob. Thanks for sharing it!
Mary |
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 1567
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, May 26, 2005 - 7:28 pm: | |
Colleen & Bob,
Both of you give us lots of food for thought.
Thanks. I really like to share things like this.
Diana |
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 1715
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, July 10, 2005 - 12:48 pm: | |
Today, I decided to cook some more chicken and guess what??? I DID NOT BURN IT!!!! Just thought I would share that with all of you. Of course I was not on the internet and into whatever I was doing.
Have a wonderful, God filled, awesome day.
Diana |
Riverfonz
Registered user
Username: Riverfonz
Post Number: 519
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, July 10, 2005 - 1:33 pm: | |
Congratulations Diana, I am wishing the same type of awesome day for you.
Stan |
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