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Jim02
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Username: Jim02

Post Number: 18
Registered: 5-2007
Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 6:07 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I thought about the forum and how folks express themselves.
I realize that all of us (in general) come from a common experience.
I had suggested that SDA is family and that I felt like there were strong sentiments that seemed extreme to me.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized how many of us have suffered a great deal from our experiences. Myself included. I could fill a book with all the things that have been affected in my own life, my marrage and my family.
How I am just beginning to try to salvage all the above.

Sometimes I want to scream my anger at how my life has been damaged, how I made so many mistakes and sacrificed so much , lost so much, drove people out of my life and crippled my ownself, all because I had thought I was doing the right thing even when it constantly defied my own common sense.
So yes , I understand pain. I live it. I feel like a person who is looking at the debri after a storm. Where to start?

Now I realize this much. Anger usually clouds things, burns up energy I need for endurance and creates more issues.

That is why I am trying to prevent it from being a part of my growth process. Anger usually drives people out of my life. It is unattractive and it does not help if I express it.

Anger is a mechanism that says something is wrong. It motivates to seek out a solution.
However, I discover that anger acted out or expressed usually nets me the opposite of my intention.
I suppose anger has a place. But it is such a violatile emotion it usually backfires on me when I show temper. My employer says, temper means you already lost the game.

Temper , anger, resentment, bitterness all negative emotions. All have a purpose. To identify a problem to be corrected, handled, healed.
So, yes, I hurt too.
I just want to be constructive and move towards resolution and healing as rapidly as possible.

So , everyone, Please accept my apology. I understand we need to vent. So do I.

I just want to avoid adding to the pain I already have.
Agapetos
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Username: Agapetos

Post Number: 832
Registered: 10-2002


Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 6:25 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I understand Jim.

When I went through SDA withdrawl, I guess there wasn't so much anger. I was just so excited about finding out this and this, kind of giddily happy about uncovering the contrasts between Biblical truth and the mistakes Adventism had made. I don't think I vented much about the offense of the SDA mistakes -- but my frank giddiness offended some of my friends and they couldn't be around me or others who were equally eager to get to the bottom of things.

Part of the reason for this is that concurrent to my leaving Adventism, God was leading me through forgiveness toward some family members. So I ended up learning the truth of the Gospel while at the same time practicing steps of repentance and forgiveness, asking for and receiving God's agape love toward those whom I hadn't felt it from before. I guess this naturally kind of carried over towards Adventism -- I could speak of the wounds and mistakes, but I learned to do so with forgiveness instead of bitterness.

I know others have gone through a lot more pain than I have, and that anger is a stage of healing (so long as it is eventually released at the foot of the cross).

But I need to add something else here. In a sense, I was spared a lot of anger because I didn't have as much information as I do now. Had I received knowledge of the depth of cover-up, deception and dishonesty in Adventist history, I might have been more upset. On the other hand, God can keep things in check, and I believe He could keep me from letting a root of bitterness spring up.

Many Former-Adventists are unable to "go back" to speaking lightly about EGW/SDA. The reason for this is not always anger -- often instead the sheer amount of things learned about SDA history just makes them incapable of speaking gently. When you finally see the spirit of Adventist history uncovered, it's hard to speak gently about it. I think this can be mistaken for anger or bitterness, but that's not always the case.

Anyhow, blessings to you as you rest in Jesus Christ and find all healing in Him. I pray we can help and not hurt that process, and that whatever happens, God is sovereign and works all things out for your good.
Stevendi
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Username: Stevendi

Post Number: 114
Registered: 10-2006
Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 6:51 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Jim,

For me, I recently discovered that my sda background had become a "stronghold" on me. The Lord has shown me that my anger and resentment have been an excuse to be rebellious and at times to drink a little too much. I had been playing the "blame game" on my former church and my family members still in it. When the Holy Spirit helped me understand that I was still allowing myself to serve demonic impulses even though the Lord had answered my prayers to release me from the toxic poison of adventism. Upon realizing my sin, I was able to accept His healing that He had been waiting to give me. I simply asked for forgiveness and healing from the scars of adventism. After 3 years of intense study and prayer, the Lord has given me His freedom from a legalistic, cultic mindset. No longer do I process everything and everybody through the adventist filter of condemnation and judgement.

