| Author | Message | ||
| U2bsda Registered user Username: U2bsda Post Number: 159 Registered: 11-2004 |
Many of us here grew up in the Adventist culture. Do you miss any aspects of that? I'm not talking about missing anything theologically, but culturally. Believe it or not I miss the potlucks. Potlucks I've been to in other churches just didn't fit the bill to me. Also, SDAs seem to have a great set-up for kids as far as far as the Sabbath School programs, schools, Pathfinders, etc. Other churches I have been to do not seem to have as great of focus on the kids in the church. I've seen some Sunday School classes that were more like babysitting than anything else. It was also nice to be able to go to a church on the other side of the country and meet someone who knows someone I know. Hey, I have probably met some of you here in person and don't even know it! Okay, that's all I can think of  | ||
| Jdpascal Registered user Username: Jdpascal Post Number: 21 Registered: 10-2003 |
There are some sda things that are now empty spots in my life but right now I am feeling regret and resentment for the extent that SDA church activities occupied my time where I could have better used it for family time without the guilt. If I could go back now, I would give up the cultural acquaintances for more fishing time with my children and true gospel teaching for my family any day. Those friends have pretty much disapeared. Pathfinders, when I was young, was a washout with so much marching time and emphasis on preparing for the ìtime of troubleî though the crafts were good and those skills have stayed with me. I always wanted to try the scouts tho.. Iíve seen some baby sitting situations in SDA churches as well and ñ a potluck is a potluck ñ what more can you say except YUM!!! I do know one thing that our children say they remember is the Friday nite suppers and family time then. That didnít quite offset the ìcanít doís ì that came out on Sabbath afternoon along with the ìlay activitiesî. Would have been better spent fishiní. | ||
| Raven Registered user Username: Raven Post Number: 545 Registered: 7-2004  |
No, I can't say there are any cultural things I miss. Some of the things I enjoyed most in the SDA culture included the potlucks and fellowship things. We have been very blessed to find a church that is similar in that regard. Our church, which is small and very family-oriented, has plenty of social things including potluck-type things. Also, they are very kid-friendly and have great Sunday School programs and youth activities, none of which are mostly baby-sitting. Our kids love it! I guess there's one thing that I sort of miss on occasion. And that's where in the SDA church, you could count on the fact that anyone and everyone would potentially be available any Sabbath to hang out or go for a walk out in nature because not much else could be done anyway. If you asked anyone in a non-Sabbath church if they wanted to do something like that, you'd get a pretty strange look and they'd certainly expect more notice. | ||
| Gmatt Registered user Username: Gmatt Post Number: 26 Registered: 3-2005 |
Communion Bread! Adventist communion bread is the best! I don't miss the actual service in the Adventist Church. It is so much more meaningful now in other churches I have attended, but I must say I miss that nutty whole wheat flavor. | ||
| Lisa_boyldavis Registered user Username: Lisa_boyldavis Post Number: 226 Registered: 3-2005 |
Do I miss anything? The truth is that there were very good things about many of the churches I grew up in and the one I attended before we left. My question: can one leave the church for theological reasons, at the same time allow for good things inside Adventism to remain as a positive thing, or a neutral thing, rather than either bad or good? There are many Adventists who question the churches theology, however they stay because they don't want to become bitter and join the disgruntled club. It seems to me that many who leave are disgruntled because they remain black and white in non-essential issues. (non-essential black and white thinkers seem to be the ones most attracted to the theology of Adventism in the first place) For me, learning to keep the essentials black and white, and allowing for there to be differences in the non-essentials has not only helped me with the leaving process but the acclimating to a new culture as well. I treasure the good memories I have from my life as an Adventist. Yes, there are things I miss, and I'm letting that be ok with me. I miss being known no matter where I travel. I miss belonging to a "tight-knit" group. I miss involvement in music. I miss weekly potlucks. (Yes, I know there are other Christian Churches who have these things, but mine does not). As time has passed, however, I've noticed that as I've gotten to know others inside my church (a non-Adventist church), that many miss the same things I do, never having been raised Adventist. A lady I just talked to this morning told me she missed the traditional Christmas program that was simply costumes and Bible Verses with the traditional Christmas Carols. Another told me she remembers potlucks weekly, and hates how everyone seems to be too busy to have lunch after church and an entire day together. Another told me she misses having her kids sit in the church service, and misses singing hymns. I guess I'm trying to say that some of the things we find ourselves missing may simply be changes in our culture rather than Adventist verses Non- Adventist. My last thought, give yourself time. Changes are tough. I cried every Sunday for about the first year and a half.... now I only cry about once a month It gets better. God Bless You In the Changes, Lisa | ||
