| Author | Message | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 2255 Registered: 11-2002 |
I am emotionally very down. My son and I are homeless in honolulu living in our car. Thankfully we have easy access to private showers and the library, etc. on the military base but we can't park the car on the base and sleep here. I did get a job and my son will most likly be working soon. I can't go back to california because the crews are doing major work on the house due to mold in the walls and besides I came out here with the conviction of helping my youngest son get on his own-get an apartment and get on with being a grown-up. He's lived in Hawaii several times before and always does very well out here, unlike in california where he ends up getting in trouble. At the same time I had planned to help my youngest son get started into adulthood I had intended to assist my dil with the children while my oldest son is out to sea. Unfortunatelly I had to choose making the 20 year homeless alone or being homeless with him. I chose to be homeless with him. I have left messages and have written letters to my oldest asking to please let me stay involved with my grandchildren. I have not heard from him since July 09. I called his cheif and he lied to the cheif about how come we can't have anything to do with his family. Bold, flat-out lied. Fot three years I gave my attention and love and built a strong loving bond with his children and now that I'm not needed anymore I'm tossed out to be homeless. I have pleeded with my son to let me meet with the kids at a nutral setting once per week to play with them for several hours, Chuckie Cheeze, the zoo, a park, the beach, etc. He does not return my calls or letters. Besides all this I think those children are very neglected and when I am with them I make sure they get the emotional and mental stimulation they so desperately need. I may have to follow-up with annonamus phone calls to the doctor and social services about this because it is a very serious situtation. they are nearly 3 1/2 years old and still in diapers and cannot talk, don't know concepts or colors, go for weeks at a time with one or both parents gone and the boy was recommended for physical therapy because he is very week and the parents are refusing the help for the child. Every person I have ever known has gone through very hard times. Some with money, some with deaths, illnesses and other sorrows. But, it happens to everyone. I think of Princess Diana and in all her splender she still suffered. Please, pray for all these sadness I have brought before you. thanks. If you want to write to me you can get my last name from Colleen and send the letter or card to me at General Delivery, Honolulu, Hawaii 96820. I so miss my grandchildren. I came out here to be with them and now I can't. | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 2700 Registered: 3-2004  |
Dear Susan, You know you are in our prayers every day. I know God is holding you and your family in his arms right now. God bless my dear friend. Diana | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 4383 Registered: 12-2003  |
Dear Susan, God knows your plight and also that of your children and grandchildren. You and they are in my prayers as well. I pray that He will meet your needs and give you strength, courage, and wisdom to know and do His will. With love, Colleen | ||
| Melissa Registered user Username: Melissa Post Number: 1431 Registered: 7-2003 |
Susan, I am also really down these days and life IS just plain hard sometimes. I can empathize and feel your pain. Personally, my prayers these days are hardly intelligible, but I know scripture promises that the Holy Spirit will take over when I can't. So, I trust that He understands where you are too. I wish I could take the word 'why' out of my vocabulary, as that is what I spend a lot of time asking....why. But even when I understand 'why' in part, it still doesn't explain why on the whole. The silence of a loved one is incredibly painful, but I can only realize it is their own guilt and nothing you have done. Those seem like pretty empty words when you're heart is dragging 'round behind you on the ground, but we all suffer consequences of other people's sin. Sometimes it is worse than others. Hang in there. | ||
| Mwh Registered user Username: Mwh Post Number: 110 Registered: 4-2006  |
I'm praying as well, may God be with you and comfort you. May the children not be alone and neglected but being taken care of and receiving the love that they need. God does care for us and his promise will be met. | ||
| Jwd Registered user Username: Jwd Post Number: 228 Registered: 4-2005  |
Dear Susan and Melissa, The details are not important. Just let me say that I am "well acquainted" with emotional and physical pain. My words are not important without God's grace and Spirit to prompt and guide them. I pray our divine Counsellor, the Holy Spirit, will give your mind just the thoughts you need to dwell upon and the assurance, peace, confidence and courage to "know" as Colleen said, "God knows!" Focus on that. Seriously....just digest those two words. Then ask, "If God knows, what else is needed?" Objectively we know the answer is "absolutely nothing!" So begin by using those words as a mantra for the time being. "God knows! God knows!" Our humanity cannot help but press the Why? question. FATHER remembers we are human and His children. Don't feel guilty about asking a normal, human-reactive question. We all do it. I would simply suggest