My advice would be this: Focus on who you are in Christ, on who He says you are to Him. Realize that the enemy can use even your spiritual journey against you if you don't resist. Give up your stronghold of doubt and feelings of being lied to, etc. to Christ. The weapons are listed in Ephesians 6.

When Jesus heals, He says "get up and walk". Period. It is done. He says so.

steve
Melissa
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Username: Melissa

Post Number: 1575
Registered: 7-2003
Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 8:12 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

There is value in wanting to heal and be rid of anger, but if not completely dealt with, it comes up subtly elsewhere in your life. I'm finding as I'm going through my own grief process that it is fueled by 'ungrieved' anger from the past that now has a 'safe' venue in which to express itself. I know the feeling of having driven everyone away because of that anger, but I also know that the only way I will ever completely heal and be of any value to anyone else is to not short-change the process and 'get through it'. While I don't know it for a fact, I presume once I am through this process, I will gain more genuine and valuable friends because the people I attract will be more healthy emotionally and spiritually, like I hope to one day be.

It is ugly, uncomfortable, and sometimes shocking to hear and see the outward manifestation of the pain caused by someone, some organization or some experience. SDA has never been family to me, I was always the outsider, so I can't connect at that level, but I am surprised to see that grief and pain, regardless of the cause of it, all looks somewhat the same as it's being processed. You can do your best to fill the void with something else, but it will only delay the process that has to be undertaken to truly be healthy.

Each person has experienced adventisim at different levels with different depths of hurt. It's impossible to judge what is the 'right' grief process for each individual. What people need most of all during these times is grace ... to be authentic with ourselves and God as we work through this process. In the case of divorce, they say it takes 2-5 years to fully recover, depending upon how many years you were married. I would think the same statistic would apply to leaving a religion such as adventism. We all come here with different needs, perspectives, and in different spots on the continuum.

Just like the story of the carpenter that tears out the old rotten wood as far as it needs to go before starting to rebuild with new solid wood, we are all works in process. I didn't know how rotten the wood was or how deep it went, but what will be in its place will be truly solid with nothing even deeper still rotten to collapse all that is new. You can replace the surface rotten wood and ignore the rotten wood below, and that looks good to those outside and helps you feel 'better' but its only surface and will eventually collapse too as the underlying rottenness continues to decay.

The moral of the story: take the time to dig out all the rotten wood in your foundation. Pull up every board, and rafter and foundational support that is not solid. It's the only way to trust what you build in the future.
Doug222
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Username: Doug222

Post Number: 553
Registered: 3-2001
Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 8:16 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Jim,
Allow me to just add to what has already been stated. I think that the important thing to realize is that Adventism has been a part of most of our lives for many years. In my case, it was more than 40 years. While it is impoortant to forgive, it is just as important not to forgive too soon. Forgiveness is a process that requires us to go through the stages of grief, just like we would for the death of a loved one. Jumping straight to forgiveness, does not allow us to heal, it just places a bandaid over a gaping wound.

My experience has been that there are not too many places where you can process the hurt that Adventist has perpetrated on us. You cannot even discuss it with your Adventist friends and family members and those who have never been Adventist can not even begin to understand. This forum provides an excellent place for us to fellowship with others who have had a like experience.

I agree that we can get lost in the mire, and at some point, we ned to move forward... but there also needs to be people who continue to be here for the new people that God is bringing out of Adventism and into relatioinship with him. Everyone moves through this process at their own pace.