| Snowboardingmom Registered user Username: Snowboardingmom Post Number: 163 Registered: 11-2005 |
Initially, I worried about missing the cultural "connection" of Adventism that gave a sense of unity and even a sense of confirmation. For instance, I remember being at a non-Adventist wedding (back while I was still Adventist) with a bunch of my Adventist friends. This wedding had dancing. We were all sitting at the table talking about whether we should participate or not, and laughing about whether we'd even "know" how. There was a connection between us that made us feel comfortable even though the situation was very uncomfortable. It's that same "connection" that even if you were out of town, and visiting a local Adventist church, you could easily adapt and feel connected to everyone because of cultural things. Much to my surprise, not only did I not miss that cultural "connection" like I thought I might, but I found a much deeper connection that believers share -- the Holy Spirit! I had no idea how powerful and strong this was. Now, I can meet a believer for the first time, and within moments have more in common and be able to just talk plainly about what God has done in my life than with those that I share campmeeting or Academy memories with. It's been an amazing realization. A good friend of mine tells me that she just can't ever see herself leaving the Adventist culture. She said to do so would mean leaving her whole identity. I told her, "But isn't that what God calls us to do?" She then said she didn't feel God would ask her to give up things about herself if they were "good things" (like vegetarianism, Sabbath, Adventist relationships, etc.). Isn't Adventist thinking convoluted? I tried so hard to express to her how God gives us a whole new identity in Him which is far greater than any cultural identity. This new identity not only makes our lifestyles healthier, but it makes our relationships healthier too. We're just so much better off belonging to Him and being identified with Him rather than a denomination! I guess there is one thing I occasionally miss, and that would be hearing "special music" during the service. I used to always look forward to that part, especially the young, talented performers. But it didn't add to my worship experience any; I just liked to hear it because I like music. As a whole, "worship" now during church is far more special to me than it ever was in an Adventist church; even in an Adventist church that had "good music" and a lot of talent. Nothing compares to now. Before "worship", if you can call it that, was passive. Song service was singing ABOUT Someone (kind of like being patriotic or proud of something), whereas now it's about singing TO Someone (which is so much more intimate and real). Boy, this post is all over the place. What I'm trying to say is there is not really anything I miss from Adventism because everything now is so much better. Grace | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 4614 Registered: 12-2003  |
I really don't miss anything, either. Oh, I take that backóI miss having a day off after Sabbath before work-day Monday! But the flip side is that I love having Saturday to work before ending the weekend with church! The kids' program at our church is amazing. It's not babysitting (except for the very youngest babies), and even then they have a curriculum for the care-givers that includes talking to them about Jesus loving them, etc., whenever they hold them, change them, etc. The experience of having that unity in the Spirit is so powerfulóit's way more satisfying that the "belonging" I felt with other Adventists. Here in So Cal, the larger, more "liberal" or "evangelical" churches really didn't have potlucks. In fact, going to church was pretty solitary unless one had a social clique to interact with. So noóI actually don't miss anything. I'm finding that, like Grace said, Jesus continually asks us to surrender the things that feel familiar and "safe" and allow Him to be all I need. The really amazing thing is that He really does give me Himself. I trust Him to fill my heart, and He is filling the holes left by my Adventist culture. Colleen | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 2816 Registered: 3-2004  |
There is nothing that I miss either. I never did "belong" for what ever reasons. In my current church and in the Baptist church where I go for Bible study I find more fellowship and people who really care about me then I did in the SDA church. I will take part of that back, my best friends in VA are SDA and they are still my best friends. They have not shunned me for leaving the church. Diana | ||
| Riverfonz Registered user Username: Riverfonz Post Number: 2009 Registered: 3-2005 |
I was fortunate to have had some excellent SDA churches to grow up in, and now with a lot of good memories of those days. I loved the summer camps and camp meetings, and the friendships developed. But I wouldn't trade any of that for the joy of truly knowing Christ, and knowing for sure that we are eternally secure in Christ, and the Bible now has real meaning. As we wandered from church to church after leaving Adventism, I did miss the more worshipful music that SDAs had, and thought some of the churches we attended lacked reverence. I differ with most on here about worship music. I love good rock music, but my personal opinion is that for worship, I prefer more conservative hymns and praise music, even though I believe middle of the road contemporary is fine. But every church we visited in our area was music that my wife and I didn't care much for. So fortunately God has finally led us to a church that gives us the best of what SDA worship offered, worshipful music and reverence, as well as friendly people, but now with the true gospel of sovereign grace freely proclaimed, and the inerrancy of scripture maintained, and none of the legalism so evident in Adventism--I don't miss that! (We have found this in a PCA church) Stan | ||