to try not to dwell long on that question. Take a forced step in faith. Oh boy! Here he goes with more spiritual cliches. Well hold on a minute, please. Gambling on being mis-understood over semantics here....let me ask, when is it (practically) impossible to exercise faith? Stop reading and just think about that question. Try to answer it. Isn't it (practically) impossible to exercise faith when life is a bowl of cherries for you? When everything is "coming up roses"? When it sure feels like you are God's favorite child upon whom He is pouring out only blessings non-stop? When every day is filled with sunshine and butterflies and cool breezes? Who needs faith on such days; during those high times when everything seems to be going perfectly for us? Give me plenty of leaway (sp?) here: who needs to exercise when they are in perfect health with strong muscles and limber joints and feeling "Grrrrrrreat!"? No, my point - - if you haven't already run ahead of me and grabbed it - - is that the time we need to exercise faith is when we don't feel well, when we're weak, failing, sick, heart-sick, afraid, discouraged, depressed; or when everything "seems" to be,.... "feels" like it is going WRONG! These are the times when faith is called for. I know, I know. I too wish God had not worked out this aspect of the Christian Way the way he did, but He did and we're stuck with it. I don't post on this forum sometimes just because I'm sure most will say, "Oh no! Not again! There he goes on that same sing-song theme. I'm tired of hearing it." But this one fits here in a most appropriate time. I'm referring to Rom 8:28 ....but don't stop reading there, it's important to read to the end of that chapter and then include the first words of chapter 9, which says in the NIV, "I speak the truth in Christ - I am not lying...." Now I'm sure we could all agree that being homeless and suffering family relation problems - which I know only too well - isn't among the good things God has in mind here in verse 28. Right? What possible good could there ever be in such misery and sadness and awful situations? I'd say none! But God did inspire Paul to write the word "all". Tell me, what is left out of "all?" If I ate all the cake, how much is left? If I drove all the way to Arizona, how much distance remains for me to travel still? No Rom 8:28 says "all things". But it's just not that everything that happens to us is good. It says NIV - "in all things God works for the good of those who love him,......WHO HAVE BEEN CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE." Everything that happens to the elect...we're definitely talking about the "called ones".....the sheep who have responded to Jesus call to come unto Him. For these, everything.....ALL THINGS......no matter WHAT THEY ARE!!! ..... they all "work together" to meet the will of the Father, Who is....remember, "all wisdom, all power, all knowing, everywhere present at the same time." And Paul says "we," the called ones, "KNOW" this truth. Now in just knowing this and re-thinking and recollecting this truth.....doesn't THAT alone give you some hope? Take away some of the fear and anxiety? "God knows!" You don't have to even tell Him about your situation. He ALREADY knows. He knew this exact situation before you were even conceived! Before our world was created! You CAN'T SUPRISE FATHER! NOTHING catches Him off guard. We never hear FATHER saying, "Oops!" Another truth of Scripture is that God's people will suffer. Ps 34:19 says just not a few trials but "MANY are the afflictions of the righteous.....BUT.." Oh thank God for the But's in Scripture. One of the most glorious "But's" in Scripture to me is in Rom 3:21 .... that "But now.....!" WOW! Our entire salvation hinges on that "But now." So in Ps. 34:19 David, writing under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, remember.....adds, "BUT." Don't stop with the Why's? Don't ask Job to move over so you can scoot in beside him in the pile of ashes. Don't sing "Amen's" over the truth that "many are the afflictions of the righteous." But go on......pick up a 10 pound dumbbell of faith and pump iron and shout back to doubt and fear and misery: "BUT (my) Lord delivers (me) them out of them all." Ah hah! Look at that "ALL" word! Not only do all things work together for the good God has in mind in his mysterious (I admit He is the Great Mysterious) ways......but He also DELIVERS His children OUT OF "all" the afflictions! All of them! Your deliverance is already a FACT, a REALITY with God. It's just in the last act of this particular play you are acting in. This act won't last forever. The DIRECTOR is in charge here, not the actors (you and me). We didn't write the script. We're not producing this play. We're just acting our part in this great drama. And many are watching you, or will observe how you act your part. Your reaction to these events raining down on you. You can't see them, but they are present in the darkness. They're out there, watching you. One might even be your own son! Ever think of that? (smile) Again, I wish God had framed a different plan. One that would be easier for me. But the Great Mysterious has chosen His way to be our WAY, and Acts 14:22 says "Through many tribulations WE MUST enter the kingdom of heaven." Peter says, "Don't be surprised when fiery ordeals come upon you, as though this is some strange thing happening to you. It's been allowed "for your testing." 