I guess I would sum up the point I was making by comparing Adventism to growing up in a dysfunctional family. One of the cardinal rules is that you do not discuss the dysfunction outside the family, but of course everyone in the family is pretending that everything is normal (or is at least presenting that image to those outside). If you are to become healthy, you cannot just leave the dysfunctional environment, you also must face the reality of what was (or was not). This forum has been (and continues to be) an excellent resource for me to understand the degree of my dysfunction, and to learn what "normal" really is.

Just my thoughts. Take them for what they are worth.

Doug
Doug222
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Username: Doug222

Post Number: 554
Registered: 3-2001
Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 8:19 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Sorry Melissa, looks like we crossed posts--or maybe it was a Holy Spirit moment.
Flyinglady
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Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 3702
Registered: 3-2004


Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 8:44 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

When I have anger toward my SDA upbringing, I have learned that in order to heal I have to admit it is mine to God and to another human who under stands. When I admit that anger or what ever the negative feeling is and say "yes it is mine", I am owning it. Then I pray and ask God to take it from me. You see, I have to recognize it as mine and no one elses. Only when I say it is mine, am I able to ask God to take it from me.
I will say I am fortunate to belong to a 12 step program. Before I left the church for good, God had been using the 12 step program to clear the cobwebs of adventism, all the dysfunction, out of my head. When I left there was very little anger or negative emotion.
When you are going through the grieving process as you exit the SDA church, one is hit with all kinds of emotions and feelings. That is common in leaving any significant relationship. Just own all the emotions and admit they are yours and ask God to take them. He does and leaves us a freer person. He is awesome.
Diana
Freeatlast
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Username: Freeatlast

Post Number: 529
Registered: 5-2002
Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 8:47 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Anger is one of the stages of grieving, and it is part and parcel of the former Adventist experience.

Here is my take on how Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' 5 stages of grief apply to leaving Adventism:

Denial: There's nothing wrong with Adventism. Formers are just bitter and all those anti-Adventist resources on the web are doing the work of the devil. They just don't understand true Adventism. SDAism will eventually be vindicated, just wait and see...

Bargaining: Well, maybe Ellen White wasn't a TRUE prophet, but certainly she wasn't a FALSE prophet!

Anger: I'm so angry that I was deceived! All that tithe money! All that tuition! All that time and effort for the church!

Blaming: That rotten church took my money, my time, and abused my spirit for so long. This is all their fault!

Acceptance: Ellen White was a false prophet, Seventh-day Adventism is another gospel, and I had responsibility in my own deception. I choose to let the Holy Spirit heal me and teach me.
Jim02
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Username: Jim02

Post Number: 19
Registered: 5-2007
Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 8:58 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I am dealing with issues in my life that have culminated in this concurrent (Forum) effort to make radical changes. To finally move out of my witdrawal and rut that has been a stagnated SDA existance. I quit going to church a few years ago. But maintained daily Bible and prayer and TV Radio , books.

While I do not have substance abuse issues. I have suffered from fears and phobias that are aggrivated by the way I process religon. To that effect , the SDA only made matters worse because they fed into that phobia fear cycle through threats of condemnation , making "works" my first line of coping. Thus another exhausting effort.
I do not blame SDA for ALL my problems. But the SDA construct has been a part of the problem.

I became over the years stuck in the mud so to speak. Trying to convince myself to be happy and to find "healthly thinking" as a SDA.
Guess what? That is not so easy to do.

So I don't blame my head/ personal/ marriage/ family issues soley on SDA. I brought them (problems) with me.

Right now , I am trying to get the obstacles (SDA has created) out of my way so I can see what I need to do to correct the other areas of my own life.

I am making progress.
I have visited three churches so far.

I am working on marriage, personal and family matters all at the same time. Like most things. It is all connected.
But I am making progress !

God has brought things into my life that somedays seem like an snow avalanche. I ask , God , why now? Why all at once? But , things appear to be working anyway.
I try to control events. Guess what, I can't. This is one of the areas God is showing me.

