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Bsim
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Username: Bsim

Post Number: 1
Registered: 7-2007
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 6:14 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi Everyone,

This is my first time posting here although I have been "lurking" around this site for about three years now. My story is probably similar to many of yours, and it has been a long, slow process. (I am quite good at imitating an ostrich, with my head in the sand!)

Anyways, to make a long story short, earlier this year, I finally realized I needed to look at the issue of Ellen White and whether she was a prophet. Although I already knew in my heart that she was not/is not, I still had to go through the process of examining her writings and getting enough evidence to satisfy myself.

I now find myself a bit lost. I cannot go to my adventist church, but also do not know where to go from here. I am a very quiet and introverted person, and it will be hard for me to go to a new church of a different denomination. I have also been feeling a lot of sadness over the loss of church and church family. On top of this, my husband and I are also dealing with the loss of my mother in law.

The Damascus Road Community Church is not too far from me, and I have considered going there, only because I think the leadership will at least understand my religious baggage. But I am really having a hard time getting out the door to go. I am just very hesitant to walk into a new place right now - I feel a bit emotionally unstable. Any suggestions or advice for me?

Oh, one last thing. I just want you all to know that I have appreciated all of the discussions I have read over the last few years. I have learned so much from you all. You have been a real blessing to me in so many ways.

BSIM
River
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Username: River

Post Number: 1216
Registered: 9-2006


Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 6:59 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Bsim,
Welcome in the name of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ.

Just get up, get dressed and walk in that door and our Lord will be with you.
River
Benevento
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Username: Benevento

Post Number: 155
Registered: 4-2005
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 7:09 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi and welcomesim

I think most of us here had the same problem.
When I felt I could no longer worship in the SDA church there was sadness, it's like a divorce I think. But pray, rely on God to go with you. You
may want to try several (many) churches before
you are through, but the Holy Spirit will guide you and the Damascus Rd Church will be a good place to start. Just do it! as they say and God
will bless. My prayers are with you!! Peggy
Jamundson
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Username: Jamundson

Post Number: 18
Registered: 7-2007
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 7:44 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I have been active in several "spirit filled" churches over the years and have come to enjoy them for the wonderful effusive worship that can be found there. Adventist do not understand the incredible joy in giving Glory to Jesus with song and praise. Yes it can be loud and vibrate with instruments of praise. People singing with abandon. Something unheard-of of in SDA church. The old idea that drums are from the devil is hog wash.

I believe that God accepts worship in any form that uplifts the name of Jesus and glorifies God. Satan has no power to subvert praise and worship and prayer

I have been told many times by SDAs that God does not accept contemporary Christian music. I reject their criticism totally. I am not the greatest singer but I have found great joy and healing in singing along to music by Christian artists who by there music one can see and hear their devotion to Christ.

But what about speaking in tongues? I must say this was hard for me. I found much misuse and some of the same legalistic attitudes about this. Some churches use this as a confirmation of being filled with the Holy Ghost. There have been other threads discussing this so I need not. What I would say is I have found there is a place for this in my life, yet I have only spoken in tongues once. I know that it was a gift of God. I have been around people who have made an excess of it and others that are genuinely communicating with God in a very intimate way. Do not fear it, but also do not feel it is required. I believe it is as "the Spirit give utterance"

Most SDAs do not except miraculous healing. EGW prophecy is ok but this gift of the Spirit is somehow no longer acceptable. Again there is much confusion and disparity in the body on this. I do not know how much is truly genuine but personally I have observed miraculous healing.. It does happen and it is not a deception of Satan as SDAs would have it

Finally the most serious drawback in "spirit filled" churches is they seem to be somewhat shallow in bible teaching and knowledge. Every once and a while I find a church that combines passionate praise and joy with a rich blend of Gospel teaching....unfortunately they are far to few.