| Honestwitness Registered user Username: Honestwitness Post Number: 135 Registered: 7-2005  |
Stan, I too miss the worshipful music and have found it on an even grander scale in a PCUSA church. My new church has an excellent choir, which I recently joined, an excellent organist, and that wonderful gospel of sovereign grace freely proclaimed. I'm happier than I have been for many years! Honestwitness | ||
| Riverfonz Registered user Username: Riverfonz Post Number: 2010 Registered: 3-2005 |
Honestwitness, I am glad to hear that you are finding a home there at that PCUSA, and if I remember correctly, the "confessing" group you go to is trying to reform the liberal mainstream church, but as you shared previously, this group is very orthodox. I also think I read on another thread some time back that you were having second thoughts about even where you are going now, but it looks like you have resolved those concerns judging by your enthusiasm! Stan | ||
| Wolfgang Registered user Username: Wolfgang Post Number: 103 Registered: 10-2005 |
Boy do I miss those board meetings,where the judegmental folks gather. Where you had to get approval to change the color of table cloths for potluck,goodtimes...... And the hours and hours these meetings took to get through. Gosh those were the days......(but I'm not bitter) | ||
| Honestwitness Registered user Username: Honestwitness Post Number: 136 Registered: 7-2005 |
Stan, yes I'm resolving my concerns about my particular local congregation. I have realized that part of my problem is a hypercritical spirit, because of my bad experiences with SDAism. I'm trying to find the right balance, so that I can correctly discern each situation without overreacting to my past experiences. Speaking of the PCUSA being liberal, I would now have to ramp that label up a notch to "ultra-liberal." The General Assembly has gone off the deep end, in my opinion, by its recent declaration that self-avowed, practicing homosexuals can be ordained as pastors and elders, AND that anyone who is ordained doesn't have to embrace the Biblical teaching that Jesus Christ is the only way of salvation. My local congregation and many others throughout the country are preparing to make an official response to this turn of events. We're being told that the last and most extreme response, but one thay may be necessary, is to withdraw from the PCUSA parent organization altogether. In preparation for what may come, congregations are researching their legal options as far as holding church property goes. But the GA heirarchy is also maneuvering in the direction of placing a legal hold on all local church properties. This could get really ugly. But back to the subject of this thread... I DON'T miss the board meetings AT ALL. In fact, it was largely because of board meetings that I finally made my exit from the SDA organization. The other issue that provided "the straw that broke the camel's back," so to speak, was when I discovered that our local SDA congregation was allowing a self-avowed, practicing female homosexual to teach a juniors Sabbath-school class each week. I don't know just how aware the board was that this woman was practicing the lifestyle at the time, but they did all know that she had admitted in the past that she was gay. I was told by one of the 12-year old juniors in that very Sabbath-school class that the teacher was, in fact, her own mother's "partner." The teacher had moved into the home of the junior, her mother and sister and they were all living together as one big happy family. So instead of a mother, father, and two children, the household consisted of a mother, the mother's "partner," and the two children. The "family" status was so impressed upon the children that they even referred to the teacher's nephews as their as their "cousins." And, what was even more puzzling was that this little "family" attended the SDA church regularly and was very involved in church activities. Until the 12-year old junior used the word "partner," I was blissfully ignorant there was anything inappropriate going on. It was a regular Peyton place! I don't miss that at all. Honestwitness | ||
| Bb Registered user Username: Bb Post Number: 140 Registered: 7-2004 |
The board meetings were horrendous! I think I attended two and gave it up! I decided I'd rather have no knowledge of what was going on behind the scenes. The church where I am now is SO much more wonderful for the kids. AWANAS is an awesome kid's program, and our church is very into all kinds of outreach programs, and has wonderful music. I don't miss much at all. One thing I notice that is different, is that in the SDA group you don't always feel comfortable talking about your relationship with Jesus, but in my new circle of Christian friends, it is mentioned often and it feels more acceptable to talk about. Yes, there are some Peyton places around. I've heard many strange stories! One thing I liked was the knowing people all over the country, that was kind of cool. | ||
| Brian4 Registered user Username: Brian4 Post Number: 15 Registered: 1-2006 |
