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Aliza
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Username: Aliza

Post Number: 25
Registered: 8-2006
Posted on Saturday, October 21, 2006 - 10:29 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

In my journey out of Adventistm I've visited churches where I left there knowing without a doubt that I would never be back. This guilt trip legalism you mention is one reason. At times I've known before the preaching ever started that the presence of the Holy Spirit was missing. I've heard shallow preaching where you wonder if it was really a church service. I remember one time waiting to see if there was even going to be a mention of a Bible text anywhere during the service.

It's interesting that even though we formers are spread all over the denominational spectrum, there seems to be some real core issues that we insist upon. And in that we are highly similar.

Aliza
Colleentinker
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Username: Colleentinker

Post Number: 4819
Registered: 12-2003


Posted on Saturday, October 21, 2006 - 11:09 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

So true, Aliza. Most of us here know two things really clearly: the law and the surpassing glory of Jesus. Once we see Jesus after the deception of legalism, we know we have to find Him wherever we worship. The Jesus of the Bible must be the focus and the center of all a congregation does, or the the fellowship is superficial and the preachng is shallow.

Praise Jesus for bringing us to Himself!
Colleen
Flyinglady
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Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 2924
Registered: 3-2004


Posted on Saturday, October 21, 2006 - 11:31 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

When God showed me that I should not be rebaptized into the SDA church I prayed, a lot. I was reading the Bible, hadn't found FAF, yet, and was visiting churches. I had no idea what to look for except that I wanted to hear Jesus Christ being lifted up and no extra Biblical teachings. I started reading all the web sites by former SDAs and read about the covenants, Sabbath rest and so many other things. My head was swirling and just could not hold it all. I did not know what to look for, so God told me where to go. Sometimes I feel like he is pushing me to see how other Christians worship and I will visit the different churches. I am reading the Bible with a Baptist group every Sunday. I want to make an appt with their pastor to discuss what they believe, then I visited the PCA last week. If God wants me to change churches I know He will point the way. One thing I do know is, it has to be all about Jesus and the new covenant. I know some churches still quote Malachi for the reason for tithing, but that is not a salvation issue. I know nothing about eschatology, even though I am in my third reading of Revelation. I do know my Awesome God will lead me and tell me where to go.
Diana
Alnadean
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Username: Alnadean

Post Number: 20
Registered: 8-2005
Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 7:33 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi everybody:
Raven I must say I love the way you expressed yourself earlier.
Someone mentioned the spirit of God not being in a particular church- not sure how I feel about that- if you are gathered in God's name- shouldn't His spirit still be there? Just wondering...
Unfortunately I have not found a church/fellowship yet. I guess I really haven't tried that hard - the real reason I suppose is spiritual lethargy but I have also relocated several times.
In Tennessee, I was quite anxious to find a church- I think because the person I worked for was adventist and though I told him I wasn't anymore- he refused to believe me and wanted me to come in on Sundays.
Anyway, I stopped in at the first church I saw one Sunday- Church of Christ...The first Sunday I was really just happy to be in church- this was my first time attending 'Sunday' church, and I relished all the hymn singing etc.
I did notice that there was no platform party and in the three times I attended I didn't see any women leading out. I'm not sure if this was before or after I noticed that there was absolutely no music- er no musical instruments- no special music... at first I thought, well they are truly focussed on God, but then I realised that it was just too silent (and I'm conservative).
They were all very friendly and after service most people came over to say 'hi'- then one person asked to do Bible study with me and at the moment it sounded okay---but then the following week I was approached to come earlier for Bible study...then the following week I started to get letters in the mail- well cards. I got phone numbers to call for Bible study.
I was at this point very irritated. I kept thinking.
I AM A CHRISTIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Leave me alone. I am coming to church- aren't I? Why then must I need Bible study...Why is it you feel you know more than I do? Did I ask for help? and more importantly CAN'T I JUST ATTEND CHURCH IN PEACE- IS IT POSSIBLE?????????

Well I never went back- well I also moved, but I will never again attend the Church of Christ- who really do speak as if they too are the only true church- really? funny enough I just came from one!

