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Taybie
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Username: Taybie

Post Number: 14
Registered: 4-2005
Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 7:53 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi everyone. I would like to be writing a note that talks about the progression my life has made, about how great things are, but alas, Ihave no such words. I fear this depression is worse than ever. I don't clean my home anymore...I don't really cook or eat. I just go to work. I simply sleep. I am saddened at how drastically different my life is right now. Ido not know how to even pray for myself. I stopped doing that a while ago. I am so isolated. I am sinking deeper into debt. I can't even afford groceries sometimes. I am not ungrateful...I love my Lord. I am just not so sure of who Iam or where I am going...what I am doing. i feel so lost. I have very very very few friends...( say maybe 2) and am lonely most of the time. My engine is dying in my car, (which I have had for about 2 months now) I am losing sight of it all. I don't need beration...that is why I have been quiet for so long. I have been deeply berated by somany so called well meaning 'friends' and I simply cannot take another soul telling me how wrong I am or how pessimistic I am being. I just miss being loved. :-(
Chris
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Username: Chris

Post Number: 854
Registered: 7-2003


Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 8:10 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Oh Father, wrap Taybie in your loving fatherly arms right now. Let Taybie feel you as a loving protecting parent in this time. As you hold Taybie in your arms, speak to Taybie of who she is in you. Show her the identity she has right now in Christ and let her see the incredible value she has as your child. Fill up the lonely corners in her life with your presence. Put people in her life that will strengthen and comfort her. Father, I also pray that you would care for Taybieís daily needs as well. Provide for your child in this time of need. Give her the things necessary to live and work and prosper. Father, take Taybie from the dark hole she is sinking into and lift her up into the light through the strength of you mighty hands. Lord, work a miracle in Taybieís life and let Your Name be glorified by it. Be glorified in and through Taybie dear Lord. Be glorified. Bless Taybie with the deliverance, the strength, and the joy she needs to praise Your Holy Name Father. Bless Taybie greatly. May other brothers and sisters come together in agreement and prayer for Taybie. May you hear our prayers. May the presence of Jesus be among us and especially with Taybie.

In the Holy Name of Jesus we come before Your throne with this petition,

Amen
Tracey
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Username: Tracey

Post Number: 369
Registered: 9-2004
Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 8:15 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Aww... My dear Taybie. Even in your darkest hours, even in the desert, the Lord is with you. Sometimes it's when we can no longer depend on ourselves is when He can step in and truly teach you that He is the source of your strength alone. That He is the provider, protector and lover of your soul. I know from experience that He allows low points, so that we come to know Him in a new way unlike what we think we know Him as. It may not feel like it, but through this, He is teaching you, speaking to your very heart, ministering to you, loving you and molding you for greatness. sometimes our depression comes b/c we don't understand why things are so bad, so hard. But His word says Lean NOT to your own understanding, in ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. You are going have to put all of your trust in Him now. It may not feel good right now, but I can say from experience, the place (spiritually) that you are in is a "coming to the end of yourself" and when you are there, God is waiting to do what He has always been wanting to do but we trusted ourselves more. I believe that you will see a change soon. Just Hold On, my love, Hold On to God's unchanging Hands!

I love you! You are loved. You are valuable.
God gave His beloved and only Son for you. Your life has meaning and purpose. And sometimes we find our purpose in Christ through these rough times. And the Lord is always with you. When you can't find the words to pray, just get on your knees before the Lord and He will look into that precious heart that loves Him and He will know.

Your walk is not in vain. There are seasons that we will all go through. Ecclesiastes. All these things work together for good to them who (are called) who love the Lord. Amen, Taybie? Amen, Taybie?
Tracey
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Username: Tracey

Post Number: 370
Registered: 9-2004
Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 8:15 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Amen Chris!
Bmorgan
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Username: Bmorgan

Post Number: 43
Registered: 7-2000
Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 8:47 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

God Is Our Mighty Fortress
1God is our mighty fortress,
always ready to help in times of trouble.

2And so, we won't be afraid!
Let the earth tremble and the mountains tumble into the deepest sea.

3Let the ocean roar and foam, and its raging waves shake the mountains.

4A river and its streams bring joy to the city, which is the sacred home of God Most High.

5God is in that city, and it won't be shaken. He will help it at dawn.

6Nations rage! Kingdoms fall!
But at the voice of God the earth itself melts.