Honestwitness, I do believe the last I heard was this person has now changed and is no longer a practicing lesbian. Praise God for that, if it is indeed true. However, even worse than being a lesbian, she now fully embraces and lives to teach the teachings of EGW. I feel real bad for the confusion of the children and their Motherís lesbian relationship with this Sabbath School teacher. I feel even worse for the brain washings with the EGW teaching still being force fed to these hungry children. What a mess! We need to pray for these little ones. I truly do not miss anything about SDA church, with the exception of speaking the truth in love as I continually attempted to lift up Christ and His word. The Board Meetings were the worst. By a secret vote of the Board of Elders, I was voted out for preaching the Gospel and proclaiming to the members that ìThe Testimony of Jesus is the Spirit of Prophesyî. I do not miss the confused members who hold to the writings of EGW as if they were the Gospel. We did have good pot luckís, butt the fake meat that the Sabbath vegetarians ate only on Sabbath was another evidence of the inconsistency of the message. The rules of Sabbath keeping and diet as set by the hierarchy of the membership who had the longest record of being there were the oneís who allow lesbian Sabbath School teachers. In fact while I was there and active in leadership we put a stop to allowing lesbian teachers in Sabbath School. The ink had barely dried on my resignation letter before she was put back in the role of Sabbath School teacher. I hope she is no longer a Lesbian. I also pray she will see the light of the truth of Godís word ìThe Testimony of Jesus is the Spirit of Prophesyî | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 2382 Registered: 11-2002 |
Do I miss anything? No. However, I do miss being treeted like an equal with the SDA family and friends. When they all realized I am now 'a Sunday-keeper' my status made a big leap downward from equal to persucator. About the lesbians-back in the late 1960's I was at Monterey bay Academy. My roommates mother was a fullfledged lesbian and when the girls mother and her wife would visit they'd stay in my room. They'd sleep together on the floor and I sure got an eyeful and an earful of their loving banter with each other at bedtime. I put up with it several times finily I asked the assistand dowm morm if when my roommates mother and her wife came to visit if I could get permission to sleep in my best friends room. Then after this happened only one time I found out the mother and her wife had the nerve to sleep together in my bed! They had not asked me for permission, nor had I given it. After that when the mother and her wife came to visit I'd strip all my linins from my bad and take them with me to my friends room. Then one day I had to go to my room to get some homework I'd forgotten so I could bring it back to my teacher and I walked in on my roommate and her best friend, the SDA minister missionary daughter in bed together being, how do I say this in a tactful way?, being very enthralled with each other under the covers. I went bonkers and I went and told the assistand dorm morm that if I didn't get a new roommate right then that very day I would phone my parents and tell them what I'd been putting up with and they would let me check out of MBA and I'd go back to my local public school. I got assigned a new roommate immediatelly and she and me got along wonderfully. She was probably the nicest person I have ever known. She too grew up on the mission lands in a far off continant. The boarding schools reek with sexual behavior, much of it very innapproiate. Would you like to hear what goes on out at the school dairy? | ||
| Honestwitness Registered user Username: Honestwitness Post Number: 140 Registered: 7-2005 |
Brian4, it's so good to see you posting here again. I wasn't aware that you were instrumental in putting a stop to allowing a lesbian to teach the children's Sabbath school. My feeling is that allowing even a former lesbian to teach children is wrong. However I am far from convinced that she really is a former. If she can allow the children to believe that her nephews are their cousins, there is something very rotten in Denmark.(No offense to anyone from Denmark.) Honestwitness | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 4621 Registered: 12-2003 |
Susan, Honestwitness and Brian4, you bring up an unpleasant but all-too-true reality: sexual misconduct is rampant just under the surface within Adventism. I believe it's one of the legacies handed down to us from James and Ellen. Remember the Damian trial? I am so extremely thankful that God wastes nothing and redeems our past. Even the various types of abuse and manipulation so many of us experienced "within the ranks" is covered with Jesus' blood and transformed into equiping for ministry. And part of our obligation is NOT turning a blind eye when we know of abuses being perpetrated. Honestwitness and Brian, God bless you for your work in protecting children. Colleen | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 2819 Registered: 3-2004 |
When I was a student at La Sierra, my room mate used to go on weekends to spend at her aunt and uncle's house in ...... She told me her male cousin would get in bed with her. I was so naive I had no idea what she was trying to tell me. I was not very empathetic. And her aunt and uncle were leaders in their SDA church. I do not remember her cousin being a church goer. As far as I know she did not tell her aunt and uncle. Diana | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 2820 Registered: 3-2004 |
GMatt, You mention communion bread. That is a memory I almost forgot. My oldest sister, the one with whom I went to Alaska, used to take me to the kitchen after church on communion sabbath and get me large pieces of that. I liked the taste and learned to make it when I was an at home Mom. Diana |