I think I'm still in that place where a lot of things irritate me- tithe paying is at the top of the list!
Bothering me when I go to church is another.
I feel I am leaning towards a fellowship as opposed to an organized church- organized religion- now there's another irritant---somehow I am not in the place where I want anyone telling me what to do. The Bible says where 2 or more are gathered in his name---now whatever will I do with my fabulous adventist outfits????
Funny... the church of christ people kept commenting on my clothes. I thought this is not good.

Anyway having said all of that I am still trying to find a church for the moment- somehow not very motivated - perhaps I need prayer because I'm more thinking that I want to get my ears pierced- lol; but I miss church.
If I sound confused- I am. Thanks for listening though.
Al-Nadean
Flyinglady
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Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 2929
Registered: 3-2004


Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 8:14 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Al-nadean,
God has a church/group for you. Keep praying and He will let you know. I will put you on my prayer list. Our awesome God is holding you.
Diana
Aliza
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Username: Aliza

Post Number: 26
Registered: 8-2006
Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 10:20 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Al-nadean, I so understand what you're saying in so much of this. First, as to the non-instrumental Church of Christ, as you've found you've rather hopped out of the frying pan into the fire from what little I've known of CoC people. If interested, check out http://www.zianet.com/maxey/refintro.htm Al Maxey remains a CoC pastor but is a huge thorn in the flesh to the legalistic element.

Now--pierced ears! I had to laugh because I, too, got to a point where it was like a defining moment that I knew I really wanted to get my ears pierced, so I did. It was more than wanting to wear jewelry. Not sure quite how to explain it except that it was somehow like drawing a line in the sand for my new freedom in Christ.

Since I was the one who initiated this thread, I guess you can tell that I join you in your frustration for finding a local congregation. It's not been easy for me over the years either. I'm going alone and since I'm not the target demographic for many churches, I find I'm often invisible, which sort of seems to be the opposite of what you were finding.

Don't give up hope, though. I'm determined to find the place where I can have the fellowship of other believers. Praying for you to find the right place as well.

Aliza


Leigh
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Username: Leigh

Post Number: 124
Registered: 2-2003
Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 10:34 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Aliza,
getting my ears pierced was also like a badge of freedom for me, too! leigh

Leigh
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Username: Leigh

Post Number: 125
Registered: 2-2003
Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 10:41 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Al-Nadean,
I read in another thread that you are from AA county, MD. So am I. Where in the county do you live? We found a wonderful non-denominational church that we have been going to for about 3 years. I know many other people who go to 3 different PCA churches in the area and also some who go to a few other non-demoniation churches.
I will email Colleen with my email address if you would like to contact me.

Leigh
U2bsda
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Username: U2bsda

Post Number: 253
Registered: 11-2004
Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 11:36 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Yes, ear piercing was something I put off for years because I didn't want to go through the pain. It was freeing though :-)

Al-Nadean,

I would see if any churches in the area have websites (do a Goggle search) and go there to see their statement of beliefs and sometimes you can hear sermons too. That may help you to weed things out a bit. I remember hearing someone from Church of Christ on the radio. They said they were the true church because they were called the "Church of Christ".
Flyinglady
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Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 2930
Registered: 3-2004


Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 3:56 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I was coming home from a meeting with friends and God put it in my head to do something for myself and get my ears pierced. So I stopped at a pawn shop, I live near Las Vegas, and there was a lovely pair of lapis studs. I bought them and a gold pair of studs, then went and got my ears pierced. I have since given the lapis studs to my oldest sister and now wear dangling earrings. Just going through the motions of having them pierced was very freeing.
There is a church/group for each individual that leaves the SDA church. God will let you know what it is in His time and not yours.
He is always awesome.
Diana
Alnadean
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Username: Alnadean

Post Number: 22
Registered: 8-2005
Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 5:09 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Oh my goodness you guys, this is unbelievable! I almost thought that noone else would pierce their ears- and here I was-- very wrong. I must do it at once! (funny)
Thank you so much for all your thoughts- you have made me feel so much better.
So I was right... something is definately 'wrong' with the Church of Christ congregation- I found myself wondering if that's the way people are inundated with solicitations once they visit the adventist church- I hadn't thought about it before.

Diana: Thank you for your prayers... I know I need it...and am I seeing earings in that picture? lol

Aliza: Exactly who is the target demographic these days?
Ok, so I haven't pierced my ears yet; but I definately bought a necklace today. I was pretending like I knew all about them too! Wasn't sure what to buy so I bought something silver which was under 'lock and key'. I figured- well it must be good if you have to lock it up. I found the process quite funny- then I found a changing room and donned the thing right there. It's pretty- lol.
Next it will be the ears.
Keep me posted on your progress- at least I should say I will try to keep up with these posts.
As soon as I'm finished here I will check out the link. Thank you.

