Post Number: 920
|Posted on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 10:46 pm: || |
Mr. Box from R/S and I have been dialoging, and he has given me permission to share the following with you.
I decided to make my own list along the lines of 'You might be a redneck if.." and apply it to the SDA church. I borrowed 3. The rest are my own creation.
You could even post it on your FA forum and let them know that even committed SDAs can find humor in what they despise and criticize.
You might be a Seventh Day Adventist if...
- There is no decision that was ever made in your church that wasnít decided by a committee first.
- Youíve ever worn hip waders into the lake on Sabbath so you know how far to go before it becomes swimming.
- You wonít eat meat due to the health message but you scarf down every dessert you see at potluck.
- You havenít been so happy since Oreos changed from lard to vegetable shortening.
- Youíve ever bought a $60,000 Lexus but wouldnít even think of wearing a pair of $20 earrings.
- Youíve ever watched an R-rated film at home but wouldnít be caught dead in a movie theatre watching a G-rated film.
- You thought ìUncle Arthurî was one of those absentee relatives you never saw who brought you books.
- There is no money for groceries because it all went to the dozens of fund raising events for the local church school.
- You have ever been tempted to stop the nearest lady wearing pearls on the street and lecture her on the temperance message.
- The slogan ìTravel, and see the worldî means, ìWhenís the next mission trip?î
- The term ëdysfunctional familyí does not apply to your immediate relatives but to the last annual constituency meeting.
- The amount of committees in your church out number the congegration.
- You find a root canal less painful and quicker then the monthly church and school board meetings.
- Your experience at a small church was similar to ìWhoís Line is it Anyway?î
- You canít get through the ìPledge of Allegianceî without it turning into the ìPathfinder Pledgeî by the end.
- You believe 7:00 really means 7:30.
- You never thought your faith had so much in common with another group until you looked at the Amish.
- Youíve ever been put on ësocial holidayí in your 4th year at an Adventist college for holding hands
- You waited for a sign of displeasure from God when a version other than the King James was read in church.
- Youíve ever looked for the angels standing outside the movie theatre when you leave.
- The concept of ìsegregationî is not racial in your mind but explains your experience at an SDA college
- Youíve ever spiritually ìfeltî your name being erased out of the book of life, then written in, then erased out, then written in, then...
- Your church friends across the country found out about you getting accepted at your new job before you did.
- Your idea of acceptable competitive sports is which church can chalk up the most baptisms
- The only time youíve raised your hands in church was to volunteer for something or answer a question
- You canít decide on even the proper way to brush your teeth unless you consult E.G Whiteís writings first.
- You look forward to your crown in heavenÖwith a clock in the forehead, of course.
- Married couples only make whoopee laying down because if they did it standing up, well, that could lead to dancing and that would be a sin...
Post Number: 46
|Posted on Thursday, February 02, 2006 - 4:03 am: || |
LOL,You hit the nail on the head on all of them!
Post Number: 281
|Posted on Thursday, February 02, 2006 - 5:21 am: || |
Grin Brings back alot of memories. Thanks for sharing!
Post Number: 3328
|Posted on Thursday, February 02, 2006 - 4:30 pm: || |
Thank you so much, Belva and Guibox! They are wonderful!
Post Number: 2262
|Posted on Thursday, February 02, 2006 - 4:34 pm: || |
Tell Guibox Thanks for allowing you to share these with us. I can identify with every one of them. Thank God, I no longer have to identify with them when I am following Jesus Christ.
Post Number: 1278
|Posted on Thursday, February 02, 2006 - 8:26 pm: || |
Thanks Belva and Guibox! It would really be great Guibox if you could join us over here on this forum. We promise to treat you a lot better than they do over there at R/S!
Post Number: 127
|Posted on Friday, February 24, 2006 - 3:26 pm: || |
I thoroughly enjoyed reading the list Belva. Please thank Guibox for me. It must have been a pleasant change for him, after exposing himself to the unrelenting abuse of the R/S diehards. I appreciated his voice of moderation the few times I succumbed to viewing that site. Over time however it seemed fruitless to even read that stuff. I do not understand how anybody can feel it is a witness for Christ to engage in futile arguments. I got tense and frustrated just imagining there are still people like that in the Adventist church. They certainly don't portray a brand of Christianity that would draw me into fellowship.
As I recall even Guibox recognized the futility of trying to deal with that bunch.
Belva, if you talk to Guibox let him know that we would be happy to share with him. Recognizing he is a strong SDA apologist, it seems that he understands that there are some theological problems that the church is unwilling to deal with in an honest and just manner.(IJ,Glacier View, Ford,Daniel 8,prophecies,EGW, Education system, treatment of employees) to name a few.
He seemed to present some thoughtful posts on the Spectrum website and might enjoy the fellowship that can be found here.
Again thank-you for the humour,