There are many parts and variations in the Body of Christ yet we all can worship Christ without restrain, and that can include the bueatiful litergy and traditions in the orthodox churches

So to the newly emerging ex sda fear not. walk by the Spirit (Galatians 5) He will not lead you astray

Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit

Jay
Dennis
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Username: Dennis

Post Number: 1197
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Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 7:56 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Bsim,

I really like your idea of wanting to worship at the Damascus Road Community Church. In the late 1990s, it was Dr. Richard Fredericks who first called my attention to the fact that Jesus is our true Sabbath Rest. My wife and I will be forever grateful to him for revealing this biblical truth in a sermon outline entitled, "Sabbath in Christ."

A hearty FAF welcome, Bsim! You have come to the right place.

Dennis Fischer
Wolfgang
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Username: Wolfgang

Post Number: 174
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 7:59 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

welcome Bsim,
it was like I was in mourning for so long,and when I did enter a new church I came in with "loaded" guns on what they teach etc. But I learned to let go.... and sometimes I wonder where I realy belong. But I have learned that Jesus loves me where Im at. period.. you just need to walk through those doors with Him,and with the gift of the Holy Spirit,blessed are the little childern,
Philharris
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Username: Philharris

Post Number: 131
Registered: 5-2007


Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 8:04 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Welcome BSIM,

Since the only way to really learn about a particular church fellowship is to meet them….go and find out who they are and what they are like.

I assume you have multiple choices to pick from. I just did an online search of the church you mentioned and it sounds like a good place to start. Take it from someone who is in a "church poor" area, you appear to have a wonderful opportunity to visit and find just the right place to call your church home.

I will be praying for you and your family to find just the right place to meet your needs, to be fed the Word of God, to experience the love of brothers and sister in the Lord and a place where you are able to serve our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Phil
Joyfulheart
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Username: Joyfulheart

Post Number: 18
Registered: 10-2006
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 8:14 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi Bsim!

Welcome to the forum! You've been through a lot with the loss of your church and church family and mother in law. Those are major life changing events! I've already prayed for you and will continue to call your name before the Father.

I believe it is very important to be in fellowship with other believers and strongly encourage you to step out in faith and go to the church. The church of Jesus Christ - functioning as it is supposed to is really an amazing thing! We need to benefit from their spiritual gifts as much as they need to benefit from ours. God knew we would need each other! It was hard for me to go to another church, too. (They did a great job teaching me about the mark of the beast!)

I do have a suggestion for whatever it's worth; You might want to meet with the pastor first and share your story. He could provide some spiritual support for the things you're facing. Being former SDA pastors, they'll understand.

I praise God for lifting the veil of yet another family and pray only God's richest blessings on you as you step out in faith. He will bless your obedience as you follow Him.

Let us know how things turn out OK?

You are in my thoughts and prayers!

Joyfulheart
Jeremiah
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Username: Jeremiah

Post Number: 262
Registered: 1-2004


Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 9:06 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I remember making a secret trip from Hartland to visit the Damascus Road church... had to be careful where I put the things they gave me as a visitor so as not to get in too much trouble if anyone found it out.

I was never used to that type of praise music, and when I was there it seemed like it might be worshipful but I was puzzled how God would react to the almost concert-like atmosphere there. It was a mystery and I only went there once... soon after that I moved back to the Northwest US anyway.

Yes, try out different churches... you will be unsure of yourself for a while judging by my experience.

Jeremiah
Colleentinker
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Username: Colleentinker

Post Number: 6464
Registered: 12-2003


Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 11:21 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi, Bsim! Welcome to the forum! I can only agree with my brothers and sisters above...just pray, ask God to direct you and reveal where He wants you, and start visiting!

It is very like a divorce to leave Adventism. I affected me almost the same way my divorce affected me. I felt alternatingly sad, angry, depressed, lost, betrayed, abandoned--I felt my identity was disappearing.