Hi Leigh- nice to meet you.
I live in Severna Park- and sure send your email along. I did ask Colleen in another thread who the people were who were from MD; but I'm famous for losing my threads

U2bsda: Oh the pain is definately a problem!
Yes, I have actually done searches and read and read and read, but nothing has called me yet. I'm going to try refocus though- what Raven and Aliza talked about earlier is what I need to do at this point- list all the things I need in a church family eg tithe paying- I'm not paying it!
Funny what you said about church of christ. I got such a holier than thou attitude from them - very covert- I think its a matter of trying too hard
Once again guys thanks for sharing with me- I'll keep you posted.
Al-Nadean
Aliza
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Username: Aliza

Post Number: 30
Registered: 8-2006
Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 5:50 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Can I be just a teensy, eensy bit jealous? (In a godly sort of way of course <grin>) Here I'm looking for a church and no one is in Illinois and Al-Nadean has already found a support system with church suggestions!

Al-Nadean, I always figured the perfect target demographics for churches was a family in their 30s with 2.whatever kids. Now, I'm a single woman who could have joined the discussion a few days ago about being senior grandmother, grandfather for the group!

Actually, though, most churches do have greeters who smile and shake your hand but aren't intrusive. However, I have been to churches where literally no one recognized me when I walked in or out. The church I attended up until this week has people greeting you in the parking lot directing you where to park and others as you walk in. And while I'm on a roll, I figure churches could hire me to give them the viewpoint of a visitor. Am I the only one who's come up to a church wondering which door to go into? Or which building among many is the actual church building? Or which way to the restroom or...... well, you get the point.
Flyinglady
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Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 2932
Registered: 3-2004


Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 7:16 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Al-nadean,
Yes, those are earring you see. They are my first pair of dangling earrings with sterling silver and lapis lazuli dangling things. I wore them to the first FAF reunion in Feb of this year.
Aliza,
I am a single senior citizen, who will be 66 next month on Nov 7. I would get ignored at the SDA churches I went to, but as I visited churches after I decided not to become an SDA member they were so friendly and welcoming. God was just looking after me.
He is so awesome.
Diana
U2bsda
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Username: U2bsda

Post Number: 256
Registered: 11-2004
Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 7:40 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Al-Nadean

Your necklace shopping story was funny! They should have lessons for us formers on how to buy and wear jewelry.
Alnadean
Registered user
Username: Alnadean

Post Number: 23
Registered: 8-2005
Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 7:53 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Oh Aliza- I'm afraid I only fit a part of that demographic since I'm very much single- but I'm in my 30's.
Remember now, I've only been to 1 church, and that was in the south- they are known for their hospitality- even though I thought most churches would be welcoming.
The only church that I know was not welcoming to visitors is the church where my membership is currently-they are pretty much focused on which seat belongs to them and who is sitting there- visitor or not; but then again that is New York- so maybe its the environment- just kidding.

Diana : lapis lazu- what? okay I've got a lot to learn.
Tell me more!
Al-Nadean
Javagirl
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Username: Javagirl

Post Number: 309
Registered: 6-2005
Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 7:55 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Oh Ladies, thanks for the laugh. My girlfriend has been helping me with makeup/jewelry, and said that she is gonna nominate me for the TV show "What not to Wear" We died laughing about what a great show that would be...."40-something woman from cult background learns about stlye, jewelry and makeup....:-)
Flyinglady
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Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 2934
Registered: 3-2004


Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 8:12 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Yes, it is good to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes. Here I am, in my sixties, and my sister 13 years older than me showed me how to wear make up when we went on our Mexican cruise last year.
God gave me the innate ability to know how to dress well and what jewelry to wear with whatever I am wearing, so maybe at the re union, we women, can get together and learn from each other. That would be fun.
Al-nadean, Lapis lazuli is an opaque blue semi precious stone. The best lapis comes from Afghanistan. The American Indians use a lot of it with turqoise, coral, and other stones. It is a beautiful dark blue and is gorgeous. I like it best with sterling silver or white gold.
Oh, I did enjoy your shopping venture for a necklace. Come visit me in Las Vegas and I will show where you can buy good jewelry at the pawn shops around here. There are a lot of them.
So, I hope you all come to the re union in Feb. We will have a GOOD time.
God is so awesome in how He brings us together.
Diana
Raven
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Username: Raven