7The LORD All-Powerful is with us.
The God of Jacob is our fortress.

8Come! See the fearsome things the LORD has done on earth.

9God brings wars to an end all over the world. He breaks the arrows, shatters the spears, and burns the shields.

10Our God says, "Calm down, and learn that I am God!
All nations on earth will honor me."

11The LORD All-Powerful is with us. The God of Jacob is our fortress.

Psalm 46

Taybie, We cannot be near you at this time, but your Father God is there with you. I pray His Peace, Power and Presence encircle and empower you totally during this season of your life.

May the Grace of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, the love of God and the fellowship of His Holy Spirit be with you.
Bmorgan

Hrobinsonw
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Username: Hrobinsonw

Post Number: 196
Registered: 7-2004
Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 8:57 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Taybie,

I feel you. I have engine troubles, bills are mounting. School loans, outstanding debt outside of school loans. My job pays me basically nothing. Not to mention my premature daughter keeps having setbacks in intesive care. That alone is enough to kill you. After the blood transfusion Friday I was hurt pretty deeply.

But in all my trials, I always recite a part of Romans 5: 1-5. It always helps me. "also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." It is helping me right now in my time of need, and I hope it does the same for you. But you are a beautiful person and God loves you at all times. Even in despair he sees you and you have not been forgotten. You will attain character through all of this. The sheer fact that you are talking to us about your issues is a testament of your strength. I personally know many people that find other alternatives to perseverance. Keep your head up and everything is going to work itself out.

Hrobinsonw
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Username: Hrobinsonw

Post Number: 197
Registered: 7-2004
Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 8:59 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Oh, and before I forget. Tracey, CONGRATULATIONS. You haven't called a brother since 1985 but that is alright. I hope you carry that diploma with you everywhere to show people because that truly is something to be proud of. Hope to hear from you soon.
Patriar
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Username: Patriar

Post Number: 56
Registered: 3-2005
Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 9:36 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Taybie:

Jesus is your strength. Jesus is your power. Jesus is your hope. Jesus is your lover. Jesus is your friend.

Taybie, do not despair. This dark hour WILL pass. Hold on to the Truth. Hold on to the ONE who is your source of comfort. How? Read Romans, Hebrews, Ephesians, Galatians. Don't worry about your house. It will be OK. Don't worry about your car. It will be OK. Don't worry about not having friends...we are your friends. Don't worry loved one. Jesus has you in the palm of His hand. He may not remove your situation, but He will hold you tight.

Don't stay in bed! I understand because I fight it every single day. Get up! Open the curtains, let in the fresh air and fall to your knees.

Dear Lord:
I lift Taybie up to you right now. Give her an ability to see with your eyes. Give her a perspective up and over the situations she feels mired in. Give Taybie an overflowing abundance of your peace Lord so that she may feel it to the core of herself.
Jesus, there is nothing we face that you have not faced yourself, show Taybie the way through.
In your precious and Holy Name:
Amen

Taybie
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Username: Taybie

Post Number: 15
Registered: 4-2005
Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 9:56 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I am popping in and out, but I am being so greatly blessed by all of your prayers and love. Thanks you guys. I appreciate the prayers. This whole 'standing for what I believe in' thing is really eating at me. I really am alone. I mean that inthe sense that the Lord told me to move to Alabama and to attend Oakwood College. He led me here and now all I want to do is leave. I have no family and all the friends I thought I had, (save 2 or so) have all forgotten me. I know I suffer for a higher purpose and Jesus hasn't left me. I just don't understand why God chose to allow me into this whole messed up mess and then YANK me out!!!??!!!??!!! Sorry, a little angry over here. :-)
Raven
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Username: Raven

Post Number: 255
Registered: 7-2004


Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 11:22 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Taybie,
I can relate to the pain of your loneliness and trying to figure out where you fit in. I'm also praying that you can find joy in Christian fellowship and have your other needs met as well. Have you tried the Huntsville fellowship for former SDA's? I know one exists, but don't know if you've tried it or maybe it doesn't meet your specific needs at this time.
Tisha
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Username: Tisha

Post Number: 94
Registered: 3-2005
Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 11:54 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Taybie,

I think sometimes anger can be the catalyst to move us out of our depression. I think "angry" is OK! But, don't stop there - use it to act in a way that will bring you what you need.

