| Author | Message | ||
| Busymom Registered user Username: Busymom Post Number: 42 Registered: 4-2004 |
It has been a while since I have posted. Last year my older son developed scar tissue on both of his corneas. The doctors didn't agree on why it was happening, just that if it continued it might result in blindness. It was his first year in public school (kindergarten). I had the feeling that it was related to going to the public school. This particular building has been closed twice due to poor air quality. Where my son has dust allergies, and had never had problems with his eyes prior to going there, my gut feeling was it was the school building. At the last minute we decided to send him to the local Adventist school this year. It has radiant heat, excellent ventilation and is kept very clean. My son had 13 sick days in Kindergarten and zero this year at the Adventist school. So my gut feeling about his health was correct. However, changing his school has put me back in contact with all of my old church friends and the pastors. I have had to rethink everything yet again because of questions my son has asked me, and several pleas for me to come back to church. The current pastor has stated that he believes that salvation is through Jesus and not a church. I met with a retired pastor today who offered to talk to me about what he believes. He believes the church has taken EGW much too seriously, and anything she says that doesn't line up with the Bible should be thrown out. He said he has never read anywhere where she states we have to perfect, and asked me to come up with the quotes. I printed up some of her quotes where she mentions perfection and will give him them at some point. Homeschooling is not an option, my son is much too social to even want to try it. The nondenominational school that is an hour away is twice as expensive and really not in the budget. Academically he is thriving at the Adventist school. Any tips from anyone on how to deal with having your child learn a religion you don't believe anymore? | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 2409 Registered: 3-2004  |
Busymom, Read him stories from the Bible and other Christian stories. And pray and pray and pray some more. Tell him about Jesus and that it is only through Jesus that we have salvation. Tell him the truth to what ever he asks. I will be praying for you and your son. God has put you in a place to witness to these people and He will give you the words to say. Father in heaven, Thank you for providing good physical conditions for Busymom's son. You know he is at the SDA school and you know what they are teaching. So let Busymom know how to counter the SDA teachings. I know you love her and her family. Be with her as she deals with the various SDAs that come to her and try to get her back into the church. Give her the words to say. Be with them and hold them in you awesome hands at this time. Diana | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 3623 Registered: 12-2003  |
As he tells you things and asks questions, etc., you can show him from the Bible what the truth is. If Denise, Lindylou, or some others see this, they can explain in more detail how they have handled this very situation. I know Denise specifically show her kids Scripture and talks about what the Bible says in response to the things they learn at school. Colleen | ||
| Cathy2 Registered user Username: Cathy2 Post Number: 94 Registered: 2-2006 |
Busymom, As a fellow mother, I know what you feel and go through, too. We worry so, so much, not only for their common needs and good, but their spiritual needs and *safety*. Sometimes, that the most! I went through a period of intense anxiety over this type of safety, years ago, for my children. It was with me all the time. Later, I was able to let it go, as I learned more of let God be God, and how he faithfully acts. Now that they are older, I see some things in my kids, plus I agree with the other's posts, about reading the Bible to him, telling him about the truth of Jesus, praying with him, for him. All of that *will* do God's work in your son and will *last*, eternally. What *you* do at home, as his mother, will have more influence and effect than any school. Even with teens, if it/they doesn't 'look', sound, act like it, God and his Word are still in there. My children have gone to public school, been homeschooled and have SDA relatives around them, speaking Adventist myths and theological nonsense. *Anywhere* your son is, there can be deception, nowadays. For instance, as homeschoolers, the kids my girls play with are not always Christian and tell them the most absurd things. In public school, once, the music teacher had them singing a song with the lyrics "Let the spirits come into me" (an out and out spiritism song, invoking spirits); and were taught about totem poles with the animistic spirits connected with them (but that wasn't teaching 'religion. Yeah, right. It was teaching pure shamnanism!) If my kids had not been taught at home, first, they would not have caught the deceptions out there, later, and told me about them, so that I could continue to guide them with truth. God always let me know, to keep them 'safe', in all ways. Your son will learn truth from you and discern. Christ the Word is with him and within him. You can trust that without fear or gnawing anxiety. You don't have to be vigilent every second. Ultimately, it doesn't depend on you, especially, alone. He belongs to Jesus and Jesus will guide and act for you both. When you need to do something, the Holy Spirit will let you know and know what to do or say, as well, and even give you the right verses. In SDA middle school, we had some Baptist kids there because we were the only private religious school in town. We kids argued SDA theology with them all the time. We wanted converts to The Adventist Truth for those poor delusioned kids in Babylon. The Baptist kids held on to their beliefs and never did change. (Praise the Lord!) Their Gospel truth stuck (and they probably thought the rest of us were nuts). My 9 y/o comes and tells me the worst of SDA myths from my family, telling her. Like the 7 day cloud trip to heaven and more. But scripture alone has remained with her because she trusts her mother and she trusts Jesus, in what he says in the Bible, *more than she trusts the SDA's*. My 18 y/o son does not believe the SDA's, still, (although they still try hard) because I Cult-proofed him so well, when he was young. Your son will be all right in Jesus, too. Rest your heart and mind in that, him. ~He carries the lambs close to his heart and gently leads those who have young~ Isaiah Christ's peace to you~ Cathy | ||
