| Author | Message | ||
| Bobbylog Registered user Username: Bobbylog Post Number: 3 Registered: 6-2006 |
Hello all, I am dealing with a particular situation here ...I am former adventist who has difficulity breaking off completely with the church ...Eventhough I don't believe in the sabbath observance anymore (but still struggling sometimes with it)...I have a girlfriend who is not an adventist and who will refuse to become so and who loves me so much, we have planned to get married soon ..My instability situation as a former member of the group , prevent from making any serious commitment with her ...I love her so much too ..and I don't want to lose her ... She is the most caring person I have ever met ..But, I am wondering if I am so spiritually unstable, how serious can the relation go for the future ... This is not gonna work for me and my girlfriend, I think, if I have to struggle with church thing ... And this is the most painful thing in the world to break a relationship because of a spiritual or religious thing ... I am hesitating on making any serious decisions about our lives... when I feel good, I say yes, and when I feel bad , I can't give a firm answer ... It's like my life is becoming a real mess ...I am struggling with depression and sensation of fear and isolation ...I would like to find a way out to get my life to normal again and save my relationship with my girlfriend that I love so much ... Can any of you give me any advice on the issue , I am facing ...? How do you think I can deal with the situation ... Also, she didn't know I am dealing with such struggles, as she didn't if I am a former adventist (involved in the movement for one year and a half and have not been an active memeber) ... what are your advices ...? | ||
| Lynne Registered user Username: Lynne Post Number: 451 Registered: 10-2005 |
I wasn't born into the church either. I went many years not going to church, but believing in the Sabbath. It sounds to me like you are associating your spritual well being, comfort and relationships with your church association and religious teachings. No Adventist church, no salvation. That is depressing. I felt that way for many years. It hurts. I no longer keep that secret now that the world doesn't have - that I must quietly proclaim the Sabbath because the world doesn't get it. No! I proclaim Jesus only as my Saviour! He has set me free. Hebrews 9:15 And as I've learned in this forum, God and the Holy Spirit don't exist out there somewhere. He indwells in me, so I no longer feel isolated. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit - 3 in 1. Here is a great link that discusses the indwelling of the Holy Spirit: http://www.intouch.org/myintouch/exploring/bible_says/Holy_Spirit/indwelling_152760.html There is also some great information about Adventism here, from a former Seventh-day Adventist pastor who has continued to be a minister: www.sdaoutreach.org I've learned, I cannot have good relationships with people without a good relationship with God. I'm always working on that. Are you openly communicating with your girlfriend about your concerns about religion? Is she Christian? Does she know what the Adventist church teaches? Perhaps you don't want her to know what the Adventists teach? Open communication may sound risky to you now, but if you are planning on getting married, open communication is a good place to start. Open communication is one of the biggest blots of glue you will need to retain a happy and healthy relationship in marriage over the years. Without open communication in a marriage, your marriage will lack adhesive. Jesus alone is my salvation. His sacrifice is enough. Romans 10:9-10 - John 19:30. NOT, if I believe in the Sabbath day, or keep the Sabbath day, that I will be saved. I now give all of my worrys and fears to Him. I do worry, I do fear, but I'm no longer overwhelmed. I have peace. I will pray for you. Lynne | ||
| Violet Registered user Username: Violet Post Number: 416 Registered: 2-2001 |
Marriage is about bringing two lives together and making one. While it may be difficult both of you need to be honest about your spiritual being. It sounds like right now you are reacting our of fear "I don't want to lose her" instead of love- I want to share every part of me with her for the rest of my life. I know you have heard this before but here goes. True love waits. Work through your feelings with her instead of behind her back. If she is the wonderful woman you think she is, she will admire you for trusting her enough to show her your inner most thoughts and fears. Then when both of you have come to an agreement on your spiritual road then you have a foundation to build a future. You will have a solid base to raise children. Trust me you do not want to be on opposite sides of the fence when it comes to religion and raising children. When one parent does not go to church or they go to different churches the children suffer. Foremost pray, put this at the feet of Jesus and He will give you peace in the way you should go. Best wishes V | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 4186 Registered: 12-2003  |
Bobby, I completely agree with the advice above. Be honest with your girlfriend, and if you are in deep indecision about your church affiliation and your spiritual condition, that is the issueónot marriageóthat you need to deal with first. Do you spend regular time readng the Bible every day? I suggest that you begin regular devotional times where you systematically read through whole books of the Bible over a period of days or weeks. Ask God to teach you with His Spirit as you read, and ask Him to direct you to what He wants you to read. My suggestion is that you begin with Galatians. It's short, and it clearly explains the new covenant. Then read the epistle of John. Here's the second part of my suggestion: journal Scripture as you read. Literally copy out one verse at a time, praying and allowing God to teach you through His word as you contemplate the words. Don't do a whole lot every day; a couple of verses of copying a day (you might want to read more...) are enough. But allow God to teach you through His Word. The reality of Jesus and of the eternal truth of His completed work on the cross will slowly permeate your heart, and your course of action will become increasingly clear. Don't hesitate to ask us questions! Glad you're here... Colleen | ||
| Cathy2 Registered user Username: Cathy2 Post Number: 156 Registered: 2-2006 |
Bobby, I echo the posts above, especially, Violet's. Don't be hasty, pray. Read scripture, asking for for the Holy Spirit's wisdom. If she is mature and loves you, she will be patient, pray for you and have mercy and grace for you, as a wife should, anyway. She will understand that it isn't easy for men to share feelings and accept you where you are at and how you are, in your timing (and God's). Not create a fuss because things were not what she imagined them to be. Of course, your love will patient, gentle and cherishing with her, too. (Ephesians 5) Many people go through depression and anxiety, when they leave Adventism. I would be in prayer about this fro yourself (and ask your girl to pray for you), even more so, becasaue there is a spiritual element--sort of bondage to clear out--involved, as well. Is there anyone in your life you can talk to about it, pray for you, and release those feelings, thoughts, getting an objective view? Instead of them bouncing around in one's own head, over & over, alone and isolated, you know. (I've been through that. Talking is releasing. So is praying) One day at a time, Bobby, rest (emotionally, mentally, in all ways) in Jesus, the true Sabbath. Prayers for you and your special girl~ Cathy choosier1@msn.com | ||
| Bobbylog Registered user Username: Bobbylog Post Number: 4 Registered: 6-2006 |
I would really like to address great thanks to you for all your good advices, you really make me feel good ..I really find it very comfortable to hear your good opinion on that..I think I will approach the question the you all proposed with my gf and let you know about th results ...  many thanks ..!! Bobby .. |