When I finally felt anger and even anger at God, I began to see a way out of my depression. I yelled at God like a little child having a temper tantrum! But He didn't strike me dead! That was a turning point for me because I finally realized that nothing I could do would make God leave me! I didn't need to be perfect, or to have it all figured out. He was with me just where I was. I finally learned to trust in Him.

That was a time in my life when everything seemed to be going wrong - my husband left me, I was trying to work, go to school, raise two children, and care for aging parents. My finances were in a shambles, my car was broken, my house needed a new roof. I couldn't see a way out.

But when I finally hit bottom and "told" the Lord that I had nothing left but Him, "told" Him that I needed Him to take care of me, I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I turned to the Bible for strength and in the process left the SDA Church! I have had one miracle after another that has kept me going. Now looking back, I know that I would still be in bondage to an abusive husband and an abusive church if things had not changed. I have grown so much through this. But at the time I thought I would die - and wished I would!

I don't know about you - but at that time I was so angry at God that all the people telling me to pray, to read the Bible, to listen to God, to trust in Him just seemed so pointless and made me even angrier! I would think "sure, THEY can say that because everything is going OK for them - what do they know!" It felt like judgement that I wasn't doing it right, or wasn't good enough in some way. Most of my "friends" turned away from me. But when I finally screamed out to God in my anger and pain, and had nowhere else to turn, He was there for me! That still amazes me! God is so awesome.

So - don't put "shoulds" on yourself! Just face one day at a time. God is still there with you. Pray when you can, read the Bible for comfort when you are ready. Get angry and use it to motivate you! Eventually you will come into the light and see that He has been there all along. Then you will be able to understand just what trusting God can do. He is so wonderful.

Meanwhile, I will keep you in my prayers. I will pray for you to learn to trust in God and to know peace in Him. He is our all!

-tisha
Jwd
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Username: Jwd

Post Number: 35
Registered: 4-2005
Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 12:09 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Dear Taybie,

I know all about depression. Eleven years of professionally diagnosed "chronic, severe depression" and efforts by Pshcyologists, Psychiatrists, drugs, books to cure, "chronic severe depression." 11 Years! Straight! No let up. It nearly took my life twice. I know about lonliness and despair.

One night past midnight, miles from home, beside the turbulent dark waters going down a dark hole chute of some sort, the waters pulled at my consciousness to surrender myself into that black swirling pit. I beat my hands on the roof of my car, my fists doubled up,beating that car so hard and for so long, screaming at the top of my lungs to God! The next day at work my hands were swollen, sore as hell, and my throat was so hoarse I spoke as if with laryngitis - - from my desperate screaming to God; for help and in anger. For it felt He had totally abandoned me. No one will EVER understand who has not lived it as I did, within my own skin.

I was terminated from Adventist ministry for nothing involving the Des Ford, 2300 day prophecy at that time, (although no doubt they classified me as a Fordite) - - but for only one reason: for refusing to stop preaching the authentic true Gospel I had discovered from my own personal study of Luther's Commentary on Romans and Galatians.

I took my stand for God and His Gospel and He totally turned His back on me! That's how it felt. My entire family was branded apostates and heretics - which still stands to this day with some relatives and most former members I pastored for 17 years.

I thought I was becoming an atheist - so deep was my despair. Only His grace kept me from totally cracking up. Driving between job appointments (working as an assistant physical therapist for 10 years) I would cry like a baby, only to wipe away my tears, collect myself, and go into the next Convalescent hospital to do my work. I sat like a zombie at
home, unable to communicate with my wife and children. We all endured a living hell for eleven years! Until the Lord Himself appeared to me in Spirit and Personally removed my Monster Depression and convinced me of His love for me, and I was truly born anew as never before. Why eleven years of pure torture of hell? It's going to be one of the first questions I ask him in glory, believe you me!

In spite of all this, during the night when I would bury my face in my pillow in tears, and in angry confusion, I would still pray, "God have mercy!"