I am accepting most of my problems as my own doing and things I need to work on to resolve as far as my part can go.

There are days that I get blown away. But so far, God sends some form of relief to keep me encouraged and enduring with hope.
I worry that I will fret myself out of His hands.

I know this is not a Dear Abby forum.

It is that the SDA subject is so intergral to my life that the way I handle and process my problems depend upon my resolving the SDA roadblocks , confusions and baggage.

Agapetos, Stevendi
Thank You for your replies. It is good to know there are people who do understand.
Colleentinker
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Username: Colleentinker

Post Number: 5932
Registered: 12-2003


Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 9:32 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Jim, you are so not alone. The fact is that a great percentage of us who have had to process out of Adventism also have had deeply dysfunctional things in our own personal lives. The two often go together.

I am learning that the avalanches of things coming to a head in one's life happen that way because it's God's timing. He knows, in His sovereign grace, that now is when you are ready to deal with them, and He is in charge of exactly how much "stuff" you face at one time.

I've also found that the more willing I am to recognize what is true, the more other areas in my life come into focus and need attention. This is of God. I have come to cling to the sentence I learned from Elizabeth Inrig in women's Bible study: "God wastes nothing, and He redeems everything we submit to Him."

The responses above are so excellent. God brings issues in your life into focus when He knows you are ready to deal with them. He also brings His own strength, insight, mercy, and comfort into what often seems to be personal and spiritual disarray.

He asks us to trust Him. I'll repeate the good advice above: focus on Jesus, on who you are in Him. Keep your eyes on Him, and be willing to let go of the things you value in favor of embracing Him. He will not leave you bereft. He will fill your heart fuller than anything ever has before.

Jesus is the ONE constant in this devastation. There is hope, and there is a certain future of forgiveness, healing, and peace for you as you stay anchored in Jesus. It's not easy choosing to walk with Him. We take the arrows for Him when we claim His name.

But to walk apart from Him is death. In Him alone is relief from anxiety and fear and compulsion. As Freeatlast said, you are moving through the process of grief that we all have to walk through as we give up Adventism. Know that what you are experiencing is normal. We have all walked through it, and some of us still are walking.

We will pray for you and support you. This is the place you can voice your doubts, confusion, fear, and grief. We completely understand—and we share Jesus who holds the resolution to all our loss and pain.

He is faithful.
Colleen
River
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Username: River

Post Number: 798
Registered: 9-2006


Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 11:37 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Jim, when I first came to this forum I was a mess, now I feel I am less of a mess. The folks here just picked me up and carried me right along.
As one reads the posts here one could very well take is as extremes.
Sometimes it may come across as cold and judgmental.

But as you get to know each person through their writing you will come to know that love flows here.

Since I came here I feel like I have grown in the word and in my ability to love and associate with others.

God has led me from a life of a recluse into church support, being able to cope with people at least 80 % better than one year ago.
Five years ago I was a total recluse from the church of choice to hardly any human companionship, if more that three people got in a room I was in I went nuts and even my children (all grown) walked softly around me.

I had no love for humans, computers and science was my best friend, you want to talk about logic, I was walking logic and I had no patience with the illogical world I dealt with and that included my family, I had no patience with anyone who didn’t know how to tear their computer apart, put it all back together and write programs to make it do what they wanted it to do or anyone who could go out and wire the computer for cruise control on a 2005 chevy.

My daughter I hurt deeply because I rejected any advances on her part to find love and a close relationship and no matter how many times I pray God,s forgiveness now I have a hard time forgiving myself because there came a day when there was no more reaching out on her part and has not been to this day.

One morning the Holy Spirit said to me “Get up, get out, find yourself a church and support it. I said right back “Aw lord, you know how I am with people!” He never said another word and I knew that that was the end of the conversation. I got up out of that chair and went and I’m still going, I am still painfully shy but it is getting better and this forum has played a large part in my growth from out of the bondage of a recluse into his wonderful surprises he has had for me. My life is so much fuller I can’t begin to tell you.

