| Author | Message | ||
| Honestwitness Registered user Username: Honestwitness Post Number: 58 Registered: 7-2005  |
I have a very dear former SDA friend in her twenties who just divulged to me the other day that she has been diagnosed with anorexia. I looked up anorexia on the Internet and found this link: http://www.umm.edu/altmed/ConsConditions/AnorexiaNervosacc.html First, I noticed perfectionism listed as one of the possible causes of anorexia. "A tendency toward perfectionism, fear of being ridiculed or humiliated, a desire to always be perceived as being "good." A belief that being perfect is necessary in order to be loved. Because perfection is impossible, the inability to attain perfection reinforces the person's sense of being unworthy of being loved. Not eating, according to some experts, is a passive act of revenge directed toward those who will never love the person because of his or her lack of perfection." Then I noticed death listed as a prognosis or complication: "Death (suicide is responsible for 50% of fatalities associated with anorexia)." Now, I'm highly concerned for my young friend. She was raised in a very strict, vegan Adventist home. At the age of ten, she was forced by her mother to go on a cleansing fast, to clean out impurities from her body. Now she says she hates to eat anything, because she perceives all food as being dirty. She used words like "very scary", "horrible" and "very sick" to describe the emotional roller coaster she's been on for the past ten years. Does anyone have any good advice for this situation? I appreciate the loving words I read on this forum more than you can all know. Thank you in advance for your kindness. | ||
| Javagirl Registered user Username: Javagirl Post Number: 198 Registered: 6-2005 |
Honest Witness, Anorexia is a very serious condition. If she has been diagonsed by a professional, I suggest that you support her in following through on treatment recommendations. She must be followed by someone with extensive training in this highly specialized area. Having said that, it sounds like spiritual counseling and support would also be important. SHe has need of spritual healing from the abuse inflicted on her. Im sure someone here can provide scriptural references re food that God has provided for our nourishment. I will pray re this, and especially pray that she has a sense of Gods grace and love for her. Grace is especially powerful for those who have perfectionistic tendencies and legalistic backgrounds. The deeper the ingrained lies about self-perfectionism, the greater the joy of the freedom in Jesus Christ, and His grace. Lori 4excape@bellsouth.net | ||
| Esther Registered user Username: Esther Post Number: 304 Registered: 5-2004 |
Dear Honestwitness, Typically Anorexia is the external manifestation of extreme internal pain. Itís a method of control that a person latches onto when they feel that ìfoodî is the only area of their lives they can control. There are many, many triggers that can launch a person into anorexia, but itís almost never really entirely about the food. Anorexics feel good about themselves by controlling their consumption to the point that their entire sense of self and worth are wrapped up by what they can do ñ which is controlling what they eat. The majority of anorexics develop a severe fear or hatred to food or eating as a result. Anorexia isnít something that can be taken lightly. Even if the anorexic doesnít go so deep as to risk their own death, there are very serious health complications that can show up later in life (even after recovery) due to the lack of nutrition experienced for prolonged periods of time. If an anorexic has confided in you, I am guessing that she is desperately seeking help. Anorexics donít admit, or even know their condition until theyíre desperate. I donít have any formal training in this area. But lived it myselfÖand after my recovery I spent several years working with other girls on campus who were experiencing similar struggles. I worked in a support session run by the counseling service. And also did my Psychology project on Anorexia. She needs you to first and foremost be a trustworthy friend. Donít over react to this news and scare her away. You need to walk a tightrope of being careful and supportive, and yet encouraging her and even pushing her to get professional, Christian counseling. Getting into regular support is the first step. Recovery depends on her and her desire to get better, but will also depend on those who can support and guide her. I should also say that from the dozens of girls who went through our support group, there is a VERY high correlation between rape or childhood abuse and the later development of anorexia. So be very careful to realize that there are big issues at stake here. I donít mean to scare you more, Iíve watched many girls find healing and peace, but itís a long process and takes a lot of support. I donít have time now to outline much more, but you can get my email from Colleen (thanks Colleen) if you want to email me. I would be happy to provide any information I can and will definitely keep your friend in my prayers. Dear Father, this friend and daughter of yours is experiencing such inner pain that she is hurting herself to numb it. I pray that you will draw close to her, fill her with your love and strength. Lay before her the path to health and happiness. Show her that she can be complete in You. I also pray that you will strengthen Honestwitness to be Your representative to this girl. Let your love flow out of her and give her the words to say that will encourage her. We ask this in the name of Jesus ñ who heals us all. And knowing that you hear your children when they ask for bread. Feed this girls body as You feed her soul. Amen. | ||
| Anotherseeker Registered user Username: Anotherseeker Post Number: 57 Registered: 8-2005 |
HONEST WITNESS! Wonder if i could ask what you know about the typical psychological profile of someone with O.C.D and where the problem could stem from? Have you had any exposure to OCD sufferers? | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 3681 Registered: 12-2003  |
Honestwitness, I totally support everything Lori and Esther have said above. I also lived with anorexia in varying intensities and manifestations for probably 15 years or so. At the time I was experiencing it (70s and 80s), it was just beginning to be recognized as a "diagnosis", but few people would have noticed it in a young woman unless she were near death. The most important things that contributed to my getting well were discovering who I was in Christ (absolutely #1!), and having insightful Christian counseling that did not focus primarily on "what happened" or "what was wrong in my background" but on becoming truthful and on bringing Jesus into the pain. Since then I have gotten to know several young women who struggle with eating disordersósome extremely seriousóand I second Esther's observation that in a surprisingly high percentage of cases, there is serious abuse in the person's past. Left untreated, eating disorders can lead to permananetly compromised health or even death. One young woman in her 20s whom I know has permanent kidney damage (stage 3 kidney failure, kidney function at 53%--stable for the last year but subject to progressive worsening if diet and meds aren't carefully managed) as a consequence of a bulemia-anorexia combination disorder. I have come to believe that no eating disorder is really likely to permanently improve unless the patient is willing to know and walk in truth. The Lord Jesus IS the cure for this problem because the real disorder is deep psychological pain and fear. In fact, it was the therapist of the young woman I mentioned above who looked at her (the girl is a Christian and professes Christ) last summer and said, "If you're not ready to commit to memorizing Scripture, you're not ready to get well. Scripture is where the truth is; truth is not in your own thoughts. You have to fill your head with truth in order to get well." Yes, eating disorders are very serious, but the power of Jesus to heal not only our bodies but our psyches and our warped thinking is more powerful than the underlying pain. Just FYI, however--people with persistent and serious eating disorders can be highly manipulative and can cleverly avoid being accountable and facing reality. They need professional help. You can "hold their feet to the fire" in terms of setting limits and reminding them of what they're supposed to be doing, but you cannot BE their therpist. Colleen |