| Leigh Registered user Username: Leigh Post Number: 79 Registered: 2-2003 |
Hi Busymom, I second all of the above and add: Know what they are studying just like you would if they were studying evolution or other secular world views at public school. Hereís my experience with Adventist Education. The first several years that we homeschooled we used the Adventist curriculum Home Study International. This curriculum is also used in the majority of the Adventists schools. We hadnít been called out of Adventism yet. Through grades 1 and 2, things were fine. When my older daughter started 3rd grade, however, the Lord began revealing to me the problems with Adventism. By the end of the school year, I was having difficulty with many of the church doctrines. The seven day space trip to heaven as Cathy mentioned was one. I would edit some of the Bible lessons because they just didnít sit right with me. One of the turning points came when on one of the Bible tests the question was asked, ìWhat is the blessing of keeping the 10 commandments?î My daughter wrote, ìGoing to Heaven.î I would check over her tests before I sent them in to HSI to be graded. When I came across this answer, I was upset with myself because I thought I had taught her about being saved by grace. We left her answer as it was but we discussed that we are saved by grace. When the tests for that period came back, she got the answer right according to HSI, that the blessing of keeping the 10 commandments is that we go to heaven. At that moment I decided that next year we still continue with HSI , but we wouldnít do the Bible curriculum (we had that option). I still thought that I could be an ìevangelical Adventist.î By the time 4th grade rolled around, I was seriously researching the doctrines of Adventism. In the 4th grade readers there are several stories about EGW. The science texts refer to the health message, the prophet, etc. I didnít realize how saturated the curriculum was with EGW. By the end of the year, the Lord opened up a new door for us. We started attending a homeschool tutorial with a great curriculum. By October of that year, we stopped attending the Adventist church and began attending a great nondenominational church of which we are now members. I tend to be a worrier and worrying about spiritual danger is not exception. (watching 3ABN while visiting family, books given to my children by well meaning relatives, comments made about keeping the Sabbath) I am learning to give this worry to the Lord. One of the things that helps my worrying is to arm myself and them with the armor of God. (Ephesians 6) Memorizing scripture, reading scripture , praying for wisdom, and keeping my eyes focused on Jesus Christ and his fully atoning sacrifice on the Cross. Several weeks ago, I ran into someone I knew from college that I hadnít seen in 20 years. As we talked, we discovered that both us had left Adventism, (10 years ago for her) and had similar struggles and journeys. She told me a very interesting story. A friend of hers (non Adventist, evangelical Christian) sends her child to an Adventist school. I think she said he was in 5th grade. During class something was said about the Sabbath, salvation, etc, to which this boy replied, ìUntil the seventh-day gets up on the cross and dies for my sins, Iíll keep my faith in Christ alone.î In Christ, Leigh | ||
| Leigh Registered user Username: Leigh Post Number: 80 Registered: 2-2003 |
"Grace Based Parenting" by Tim Kimmel is a book that really made me take a serious look at my attempts to provide a "safe" environment for my kids. It was a real eye opener! Here is a quote: "It's true that your child is vulnerable, the world is evil, and Satan is destructive, but there is one other point that trumps all of these concerns. God is mighty! He is powerful. He had the first word ("I am the Alpha"). and He will have the last word ("and I am the Omega")." ...But when we put our confidence in God's power rather than the safety nets we place around our children, we find that even children can learn to rely on God's overwhelming presence to protect them as well as to enable them to flourish in the world system." | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 2182 Registered: 11-2002 |