God desires to plant you in His body. You will be amazed to discover Bible study with people who don't have Adventist backgrounds! You are right, though...most Christians don't understand what you're going through or what you've come from. That's where we can help.

Stick with us, Bsim--we'll talk, support you, commiserate, answer questions, share our journeys...and God will heal your heart. At the same time, start visitng churches. You don't have to agree with all the fine points of secondary doctrine. Just find a place where Jesus is lifted up and the Word of God is taught, where people study the Bible and are alive in Jesus.

He will comfort you and heal your heart, and He will bring you to a church home.

So glad you're here!
Colleen
Mwh
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Username: Mwh

Post Number: 663
Registered: 4-2006


Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 1:16 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Welcome Bsim!
grace and peace from our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Great to hear from you, I look very much forward to here your story, when your ready.
Also I would recommend you trying out every Church you can come about, also maybe there are home churches in your zone.
Go for a really Jesus centered church, where the Bible, the Word of God is really used and looked upon with awe.

Let us know if we can help you out with anything.

In His glorious grace,
Martin
Robby
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Username: Robby

Post Number: 10
Registered: 2-2006
Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 6:09 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I love what River said: "Welcome in the name of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ". Amen

I speak as a 4th generation PK. The deception of the SDA church is thorough and woven by a master mind. Pretty surreal isn't it.

I am very convinced that God works through process overlayed with the guidance of His Holy Spirit. I’ve seen this in my own life.

So immerge yourself in the “process”. The process of worship, prayer, Christian fellowship, total surrender.

And your spiritual growth will lead you through times of hurt and disappointment. But lock your vision and faith on the God who invites us to call him Father. That wall between you and Him will began to crumble. It will happen.

Because of His grace,

Robby
Cloudy
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Username: Cloudy

Post Number: 30
Registered: 7-2007
Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 6:09 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Welcome Bsim,

I'm sorry for all the loss you are experiencing right now. It is okay to be extra gentle with yourself for a while.

You seem to want to reach out and connect with another church, but are hesitant at the same time.
Keep in mind that visiting a church is not the same as making a long term commitment to that church. I think you will find that most churches will not scrutinize you and proselytize you as a visitor as is common in SDA churches. At first you may want to observe and see what it's all about, as you have with this forum.

You may also check out many churches in advance on the internet. Damascus Road Community Church has a website which tells you what to expect there and even has some messages for you to listen to. I would love to visit there if I lived closer. I heard Richard Fredericks speak at the Good News Unlimited fellowship several years ago, and was very impressed. I was a little baffled when he said he disagreed with Desmond Ford about the Sabbath, but he didn't explain at the time. After reading Sabbath in Christ, now I understand where he was coming from. :-)

One last suggestion is to find a bible study/ fellowship to join. I'm also introverted and find it difficult to try out a new place by myself. I've heard many other christian ladies rave about a Community Bible Study where they meet weekly to study in a smaller class where they can get to know/ support each other over time. It is nondenominational and studies just the Bible. I am joining for the first time after hearing about it for years. There could be one in your area, see communitybiblestudy.org

I hope your husband will join you as you visit churches. He can use the comfort of God's Word and fellowship too.


(((Bsim)))
Berit
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Username: Berit

Post Number: 6
Registered: 7-2007
Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 6:12 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Welcome!!

When I left the church I looked up in yellow pages where to find an evangelical church to visit. The first one was a pentecost church. It was different in many ways, but their prayers touched my heart to tears. The next church I visited was a baptist church, where I ended up staying before we moved away. I loved it there, it was such a wonderful christian fellowship! Was I ever happy that I had dared to visit other churches!!!

