| Author | Message | ||
| Melissa Registered user Username: Melissa Post Number: 1482 Registered: 7-2003 |
Don't you think pigs get a bad rap? I mean, they are merely the creatures God created them to be. While there are lots of people who want to turn their noses up at them, quite literally, they provide very useful services as donors to many things...like lots of 'stitches' are made from pigs. I've heard some skin grafts are pigskins. And my favorite leather jacket is thanks to a pig...mighty soft too. My 3-year old came home from a few hours with his dad a couple of weeks ago and he announced cows were clean but pigs were dirty. I thought to myself 'the indoctrination begins' as I replied, yes but they sure taste good. Then yesterday, we had quite a discussion about how 'people don't eat pigs'. Well, what does one do with that? I said well, some don't eat pigs, but I do...and Christopher does, and Rachel does, and you do. He said 'no my daddy says people don't eat pigs" as he starts to get distraught. I guess my question is, at what price, indoctrination? He is clearly upset when I disagree with something his dad has said. Even if I frame it up as best I can that that's dad's perspective or opinion, his dad is 'right'. But this is not the first issue of indoctrination and will doubtless not be the last. I come off as the bad guy to disagree with dad and yet feel I'm 'agreeing' on some level if I say nothing as I hand him his ham sandwich. I've learned in the last few months how very little I knew about this 'man' and am realizing more every day the battle that enrages for my son. I don't care if he eats pork or not, I care he seems to buy everything his dad says hook line and sinker. Have any of you ever dealt with a child so young and tried to help them understand truth without becoming the enemy? I can see his dad already setting him up to defy me on every topic and I realize I'm powerless to stop it because I have to disagree with his dad. And it doesn't seem to go the other way if B says something against me. What is one to do, really? | ||
| Grace_alone Registered user Username: Grace_alone Post Number: 211 Registered: 6-2006  |
Hi Melissa, I've been thinking about you! I know that this is minor, but a few weeks ago my little ones, 7 and 5, told me about Eden. They described a couple of things that I knew were not in the Bible. So I said "Let's check and see if it's in the Bible". So we read the verses together and of course it wasn't there. Their Dad had described some things that I knew were EGW, but it was probably a matter of that whole "is it live or is it Memorex" situation. Basically I told the kids "If you're not sure, always check. Sometimes people get confused and the best way is to look it up in the Bible". Melissa, if I were you I'd tell your son that Jesus made it okay for people to eat pigs. Jesus said that nothing you put into your body can make you unclean. (Mark 7:14-23) And that's why you and Christopher and Rachel can eat pigs. As far as B goes, be aware not to bash him or what he says. I'm not an expert, but I do know how crummy it feels for a kid when one parent competes with the other. Just remind him that his Dad loves him and if he doesn't want to eat pigs at his Dads house it's okay, and vice versa. I'll pray for you all! I'm sorry this is such a nasty battle for you... | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 2848 Registered: 3-2004  |
You are damned if you do and damned if you don't as the saying goes. I will continue to pray for you as you raise your son. Remember, God is still in charge. Diana | ||
| Bb Registered user Username: Bb Post Number: 146 Registered: 7-2004 |
Melissa I studied my way out of the SDA church when my little boy was about three. My husband is not SDA. I was afraid that he would sneak pork to him and try to "defile" him before that. Thankfully, I am not worried about it any more. My son's favorite pizza is pepperoni. My husband and his family were eating out, and he gave my little boy a bite of pork chop, and jokingly called it "pork chicken". He is now 6 and told me the other day that one of his favorite foods was "pork chicken". It cracks us up. I'm not trying to make light of your situation though, I know that must feel awful to have to worry about the differences in what you teach him. I personally think that you can eat pork, but in reality it isn't the healthiest thing as far as sat. fats go, but I know that it is just an example of the overall feeling you have when he listens to everything his daddy says. All of us bring different things into parenting, so just pray and do your best! God will give you the words. Bb | ||
| Honestwitness Registered user Username: Honestwitness Post Number: 147 Registered: 7-2005  |
Melissa, I so understand your conflicting feelings of responsibility to teach your son the truth about God and your feelings of helplessness when B unravels all you've taught and all you stand for. My ex-husband, the father of my three grown sons, unraveled, confused, and compromised the standards I tried to teach them. The only solace is the promises in God's word. I cling to them and claim them for my sons and their children. I have committed my children to Jesus Christ for Him to keep them safe from every harmful or evil thing. I'm holding fast my confession of faith, that "He is able to keep that which I've committed to Him against that day." Praying for you, dear friend. Honestwitness | ||
| Lisa_boyldavis Registered user Username: Lisa_boyldavis Post Number: 231 Registered: 3-2005 |
Dear Melissa, I have a 3 year old too  He's such a darling, and everything in his world is black and white. Showing his scripture might be helpful, but my little guy would not understand as there's no picture and it's not Curious George. He does understand, however, what he's learning in Sunday school. Every time we go outside at night he points to the sky and says "Momma, God made the stars". If he finds topics concerning God and the Bible to be memories of stress and contention and he's a peace maker kind of kid, he may just avoid God altogether. You might just change the subject until he's old enough to reason with. B sounds very immature for using his darling 3 year old as a yanking rope. I will pray for you that God will guide you and protect your child. Lisa | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 4679 Registered: 12-2003  |
Hmmmmóperhaps this situation is one you should mention to your attorney...? All I know is that our kids need to know the truth, and even if they reject it when they hear it from us, the day will come when they look back and remember that they always heard the truth from us. It's important not to be angry or bitter or defensiveóbut truth needs to be spoken. Colleen | ||
| Timmy Registered user Username: Timmy Post Number: 45 Registered: 8-2006  |
Melissa, A very sensitive and awkward situation indeed. Not knowing your ex, I can only speak from my perspective. So for what it is worth... I think it would be important to keep in mind what his motives are. I don't think this particular thing is done out of spite or retaliation, but rather total fear. He is terrified that your influance over your son's diet will make your son lose his salvation. Out of fear your ex will in turn do everything he can to hand that fear down to his following generation. I would do everything in my power to respect my sons decisions, but at the same time constantly saturate him with the gospel of our Lord and Savior. Make sure he KNOWS that Jesus is much much much bigger than a pig. Make sure he knows that Jesus is bigger than a beverage or a clock or a day. You can never go wrong with Jesus. Jesus is the rock of our salvation (not a pig). "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18) It is sad to say but, there was a time in my life when my perspective of Jesus was almost equal with a pig. After all, Jesus gives you salvation, but a slice of peperoni can take it away... "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death. The law of Moses could not save us..." (Rom8:1-3) Praise God that my perspective has changed and that I now know that nothing in all creation can seperate me from the love of God through Jesus Christ!!! And this is my prayer for your son... | ||
| Melissa Registered user Username: Melissa Post Number: 1483 Registered: 7-2003 |
Thanks for everyone's input. I did send an email to my attorney for this and other badgering issues I've had to deal with lately. I think it's fascinating that of all the things he could be doing with his time with the child, discouraging him from ham is first on his list. | ||
| 91steps Registered user Username: 91steps Post Number: 107 Registered: 8-2005  |
my best friends Dad raised hogs when we were little. They are very intelligent, and the females are EXTREMELY protective of their young. I still won't eat pork, but not because of the EGW/SDA reasons. |
