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Wolfgang
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Username: Wolfgang

Post Number: 120
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Saturday, January 13, 2007 - 1:03 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

good SDA friends of mine have found out that they are going to be grandparents by thier unwed SDA childern,who were planning on marrying now they are just going to marry sooner then expected. she's afraid the SDA pastor wont marry them becaue of the "sin". where does the church stand on this matter? maybe this will be the icing on the cake for thme to really look at the church and it's teachings. He's also head elder
I wonder if this will have the church look at him differntly after all it's always been in the SDA church the head elder shall have his family in check so to speak. Any thoughts or experinces with this?
Dawn
U2bsda
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Username: U2bsda

Post Number: 428
Registered: 11-2004
Posted on Saturday, January 13, 2007 - 1:07 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I know the SDA church does not support marriage between a SDA and a non-SDA, but I haven't heard of problems marrying unwed SDA future parents.
Flyinglady
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Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 3301
Registered: 3-2004


Posted on Saturday, January 13, 2007 - 1:07 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I have not had any experience like this, but I will pray for them.
Diana
Raven
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Username: Raven

Post Number: 694
Registered: 7-2004


Posted on Saturday, January 13, 2007 - 1:42 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I have personally known of the SDA church marrying SDA couples while pregnant out of wedlock. And there was not a big deal made out of it either. IMO, the SDA church primarily wants to maintain its numbers. I remember back in the 70's where it was common for the SDA church to have to decide who was at fault in a divorce so they could know who to disfellowship. Nowadays I think the SDA church is likely to look the other way more than they used to, because they're just happy to have as many members as possible.
Bmorgan
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Username: Bmorgan

Post Number: 108
Registered: 7-2000
Posted on Saturday, January 13, 2007 - 2:46 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

The church does seem to look the other way more often now than they did before. However, if your pastor(church) is true to form as I known many sda churches, they will treat you according to your family name, social status, and/or power in the church or community.

I would not be surprised that if the parents are prominent people, their children would receive some royal treatment as opposed to the no name "janitor's" children receiving a "quiet" ceremony if any.
91steps
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Username: 91steps

Post Number: 142
Registered: 8-2005


Posted on Saturday, January 13, 2007 - 8:37 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Raven, you hit the nail on the head, they care more about numbers then anything else!! Sad to say, my wife and I had a long discussion today, she still is an Adventist and is going through some tough times at her church. She not part of the "power base" at her church, so she is not a viable member. She is starting to see why I left last year, and I pray she will follow my lead.
Wolfgang
Registered user
Username: Wolfgang

Post Number: 121
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Sunday, January 14, 2007 - 1:24 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I'll keep you all posted as to how they will handle this,Dawn
Qweary
Registered user
Username: Qweary

Post Number: 24
Registered: 3-2004
Posted on Sunday, January 14, 2007 - 4:15 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Back in the late 40s and early 50s two of my good friends "had to get married." They were married in the church with big weddings. (I sang for both weddings, but I didn't "KNOW" until afterwards that the bride was carrying her oldest child at the ceremony until "counting up" afterwards. Didn't make any difference in the community that I knew of. Didn't to me either. Deut. 22:28, 29 KJV seems not to consider it a "sin" per se, but the fellow is to marry the girl and give his father-in-law 50 shekels and cannot divorce her all his life.

Qweary
Johnl
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Username: Johnl

Post Number: 8
Registered: 2-2006


Posted on Sunday, January 14, 2007 - 8:02 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

While attending LSU back in 1957 or 8 we were refused the right to be married at the La Sierra Church because we were "in the family way".

Finally found a retired SDA pastor who would agree to perform the service but not in the church.

John
Colleentinker
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Username: Colleentinker

Post Number: 5261
Registered: 12-2003


Posted on Sunday, January 14, 2007 - 10:57 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

There's an enormous amount of trauma connected with pregnancy, sex, and resultant ostracizing and emotional scars, etc. as we look back on the years in Adventism.

Have you seen Dale Ratzlaff's bold and long-overdue research about this subject? He's asking for anonymous responses from men and women re: their attempts to follow Ellen's advice about sex and the resulting effects on their lives. You can find his questionnaire here:http://www.ellenwhite.org/articles/20070104.htm

A couple of weeks ago Dale sent an email to the White Estate asking if anyone has done research re: Ellen's sexual advice and the resulting effects on people. He asked that they send a copy of the results if such a study had been done and informed them that he would be doing his own research of nothing was forthcoming from them.

I encourage you all to respond. I believe the resulting responses will show some very interesting conclusions.

Colleen
U2bsda
Registered user
Username: U2bsda

Post Number: 432
Registered: 11-2004
Posted on Sunday, January 14, 2007 - 11:27 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Thanks for the link Colleen. I think the title sums up my experience "The Untold Story". I had no idea those things were in EGW's writings until I had left the SDA church.

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