I wish you all the best in your search for a new church, try different ones and God will be with you! You will be blessed, I'm sure!
Flyinglady
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Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 4077
Registered: 3-2004


Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 7:50 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Bsim,
Welcome to FAF. Why not call the pastor of the Damascus Road Community Church and talk to him first. That is Richard Fredericks and a former SDA pastor. I am sure he will be glad to talk to you.
Pray a lot. That is how I found my church, a lovely, God filled, Spirit filled church with music that shakes the rafters. I am so thankful for it.
God is leading you and will not drop you. He is so awesome.
Diana
Bsim
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Username: Bsim

Post Number: 2
Registered: 7-2007
Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 8:39 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Thanks everyone for your warm welcome, suggestions and prayers! I have tears in my eyes after reading your postings. I feel very safe and welcome here. River, we (my husband, daughter and I) will be attending a church this Sunday - I am not sure which one yet, but we will "put on our walking shoes" and head out the door and see where we end up. We have a lot of options for worshipping in our area.

We do need to find a church to fellowship with. Both my husband and I feel that we are really missing that part of our lives.

I have been an adventist all my life, and it is a bit disconcerting to realize that things I believed in all my life are just not true. I sometimes just shake my head and wonder how in the world I never questioned some of my beliefs.

My first "aha" text was Romans 10:4 -- "Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes." I had to reread that text several times, and even went back for several days to read it again to be sure it was saying what I thought it was. I had to rethink my whole understanding of keeping the 10 commandments and being perfect after the close of probation.

I will share more of my story when I have more time, but thank God He is faithful and never gives up on us!
Flyinglady
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Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 4079
Registered: 3-2004


Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 9:07 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Bsim,
God is with you. He will take you where He wants you.
Like you, I was born/raised in the SDA church. God had been gently pulling me away over the past 30+ years, until Dec 2003/Jan 2004.
What a Glorious 3 1/2 years it has been. I know He will do the same for you.
Glad you are here.
Diana
Susans
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Username: Susans

Post Number: 397
Registered: 8-2006
Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 9:38 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Welcome, Bsim! I am thrilled you are here, and as everyone has said, it can be a very daunting experience to seek a new church to worship in. Once you put your foot out the door, though, I believe it will be much easier than you think now.

I felt funny going to church on Sunday, even though I converted to SDA when I was 29; I had grown up in the Baptist church. I visited in my area (I was divorced so I had to go alone) many churches while I prayed God would put me where He desired as I worked through all the grief, anger, loss, and confusion that coming out of the SDA church brings.

When I visited my Calvary Chapel church, I knew I was "home". I believe it was providential as well that they had a Saturday evening service, which is the one I attended with few exceptions for those years. Now, I have no problem (I felt weird in the beginning) worshipping with other believers on a Sunday morning.

You will be fine! As Colleen said, stick here and we can be your sounding board, as you navigate your way around. It's the next best thing to having friends coming along with you. And, most importantly, keep an open mind and pray without ceasing! You may be very surprised to find where it is that God has planned for you and your family to be.

A community bible study or a small women's group (and a men's group for your hubby if he is inclined) is a great way to make friends (they aren't all out to kill SDA's ha) and to ease into church fellowship if the church you are considering has them. My church had almost 5 thousand members but I didn't start to feel connected really until I joined a woman's group.

And as has been said, it's not a long term committment you are making right away. In fact, both times when I thought I had a church family and would always be there, God had different plans...once I moved cross country and the second time I married and moved. So the process can repeat itself, even if you remain in the same area. Now we have moved again, so our search will be going on at the same time as yours. I will pray for you as I pray for us as we both seek a new community of God's people.

Don't rush yourself about choosing a church, but don't delay worshipping with others. It's easy to isolate yourself after leaving the SDA church, which is what I did. It was 3 years after leaving before I attended church regularly again, and that was WAY too long.

Sounds like Damascus would be a great place to start. I wish there had been a church like that for me when I left.

I will pray for you and your husband. God will never fail! He already has the place for you picked out. Think of it as an exciting adventure to discover that place!

