| Author | Message | ||
| Marysroses Registered user Username: Marysroses Post Number: 4 Registered: 4-2007 |
I hadn't intended to post a rant quite so soon... This afternoon, as I was ariving home tired from a full day of tending to all the things that have to be done after a long week when you have a family.. my SDA mother calls. She informs me that my cousin (newly baptized SDA last month) is getting married at 5 pm! Because my husband and I both work on Sunday, we attend church as a family Saturday at five thirty. She knows this. She did not invite me earlier to this wedding, when there would have been time to rearrange work schedules to accommodate attending both the wedding and church. I was forced to choose at the last minute between attending the wedding or attending church. Because of the history of such ambushes, we attended church as planned. This makes me the 'bad' daughter once again, because we missed a family wedding to attend our 'apostate' church. *SIGH* Obviously this wasn't a large formal wedding, but we still would have liked to have been there, but I'm tired of last minute "oh I forgot to tell you...." attempts to sabotage our church attendance. I have been choosing to cope by not letting her upset our schedule, while being as charitable as possible about my reasons. Prayers and suggestions VERY welcome, thanks. MarysRoses | ||
| Jeremiah Registered user Username: Jeremiah Post Number: 216 Registered: 1-2004  |
I know it doesn't sound all that comforting, but; Matthew 10:35 I can't say I've been ambushed yet but it may come at some point. Count it all joy! Both parties claiming to be Christian does add a different twist to it. Jeremiah | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 5753 Registered: 12-2003  |
Marysroses, I so understand your feelings about this! I agree with Jeremiah's quote of Matthew above; we can't let the subtle (and often not-so-subtle) manipulation cause us to change our plans just to appease those who are upset. Sometimes I just pray to know how to love them for God, to show me how and when to interact and to keep me faithful and honoring Jesus. And truly, sometimes we have to set boundaries. It usually makes them pretty angry at first, but if you are calm, consistent, and available without giving in to the "ambushes", they eventually have to make some kind of peace with the boundaries. To be sure, some relationships are permanently altered, but even this reality is OK because Jesus is faithful. He brings people and circumstances into our lives that support us and keep us accountable, and He Himself is our great reward. You did the right thing to go on with your plans--but I'm sorry for the disappointment and all that adrenalin! I so understand!! With prayers for you, Colleen | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 3594 Registered: 3-2004  |
MaryRoses, Your mother is not happy with you because of your leaving the SDA church. She will manipulate, pull, do anything possible to get you back/disrupt your life. That is her problem and not yours. Just keep your eyes on Jesus, pray for your mother and you do what you know Jesus wants you to do. DO NOT LET YOU MOTHER MANIPULATE YOU. Diana | ||
| Helovesme2 Registered user Username: Helovesme2 Post Number: 909 Registered: 8-2004  |
MaryRoses, I agree with the advice already given. Seems to me that it would have been your cousin's responsibility to see that you were invited to her wedding, not your mother's anyway. Hang in there. I'm praying that God will hold you closely and keep you strong. Blessings, Mary | ||
| Doug222 Registered user Username: Doug222 Post Number: 538 Registered: 3-2001 |
The situaiton you described conjured up memories of another ridiculous part of the SDA culture. You said your cousin got baptized last month. I'd bet dollars to donuts that her new husband was already an SDA and she got baptized so that they could get married. I've seen that a 1,000 times. I've even seen people get baptized, then never seen hide nor hair of them once the wedding took place. Doug | ||
| River Registered user Username: River Post Number: 705 Registered: 9-2006  |
The Bacon Tree Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden....... "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon I ahm sure of eet." "Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee". So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture ... there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat. "Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Eet EES a bacon tree!" "Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage?; We ees in the Desert don't forget." "Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree". And with that ....Luis races toward the tree. He gets to within 5 meters, with Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden a machine gun opens up and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath. "Pepe...go back man,you was right...ees not a bacon tree." "Luis Luis, mi amigo...what ees it? "Pepe...ees not a bacon tree... Ees.......... Ees... Ees......... Ees.... ... Eees a Ham Bush!" Moral of this story, don't fall for it. River | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 3597 Registered: 3-2004 |
River, Another humorous analogy. That is good. Diana | ||
| River Registered user Username: River Post Number: 706 Registered: 9-2006 |
Yeah, they try to tell you their tree is loaded with the best but Eees a hambush! | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 5762 Registered: 12-2003 |
An ambush for sure! Deception is mortally wounding. Colleen | ||
| Marysroses Registered user Username: Marysroses Post Number: 5 Registered: 4-2007 |
Now it seems silly to have been upset. I just get so frustrated. I Just really don't 'get' all the stress and manipulation to get someone into the 'right' church, as if that in itself saves someone. We never talk about why I go where I do, or why I left the Adventist beliefs. She isn't open to those kinds of discussions, yet all the time there are the attempts at emotional blackmail to get me 'back' regardless of what it would mean to me spiritually. I do believe the choice of a community to worship with is important, it will be a significant influence on your spiritual health, but there are all kinds of people in all kinds of churches. We all have different backgrounds and personalities. Truth is important, yes. I see Adventists though, as looking at salvation as a puzzle to solve. Finding the 'right' answer seems more important than living out as best you can what you know and understand. I loved the statement someone made, that if there were such a thing as a perfect community, it would cease to be one the moment we joined.  MarysRoses | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 5766 Registered: 12-2003 |
Yes, MarysMoses, Adventists are concerned about getting the "puzzle" of salvation right. And actually, right answers fade away as we discover that the thing that really matters is knowing Jesus! (That's not just a metaphor, I've discovered...He is real, and He really died for me!) Once we know Him, He continues to teach us truth and reality. He's faithful! Colleen | ||
| River Registered user Username: River Post Number: 709 Registered: 9-2006 |
Marysroses, my little bacon tree story was meant to cheer you up but in case it didn't I am praying for you. May the Lord give you peace. River P.S. This is a good place to offload a little when you need too. These folks care. (Message edited by river on April 30, 2007) | ||
| Marysroses Registered user Username: Marysroses Post Number: 6 Registered: 4-2007 |
I loved your bacon tree story. and thanks for the prayers. |