1 Pe 4:12 (my paraphrase). Suffering is not strange. It's to be expected for the followers of Jesus. We'll even be persecuted, and I'll admit that very possibly some painful family relationships can qualify as persecution. 2 Tim 3:12. I'm going to close with a text that should give you a good headache as you ponder it's depth. Phil 1:29. "To you it has been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake." I know, I'm stretching the textual meaning, but I hope the Lord forgives me for sloppy exegesis...far off the mark here......but I personally think the principle of suffering, although not for our faith as a missionary in prison or a martyr,but suffering we all endure, I think can fit here a little bit anyway. I beg your indulgence. The word "granted" (echaristhe) means "graciously given." FATHER "graciously" allows us to suffer. Sounds weird doesn't it? I want to say, "Thanks FATHER, but I wish you'd not be SO gracious...at least right now!" Many of us have a ton of dross to be burned off, scrapped off, sanded off, cut off, in this process of aiming toward holiness to honor God and bring glory to Christ through our life and how we REACT to our times of suffering. But when you KNOW that your future is in the hands of THE ALL-Powerful, ALL-knowing, ALL-wise FATHER who promises to work ALL THINGS for your good according to HIS purpose; then you are free to take any risk love demands - - no matter the cost. Jesus prayed for Peter that his faith not fail him during the trial and test ahead. I will pray that your faith fail not. You are not really homeless. You have a mansion being built by the greatest Contractor in the Universe, His Majesty, King Jesus. Thank God you have a car, Susan! Thank God you are going through this trial,in Hawaii. I'm not trying to minimize your trauma or be trite. But you and your son are not alone in that car at night. Angels surround you. They're camping out right there with you. Say "good night" to them. They ARE THERE! And ..... as Colleen said, "God KNOWS!" And you and I know.....what? Read it again in Rom 8:28-39. Nothing......NO THING....can separate you from FATHER'S love. I pray you will mentally do your best to focus on being aware, sensitively aware of everything going on during this trial period......looking for subtle lessons FATHER may want you to learn, that could possibly never be learned in any other way. Wow! What a powerful testimony of joy and God's mercy, protection, wisdom and guidiance AND faithfulness (all promises are YES in Jesus remember).....and someday you will be a great blessing to someone else going through a similar affliction. Give glory to God. EXERCISE your faith, even though it makes you sweat,and your spiritual muscles ache. Pump the iron of faith! The rest of us are here cheering you on and counting the reps, for you, by our prayers! FATHER knows! If you love and trust FATHER, your fears will fade like morning fog burned off by the Son of Righteousness. I'll close by leaving you with Num 6:24-26. You ARE blesssed. Soon you will realize it. Have faith in God. Now get off line and start pumping the iron of faith! Go on! Get going!!!! We love you in Jesus, Jess | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 4393 Registered: 12-2003 |
Jess, thank you for encouraging us all to keep walking by faith in the God who cannot fail!! It's always good to "hear" from you. Colleen | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 2259 Registered: 11-2002 |
To all of you, thanks for the input. Melissa, I will keep your needs in my prayers. Today I will pray for the right words to come from me and I will write my son a heartfelt letter. | ||
| Randyg Registered user Username: Randyg Post Number: 232 Registered: 12-2004 |
Susan and Melissa, you are in my prayers. Jess, once again your words of encouragement are like a Salve for the Soul. I have, and continue to appreciate your thoughtful comments. Thank-you for pointing to Jesus. Randy | ||
| Cathy2 Registered user Username: Cathy2 Post Number: 177 Registered: 2-2006 |
Dear Susan, My heart and prayers truly go out to you and I wish so much I were closer so that I could help you in a practical way. Please email me, so that if there is anyway I can help, you could let me know. I will be brief for an example only (not to compare; only share). My girls are in an atrocious situation at their father's house with his girlfriend, for the past 3 weeks (but will be home on Monday, thanks to the Lord's provision through my mother), and I have agonized. but, at the end of the day, it has made them pray more (they are ages 16 & 10) (and me too) and I know--just know-- that there is a purpose in this for all of thier lives--they will know and trust God/Christ better and closer because of this, now, and for all of thier lives. They will be stronger in the Lord. Trials make us run to our Lord.There is no other reason that hard things happen or why God allows evil to happen to good people (besides witnessing to the Lord Jesus or for molding/growing us up in our character). We run home to where we are beloved. It might not feel like it right now, but, later, we know...we will know. I believe this for your situation, as well. Miracles may even happen in hearts. I will pray for that, as well as for you to be able to see your grandchildren (and your immediate, practical needs). It is hard, right now, but it will be better later. Christ knows your needs, tears, efforts, fears; hears your pleas and cries; even your heart needs, as a mother and grandmother. You will see and understand more, later, and be closer than ever to him, and joy will return in Him (not all circumstances, but Him, where bliss be). That might not be a comfort much, right now (I do understant that!), but it is a truth. Reading 2 Corinthians 4 and 1 Peter and Psalms might help. Or wherever the Holy Spirit leads you to read, after asking him to lead you in scripture. Oh Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on Susan, your beloved daughter. Love your sister in Christ, Cathy choosier1@msn.com | ||