I had quit playing the Guitar 25 years ago and I wasn’t worth spit at it then.
All of a sudden a few months ago I just felt like I wanted a guitar again so I paid two hundred thirty dollars for one and I had forgotten even how to make the basic chords. I sat down with this thing and prayed “Lord I done spent all that money on this thing and I need your help to play it, now he knows that I’m a tight wad in certain areas.
In less than a year I am playing in public and at church, the Lord is giving me something that I did not quite expect, beautiful music that I have never heard the like of before, a style of playing all my own, no, more like his own. I now own two guitars and have a third one being shipped due June fourth.

Less that a year ago one morning I was sitting and meditating on the lord after Bible study and word pictures began to come into my mind and so I cranked up my word processor which I hardly ever used and began as fast typing as I could and the Lord began to give me words as fast as I could type them.

What came out was astounding, I e-mailed it to my daughter and she said” Dad, I didn’t know you could write” and I replied “I didn’t either” and the editor of a small local internet based Christian magazine called me for a monthly article and Junes article was my fifth one, faithfully the lord gives me words to write, I am a hick and have no command of English, I failed English in high school and dropped out, later, after I got over the notion that wanted to be a professional soldier I did attend college but only the sciences.

I am still battling with self degradation, painful shyness, I think it stems from never having been shown love in my childhood and never knowing anything but very severe punishment, for years I would get a nice paying Job and end up committing financial and go do something else, I had no self worth at all, no matter how much I excelled in the sciences, in any kind of industry, I have been a farmer, a soldier, a sailor, a clothing store owner, a painter, a programmer, a boat builder, I have built six boats of a good size from 16 to twenty six feet, both sail and power from scratch, I have worked for three major boat builders, world cruiser yachts, Clearwater Florida, Morgan Yachts, St. Petersburg and Tolly Craft yachts in Washington State, a welder, a line mechanic for Ford, a race boat builder, an apartment manager, a cowboy, a diver, a builder, a T.V repairman ( had my own store),
Worked for the police dept., a radio operator, a truck driver hauling freight I was competent in all of everything I ever started, as soon as I became competent in something I would commit financial suicide and do something else, my wife stuck by me and I can’t tell you why. She followed me all over this country I became an alcoholic, I was very competent at that and I finally became competent as a recluse.
The one thing I was incompetent as was self worth, when God reached down and delivered me from years of alcoholism and self abuse in such a miraculous way I still had a hard time believing anyone could love me, God wore my fathers face, I fully expected he would give up and go away after awhile, all the while hoping against hope that he would not, but I did not trust him, I trusted no one, if some one complimented me I would accept it and then later attack them for their discrepancy, I looked for ulterior motives in people if they dared show care for me. God began to train me his way and I woke up 30 years later and said “God you mean you are still here?” And his answer came back simply “Yes my son” no other words just “Yes, my son” ever so gently. I am learning to lean on him and my life is getting better, I am 66 years old, ugly as a mud fence dobbed with tad poles, all the money I made took wings, I am old, ugly and broke and I am happier and more satisfied than I have ever been in my entire life. The joy of the Lord has become my strength.

Yes there is pain in peoples lives, pain we sometimes refuse to allow other people to see, I was really good at hiding my true feelings.
I am still sort of a mess but it is getting better.
I have been shocked at the crescendo of things that God is has been bringing into my life the last five years and even more the last year.
Many mornings now I sit here just weeping in his presence.
God in his time will make it better, it will happen sooner I believe if we will trust him but he is competent to finish what he started.
Jim my brother, may your joy be full.
River
Colleentinker
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Username: Colleentinker

Post Number: 5935
Registered: 12-2003


Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 11:58 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

River, I am crying now. Thank you for being so vulnerable with us and for honoring the Lord Jesus in such a personal and profound way.

