| Author | Message | ||
| Jerry Registered user Username: Jerry Post Number: 496 Registered: 6-2002 |
Hereís another list from a different perspective. These come from personal experience. . . . your intended told you that she/he was really not interested in attending ANY church since she/he had been ìtreated badlyî and does not see any denomination that is any better. . . HOWEVER, about one or two years into the marriage, joins the nearest SDA church and quickly becomes an elder. . . . your spouse tells you that she/he wonít mind if you donít join, but insists that you attend EVERY Sabbath or else you must NOT LOVE her/him and must HATE her/his friends. . . . your spouse volunteers your house as a site for a ìrevelation seminarî even though the SDA church building is closer to more attendees and is hardly used outside of Sabbath day. . . . your kitchen becomes more and more full of Worthington and Morning Star products. . . . you gradually see more and more Pacific Press published literature laying around the places you tend to be when you are home. . . . your spouse vehemently denies that the main SDA service promotes the writings of EGW and denies that the ìClear Wordî is anything remotely like a Bible. . . . your spouse seems to be deeply personally insulted when you even gently question IJ, any unscriptural Sabbath belief, soul sleep, etc. . . . your spouse starts to recite all the standard trash talk about Canright, Ford, and others. . . . your spouse is a musician and gets a full time job at a ìSunday churchî and refuses to agree that your faithful attendance of THAT church counts ìbecause it is his/her work and you hardly see each otherî even though he/she does just as much or more at the SDA church. Those and many more. Anyone else? | ||
| Randyg Registered user Username: Randyg Post Number: 250 Registered: 12-2004 |
I am sorry for your situation,Jerry. Even in my situation where my wife continues to attend the Adventist church while I attend a Baptist church. Even when we respect each others choices and are supportive of each others journey, there are times when the stresses of not sharing this intimate worship time together can cause distance and frustration. I can only pray that your situation can become more amicable and cordial. I will keep you in my prayers, | ||
| Jerry Registered user Username: Jerry Post Number: 497 Registered: 6-2002 |
Sadly, what I described is in the past. | ||
| Jerry Registered user Username: Jerry Post Number: 498 Registered: 6-2002 |
A few more. . . . your spouse becomes more and more obsessed with keeping his/her ìlower digestive tractî clean. . . . your spouse displays surprising hostility toward mustard and pepper. . . . when you get a particularly severe headache, you quickly notice your spouse applying freezing then blistering hot damp washcloths to your forehead. . . . when your octogenarian widow of a non-SDA pastor mother stays at your house for a few months, the mood changes drastically for the worse when your mother declines to go to the SDA church and requests help to attend a closer church of your late fatherís denomination. . . . when you attend your spouseís SDA church, you are slathered with melodramatically enthusiastic greetings. However, everyone melts away when you make it clear (in answer to their persistent questions) that you wonít ever be joining the SDA church. . . . anytime you attend a funeral at your spouseís church, there is an impassioned recitation of Ecclesiastes 9:5 . . . while attending your spouse's SDA church, you start to notice more and more quotes that sound like the KJV Bible, but no citation is mentioned and you cannot find the verse in any computerized Bible search of any version. (Message edited by Jerry on September 10, 2006) | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 2356 Registered: 11-2002 |
Dear Jerry, If what you are lamenting is from personal experience then all I can say is please hang in there as I am sure the situtation is very difficult for you. I can add another one. It is: you have been told SDA's acknowledge the clean meats are o.k. for human consumption but at the same time they not only insist on being vegetarians themselves but get very pushy with family member to give up meat, always saying it's because they care so much about their family members health, while at the same time they scarf down the deserts and other sugar and artificial color and flavor loaded goodies (think Little debbie snack cakes). | ||
| Jerry Registered user Username: Jerry Post Number: 499 Registered: 6-2002 |
Everything I have listed here has been experienced (not just observed) by me. Fortunately, I no longer have these sorts of things in my life. As I look at these things now, I am somewhat amused and otherwise sad. Not sad for myself, but for those loveable people who did not see the moral paradoxes in these situations. I don't think anyone thought they were being duplicitous or cognitively dissonant. I doubt they could see the irony in these situations. From a Sabbath with virtually no rest to a health message that brought health problems, it was interesting to note that my skepticism grew the more I studied the situation and my relief grew with my distance from the situation. It was like living in Alice's looking glass. | ||
| Grace_alone Registered user Username: Grace_alone Post Number: 184 Registered: 6-2006  |
"From a Sabbath with virtually no rest to a health message that brought health problems" Interesting observation Jerry - and so true. My SDA in-laws all suffer from obesity, high blood pressure and diabetes. (Part of that comes from owning a bakery). As far as the Sabbath goes, the times I have spent the day with them has been a day of griping, complaining and whining about how awful the service was that day. I'll take freedom in Christ thank you!  I hope you've found happier days. Leigh Anne | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 4589 Registered: 12-2003  |
Jerry, it's always good to have you back here. I'm glad that you are experiencing some sense of relief. I'm sorry for what you've been going through. You're always welcome hereóyour observations are always incisive. Colleen | ||
| Jorgfe Registered user Username: Jorgfe Post Number: 265 Registered: 11-2005 |
Randyg -- I can really relate to what you said. Gilbert Jorgensen |