| Jwd Registered user Username: Jwd Post Number: 229 Registered: 4-2005 |
Thanks Randy. God bless you. Cathy, I will be praying for you as well. It's so true, trials do make us run to the Lord as you said; but don't they also keep us there and add a ton of earnestness to our prayers? I have always wondered if this is part of God's plans for these trials and heart aches in life; to get us to come to Him more often and spend more time with Him. Trials sure make us want His attention, and keep us holding onto his garment, begging for His attention, grace, healing, power, and mercy. Bonnie and I have a dreadful situation with one of our daughters. It keeps me praying even at night when I wake - - often! In a very human, childish fashion, I picture Jesus and the FATHER saying, to us, when we come and beg for His intervention, "This is good. This is where I want you to be all the time; not running back out to play, but sitting here like Mary of old." May God bless you all with the realization of His knowing and providential purpose being worked out in your life and for you; and may this painful time soon come to an end. Jess | ||
| Melissa Registered user Username: Melissa Post Number: 1433 Registered: 7-2003 |
Cathy, your faith is incredible...I still just pace like I don't now where I'm going without my little one home. I just don't seem to have any direction and the Lord just seems soooooo silent. I hope to get where you are some day. I pray and scream and cry and even sit silently hoping to hear anything!!!, but the silence is deafening. It seems it will never end..... | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 2262 Registered: 11-2002 |
Cathy and Jess, Thank you for sharing your concerns. To add insult to injury my mother informed me that the son was sent out to Japan yesterday. My mom had told him to call and let me know he was leaving. He did not call. This is the same son who around eight years ago told me if I had anything more to do with my second son then he would have nothing further to do with me. Well, over the years he got over his issues with the second son but apparently he is now pulling the same thing with my youngest son. I have left several more messages on his and his wifes phone to please let me stay involved with their children. I feel for the past three years I was used as nothing more than a free babysitter at their beck and call. I don't resent the time with the children. It was wonderful. I do resent that now that they don't need my services they don't want anything to do with me. Cathy, I tried to e-mail you and I couldn't figure out how. So, you e-mail me and then maybe I can figure it out. Send to: nikkyandalondra@yahoo.com | ||
| Cathy2 Registered user Username: Cathy2 Post Number: 178 Registered: 2-2006 |
Dear Dear Melissa, I don't know that my faith is that much; I have prayed that God help my faith this year and increase it. I know of that silence, too. I scream (at God, too), cry and wander aimlessly, too. I lie in bed and pray. Sometimes, I sit and talk to my bird in this empty house. The bird likes it. I do believe what I wrote, though, because I have seen the truth of it, in the past. I am 44, with almost 20 years with my children, and some very hard times with them; the 4 of us. You have a young one; when mine were young like yours, they went through a horrendous trauma. I was like you are and a single mother. God carried us through, I saw, eventually. He will for you and your son, too. I made mistakes even after that--oh God did I make mistakes! (and I hated myself for them until I knew his grace)--but, again, he was always with us and still guiding me. Grace.For us parents, he makes up the difference becasue we are only fallible humans. He knows (more than we do), he cares. ~He carries the lambs close to his heart and gently leads those who have young~ Isaiah (My mother's verse) Mostly, it is 1/2 or 9x out of 10 in hindsight where we see how and when God was there for and with us, not while trials are going on.It is when the storm passes and the SON comes back out (to our perception) and we can see clearly, again. Sometimes--sometimes--we know why things happen, but we are not promised to know why, all the time. We are only promised that he will not abandon us, even when we cannot feel him nor hear him. We are promised that he hears us. Psalms speaks to this. I have parked out in Psalms a good part of my life, relating to it and praying it! Prayer is powerful. Keep your son surrounded in a cloud of prayer. Remeber his guardian angel. Ask the Holy Spirit to speak to your son and seal his mind agaisnt anything harmful.I am seeing and hearing results after I have asked for everyone I know to pray for my girls; and have increased my prayers and time in specific prayer for them. My prayers and mother's heart are with you, Melissa. Love your sister in Christ, Cathy *************** Jess, I will pray for your daughter. So many of us parents, these days, are having troubles--even in illnesses or spiritual battles, too--with our children. I don't, personally, know any parent who does not with, at least, one child, in some way. But all our children belong to Christ becasue of our faith, at least; members of the Royal Household of the Living God. And no ungodly power either of this earth nor of the dominion of the air can have them. Their stories are not finished, yet, and we may see mighty things from God in their lives. Keep your faith, hope and love. I have begged God, yes, then I recall that we can come boldly into his throne room, so I do; for my children. Deliver our children from evil and bring them to more and more of a heart knowlege with Jesus Christ, forever~ Cathy | ||