Seven day cloud trip to heaven?! That's a new one to me. I can only assume it is from EGW and I also assume the words mean just what they imply, that it will take us seven days sitting on a cloud to get to heaven. Wow, that's some really bad science fiction. I sent one on my sons to the SDA school in first, second and part of third grades. He was a very peaceful and gentle little boy and the second grade boys in his school tended to like to really play rough at recess. So he generally played jumprope and hopscotch, etc. with the girls. His teacher called me in and told me she thought he was gay and she wasn't going to let him play with the girls anymore. I told her at age seven there is no gay and no non-gay and she'd better let him play like he wanted and she needed not fret over such things. He's 30 now and he's not gay. He is though a very gentle man with a heaert and soul of gold, a real softie. One other son went to four months at MBA and got expelled. Apparently he was made sexual advances by an adult staff member and he told the person to never come onto him again or he'd tell everyone he knew. Then soon after he came back to his dorm room and his room was vandalized. This same staff person accused my son of vandalism and called me to come get him right then and at midnight on a school night I had to make a several hundred mile drive to go get him because the staff member told me if I didn't comne right then my son would be dropped off at the Greyhound station in Watsonville. I don't think that's legal. He always said he believed someone was put up to vandelizing his room by that certain staff member to get him out of there. All his family believed him fully the entire time. Then several years ago he got a call from someone with a guilty conscience admitting it. Back 40 years ago when I was in SDA school my best friend got expelled because some old bitty caught her smoking in town, not on the school grounds and not on school time but it was determined that SDA students needed to be a wittness at all times for the truth so she was expelled. Later that same school year the associate ministers daughter announced she was pregnant. The school board decided she needed a Christian education more than ever as she was going to have a child to raise so she needed the foundation that a Christian education could give her. She never did have a baby but to even think she might be pregnant implies a violation more than smoking. And, I haven't even gotten into my SDA school horror stories. I will share the worst one. I was 15 at MBA. A girl got very sick and had to be sent home. She died several months later. It was so sad. Her sister came back to school several weeks later and our girls dorm mother had her get up in dorm chapel to tell the girls why her sister passed away. Poor girl, she cried and cried because she wanted private stuff to stay private. Finily she got up and said her sister had died from syphollis. Then the dorm mother gave us a lecture about what happens to bad girls who commit sexual sin. I cried for the girl, I thought that was so mean of the dorm mother. On the other hand, some wonderful friends were made there and I did have a lot of good times, too. But, I still think the bad in SDA schools outweighs the good. | ||
| Dd Registered user Username: Dd Post Number: 653 Registered: 7-2004 |
Hello to one Busy Mom from another  I completely understand your concerns. We have our daughter (8th grade) and our son (4th grade) at Rogers Adventist School here in College Place, WA. In my daughter's Jr. High Bible class (which is only every other quarter yet they have math every quarter...go figure), they rarely open their Bibles. Last year they read "The Great Controversy" and this year they are reading "The Messiah" (which is another name for "Desire of Ages"). My son's Bible is hit and miss as the teacher does not have Bible until the end of the day. Many days they run over in Math and don't even get to Bible. His Bible is a workbook that is just full of SDA doctrines done very subtly from the GC. For awhile I panicked. I was just sure that my kids would be infiltrated. After two years of prayer and Bible study, I am at peace. Their SDA education has done nothing more than instill them in the joy of their freedom in Jesus. I share with them truths from my own personal Bible study. I take every chance I can to relate all the activities and daily happenings of their lives to the grace of God that we have as a free gift. I praise God, actually, for them being in the SDA school. They KNOW what is truth and they KNOW what is darkness! BUT...I believe you cannot just send them off to school. Be in the Bible yourself. You need to know His truths for yourself. Then you need to share and point out truths for them. And... you need to know what they are being taught. I have talked with the teachers and told them where we are in our spiritual journey. They know we have left Adventism. I told them that I do not expect them to understand or agree but that I do expect them to know where my children are coming from. They all have been gracious and kind even though I know they do not agree or understand. When bank tellers are instructed in finding counterfeit money they are not given counterfeit bills to study. They study the real thing! You can't study the false thing to find the real thing! The Real Thing out shines darkness! Busymom, if you would like to talk to me personally about this Colleen has my email address. I would love to discuss this further with you. Denise | ||
| Violet Registered user Username: Violet Post Number: 353 Registered: 2-2001 |
Susan_2 we were taught it would take seven days to get the heaven and we would celebrate sabbath along the way. | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 2184 Registered: 11-2002 |
Dd, I want to warn you that in the ABC brouchure the SDA's have now come out with a childrens edition of The Grest Controversery. Beware. As this might turn into a textbook at the schools for the little kids. I was at my cousins house and it got evening and my cousins husband said it was time for family evening worship. Wouldn't you know it, for worship he read a passagwe for, the Grest Controversery. Just keep on guard for the childrens version of the G.C. | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 3629 Registered: 12-2003 |