Susan

(Message edited by SusanS on August 04, 2007)

(Message edited by SusanS on August 04, 2007)
River
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Username: River

Post Number: 1217
Registered: 9-2006


Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 10:49 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Bsim,

I also am very introverted so I know the feeling, I literally have had to force myself to walk out my door and go to a new church, I am going to be praying and asking the Lord to help you with that, in fact I am going to hold special prayer for you after I hit the send button, I know how painful this can be.

It may sound like I am not introverted the way I yell back and forth with these guy's here on the forum, but it is the Lord helping me with that even, he has brought me a long way, a really, really long way in such a short time.

River
Gcfrankie
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Username: Gcfrankie

Post Number: 35
Registered: 1-2007
Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 10:56 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Welcome Bsim and God bless you and your family. I live in a very small town and I (or should I say God) choose a bible community church for me to go to. He knew I needed somewhere where His truth is taught straight from His word. I did not worry what the church doctrine was and still don't. The first several times I went I would hide my car and walk as I was afraid of the SDAs seeing me but the Holy Spirit helped me get over being afraid.
I know for me when I was still an active SDA in the last year I would become restless during the sermon and could not get out of there fast enough. As I read the book of Galations over and over again I had a light bulb moment and that is what cinched my leaving.
Do I regret leaving? NO! Do I miss my friends? Yes. I just wish they could see the truth.
It was very hard for me to also walk into a strange church but the people there are so friendly and go out of their way to make you welcome and wanted and was immediately asked to join a sunday evening home bible study.
I spoke to the Pastor about SDA and he has no understanding of their doctrines but did give me an e-mail of a member who had also tranistioned out and has moved away and could be of help to me but I have still yet to contact him. Both times he has been back and attended church I have been gone so I need to really contact him to find out when he will be back.
To all FAF brothers and sisters thank-you for being there for all who are transisioning out of a false religion and also to Richard and Colleen for their articles in the Proclimation Magazine.
In our love for Jesus Christ and His love for us,
Gail
Honestwitness
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Username: Honestwitness

Post Number: 284
Registered: 7-2005


Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 12:42 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

As you search for a new church, try thinking of yourself as a reporter who is writing a news article about some of the churches in your area. That way, you're not offended if the people fail to treat you as warmly as you might hope. Some church people can seem standoffish, but they're probably thinking they don't want to offend you by overwhelming you on your first visit.

Every church has a different 'flavor,' depending on the mix of personality types. Also remember that visiting only one time won't give you a well-rounded picture of the true character of the church. You might be there on that one day when the people who will eventually be your best friends aren't there.

On my first few visits to the church where I now belong, the people who are my favorites weren't there. In fact, they hadn't even visited there yet, as they still lived in another town.

Sometimes when I first started visiting my church, I was feeling in a really 'raw' mood, and even the nicest people just rubbed me the wrong way. One day, I had to leave in the middle of Sunday school, because my emotions just came crashing down on me and I was feeling like a giant egg-beater came down and stirred up all my anxieties, fears, anger, and depression, all at once.

I recovered quickly, though, and couldn't wait to go back the next week. Overall, I totally LOVE the church.

My church has about 600 members, and it took several months of faithful attendance before I made the connections that moved me into a small group fellowship. But I knew this was where God wanted me, and it was worth the wait.

I'm praying for all you precious, brave souls who have left Adventism, or are in the process of transitioning out.

Honestwitness
Luzisbornagain
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Username: Luzisbornagain

Post Number: 78
Registered: 7-2007
Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 7:10 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Welcome Bsim. Just recently I started visiting a nondenominational church that's close from where I'm at and it has been a blessing. They focus on Jesus Christ and use the bible as their final word. I've also been blessed through their praise music. At first I felt hesitant about going. Just trust in the Lord and go in in faith and the Holy Spirit will guide you. Keep in prayer and you'll soon know. The Demascus Road Comm. Church sounds like a good start. One way to find out is to check out their website and read their mission statement and what the church is all about. That's what I did. God bless and welcome.

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