Post Number: 574
Registered: 7-2004


Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 8:16 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Agreed that us formers need lessons for buying and wearing jewelry! I have the same problem, and no mentor. Although I got my ears pierced a few months ago, I still am very plain and barely wear jewelry because I just don't know what looks right with which outfit. That's also part of the reason I keep the same stud earrings in all the time that they were pierced with, and the other reason is because so far my ears have been too sensitive to handle cheaper earrings. That changed about a year later for my daughter, so I'm hoping it will with me, too.
Flyinglady
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Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 2935
Registered: 3-2004


Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 8:31 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Raven,
One of my best friends, in VA, can only wear gold in her ears as her skin is very sensitive. I hope that you are right and that this will change for you. It makes life so much easier. I like silver and white gold instead of the yellow gold.
God made all these lovely things and wants us to enjoy them, as long as He is still first in our lives.
I was just thinking that maybe, if it is okay with Colleen and Richard, that we can have a color coordination class just for the ladies, so we can learn the colors that look best on us and also learn about how and what jewelry to wear. I will ask Colleen, if you all agree.
Thank you God, you are awesome.
Diana
Colleentinker
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Username: Colleentinker

Post Number: 4826
Registered: 12-2003


Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 8:37 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Al-nadean and Aliza, God will lead you to a church. It is His will that we be in fellowship with each otherówe need good Bible teaching, people to know us and pray with and for us, and a community in which to live out our spiritual gifts for the benefit of the body of Christ. Praying for you both...

Oh, and DO get your ears pierced! Truly, there was hardly any pain, what slight pain there was didn't last more than a few seconds. It was a HUGE right passage for meóa line in the sand, as you said, Aliza. Now I don't feel "dressed" if I don't have earrings in when I leave the house. It's FUN!

I had my ears pierced in 1997óthe young thing who pierced them said, "You're the oldest person whose ears I've ever pierced." Ha!

Colleen
Flyinglady
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Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 2936
Registered: 3-2004


Posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 - 8:45 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Oh, I forgot to tell you that I had my ears pierced
in March 2004. It did not hurt. Now I do wear earrings all the time, even when I am home alone, as I am not dressed it I do not have them on.
Diana
Leigh
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Username: Leigh

Post Number: 128
Registered: 2-2003
Posted on Monday, October 23, 2006 - 4:43 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi Al-nadean,
I live just south of Severna Park. Who knows we may have been at Kohls at the same time. I spend way too much time there (shopping for earrings!)Send an email to Colleen asking for my email address.
Leigh
Alnadean
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Username: Alnadean

Post Number: 24
Registered: 8-2005
Posted on Monday, October 23, 2006 - 8:39 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Okay, I just responded to everyone and 1 click of this new mouse and it all disappeared sigh!
I'll try again tomorrow
91steps
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Username: 91steps

Post Number: 122
Registered: 8-2005


Posted on Saturday, October 28, 2006 - 7:07 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Leigh, I see you mentioned Severna Park, I live in Pasadena. Please send me an e-mail so I can find otu where you attend services.


Now that I am "free" I won't wear my wedding band. Due to my work I do not want people knowing I am married, and frankly the wedding band doesn't mean much anymore.
Flyinglady
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Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 2949
Registered: 3-2004


Posted on Saturday, October 28, 2006 - 7:58 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

In a post here I sound very arrogant and I want to apologize. It was posted Oct 22 at 8:31 pm.
Diana
Alnadean
Registered user
Username: Alnadean

Post Number: 25
Registered: 8-2005
Posted on Friday, November 10, 2006 - 9:11 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi again,
As usual I just didn't get a chamce to rewrite what I wrote and ofcourse as usual it takes me so long to remember the thread I posted on- so I have to constantly sift through so many ...what shall I do with myself.
Anyway wanted to leave my email address for Leigh
alnadean1@aol.com, and it's funny because that Sunday when I bought the necklace, I got it at Kohls- my first time to that store. It is possible it is the same Kohls you shop.
Diana you didn't souns arrogant to me.

Speak to you guys soon

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