One truth I hope you can cling to .. even if it's only two fingers on one hand that clings to it. It IS true: You are NOT alone! In the darkness and swirling emotional pain clouding and blocking the windows of your heart, not permitting any sunshine to pierce through just now.....Your Loving Father, your Creator Saviour,
who has chosen you, Taybie (Jn 15:5, 16, 19) He is there right in the midst of that darkness...... in Fact He IS that darkness, surrounding you like a black comfort. He IS the Silence. His voice IS the voice of Silence. Your finances, the car's engine: What are these to the God of Universes? These are nothing to Him. He won't even break a sweat to deal with them. So remember that and let Him handle those things. Don't waste your energy looking to that car's engine. You are a branch, right? Isn't that what Jesus called you? (Jn 15) Then just BE a branch. Nuttin' else right now! Just be a branch! Look to Jesus. Remain/abide in HIM!
Nothing else. No-THING else but this!!!!

Turn to the promises in the Bible others have posted here. I give you Ps. 91 as one I read over and over and over again - always finding just enough encouragement from it, to allow me to take one more step that day.

If you would like, I would love to send you an
Affirmation given to me, that has been a tremendous source of strength for me. Write to
JDixon1@bak.rr.com if you care to.

Don't TRY to fight this depression just now. None of the cliches help, that's why I won't give you any. You can't just "get over it!"
You can't just "Get ahold of yourself!" Anyone who has never been depressed cannot understand that. Accept it for now. Try to yield yourself to it. Tell yourself, "Ok, Taybie, you're depressed and totally confused now. You're feeling very sorry for yourself (another thing no one should tell you NOT TO BE right now.......you can't help it!) Don't judge
yourself. Say, "God is with me and allowing
this for some unexplained reason. I know I am secure in Him, Jesus IS my SOURCE and my SUPPLY.
All I need is Him and found in Him. I will let go; plod like a "slug in a puddle" through my days; and I will tell myself a thousand times, if necessary, "Accept this, Taybie. Float with it for now." Only God can see the purpose and why this has come upon your spirit. So trust Him. Let God be God. Your faith is NOT what is important right now. That is His gift to begin with. He'll keep it alive. He's watching the small flame of your faith, as He did mine. He will NOT allow His gift to you to "go out!" So
don't worry about trying to be or feel spiritually strong. Accept that you are right now, weak and frightened and confused and depressed and feeling lonely. All those are emotions you probably can't switch off. It's like stopping Niagra Falls, so don't try.

Read the Bible promises slowly, carefully and CONSISTENTLY. Get some exercise if you can.
Take a walk, go swimming, whatever you like;
jog;....but do something physical. Rent some really rediculously funny movies and watch them and laugh till you shed tears. They'll act as a momentary splash of ice water in your psyche face. You need those moments when your mind is torn away from all the negativity - if even for a few moments. You need those moments. Attempt to live in the NOW. It's all there is!

And repeat the name "Jesus" over and over in your mind or on your lips. That shows Him you are looking to Him, at Him. He won't let you go!
He has NEVER left you. He's only hiding in this darkness right now.

Remember He IS LOVE. He not only loves you,
and he not only is loving, but He - - Himself!!!
IS LOVE!!! That is the ONLY way He deals with
you; the ONLY motive in his heart that prompts His grace to you.....LOVE.

This is one of the hardest things you will ever attempt to do, but try your best to do it, nevertheless. In spite of the absence of ANY positive or joyous feeling, say to yourself, "I KNOW in Whom I Believe. He is with me and He will never leave me. I KNOW it! It IS SO! I KNOW IT."
Not "I feel it" - for chances are, for awhile you will not feel it. But you can KNOW it. Our feelings have absolutely NOTHING - No Thing - to do with God's act of Grace toward us!

Lean on the faith and love of me and others you only know by their postings on this forum. Just
lean on them, if you need. But don't stop
writing.

"Rest in Jehovah. His life floods through (you) now and ever more (even though you don't feel it)." Say a thousand times a day: "God is my ALL."

You are embraced in my prayers right now and will continue to be. Well, maybe one cliche....
"Soon after midnight, the dawn, ALWAYS comes." (my paraphrase). As sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, so this time of trouble in your heart will pass. Yes, Taybie, it is true, "This too, shall pass." Meanwhile, you just relax with what is your assignment for now.....JUST HANG.
The limb you are hanging ON, is Jesus Himself.
You are connected (as His branch (Jn 15) ) to
Him. He is your Source of all you need. You will NOT be lost in this time of despair. You WILL NOT! I know! I KNOW !