| Melissa Registered user Username: Melissa Post Number: 1435 Registered: 7-2003 |
Thanks, Cathy. That was encouraging. Melissa | ||
| Honestwitness Registered user Username: Honestwitness Post Number: 102 Registered: 7-2005  |
Melissa, I'm praying for you now. I've known a similar ache over my children. My oldest was molested when he was five years old by my ex-husband. I didn't find out about it until he was nine. I found out about a year ago that my second son was also molested when he was 13. They're both in their thirties now. At my lowest times, it has helped me to remember that the Lord will restore all the years the cankerworm has eaten away. Nothing is so comforting to me as promises from the Bible. I also like to remember that the effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man/woman availeth much. During this time when your little one is away, you've got a golden opportunity to interceed for him in a way you couldn't, if he was with you. Hopefully it helps to know we're all praying with you. Honestwitness | ||
| Honestwitness Registered user Username: Honestwitness Post Number: 103 Registered: 7-2005 |
Susan, I'm praying for you now, too. It has always helped me to remember that my children are not really mine, but they belong to God. He only lends them to me for a time. But I do have an influence over them like no one else has. What an awesome responsibility. I am praying for you too that your letter will have the very best possible words to reach out to your son in grace and love. And I'm praying the Lord will soften your son's heart to receive the grace and love, knowing they come from God through his mother. Honestwitness | ||
| Melissa Registered user Username: Melissa Post Number: 1436 Registered: 7-2003 |
Yes, knowing people are surrounding my family with prayer is the only hope I have these days. It's truly in God's hands...but I know what God allows sometimes.....I don't know how much more I can take... | ||
| Jwd Registered user Username: Jwd Post Number: 232 Registered: 4-2005 |
My very temperament is such that I have always leaned toward depending upoon "feelings" as my berometor of spiritual status with God. I still battle with that. The hardest times is when it "feels" as if we are praying in a lead-lined room, that God not only doesn't hear, isn't listening, but has turned His back and walked away. These are times when intense Bible study helps guide me by objective truth and being reminded that all God's promises are Yes in Jesus. It helps to remind myself that if my father told me that we were going to have to go through a long tunnel of utter darkness, where I would not hear his voice or be able to feel his hand or his presence beside me, and he would ask me, "Do you trust me?" He would affirm his love for me. And he would ask me to remember his words before we entered the dark tunnel - - that he would be right there with me all the way through, and that this was to test my faith in him, my belief in him; that I should not fear, no matter how many scarry sounds I heard, or even when I tripped and fell, but to focus on his parting words, "I will NEVER leave you nor forsake you." And so whenever the dark tunnel time comes, I could focus on his last words when he pulled his hand away and I was left in the darkness....I would repeat his words, his promise. I would trust him for I knew he was totally trustworthy and I knew he loved me eternally. Everytime I would think of that promise, I would be energized with courage and the inner realization that He was beside me, "closer than breathing, nearer than hands and feet." Sometimes mental visuals like that helps. God IS in the silence. His message is: 1) Trust in that which you cannot see, and 2) Listen to the Silence. God IS there. Your faith IS being tested. OUR faith is being tested, each in unique ways based upon our history, our temperaments and personalities, our weaknesses and our strengths. We are being purged and purified to glorify Him more and more consistently. Study the gospel. Focus upon digesting more and more deep lessons of justification by faith alone. Keep that word "alone" in mind.....it was a crucial point of intensity during the Reformation. It is all by faith alone....but a faith which God Himself gave us. It is ALL of God, through Jesus Christ. Focus, focus, focus. It is our humanity and emotions who scream out to God. Oh I have done it, believe you me! But faith silently goes about our daily duties, praising God, breathing in prayer and breathing out prayer, and knowing "this too shall pass." God bless you all in Jesus, Jess | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 2704 Registered: 3-2004 |
Susan, Melissa, Honestwitness, What I have learned in my short life, especially when I feel God is not answering me, is that He is carrying me and I cannot feel His arms around me. He promises He will never leave us. He is awesome. Diana |