We are so thankful that God has made you part of our family, River. You help us to see ourselves better, and you consistently build us up in the Lord and in the Word. Praise God that nothing He does is isolated. This is what it means to be the body of Christ; we build each other up in Him, and when we are in Him, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

Thank you for making yourself at home here, River, and for being part of this body of Jesus. We praise Him for you!

Colleen
Jim02
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Username: Jim02

Post Number: 20
Registered: 5-2007
Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 1:22 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Thank You River

We have similarities.

I have had several restarts in my life as well.
I have been skilled at several vocations.
I would master a skill , get bored, quit.

Appliance repair, Air Conditioning, Central Heat,
Propane Business etc...

But I "settled in" the past two jobs. 11 years at previous and 12 plus now at this one.

I am 52.

I carry the baggage of divorced parents, violent childhood, Father was alcoholic and would hit my Mother. I saw her knocked across a room when I was 8. Etc... Mom was a Baptist and Dad was a Catholic. Aunt was SDA .....and by 18, I was recruited. So that makes 34 years as a SDA.

I have been married 29 years , but currently separated, though agressively working with all I am worth to save it. Lost a lot of weight in the past 5 months. She knows I am for real. No games, deciet or guile. But , it is a matter of healing for both of us and choices on her part that I cannot control at all. This is truly God's battle.
I have kept busy, working on fixng up neglected repairs , changing my bad habits, rebuilding our relationship. Too little too late. I don't know.
Somedays it seems hopeless, then all of a sudden, another chance, another day to keep trying to just keep on doing the right things.

Then about a month ago. My oldest son from previous marraige shows up after being gone for 16 years. Wants to renew relationship with me.
I haveto tell him I am in teh middle of a separtion and barely able to deal with my own crisis. I was in a panic and guilt at the same time. Here he was, I had prayed for years that God woul drescue him from his life of dissarry and wrecklessness, then when he does show up, I am in a worse condition I have ever been in. I felt helpless !!!
I gave him money and told him to go back To FL. (I live in Ga)
But the next day , he calls me and says he stayed in local , found a church who took him in.
They virtually adopted him. Found him a place to stay until he gets an apt, got him work, bought him clothes, fed him.
He was baptised last Sunday. I was there.
It was an Assembly of God church.
This is exactly what a church is supposed to do.

I have been seeing my son twice a week.

I still worry that things could go wrong , or that My wife may be repelled by the situation. But so far, she has been neutral. She has not seen him yet. I am a go between. Ambassador between old family and current family.
We have one son in this marriage who is grown and successful. He is a teacher and hopes to complete his masters this fall. But my oldest son is the black sheep, this is the one who was baptised.

So you see, I am trying to rescue myself, my marriage and my son all at the same time and not lose anyone in teh process.
This is what I have seen, God made a way when I could not pull any more weight.

Yet , I still fret , and I have desperate days.
And so it goes.............
Flyinglady
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Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 3709
Registered: 3-2004


Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 1:47 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

River, you are a dear friend and I am so glad you are here. You say things that make me think, as do others. But you just have a unique riveresque way of saying things. God has brought you through a lot of stuff to finally get your attention, so you can deal with your SDA friends.
Jim, you are a newcomer here, but I still consider you a dear friend. You are going through a lot at this time. Only now, God is holding you and may be carrying you through all this. I know God carried me through 5+ years of chronic fatigue and I did not realize it until my CFS was improved. So when things get better, do not be surprised if you see only one set of footprints in the sand.
God has brought both of you here for growth and healing.
My oldest sister told me, when we went on our first cruise, Diana, you do not know a stranger. I guess she is right because God has given me the gift of gab. So, Jim and River, you are not strangers, you are friends, Christian brothers.
May our AWESOME God bless both of you.
Diana
Jim02
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Username: Jim02

Post Number: 21
Registered: 5-2007
Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 1:48 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Colleen, to everyone............