In Christ's love,
Jess
Tracey
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Username: Tracey

Post Number: 371
Registered: 9-2004
Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 12:12 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Good idea Raven!
The Huntsville group meets every Saturday night. One girl also used to attend Oakwood. Faith who posts on here. I will ask Faith (or Hrob) where they meet.
good thinking, Raven!
Tracey
Chris
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Username: Chris

Post Number: 855
Registered: 7-2003


Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 12:25 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hmmmm......Taybie, you seem to be in very good company here. Many here understand the darkness you are experiencing from personal experience.

It strikes me that a relatively large number of us have experienced rather severe episodes of depression (this definately includes me for much of my life).

Does anyone have any insight as to if this is a normal distribution or if our reports of severe depression are higher per capita than average? Is there some sort of common link here?

Chris
Hrobinsonw
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Username: Hrobinsonw

Post Number: 198
Registered: 7-2004
Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 12:29 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Taybie, here is my email address.

hrobinsonw@yahoo.com.

My wife and I would be glad to talk to you. We don't have many friends so we always welcome new ones.
Taybie
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Username: Taybie

Post Number: 16
Registered: 4-2005
Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 1:20 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

You guys are wonderful. I really thank God for the way each of you freely share your love. I have been invited to the Fellowship here, but am very very VERY not wanting to participate. Particularly because I just don't want to talk about Adventism. I am pretty bitter and don't want to ooze my bitterness on anyone else. There are also people part of that gathering that have not been too kind to me, and Iam still battling with forgiveness as far as they are concerned. Well, maybe not forgiveness, but I sincerely doubt their sincerity towards me. Dramatic as it may sound, it is where Iam right now, but I thank you kindly for the idea.
Melissa
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Username: Melissa

Post Number: 930
Registered: 7-2003


Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 1:53 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Taybie, I'll be praying for you. I so understand that depression, but especially the anger. How could a God who loves me allow so much heartache and pain. I still battle bouts with that anger, and sometimes am not very kind towards people I know God died for because of it. It does ebb and flow for me, with the anger gradually becoming less. I think it really is part of a whole grief process that those negatively impacted by adventism endure. As JWD said, there are not pat answers or cliches that can make you feel better. If there is a support group local like Raven mentioned, WHETHER YOU FEEL LIKE IT OR NOT...go. Let people love you and carry you through this dark hour...they are only being the hands and feet of Christ in those moments. Whether you recognize it now or not, somewhere down the road, you will be able to look back and see some learning or purpose for this time. I still would like to avoid the pain, myself, but I do see it making a difference in me that maybe couldn't have happened elsewise.

Take each day, each moment as it comes. Do what you know in your head is right, and your emotions/feelings will catch up eventually. God is near the brokenhearted...so you must be standing on pretty holy ground....
Melissa
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Username: Melissa

Post Number: 931
Registered: 7-2003


Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 1:56 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Taybie, your post hit while I was writing, if the support group Raven mentioned isn't the right one for you, find a Christian group somewhere. There is no underestimating the power and love of the body of Christ surrounding you....
Colleentinker
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Username: Colleentinker

Post Number: 2157
Registered: 12-2003


Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 2:31 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Taybie, I feel for you. I understand the anger and the depression and the aloneness. Sometimes I have to forcefully and consciously apply Philippians 4:1-7 to my life: "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Remember that God wastes nothing, and He redeems everything we submit to Him. Even if you can't do anything else, read Scripture. Jess's suggestion of Psalm 91 is a good place to start. I'd also like to suggest that you memorize short passages at a time, for instance, the passage in Philippians above, or Romans 8.

Our pastor's wife has frequently mentioned in women's Bible study that she went through absolute black depression after her second child was born. She was unable to function. Her husband told her she had to begin reading the Bible, because the truth was there, not in her feelings or her understanding. She began to read the Psalms daily, and her depression gradually began to lift.

Truth and reality are there, Taybie. What you've experienced is real; but reality is more than you can see. God reveals Himself and His redemptive truth through His word. Even though you can't feel Him, by faith reach to Him and spend some time every day in His word. And know that we love you and are praying for you.

Chris, you ask an interesting question; I really don't know about the distribution of depression among forum members or former Adventists compared to the rest of the population. Here's a theory I have, though--people who do not run from knowing truth, I believe, tend to experience the traumas of life much more deeply than those who refuse to live in reality.

People who fear pain will often avoid facing truth; those who face truth WILL often feel pain. But it's only in facing the reality of one's life and one's pain that God can truly heal our hearts. What we refuse to acknowledge is not available for God to reach because we don't open those parts of ourselves to Him.