You know, one of the things that is helping me surender my worries about my sons to Jesus has been praying Scripture for them. When I pray Scripture, I know I am asking God for things that are His will, and I find that I can let my fears go more easily. Here are three texts I've been praying for my sons: Ephesians 1:17 Ephesians 3:16-19 Ephesians 5:8 (I pray they will live as children of the light.) Colleen | ||
| Patriar Registered user Username: Patriar Post Number: 241 Registered: 3-2005 |
Leigh: I laughed with joy and have tears in my eyes. What a wonderful Truth that that little boy said. ìUntil the seventh-day gets up on the cross and dies for my sins, Iíll keep my faith in Christ alone.î I am so grateful... Patria | ||
| Patriar Registered user Username: Patriar Post Number: 242 Registered: 3-2005 |
Leigh: I laughed with joy and have tears in my eyes. What a wonderful Truth that that little boy said. ìUntil the seventh-day gets up on the cross and dies for my sins, Iíll keep my faith in Christ alone.î Ever grateful... Patria | ||
| Pheeki Registered user Username: Pheeki Post Number: 782 Registered: 1-2003 |
Hey DD. I used to live in College Place. I lived by the rr tracks on the corner of the main drag through town. You can grow anything in that soil up there!!! I have good and bad memories of the year I lived there. | ||
| Busymom Registered user Username: Busymom Post Number: 43 Registered: 4-2004 |
Wow, thank you for all the responses. Diana, thank you for your prayer! Cathy2 you're right about deception being everywhere, even in public school. I like that verse that you quoted from Isaiah. Leigh thank you for sharing your experience. I will look for that book. Susan I am sorry that you had such a bad experience with the schools. There are definitely some positives to having him go to the SDA school. He memorizes a scripture verse every week, including the 23rd Psalm. Because his teacher has him do so much memorizing his reading ability has really increased. Denise I will ask Colleen for your email. Colleen thank you for sharing the texts you pray for your boys. We haven't settled down in a church yet since leaving. Next week we will be attending a Lutheran church that has regular bible study, I think if we can find a church home that would definitely help me feel better about what he is being exposed to during the week. | ||
| Tealeaves Registered user Username: Tealeaves Post Number: 296 Registered: 5-2004 |
I frew up going to public school, and being very involved in mynon-denominational church, and it was a good mix. I learned the Truth, and applied it in school. I got questioned a lot, and my faith was tested by having friends and teachers of all different beliefs, but there was a general feeling of equality, kind of an "each to his own" sort of philosophy that kept me from feeling oppressed, for the most part. Even though we had Satanists, Mormons, New Age, CHristians, Atheists, Wiccans, everyone you could think of going to the same school. Then I went to Walla Walla College. Talk about oppression! I have never felt as oppressed and spiritually frustrated as I felt there. It was like there would be absolutely no respect for anything I said or believed because I wasn't SDA. It was spiritually the hardest few years of my life. So due to my experience, I would have a very hard time putting my kids into an SDA school. I guess I would rather have the school teaching a general non-religious curriculum, while I give spiritual teaching at home, than have my children's school giving confusing religious messages that are just shaded enough to be totally off and yet may sound almost ok. My husband grew up SDA, and though he hasn't been SDA for about 8 years now, he still finds himself having to pick out some "EGW fibers" from the cloth of his beliefs every once in a while. SO for me, sending my kids to an SDA school would be a scary proposition. But every situation has it's own set of circumstances. And if God wants your children there now, for this time, then I pray that He guides you all. Definitely keep storng in the Spirit, stay in God's Word. DOn't let the subtle "see, we are just like you"-game suck you in. Stay strong and aware, our prayers are with you. -tanya- | ||
| Ratthedd Registered user Username: Ratthedd Post Number: 33 Registered: 2-2006 |
Busymom asked "Any tips from anyone on how to deal with having your child learn a religion you don't believe anymore?" When learning a foreign language, it's easier if you already know one. Similarly, when studying religion, it's easier to comprehend certain beliefs if you already have a foundation in religion. There's nothing wrong with having your children learn what it is Adventists believe. When they come home from school talk with them about what they learned in their classes and if what's being taught differs from what you would like them to learn, discuss the significance of the differences and explain why it is that you believe the way you do. I haven't been and Adventist in a very long time, and my wife has started questioning her own reasons for sticking with the church, but we do send our two boys to Adventists schools. To be completely honest, private schools do tend to have better educational practices than public schools, especially in our school district. My oldest son is attending Andrews Academy, the same school where my wife and I met, and he's perfectly happy with his surroundings. Contrary to some of your experiences, it's been my experience (both personally and recently with my son) that the religion classes do teach from the Bible more than from Ellen White. I don't really remember there being a whole lot of emphasis put on Ellen White books back then. Everyone was expected to bring a Bible to class but I don't ever remember buying an Ellen book for any of my classes. Anyway, keep an eye on what your son brings home (just as you would do if he was in any other school) and talk over the things that seem out of place. Erik. |