Thank You all. What a treasure !
Helovesme2
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Username: Helovesme2

Post Number: 942
Registered: 8-2004


Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 1:49 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi Jim,

Sounds like God is adjusting the weave on many different strands of your life right now. Remember no matter how hectic the pace and how apparently critical the moments God does not get confused by the chaos. He is working with you and is in the business of redeeming not just you yourself, but also everything you surrender to Him. And He likes you to boot!

Blessings,

Mary
Colleentinker
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Username: Colleentinker

Post Number: 5940
Registered: 12-2003


Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 2:19 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Jim, thanks for sharing your situation with us. We will pray for you and your wife and your son.

I've found I've had to be willing to give to God even my children and my husband. I have to stand before Him, asking Him to be all I need. When He is enough, we no longer grasp our loved ones in a death grip, and they can breathe around us. Moreover, we no longer NEED them in order to be whole or justified.

Praying for you to know Jesus as the One who can fill your heart and restore it to life and complete wholeness. He is faithful--and He is also caring for your son and for your wife. You can trust Him.

Colleen
Flyinglady
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Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 3711
Registered: 3-2004


Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 2:53 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Although my son is still listed on his dog tags as SDA, in the USAF, he said this past Thanksgiving when I was with them, he is no longer SDA. I had to give him to God long before that and just let God work on him. I do the same for the sister with whom I went on the cruise, two times. God is working on her and all the rest of my family.
I say this because, I cannot hang on to them and ask God to do His thing with them. I would screw up what ever He was doing and I really do not want to do that.
So, I have given all my brothers, sisters, and other situations to God and He is taking care of it.
He is so awesome.
Jeremy
Registered user
Username: Jeremy

Post Number: 1827
Registered: 10-2004


Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 3:35 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi Jim,

I've noticed that you keep mentioning wanting to heal as rapidly as possible, or wanting to re-establish your beliefs as quickly as possible. But, whether we like it or not, these things do take a matter of years, not weeks or months. When we have spent either our whole lives or years of our lives, in Adventism, being brainwashed with their complicated and deceptive teachings (and suffering abuses of various kinds), it takes awhile to unravel all of that and to start over, learning from God's Word what is truth. If we were taught false things that were subtly ingrained in us, for a period of years, then we can't expect to resolve all of those things in a rapid manner. Also, as others mentioned, it is important not to try to shortcut the healing process--but to allow all of the things that are involved in that process to run their course, so as to be truly healed from it all.

God bless you and lead you in the truth of His Word!

Jeremy
Javagirl
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Username: Javagirl

Post Number: 393
Registered: 6-2005
Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 8:11 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Jeremy I understand what you are saying, and agree for the most part. (thats happening more often, the agreeing part--its frightening since your comments used to infuriate me!)

The one thing I would like to add is this: I would not want to limit God's healing timetable to acceptable human standards, or the popular pychology angles.

Personally, I have had the experience of being healed from deep wounds in less than an hour, when I have brought them to Jesus for healing. I like to say I completed 18 months worth of counseling in one hour with The Great Counselor.

I know it is different for everyone. I just don't want to limit God. Sometimes He heals instantly, and I have experienced this first hand, where traditional medicine and psychotherapy failed.

Some other areas of my life have not had instant healing. The outcome is for God's purpose, for His Glory. I do notice that the more I ask for healing, and the more my faith is strengthened, the more I experience healing, and see it in those around me, both physical and emotional.

So this much I do now, I ask, and then ask again, for complete healing in any area of wounding, from any source. I know some healing may not come until heaven, but I dont want to miss out on immediate healing, because it never occured to me to ask.
---As far as healing from Adventism, Im not sure where I am in that process. I have just been so excited about meeting Jesus in the last year, and resting in Him, that I havent had time for the pain. :-).

(Oh yeah, that song is perfect here, "havent got time for the pain, havent got room for the pain, not since Ive found you!" Who sang that? Carly Simon? I probably slaughtered it.) Leigh?

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