I praise Him for being faithful and for bringing people into our lives who can intercede for us.

Colleen
Flyinglady
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Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 1639
Registered: 3-2004


Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 7:24 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Taybie,
I can place myself in your shoes as I got very depressed when my Mom died 3 years ago. I ended up going to see a counselor and getting put on an antidepressant. I was on it for about 4 months.
Father in heaven, be close to Taybie right now. You know how she is feeling and you know best how to help her. May she feel your presence in her life. Thank you for taking care of her right now.
You are awesome.
Diana
Foreverscout
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Username: Foreverscout

Post Number: 60
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Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 7:42 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Taybie, I am praying for you, and I want you to know something, this too shall pass. I know this sounds trite and you may not believe it, but I promise that it is true. I have struggled with severe biological depression since I was a young girl so when I say that I understand the pain, I am tellling you the truth. I literally can not count the number of times that I have attempted suicide in my desperation for release.

Chris, AMEN!

Patriar is right, if you find yourself staying in bed, fight against it. Don't think about cleaning the entire house, pick one chore. And you must eat, you need to take care of your body. I know these three things will be VERY hard for you to do, but you will feel a little better for it, hey, it's a start. Maybe you will only feel up to one of them at a time, that's ok, it's babysteps, but steps none-the-less.

Taybie, Jesus hasn't left you, it's just that within the deep dark hole of depression it's hard to feel His presence. Keep praying anyway, if your own faith fails you at this time, trust in ours here, HE IS WITH YOU EVEN NOW! And when you can not pray, the Holy Spirit prays for you. Remember this Taybie, remember who you are, you are a child of God and that is what makes you precious. You need do nothing else to make yourself valuable, our Lord holds you as such already.

What you did today Taybie when you came here means you are already on the road to recovery, it's how I got better- by asking someone else for help.

If you ever want to write or chat, email me at psjkelly@utm.net. I will listen, I don't judge. I won't talk SDA with you because I am not even a former.

God Will Bless You,
Foreverscout
Tracey
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Username: Tracey

Post Number: 372
Registered: 9-2004
Posted on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 8:23 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I have to ditto Melissa. Find a christian group with which to fellowship, if you are wanting friends. If that's not what you feel in your heart right now..That is okay also. The Lord will lead you and sometimes He can work on us and help us when are alone and not with others or depending on others..
Taybie
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Username: Taybie

Post Number: 17
Registered: 4-2005
Posted on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 8:59 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Each of you are awesome. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement and I thank you for loving on me. I feel a little better today. Amen for a good day! - Shontay
Taybie
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Username: Taybie

Post Number: 30
Registered: 4-2005
Posted on Thursday, July 21, 2005 - 10:49 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I cannot express my gratitude to the Father for each of you. I am still battling things, (who isn't?) but I am MUCH better. Thank you...each of you that dared to care or pray or speak, thank you. I felt like I was in prison, but in reality, I was simply FACING the wall...thank God Almighty for each of you, pointing me towards the window...towards the Light. I love you...I really do.

Shontay
Melissa
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Username: Melissa

Post Number: 974
Registered: 7-2003


Posted on Thursday, July 21, 2005 - 12:29 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Shontay, ANY spiritual challenge will bring you to the same general place. It seems you always have to wander through the fire and pain to realize the glory in Christ. Somewhere in our minds, we get the idea if we play by the rules, things go well. A has nothing to do with B. God takes me through this world, if I let him, to make me more Christlike. I don't usually like those processes. But in hindsight, running the post-mortum, so to say, I always see huge milestones in faith. Though I'd still prefer a different method, I'm almost always thankful for the growth and maturity. The hardest part is "needing" others for me. I've been let down a lot through the years, and have tried to be 'self-sufficient'. It truly doesn't work. We need each other and I think that's why scripture talks about edifying each other so much (the proverbial "one anothers"). You always have friends here...and an amazing amount of grace.
Colleentinker
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Username: Colleentinker

Post Number: 2327
Registered: 12-2003


Posted on Thursday, July 21, 2005 - 2:45 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Shontay, Melissa is right. God ordains that we be n fellowship, and He provides those we need. He sustains us through each other and through each other's prayers. I'm so grateful to Him!

We are very happy you are with us!

Colleen

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